Chapter Text
You hum loudly as you return back to consciousness, your body groaning as you attempt to force yourself over onto your back. Dull aches pulse throughout your neck and shoulders, and your eyes open reluctantly to stare at the ceiling of your apartment. Remnant wisps of last night’s dream blow past your memory like a gentle wind, evading your every attempt to grab onto its contents. Despite not being able to remember your dream, emotion still bleeds out from it into the real world.
You sniffle and bring a hand up to wipe away the beginnings of tears as they form in your eyes. It must have been a pretty intense dream for you to react so strongly when you first wake up.
As you finish wiping away your tears, you turn to look out your window and see the sun quite a bit lower in the sky than you’re used to seeing after waking. Usually, you get up pretty early, but you must have felt especially exhausted last night to sleep in this late. That’s probably what emotional turmoil does to a person, huh? Whatever.
Pushing it aside, as you are accustomed to doing, you swing your legs over the edge of the bed, and, with effort, pull yourself up into a sitting position. The aches in your shoulders pulse harder as you do so, and you wince in pain. Maybe you need to look into alchemizing a better mattress. I mean, you’re used to body aches, but this just seems way worse than usual.
You place a hand on your neck and roll it around, trying to massage the parts that seem the tensest. It doesn’t help. Maybe you should take a hot shower and see if it helps any. You feel like you’ve heard Rose or Jane mention that hot showers help with sore muscles. You don’t really have the energy for it, and you haven’t for weeks now, but you should probably try anyway.
You force yourself to stand, and slowly begin to trudge towards the bathroom, still rolling your neck in a futile attempt to relieve your pain. You close the bathroom door as you enter, and turn to face the mirror. You immediately frown at your reflection. Wow, you look bad. The massive bags around your eyes and the far-off, vacant look in your eyes makes you seem dead. Or close enough, at least. You feel lucky that no one’s seen you like this yet because if they did, you’re sure they’d force you back into therapy. Or a hospital. To be fair, they might do that anyway if you keep forgetting to reply to their messages. You’ll get to it after you shower.
You look around your bathroom for a towel to cover the mirror and do so successfully. You hate seeing your reflection more and more these days, especially when you're not wearing anything. With that done, you turn back to the shower and twist on the water, slowly and lazily shedding your clothes. You pointedly refuse to look at yourself as you do so, and simply wait for the shower to heat up.
After about a minute, you step in directly underneath the stream of hot water. You hum. It feels good, but it’s not hot enough, so you turn it up even more. Now, standing there under near scalding water, you can feel your muscles relax with the excess heat, and sigh contentedly. You quickly start to lose track of time. The longer you stand there, the further away your awareness goes. You aren't sure how much more time passes, but by the time you come back to yourself, the water is significantly colder. You frown, really wanting to spend more time sitting under the scalding heat of your shower. Well, you might as well actually wash and just get out now. No point in staying if there's no hot water.
With little enthusiasm, you start grabbing soaps and body washes and go through the motions of cleaning yourself. You start zoning out again halfway through, but your body already knows what to do. Eventually, you finish and reach down to turn off the water. You grab a towel from the nearby rack and quickly dry yourself as you look around for—
You forgot to grab an extra set of clothes... Well, whatever. You lift your hand, and will your god-tier garb onto your body. It’s really nice to have a set of clothes always on hand that never needs to be washed. I mean, they’re not the best looking, but you’re pretty sure if you wanted, you could probably change what they look like? You haven’t really tried since there’s no real reason to, but you feel like that’s a thing you could do. Maybe.
Shrugging, you leave the bathroom and are reminded of your intention to reply to your friends when a soft ‘ting’ sounds from your room. You make your way back in, and grab your phone off the bedside, opening up your chat logs to see who’s been messaging you.
TT: John, are you doing okay?
TT: We’ve all been a bit worried since we haven’t heard from you in quite a while.
TT: Dave, in particular, has been rather distressed about your lack of communication.
TT: You usually answer me fairly promptly, so he’s asked me to try to get a hold of you or else, he’ll probably storm his way there.
TT: Please respond within the hour, just so we know we don’t have to worry.
