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WEEK 2: DAY 2 – 10:00
“Hey, Rindude.”
There was actually a very short list of things that actually bothered Fret. And that was a feat in and of itself because he was notorious for not being phased by anything. He just took them as they came and let bygones be bygones.
“Hey, bud?”
First and foremost was how he and Rindo were stuck in the Reaper’s Game with Nagi. The truth of the matter was that they both had died and ended up in this weird purgatory where they had to fight for their right to exist and not get erased by some asshole who’d rigged the game.
Or by some other team that was also desperate not to get erased.
Second was people calling him Tosai or Furesawa. In all honesty, it didn’t bother him too much, but he just didn’t see the point. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his name, he was with his nickname, but it just was something that bothered him to a vague degree, especially after telling people to call him Fret.
Third had to be how Minamimoto ditched them.
After that, it had to be…
“Hey, Rindo? You still with us?”
After that, it had to be…
“Ground Control to Major Rindo?”
Fret swallowed the lump that was stuck in his throat, watching as Rindo talked himself in circles under his breath, eyes wide and breath frantic, a stressed, tense line to his shoulders. There was something terrified behind his eyes and it unnerved Fret, but there wasn’t much he could do when Rindo was in this state.
He knew how Rindo was, how he had a super short fuse when he got stressed or overwhelmed, and how he clammed up and hid things, too busy trying to solve all of the world’s problems all by his lonesome. He couldn’t jeopardize their team if Rindo snapped, they’d be royally screwed if he did and Rindo left them, too overwhelmed to process things rationally.
Fret licked his lips and looked over to Nagi, who was standing awkwardly beside the two of them.
Dammit, he hated this.
If there was one thing Fret was good at, the one thing that even the Reaper’s Game acknowledged him at being good at, it was remembering things.
He didn’t want to, but he did.
It was some twisted, sick joke, something that would haunt his nightmares for years to come, but it was inevitable.
Inescapable.
Fret swallowed again, the phantom pain of bones breaking and blood dripping down his hands making him shudder. They had died, that much he was sure of, and Rindo had come back to try and save them and Neku, that much he was also sure of.
Fret’s heart stuttered in his chest as he could feel and remember every single gory detail of their subsequent deaths at the hands of Tsugumi. Only a few short moments too late to save Neku and themselves.
He knew why Rindo was the way he was, the fear, the overwhelming and all-consuming fear of dying, to have lost the game and get erased, and the pain of dying itself, repeated constantly like a never-ending loop.
It would drive anyone mad.
Why Fret hadn’t told Rindo that he knew about the first time he’d died in here, crushed under some truck that’d been flipped by some Noise, or that he could count how many times Rin’d died trying to save them, he didn’t know. Maybe it was some misguided faith that what had happened wasn’t true or that it was an omen of sorts.
That was…That was until Rindo confirmed the worst of his fears.
It was hard, oh so very hard to keep himself from vomiting that day, from having a panic attack right there and then, but he managed, faking his way through everything, and plastering on some fake façade of himself so nobody could see past the hurt that was lingering underneath.
He had to stay level-headed.
For Rindo.
But this, this was getting to be too much for him to hold back, to let go.
Fret’s fingers dug into the meat of his palm, nails biting into his skin.
“Rindo.”
Rindo flinched, finally realizing where he was and what was happening.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Rindo asked lightly, a shaky smile plastered on his face.
It was fake.
Fret tried to keep his voice level, tried to keep the pain, the fear, the horror out of his voice.
But it wasn’t working.
“Rindo, our plan failed, didn’t it?”
“What makes you think that?” Rindo frowned, his façade faltering.
“Our plan, it failed, didn’t it?” He tried again, drawing blood from his hands. “We failed and you went back in time, right?!” There was so much frustration, so much desperation, so much pent-up anger and despair that he couldn’t help but get worked up about it.
“Yes?” Rindo answered shakily.
He was tired of the pain, tired of the memories, tired of having to tiptoe around the fact that he’d watched his best friend in the whole world die while he did nothing, too frozen to the spot to do absolutely anything. There was so much trauma, so much shit the two of them had to deal with time and time again that he was absolutely done with hiding the issue.
Fret laughed erratically.
“Fret, what’s wrong-“
“You. Died. I watched you die. And I did. Absolutely nothing.” The words came out halting and stuttered as he laughed, the world collapsing around him. His heart beat erratically in his chest and he started shaking, a violent tremor that ran hotly under his skin. “I have watched you die time and time again, every single time you mess up, every single time something catches you off guard and I am sick and tired of acting like I don’t remember it.”
Rindo paled.
Fret laughed.
“I wished it was some sort of sick, twisted joke, like some sort of warning but then you kept on dying and I kept on seeing the same mistakes, kept on witnessing conversations I swore we’d already had before, over and over and over.”
“I thought I’d finally went insane. I kept on trying to convince myself they weren’t real and that it was just some side effect of something, but…”
Fret choked on one of his laughs, the sound petering into an ugly sob.
