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Goro had been leaning back in a chair, sipping on coffee and reading a book - it was probably Hegel or something, Akira was too busy mooning at him to figure out anything more than that - when Sumire bounced in front of him and beamed.
“Senpai! Come shopping with me!”
Goro looked up from his book, and then looked back down. “No.”
Sumire pouted. “Please? I want to get some new clothes, and Akira-senpai told me I shouldn’t do that unsupervised.”
“Ask one of the others.”
“They’re all busy!”
“Ask Kurusu, then - he’s right here.”
Akira smirked, seeing an opportunity to put a scheme he’d had in his back pocket for a while now into action.
“C’mon, Goro, are you too much of a coward to go clothes shopping?”
Goro paused in his reading and visibly grit his teeth. There was a tense silence for a handful of seconds, before he snarled and shut his book forcefully.
“Fine, I’ll go with you, but Kurusu’s coming too. He should take responsibility for the rule he put in place, after all.”
“Happily!”
The trio walked through the streets of Sapporo, making conversation as they did. The city provided ample subjects for it; campaign posters for Hyodo and her opponents, as well as some less political posters, like one for a meeting of a local Phantom Thieves fan club (or, as the poster called it, a Fan-tom Thieves Club).
“Honestly, I think we should go to it.”
“You want to go to a meeting of your own fan club? That sounds quite self-conceited, Kurusu.”
“I’m not self-conceited! I’m just curious. And I think it would be a fun team bonding activity.”
“It does sound pretty interesting!”
“And here I was starting to have a somewhat favorable opinion of you, Yoshizawa.”
“You don’t have to be so shy about saying you like her, Goro! I won’t get jealous.”
Goro snarled the beginning of something about how ridiculous Akira was being, but was cut off by Sumire grabbing the both of them by their hands and pulling them in the direction of a clothing store. His cheeks flushed red from the touch, and Akira took the chance to wonder at how gorgeous he looked like that.
God, he loved these two.
The clothing store Sumire had pulled them into was pretty big, and it had many options to choose from. This, of course, meant that there were many avenues for Sumire to pursue when it came to becoming a fashion disaster. Actually, though, he had to admit that she was getting much better at picking out clothes (he thought that Ann had given her a crash course at some point), and honestly, the only reason he still accompanied her on shopping trips was because he liked getting to A) spend time with her and B) see her in cute outfits. The thought of cute outfits gave him an idea, actually.
“You know, it’d be an awful shame if all three of us came here and only Sumire left with a new outfit. I think we should all get ourselves some stuff.”
Sumire perked up. “That sounds like an amazing idea, Senpai! We could even make a competition out of it.” Her eyes took on a dangerous glint as she said the word competition.
Goro hummed. “That would make this outing more interesting - perhaps even worthwhile. Don’t you think so, Joker?”
“Really, Mr. Sweater Vest Summer wants to compete in a fashion competition? I’m certainly not going to turn down such an easy victory. How about we all go get our outfits and meet up back here in,” Akira checked his watch, “an hour or so?”
Goro made a little growling sound in the back of his throat at the insult against his fashion abilities (which honestly Akira found kind of attractive), but nodded at the suggestion. Sumire also nodded, so Akira turned his eyes away from the two to look out at the options in clothing, already planning his outfit. After all, he may have loved these two, but he’d be damned if he lost to either of them.
He began by looking at shirts, which he often thought were the cornerstone of a good outfit. The first thing that caught his eye was a midnight blue button-down, with silver cuffs on its short sleeves and a fire pattern, the same color as the cuffs, at its bottom. As soon as he lay eyes upon it, he knew it would form his centerpiece. Finding an undershirt to complement it was easy - just finding a V-neck tee of the same (or similar) color as the cuffs and flame pattern.