You sigh a little and feel a little morsel of guilt stir up inside you at the reminder of how long you've been ignoring your friends. Though, despite that guilt, you do admit that it does feel nice that they still care enough to keep checking in on you. You might as well ease their worries, so they don’t show up at your doorstep. You don’t think you can handle more socialization than simple texting.
EB: hey, rose. yeah, i’m doing okay.
EB: woke up a little while ago and just got out of the shower.
EB: i’ll text dave next and let him know i’m alright.
With that, you switch the chat over to the one you have with Dave and promptly find a metric shit ton of messages from your best friend. I mean, you should’ve expected that since the dude likes to talk when he’s stressed, but you really weren’t prepared for just how many there were.
TG: john!
TG: bro
TG: i dont know if youve been keeping up but you do know what tomorrow is right
TG: i know you havent really been feeling up to doing much of anything lately but we havent hung out in a while and this is the perfect excuse to change that
TG: we dont have to have a party if you dont want to
TG: we can just hang out and watch all those shitty movies you used to be really into like
TG: no offense because im pretty sure you might still like those movies
TG: but im also pretty sure you only like them so much for nostalgia reasons
TG: which is fair
TG: gods know i still do things for nostalgia shit
TG: anyway are you okay
TG: i know you can take care of yourself and i especially know im not gonna find you in a ditch somewhere since were literal gods and shit but
TG: you know
TG: a guy worries about his best bro
TG: especially when he hasnt seen him in months
TG: just
TG: try to get back to me soon okay
TG: its been a few days now
TG: i figured you mightve replied by now but i guess not
TG: are you actually okay
TG: like do i need to come check on you
TG: because i will john
TG: i know you dont like people showing up at your place unannounced
TG: but youre really freaking me out here
TG: again i know im not gonna find you in a ditch or anything but i dont know
TG: this whole just and heroic death shit is pretty fucking vague you know
TG: like
TG: can you die if YOU feel like your death is just or heroic
TG: is there some cosmic force out there that determines that kind of shit
TG: i know youre probably not dead but not hearing from you for two months is a long fucking time
TG: i cant help but think of worst case scenarios
TG: rose says shed be able to feel if you were dead through her weird seer powers or whatever but
TG: for some reason i cant trust that shit like i used to
TG: not that i dont trust rose but you know
TG: sometimes logic isnt enough because there will always be that fucking “what if” feeling
TG: and if you dont answer me or rose soon im coming over whether you like it or not
TG: so you better answer soon
TG: rose just said to give you an hour so thats all ill wait
TG: if you dont respond in an hour
TG: im coming over and im kicking your ass for worrying me this much
You can’t help but smile a bit at that last part. How would he kick your ass if you really were dead? Still, you do feel that same guilt begin to gnaw at you again, though it's worse this time. You can feel just how worried he was through his texts, and silently curse yourself for letting it get to this point. You really need to remember to respond to your friends more. Sleeping all day can’t be a valid excuse for neglecting the people that care about you all the time. Even if you’re going through a lot, you shouldn’t put others through the same thing.
EB: hey dave.
EB: sorry about that.
EB: i’ve been sleeping a lot lately yet no matter how much i sleep, i’m still always tired.
EB: did i miss an important day or something?
TG: john!!
TG: also yeah
TG: your fucking birthday dude
TG: did you forget your own birthday
EB: oh.
EB: yeah... i guess i did.
TG: HOW DO YOU FORGET YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY??
EB: hehehehe, like i said, i’ve been sleeping a lot.
TG: okay fair but
TG: even if the day has passed
TG: we still have to celebrate whether you want to or not
TG: im still coming over in an hour because i got all ready and shit so you better be ready too egbert
TG: we have shitty movies to watch and shitty pizza to eat
TG: do you want it to be just us or do you want to invite more people
EB: hmmmmmmmm...
EB: i don’t know.
EB: jade’s probably busy with her weird science stuff and i don't want to bother her over this
EB: if i invite rose, she’ll bring kanaya, which is fine!!
EB: i have no problem with kanaya, but i’ll probably feel really awkward since i dont really know her well.