“Then you told us that you can time travel.”
He stepped closer to Rindo.
“Imagine what I felt. Imagine what I was thinking when I realized that every single fucking thing I’d witnessed was real. Do you know what that does to a person?!”
“I had to deal with it too!” Rindo snapped, teeth bared. “What the hell do you think I’ve had to go through?! I’ve died more times than I can remember at this point. And it’s only been, what? 9 days!?”
“YOU COULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING!” Fret yelled, rushing up and grabbing Rindo by the front of his jacket. “You could have fucking said anything and I would have tried to help you.” His voice was angry but desperate, a despondent but frantic tone that hung heavy in the air like some sort of shitty sword of Damocles.
“Why didn’t you say anything then?!” Rindo bit back, hands coming to grip at his wrists. “You said it yourself, you realized what was going on after I confirmed that I could time travel. Why didn’t you say anything about it, since you knew all about what was going on!?”
“Because I was scared!”
Rindo froze.
“I was scared that you’d get angry at me and run off, jeopardizing our chances of getting out of this hellscape.” Fret admitted quietly, voice thick with frustration and tears starting to roll down his face. “I was scared that I was wrong. That maybe I was just seeing things. I was scared that I would lose you for good.”
He let go of Rindo’s jacket, leaving behind a few tiny stains of red.
“L-let’s…Let’s just go. We’re heading to West Exit Bus Stop to save Neku, yeah?” Rindo looked caught off-guard by his sudden change in topic, but Fret just crossed his arms across his chest and turned away, tired and all too despondent about this to make much more of a fuss.
He should have just left it alone and let Rindo come to him when he was ready.
Nagi looked at him like he’d just grown another head, but there was a light of understanding in her eyes, one which he wished he never noticed.
He started walking.
“Wait-“
Fret kept on walking towards Shibuya Hikarie.
“Dammit Fret, I said wait-“ Rindo grabbed the back of his vest and pulled, stopping Fret dead in his tracks.
“What.” Fret sighed blandly, gritting his teeth, and bracing for the worst.
“I’m… I’m sorry.”
What?
Rindo sighed and let go of his vest.
Fret turned around.
“I said, I’m sorry.” His face was downturned, hair hiding his eyes. His voice still held a tinge of frustration and anger but it was lessened, a mild simmer compared to the raging, roiling boil of moment’s ago. “I… I shouldn’t have blown up like that.”
“It’s fine.” Fret dismissed.
“No, it’s not fine.” Rindo retorted, voice hard. “We’re in this together and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that.”
“Rindo-“ Fret tried to stress, but he was cut off before he could say anything.
“I thought I was the only one who the time travel affected.” Rindo started, a haunted tone coloring his voice. “It was easy that way, I could keep on resetting as many times as I needed to and none of you would remember, only I would. I didn’t realize that you were affected by my… actions.”
Fret snorted wetly.
“Yeah, well, you saw how that worked out for you.”
“Yeah.” Rindo drawled, looking vaguely uncomfortable. “It’s just…”
“Traumatizing? Horrible? Makes you wanna take a 20-year sabbatical from your own life?”
“Yeah, that.”
“Dude, I’ve seen what you’ve seen and that shit was horrifying. There’s like, a little bit of a disconnect for me, but like, shit dude. You can’t be okay after all that.”
“I’m…not.”
“Well, I’m glad you recognize that.” Fret dug his thumb into the meat of his palm and smeared some of the blood that still clung to his hand. “But that still doesn’t change what you’ve seen and what you’ve witnessed.”
“It really doesn’t.”
Their conversation petered off after that and Fret shuffled in place, unsure as to how to continue their…conversation.
Well, he could always…
“Well, now that we have that out of the way for the moment. I am going to now give you the longest hug you will ever get, because I don’t know what to say about this anymore.” Fret admitted before immediately wrapping his arms around Rindo and squeezing. “I hope you don’t have anywhere too important to be in the next 5 minutes because I am not letting go.”
Rindo laughed wetly and pressed his face into the crook of Fret’s neck, his arms coming up to wrap under his and grasp tightly at his vest.
“I don’t.”
And Fret could feel him tremble, his hands shaking as they held onto his vest and as he hid away from the world for but a moment, taking just this second to breathe.
Fret, himself, just tucked his head on top of Rin’s. He didn’t need to say anything, he already made it known that he was there for Rindo and that he’d literally die for him, even if he didn’t say that out loud. This was enough for now.
It would have to be.
‘’Hey.” Rindo quietly started, his voice muffled by Fret’s scarf.
“Wassup.”
“You can call me an ass for yelling at you. It really was uncalled for.”
Fret snorted.
“Dude, if I didn’t already know you have a fuse shorter than you are tall, I would have called you out on your bullshit ages ago. I just know you get super overwhelmed and stressed real easily and you tend to snap if it gets to be too much.”
Rindo snorted out a short laugh.
“We are going to talk about this more later but as for right now, let’s go save Neku’s ass before he gets it handed to him by Tsugumi. Again.”