Less easy was finding the appropriate pants. He knew they would have to be dark in color, to go along with the overall darkness of the button-down, but he didn’t want it to be entirely dark. Plus, he wanted the pants to complement the button-down in color, but not match it precisely - that would just be boring. After significant trial and tribulation, he was finally able to find a pair of pants that matched his needs - a dark black, with white highlights around the pockets and the bottoms, as well as in a long, thin line down the sides of his legs. Plus, they were slim fit and showed off his leg muscles, earned from hard work somersaulting on top of Shadows in order to tear off their masks and reveal their true form, without feeling immodest. Not that he objected to being immodest, necessarily, but that it didn’t fit with this outfit’s vibes.
After he selected his pants, Akira looked at his watch, and found that he had plenty of time until he had to meet up with Goro and Sumire. He frowned; he didn’t feel much like going over there and then just sitting there for half an hour. Then his frown deepened, because as he looked down at his watch, he saw his shoes. His bright, neon, eye-watering green shoes, which had been specifically chosen to cause frustration to Goro, and also others. His shoes which, right now, clashed horribly with the outfit he’d picked out. With a sigh, he began navigating the store to the shoe section.
He surveyed the shoe section like an enemy host, trying to pick out which ones met the criteria of both fitting him comfortably and going along with his outfit. This time, he was looking for colors which did match his button-down precisely, or at least as precisely as he was able with the limited selection. The closest he could come only had part of it (the part covering the top of his foot) in the same midnight blue as the overshirt, with the soles being plain off-white and the rest of it being a bit of a lighter blue, though fortunately it had similar saturation to the darker shade. As he held the shoes in his hands, weighing their suitability, he mused on the fact that the light blue very much resembled the main color of a certain blogging website.
Once he tried on the Tumblr-blue shoes, and found that they actually fit him quite well - he might have to wear them normally after this outing - Akira made his way to the dressing room, so he could confirm what his fashion intuition was telling him, and see his outfit in its full glory. He tucked the silver V-neck into his trim black pants, while on the other end of the pant legs, he tucked the tops of his shoes in. Then, with a degree of flamboyance that was sadly lost on his audience of zero, he brought the flaming button-down on over top of everything.
He twisted and turned as he posed in front of the dressing room mirror, examining his glorious work. He brushed his hair back, then shook his head and brought it forwards again. His hair was not meant for being slicked back, and seemed to have a rebellious spirit equal to - or even greater than - Akira’s own. This rebellious spirit primarily manifested by making him look terrible whenever he tried to get his hair to be not frizzy. After some time, he and his hair had come to a truce, and he respected that it did not appreciate attempts at restraint. Now, Akira squinted at his face, considering his glasses. He took them off, then put them back on, then off, then on, and off again - no glasses won. With a resolute nod of the head, he finalized his outfit, confident that he would win the competition. And honestly, even if either of the other two managed to beat him, that just meant he got to see at least one highly attractive person in a highly attractive outfit. Truly, a win-win scenario.
Soon, an hour had passed and the trio reunited at the same place they had left each other, this time with the addition of three outfits, held in the hand such that their components wouldn’t be seen by the others. For a moment, they all just stared at each other.
“Would it not have been a better idea for us to all meet by the dressing rooms, instead of all the way over here, Joker?”
“Probably, yeah.”
Akira could see a vein popping in Goro’s forehead. “Then why didn’t we do that?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t feel like it.”
“You never cease to frustrate me, Joker.”
Akira stretched himself, cat-like and over-dramatic, over Goro’s shoulders, and cooed into his ear. “Aww, you know you love me, Goro!”
He mercifully did not comment on the scarlet flush covering Goro’s cheeks, or the way he looked away from him, or the fact that the insult he responded with as a denial was much weaker than usual. When Sumire spoke up, he released his grip on Goro and turned around.
“C’mon! Let’s go to the dressing rooms, I want you to see my outfit!”
He gave a fond chuckle. “Alright, let’s do it. I’m sure it’ll be stunning, Sumi.”
Even as she skipped off, he could see that her cheeks were also getting red, just like Goro’s. The plan was going well.