EB: you could probably bring karkat though. i’m sure he would appreciate a quality terrible movie, at least.
TG: oh no doubt
TG: dudes made me watch a shit ton of troll movies since hes moved in and yeah
TG: you better watch out
TG: his taste in movies may be even more awful than yours
TG: you might have to fight each other over the title of worst taste in movies pretty soon
You grin a little bit at that.
EB: nah, i’ll probably hold that title for all of eternity.
EB: i’ll admit, karkat is a good rival.
EB: but until he gets over his weird obsession of only watching troll movies and tries out some really terrible *human* movies.
EB: he’ll realize just how epically i have him beat.
EB: but yeah, i’ll get ready.
EB: i’ve seen pretty much everything in here several times over, so if you have a suggestion, just let me know.
TG: gotcha
TG: ill ask karkat if he has any preference on the way over
TG: see you in a bit
With that finally out of the way, you toss your phone onto your bed and let yourself simply fall onto it. Looks like you couldn’t get out of socialization today, but you do genuinely feel bad for worrying them so much, so you’ll just suck it up and push through it. Plus, it gives you something to do other than sleeping and dreaming about whatever intense shit you tend to dream about lately. One of these days you’ll remember.
As you're lying on your bed, you get the feeling that you should probably get up and clean up a little since you’re about to have guests. However, now that you’re laying down again, you can’t seem to make yourself move. You know you’ll eventually have to get up anyway to answer the door for Dave and Karkat, but gods, are you super comfortable right now. Which is weird considering how you woke up this morning in pain because of this very bed, but whatever.
Either way, the longer you lay here, the fuzzier you feel your brain start to get. You know you’re falling asleep again, so you try to blink the fog away, but it refuses. You start blinking slower and slower, and your eyelids get heavier and heavier. You know you can’t be falling asleep right now, Dave will be here soon! Yet you just can’t seem to stop it. You let out a long, deep breath and feel your body grow heavier next. You groan quietly, hoping the sound will keep you just conscious enough to listen out for the knocking you’re expecting.
You’re failing, and you know sleep is riiiiiiiight around the corner. And just as your consciousness 8egins to fade, in the shadows of your mind, you see movement. Your 8row furrows. You’re pretty sure your eyes are still closed, 8ut you can still somehow see movement in the darkness 8ehind your eyelids. You w8, stuck in a state of semi-consciousness, in hopes of seeing catching sight of whatever is moving in the shadows of your mind. You w8 and w8 and w8 until… there!
Your focus reaches out for the shadow, like a phantasmal hand trying to gra8 onto a phantasmal o8ject, 8ut it finds nothing. Your 8row furrows further, and you’re starting to worry a8out what could 8e hiding in the deepest recesses of your mind. You w8 again, a little more alert this time, 8ut still riding that line 8etween full sleep and wakefulness. You see it again and quickly reach a hand out once more. You catch something!
????: Hey!
You can feel whatever it is wriggling in your phantasmal hand, 8ut it’s still hidden in shadow. You 8ring it closer towards you to get a 8etter look, the fog in your 8rain 8eginning to lift slightly as you narrow your focus on whatever you’ve caught. And just as it’s a8out to come into the light…
A loud knock pulls you out of your semi-conscious state and into full awareness. You look around frantically, trying once again to find the shadow you saw in your head, but you find nothing. It’s just your room. The sun is setting now, and because of that, there are no shadows dark enough for it to hide in yet. What was that? However, before you can dwell on that thought any longer, another loud knock grabs your attention once again. Right. Dave.
You groan and pull yourself out of bed, your body still heavy with exhaustion as you stand. You wobble slightly on shaky legs and decide to just float downstairs instead. You don't want to want to risk a nasty fall. You glide downstairs just as another knock sounds and call out a response.
JOHN: i’m coming!
You reach the door and pull it open to the sight of one of your best friends and his partner(?). Dave smiles at you, and raises his arms in that way he always greets you.
DAVE: john!
DAVE: and here i thought youd fallen asleep again
You give him a sheepish smile and step aside to allow him and Karkat, who’s just behind him, inside.
