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The girl in blue stood silently on the rooftop, watching the full moon with sad blue eyes. The peacock feathers around her fluttered softly in the gentle September breeze. She took a deep breath. She wanted to do this more than anything. But truly feeling ready was a completely different story. She clutched the red string tightly in her hand, the large green square bead imprinting its pattern into her palm. Her hands shook. The weight of the world had never felt so heavy as it did at that moment, except for that one other moment in her life. The one she desperately begged anyone who would listen to grant her the relief of forgetting, if not making the punchline of some cruel joke or a horrible nightmare she could wake up from.
Frantically pushing those thoughts deep down where she fought to keep them, she steeled her resolve. It was now or never.
She brought the fan up to her face. Closing her eyes, she pulled out a brilliant white feather and used the power of her Miraculous to infuse it with deep blue energy. Quickly, before she could hesitate or change her mind, she fused the charged feather with the charm in her hand. She shut her eyes tight, though. She knew she was just prolonging the inevitable. It felt silly. She was the one who wanted this, after all. She understood, of course, that the peacock was never meant to be used this way. As the guardian, she understood that better than anyone. But the one thing that she knew above all is that she very well could go insane if she didn’t give herself the chance to do the one thing she didn’t get to do in the first place while the means to do it was right at her fingertips. That’s how she ended up on that rooftop fighting back a typhoon of emotion. She reminded herself that she needed to get herself under control. The power she possessed was too strong to take any chances. She trained for this very moment to avoid a Feast-level outcome. She needed to remember that.
A flash of blue reached her vision through her eyelids as her creation took shape. For several prolonged moments, during which she still could not find the resolve to open her eyes, there was silence.
“Uh… hello?”
The girl let out a gasp before she could stop herself as the voice that was so familiar and which she had missed so dearly rang out in the otherwise silent night. Involuntarily, her eyes shot open to meet a pair of green ones that regarded her with a gentle curiosity. The same ones she had planned to spend the rest of her life memorizing, yet which she already knew like the back of her own hand. She had witnessed the power of the peacock before, of course. It had made her fight a carbon copy of herself which no one could distinguish from the real girl. It had left her unable to distinguish it from her own friend, tricking her into letting a Miraculous get possessed and nearly compromising her. And yet using that power herself, paired with such a strong connection to her manifestation, was enough to take her breath away. It was like he was still here.
“Adrien…”
The sentimonster cocked his head in curiosity. “Adrien? Is that my name?”
The girl was still at a loss for words. All she could do was nod slowly. She took a hesitant step forward, still astonished as to how accurately his face was portrayed to her. But, she figured, his was not one she’d ever be able to forget even if she tried. Even if she gave up the miracle box tomorrow and forgot everything, he would still feel like home to her.
Senti-Adrien’s face suddenly flickered. It was only for a moment, but it was enough for her to catch the outline of a black mask around his eyes, in which the whites turned green, and the irises turned feline. She choked back another gasp as her eyes welled with tears. She cleared her throat to try to find her voice.
“Adrien… Chat…” It was still hard for her to reconcile the two as the same person in her mind. But at the same time, it wasn’t difficult to understand. There was no one else she could have imagined filling the role better once the pieces fell into place. “Yes.” She wanted to reach up and cup his face, run her fingers through his hair, but she didn’t. This was him, but it also wasn’t him. She had to remember that.
The figure of the girl’s creation watched her intently. “And you? Who are you?” Her sadness was mirrored off him, as the Miraculous intended. “You made me, but… should I know you?”
She smiled a watery smile, trying to keep her tears at bay. “No,” she whispered. “But I know you so very well, my kitty.” His form flickered again, embracing him in black. “You were the best person I could have asked for by my side all those years.” She wanted to be the one to embrace him, but not only duty was stopping her. The guilt was stronger. “I couldn’t do the same for you.” She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. I couldn’t stop him.” Her shoulders shook as she began to weep. “You deserved so much better,” she cried bitterly. “I’m so sorry.”
She felt the weight of a hand on her shoulder. It could have fooled her with how it radiated warmth, just like his used to. She looked up to meet his eyes once more.
“I don’t blame you, Marinette,” he whispered.
Marinette knew that a sentimonster is born from a peacock Miraculous wielder’s emotion. She knew the basics of how to operate this power. But in truth, even if she was the appointed, albeit hastily, Guardian of the Miraculous, she had to admit that the true depth of this power was still out of her grasp. Therefore, she couldn’t be sure if this Adrien was sincere with his words, or if he was only telling her what she felt she needed to hear. She couldn’t be sure if sentimonsters were created with intrinsic knowledge of their creators’ names, or if they were willed into their fabricated consciousness. But oddly enough, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. It wasn’t hard to pretend that it was truly Adrien (Chat) that pulled her into an embrace. So, she didn’t try to fight it. She embraced him back instead.
“I love you.”
The words were muffled greatly. But he would hear her. Marinette wasn’t sure of very much these days, but she was sure of that.
Time lost all meaning as senti-Adrien held Marinette in his arms. The night grew colder in the silver light of the moon, but she hadn’t felt this warm since the night it was revealed to her that her heart need not be torn in two for the rest of her life. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that she was living a stolen moment, running on borrowed time. But that is what drove her to hold tighter. No words needed to be spoken. All that was needed was there.
Marinette wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but she knew her time was up. She had long since stopped crying, but she knew that that wouldn’t last very long.
“I’m sorry.” Marinette’s voice trembled and her eyes welled. “Your creation wasn’t fair to you. But neither would be your existence.” She looked at the lucky charm clutched in her hand, infused with her grief and anguish and guilt.
Senti-Adrien reached out to close her fingers around the small object. He smiled.
“It’s okay to let go.” Marinette looked up into his eyes again and met his soft smile. Maybe those emotions weren’t the only ones she had gifted to him, after all.
“Are you ready?”
Marinette studied his face. His softness, his kindness, his light, everything that made him her partner, her hero and her love would forever live on in her. Whatever doubts she carried in her mind melted away with his gaze.
She extended her arm slightly and let the charm lie on her open palm.
“Goodbye, my prince.”
With a snap of her fingers, Adrien dissolved into the night. The feather broke free of the string, blue disappearing into white. Marinette watched as it floated away into the night, carried by the soft breeze, nothing but a silhouette growing ever smaller against the backdrop of the silver moon. She smiled, knowing that the little feather would somehow find its way to where it needed to be.