By unanimous vote, it was Akira’s turn to show off first. So, he stepped into the dressing room, swiftly changed, and stepped out of it, ensuring that every step was done with the proper degree of showmanship. As he revealed himself, Sumire clapped her hands together in front of her face, smiling, while Goro simply raised an eyebrow. He twirled around, earning a bit of applause from Sumire, to which he replied with a bow and a wink. Then, he turned to Goro.
“So, what do you think?”
Goro’s eyes wandered across his body, from the top of his head, past his shirt’s silver flames, to the Tumblr-blue shoes. They then returned to Akira’s face, making eye contact. Goro’s tongue flicked out and back, wetting his lips, so fast he almost didn’t notice it.
“It is...passable. But really, why the fire?”
Akira shrugged. “Fire designs on clothes are cool. Just ask Guy Fieri.”
Goro made a disgusted noise in his throat. “If you ever again imply that Guy fucking Fieri is ‘cool’,” - he even did airquotes on cool - “I will tear you limb from limb.”
Akira blinked. “Okay, wow, I was expecting disgust, but not a threat of murder. Please elaborate on why Guy Fieri is so uncool that saying otherwise is cause to deserve a violent death.”
“He’s a disgrace to food critics everywhere.”
“Why do you care about the honor of food critics ?”
“I used to be one, Joker, or have you forgotten about my blog?”
“I thought you didn’t like that thing. Remember when Futaba started reading out your posts to you and you got super embarrassed?”
“I would rather not.”
“It’s one of my fondest memories.”
“Why are you like this.” Despite being formed like a question, the sentence had absolutely zero inflection.
Before Akira could properly respond, he was cut off by Sumire.
“Alright, Senpai, we can stop with your weird form of flirting. Let’s move on with the contest!”
While Goro sputtered and Akira grinned at the word flirting , Sumire pushed past both of them and into the dressing room. As they waited, Akira kept grinning, while Goro intently looked at anything but him. However, the both of them became quite distracted from each other when Sumire stepped out of the dressing room.
Her top was pink and patterned with little circles, baring both her shoulders and her midriff. The bottom was a pair of short, tight jorts, with little star designs in and around the pockets. Around her waist was a tricolor belt of vibrant pink, yellow, and blue - You go, you funky little pansexual , though Akira - with a buckle of a bronze heart, and another, smaller heart dangled down from about an inch to the side of the buckle. For footwear, she had chosen a pair of hot pink high-tops, complemented by a pair of white socks that reached up to the middle of her calf.
To put it simply, the outfit made all the muscle she had from doing gymnastics very obvious. Despite the bright and wholesome colors, Sumire was very much giving off the vibe that she could break Akira with ease if she wanted to. And honestly, he’d probably let her. Sneaking a glance at Goro, he could tell that he was also appreciating the gun show.
Turning his gaze back at Sumire, he let out a wolf-whistle. “Looking good, Sumi!”
Her face grew impressively red at the compliment, and she turned her gaze down to the ground. “R-Really, Senpai?”
Any attempts from Akira at reassurance were pre-empted by Goro, who strode over to Sumire and placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up from the ground and into his eyes.
“Yoshizawa. Take it from someone who spent years constantly dressing up and maintaining an image. This is a good outfit.”
“See? You’re so good at fashion you got Goro to be nice to someone. I’ve never seen someone do that before - not even Ann!”
Akira was gratified by both the eye-roll from Goro and the laugh from Sumire that comment got. Goro pulled his hand away from her shoulder, before turning and walking into the dressing room. In the time they spent waiting for him to return, Sumire and Akira basically just appreciated each other’s outfits in silence.
Then, Goro came out of the dressing room. Different from Akira’s flames and Sumire’s gun show, his outfit was fairly understated, but it worked well. He had a pinkish-white undershirt, which Akira thought might be a tank-top. Over that was a flannel colored a dull, desaturated red. It’s sleeves were rolled up to the elbow, but - as with most everything Goro did, even now - the rolling was done cleanly and precisely, with nary a trace of messiness involved. On his legs was a pair of tight, navy blue pants, with their bottoms cuffed. Between the pants and the bottom of the undershirt was a narrow strip of skin. The shoes he had chosen to go with it were a set of bright red low-top sneakers.