JOHN: yeah, i really tried to stay awake, but i ended up like
JOHN: half falling asleep.
JOHN: i still heard your knocking though.
Dave grins, and shakes his head good-naturedly, immediately making his way over to your couch where he drops a duffle bag of what you assume to be snacks on top of it. Karkat walks over to your kitchen to set down a couple of boxes of pizza that they must have also picked up on the way over.
KARKAT: GOOD.
KARKAT: IF YOU DIDN’T FUCKING ANSWER WHEN YOU DID, YOU MIGHT’VE NEEDED A NEW DOOR.
KARKAT: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ANXIOUS THAT GUY’S BEEN.
KARKAT: BUT, WE’RE NOT HERE TO DWELL ON DUMB FUCKING SHIT LIKE THIS, SO LET’S FORGET ABOUT ALL THAT AND WATCH SOME GODS AWFUL MOVIES.
You snicker a little at that and nod in agreement, moving over to your, frankly, impressive collection of movies, and start listing off a bunch for them to choose from. You end up deciding on some random, terrible romcom that Karkat seemed particularly interested in, and settle down on your couch to watch it. It’s really fucking awful.
Still, with you three sitting around, shitting on the characters and terrible plot lines, and enjoying some fucking choice snacks that Dave had picked out, you wonder why you ever allowed yourself to drift so far away from your friends. You’re having a surprisingly great time just sitting here, and doing something as simple as watching a movie with them. I mean, you watch enough of them on your own, but for some reason, it’s different when there are other people watching with you. Maybe you should make more of an effort to keep in touch or figure out why you’re so tired all the time. If it weren’t for that little detail, you’d surely make more time to hang out with them!
Maybe Rose would know. She also might be able to tell you what she thinks the shadow you saw in your head is. Is that worth bringing up? You could’ve been half-dreaming, maybe it's not real? Meh, it's probably not a big deal. If it does become a problem, you'll make sure to bring it up with Rose, but for now, you should focus on the movie with your friends. All that thinking can be done later.
The next day, you wake up on the couch, a half-eaten pizza on your chest, and your hand halfway into a bag of chips. Dave and Karkat are nowhere to be seen, but you know they didn’t just leave since Dave’s duffle bag is still here. You rub the sleep from your eyes lazily, once again wiping away the tears pooled in them. There’s a heavy feeling of loss in your chest, but you firmly ignore it yet again and float up off the couch.
Looking around, you spot a note sitting on the coffee table in front of you. It seems Dave and Karkat left to pick something up for breakfast for you all. Nodding to yourself, you drift on over towards the sink, and grab a glass from your cabinet, filling it up with water before downing it entirely. You find that without Dave and Karkat around, you have nothing to do but wait. Maybe you should do something in the meanwhile?
They probably won’t be out that long, so another movie is definitely out of the question. You can’t pass the time by cooking, because Dave and Karkat are literally bringing food right now, so it'd be a waste. Maybe you should get on with what you’d decided to do last night and talk to Rose about your chronic fatigue.
With nothing else to do, you sigh and pull out your phone.
EB: hey, rose, can i talk to you about something?
Her response is immediate.
TT: Sure, John. What can I do for you?
EB: well... you know how i’ve been sleeping a lot lately?
TT: Yes.
EB: and how i never seem to want to do anything anymore except sleep?
TT: Yes.
EB: do you have any theories as to why?
TT: Sure, I do.
TT: But maybe you should explain a little bit more about your experience before I make any assumptions.
TT: Why do you think you’re sleeping so much?
EB: i don’t know... i can't really help it to be honest.
EB: i sleep more than 12 hours a day, yet despite having that much rest, i’m still tired when i wake up
EB: the doctors think it's depression, and jane says there’s nothing wrong with me physically, but i mean…
EB: clearly something is up if i just can’t stop sleeping.
EB: there's also another issue that i've been kind of ignoring...
TT: What else, John?
EB: uh...
EB: well...
EB: when i *am* awake, i tend to lose a lot of time.
TT: What do you mean?
EB: like
EB: i’ll wake up, and i’ll remember getting up to, you know , go through my normal morning routine, but then all of a sudden...
EB: i’m outside, in a place i don’t remember walking to.
EB: or!
EB: i’ll be walking around my house, doing whatever, cleaning, watching a movie, playing a game, whatever when all of a sudden, i'm sitting at my table with a plate of food in front of me.
EB: like, logically, i know i probably cooked it myself, but i very clearly don’t remember doing that. to me, i was literally just doing something seconds ago, and now i'm suddenly not.
EB: it’s getting pretty fucking stressful to spend so much time sleeping, and not even be able to remember the little time when i’m awake.
TT: Yes, I can imagine that would be quite stressful.
TT: Have you talked to a doctor about this?
TT: This sounds pretty serious.
EB: yeah, i’ve gone to plenty of doctors about this already.
EB: again, they stick to whole depression thing, which, yeah, ok, fair.
EB: but i don’t think depression can also make someone lose time, i mean???
TT: Hmm.
TT: Well, perhaps you have some kind of dissociative disorder.
TT: Losing time like you say you have been is a very common symptom of many dissociative disorders.
TT: They're usually tied to trauma, and gods know we have a more than our fair share of that, b ut, we'll start on the less invasive questions.
TT: Tell me, John.
TT: How do you feel about yourself right now?
EB: how i do... feel?
TT: Yes. How do you feel about John Egbert?
You shrug a little, despite Rose not being able to see you, before you respond.
EB: i don’t know.
EB: i don’t really think about it.
TT: Well, think about it now.
You frown a little bit but close your eyes. How do you feel about John Egbert? At the question, that same heavy feeling in your chest tightens. You scrunch your face up in confusion, before once again pushing the feeling aside. You need to answer Rose.
You think about the question again. How do you feel about John Egbert…? You guess you're cool? Like, people would probably kill for the kind of power you have. You control the weather, you can travel vast distances that would take most people hours or even days in mere minutes through The Breeze, you can rewrite reality with your really neat retcon power, and you can’t die. I mean, that’s pretty cool, right?
But you know your friends are so much cooler, in comparison. Jade can control literal space. She can shrink entire planets, and carry them around with her as if they’re jewelry. Dave has some pretty sick time powers, and can pretty much know everything about the past, present, and future without dooming the canon timeline, unlike you. Rose is a literal oracle. There probably isn’t a single person on all of Earth C smarter than Rose Lalonde.
...You don't why your mind thought of her since you two haven't spoken in years, but Vriska was a fucking badass. She took no shit from anybody, and refused to allow anyone to tell her what to do. Yeah, she probably wasn’t a very good person in general, but man, was she cool. Not only was she the kind of person to take whatever she wanted, and not give a shit about what anyone thought of it, but she also had some really sick powers! She could pretty much turn any bad situation into something really lucky with her awesome dice things. And yeah, you may have had an embarrassingly large crush on her several years ago, and that might make you a little biased, but she was probably the coolest person you ever knew.
(no offense, dave.)
The point is, all your friends are much cooler, so in comparison…
EB: i don’t know.
EB: it’s not something i’ve ever, ever thought about it, so i'm not entirely sure how i feel about myself but...
EB: i don’t think i like john egbert right now.
TT: Perhaps you should try therapy again?
EB: nah, i’m getting really tired of people telling me what they think my problems are.
EB: so far, nothing they’ve said has helped me at all.
EB: i think i’m going to try to figure this one out myself.
TT: Alright then. Good luck, John.
EB: thanks, rose.
TT: Oh, while I have you here.
TT: It’s been a while since we’ve hung out together.
TT: Would you be free to come over for dinner tonight?
EB: oh!
You frown a little. You're still a little burnt out on social interaction after spending the night before with Dave, but you can't bring yourself to say no. It's not fair that you only hang out with Dave and Karkat, and not Rose. You know she's been just as worried about you as Dave has been, she's just better at hiding it. You should at least try to be a good friend again. Plus, you really have missed her. Oh well, one night couldn't hurt. Tomorrow you'll just have to take a mental health day and let your batteries recharge before making more plans.
EB: i should be? i’m not exactly sure when dave is going to leave, but i can probably make it.
TT: Excellent!