As Akira regarded the outfit, he cocked his head to one side. This wasn’t what he had expected Goro to go with - he’d thought it would be something a bit more flashy - but, he had to admit, this was really working for him.
“I like this look on you, Goro. You should wear it more often.”
“Perhaps I will, Joker. Your thoughts, Yoshizawa?”
She bounced her heels up and down. “You look great, Senpai!”
“We all do. But the question is, which of us looks the best? However, we must first answer the question of what method, exactly, we shall utilize in order to come to a consensus on that, else there will be no winner of our contest. And I think I speak for all of us when I say that the option of there being no winner is the worst possible option.”
Solemnly, both Akira and Sumire nodded.
“I propose that, to select the victor, we hold a vote, with the restriction that none of us may vote for ourselves. Do either of you oppose this plan?”
“Nope.”
“Sounds good to me, Senpai!”
“Excellent. I will go first. My vote goes to Yoshizawa.”
She squeaked and flushed red in embarrassment. “I vote for Akechi-senpai!”
He nodded and took this in stride, turning to look at Akira. “Well then, Joker, it seems you are our kingmaker. Who will you pick as the winner?”
Akira stroked his chin as though he were a wise old man combing through his beard as he thought. “It’s quite the difficult decision to make, you know. Maybe you two should try to convince me?”
Goro squinted, considering, before walking over to his side. He threw one arm around his shoulders and leaned in to the side of his face. Akira could feel his hot breath on his cheek.
“Come now, Joker,” he said in a low voice, “you know what choice to make, don’t you?”
He was frozen in place, heart hammering in his chest. This had not been in the plan - this was supposed to be the aftermath of the plan! His situation became even worse/better when Sumire started to lean on his other side, hand on his chest, and whisper arguments for her own outfit into his other ear.
After a moment to make sure his brain wasn’t melting, and a nervous gulp, he began to speak.
“From where I’m standing, you both look amazing, so my choice for winner is gonna be,” he trailed off a bit, both for the extra drama and because the two of them were somehow leaning into him even more and it was distracting, but he rallied and continued, “Me! Because really, the true victory here is getting to see two incredibly attractive people in attractive outfits.”
Both Goro and Sumire got truly dangerous looks in their eyes, and he honestly kind of feared for his life. Before either of them could do anything, though, he pecked each of them on the lips and slipped out of their grasp.
“Joker?!”
“Senpai?!”
He rolled his eyes. “I love you two, dumbasses, let’s date.”
“All three of us?”
“Yeah, I mean, I can’t pick between you, and I’m pretty sure you guys are also into each other.”
Goro was looking away from both of them, but he still spoke up. “This is...not inaccurate.”
Sumire didn’t speak, instead just nodding so furiously her face began to look like a blurry tomato.
“So, c’mon, let’s go on a date, get some food.”
“L-like, right now?”
He shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
The both of them looked at Goro.
“...This is acceptable to me.”
Akira stage-whispered to Sumire, “That means he loves us too.”
Starting to recover from her embarrassment, she giggled, before perking up. “I saw a restaurant that sounded really good not too far from here when we were walking! Let’s go, Senpai!”
And so it was that the three of them (after purchasing their outfits) were once again walking on the streets of Sapporo, this time with Sumire leading them. She was holding Goro’s hand and pointing in the direction of the restaurant they were going to, while chattering excitedly to him about what she’d seen about it on her phone. Goro, meanwhile, was surprisingly not complaining about the physical intimacy, but instead delivering particularly incisive insults on the character of the restaurant’s reviewers, based entirely on the contents of the reviews they left. Akira was holding Goro’s other hand, and was perfectly content to watch the two people he loved as they talked, taking it all in. If one were to describe his expression, the best word would probably be lovesick.
As they walked, one thought crossed his mind: One more successful plan .