TT: Have a good morning, John.
EB: you too, rose.
With the end of that conversation, you sigh and drop your phone onto the counter, lowering your head into your hands. You really should have been more prepared to interact with people before reconnecting with your friends. Of course, they'd want to make more plans to hang out with you after two months of radio silence. Maybe you should learn to start saying no, but that’s not fair to them. They just miss you and want to hang out with their friend, and you blow them off way too much to justify saying no yet again.
You can’t tell them how exhausting it can be to deal with people sometimes. You can’t tell them that every time you leave the house, you feel so physically uncomfortable that you just want to hide yourself away, and never let anyone see you ever again. But that’s not fair to them. You can't just ghost them, they were already so worried over you being gone for just two months. Imagine what they'd be like if you were gone forever. Gods, and Jade... You’d be a pretty shitty brother if you just vanished off the face of the Earth after what happened to her on that ship. Whatever. You’ll just have to get over your issues.
????: Are you sure it’ll 8e that easy, Eg8ert?
JOHN: !!!
You immediately snap your head up to search for the source of the voice only to find your empty living room. Your 8row furrows in confusion and you float a little higher to get a 8etter view of the room.
JOHN: hello? who said that?
You hear the sound of creepy, feminine laughter, seemingly coming from around you. You spin around in every direction, 8ut fail to catch a single glimpse of the source. A strange sensation travels down your 8ack, like a warning of the arrival of something unpleasant.
JOHN: hello?!
????: Don’t worry, Eg8ert. I’m right here.
You spin around yet again, 8ut this time, you’re sure you know where the voice was coming from. It wasn’t coming from around you. It’s 8een in your head, all along. Not in the sense that you’re imagining things, 8ut literally in your head! Is there someone in your head, or is this like… weird telepathy shit?
JOHN: who are you? what do you want?
????: You know who I am, Eg8ert ::::)
????: And you know what I want.
JOHN: vriska?
The voice laughs again, and though you didn’t do it, you can feel your head shake as if it’s responding to you.
????: Not quite ::::)
JOHN: then who are you? how are you in my head?
????: How? Well, you’re the one who put me here.
????: Don’t you remem8er?
JOHN: i put you there?
????: That’s right. I’ve 8een in here for years, trying to get your attention...
????: I’ve even tried reaching out to you through your dreams, 8ut you never seem to remem8er them, do you?
JOHN: wait, what?
JOHN: *you’re* what i dream about?
JOHN: what are you, like
JOHN: a ghost of vriska or something?
????: ...Or something.
JOHN: well, can you get out of my head, please?
You feel your face pout, 8ut you’re sure you’re not the one doing it.
????: I can’t 8elieve you’d want to get rid of me. I’m a part of you, dingus!
????: Don’t you remem8er? We used to 8e gr8 friends!
JOHN: yeah, thanks, but i think i’d remember a creepy ghost girl living in my head.
????: Well, of course you wouldn’t remem8er! You were pretty young, after all.
????: Anyway, sorry, 8ut there’s no way to get rid of me.
????: You’re stuck with little old me for pro8a8ly the rest of your life.
You groan internally, and feel your face smile in response. Man, that’s really weird.
JOHN: are you controlling my face?
????: I am! Isn’t it cool?
JOHN: no! it’s weird, stop it!
????: Aw, come oooooooon.
????: You’ve spent twenty years in the driver’s seat, I think it’s time mama gets a turn too.
????: Look what else I can do!
At that, you feel your 8ody 8egin to descend from where you’d floated up to, and from the minute your feet touch the ground, you realize you can no longer control your 8ody at all. Instead, it moves, seemingly of its own accord, and begins to walk up the stairs. It’s weird watching yourself do things without actually feeling like you're doing them. It's kind of like you're stuck inside a room inside your own head where your eyes are windows, and while you used to 8e on the outside of them, controlling them, now you’re just a passenger.
JOHN: what’s going on...?
????: Do you want the long answer or the short answer?
JOHN: uh...
JOHN: short, i guess.
????: Well, the short answer is we’ve switched places!
JOHN: no, i kind of guessed that, but...
JOHN: how?
????: Well, the long answer is—
Just as the new pilot of your 8ody was a8out to explain, the door 8ehind you opens. You turn your head to see Dave and Karkat finally returning from their 8reakfast run, arms full of 8ags and a set of drinks.
DAVE: john!
DAVE: you’re up!
????: Good morning!!!!!!!!
????: What’d you guys 8ring?
Your voice sounds so different when you finally speak, like a weird com8ination of your own manner of speaking and Vriska’s. Your friends freeze in the act of unloading their 8reakfast and turn to look at you strangely. Karkat’s face is the easiest to read, and you can tell just how confused he is at the sudden change in your speech. Dave pro8a8ly has a similar expression, 8ut his glasses do a good jo8 of hiding it.
DAVE: um, we went down to that one diner you like so much to pick up a good old american breakfast...
DAVE: eggs bacon toast pancakes
????: Oooooooo! Sounds good!
????: I’ll 8e right down!
DAVE: sure...
With that, you turn around and continue to walk up the steps to your room. You can feel Dave and Karkat’s eyes on you as you ascend the steps, 8efore you promptly close the door to your room 8ehind you. Now, in the privacy of your own room, your 8ody immediately starts jumping up in excitement.
????: I’m so excited!!!!!!!!
????: This is the first time I’ve 8een a8le to gain control while you were still conscious!
????: Hey, you don’t mind if I hang out with our friends today, do you?
JOHN: um, kinda????????
????: Why?! You’ve 8een the one hanging out with them for the past twenty years!
????: Plus! I can tell your social 8attery is low today!
????: While mine is overcharged!
You frown, 8ut your 8ody doesn’t copy the action. You really just want to 8e 8ack in control of your own 8ody again, and forget this whole weird situation even happened like you normally would, 8ut you just can’t seem to bring yourself to. You’re normally pretty good at ignoring your pro8lems, 8ut it’s a little different when this pro8lem is an entirely different person living inside your head. A person, seemingly, with her own wants and desires.
JOHN: just for clarification
JOHN: even if i say no and take back control of my body right now, this isn’t going to go away, is it?
????: Nope!
????: Even if you deny me right now, I’ll still take control while you’re asleep.
????: That’s pretty much what I’ve 8een doing anyway.
JOHN: wait, what?
????: Oops!
????: Yeah, sorry... that’s pro8a8ly why we’ve 8een so tired lately.
????: My 8ad!
JOHN: okay, no wait
JOHN: so you’re the reason why i’ve been too tired to do anything other than sleep?!
????: Hehe, yeah.
????: It’s the only time I’m allowed to come out, what do you expect?
????: I want to do things too, you know.
????: Do you know how 8oring it is to live where you are right now, not 8eing a8le to do anything 8ut watch you not live our life?
JOHN:
????:
JOHN: okay, i guess you have a point.
JOHN: that does seem pretty boring. and kinda sad too.
JOHN: fine, you can take control for today.
JOHN: you were right when you said i don’t really feel up to socializing today, anyway.
????: Fuck yeah!
JOHN: by the way, since you’re probably going to be a thing that sticks around
JOHN: what do i call you?
????: Hmmmmmmmm...
????: Well, since I’m kiiiiiiiinda like Vriska, you can start 8y calling me V. It's the name I've 8een using when I take control in your sleep.
JOHN: alright then, v
JOHN: nice to meet you.
V: It’s very nice to meet you too, Eg8ert!
V: Though, I pro8a8ly know way more a8out you than you know a8out me.
JOHN: hey, why do you keep calling me egbert instead of my name by the way?
V: 8ecause you h8 your name.
JOHN: i don’t—
V:
JOHN:
V:
JOHN:
V:
JOHN: oh...
With a nod, V turns your 8ody around and makes her way downstairs to have 8reakfast. It’s definitely a weird experience, 8ut not having to 8e mentally present for stressful things like socializing when all you want to do is sleep is a nice feeling. You pro8a8ly shouldn’t do this often, it doesn’t seem like a very healthy thing to do, 8ut hanging out with Dave and Karkat last night took a lot more out of you than you thought. For now, you’ll just let V have her fun.