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If you asked the citizens of Mondstadt what Kaeya is to them, the answer would vary.
“Kaeya! He helps Klee make bombs, he even helps carry Klee’s bag when it gets too heavy for Klee to carry! Klee loves Kaeya so much! But Klee thinks that Kaeya is—”
“Kaeya is one of my most trusted companions. He may be irresponsible at times, but in mine and everybody else’s eyes, he’s—”
“...Kaeya? He’s untrustworthy. Full of shit. But above everything else,”
“Oh, Kaeya. Sure, I have my thoughts on that captain, if my cutie wants to know. Smart and handsome, he’s the ideal man in Mondstadt. But of course, he’s—“
“Kaeya is a difficult and convoluted person to deal with. But if I have to give you my two cents, although he doesn’t show it, I can say one thing about him...”
“Kaeya? He’s my role model! He even taught me my sword moves with patience. He always brings me to Barbara when I get injured! Oh, he’s also—”
But everyone will settle on one answer in the end.
“...the strongest.”
The weight of expectancy is not a foreign feeling for Kaeya. Rather, he’s learned to shoulder it. Whatever confidence the people of Mondstadt had in him is nothing compared to what he had been entrusted with since the day he understood his role.
Kaeya is strong. The strongest, even. Untouchable. Out of reach. But—
But when you become untouchable, you lose the ability to touch. When you’re above everybody else, you’re alone.
Kaeya is scared of being alone.
Kaeya has felt utter loneliness a total of three times in his life.
The first time was short lived. But it was also his first. It felt earth shattering. It felt devastatingly cold. It didn’t help that it was raining so much. ‘This is your chance. You are our last hope.’ These words plagued his mind in the teeth chattering cold of the night, and it haunted him even more when a pair of red eyes looked at him with pity, and big pale hands carefully guided him inside the warm manor he was left outside of.
The second time, he lost everything he ever had. The father and the brother he loved and cherished, all lost in one fell swoop. Ironically, it was like a repeat of the night his father dropped a boulder of expectation on his small back, the rain fell hard, shivering to the bone his shaky hands held his sword that clanged against a heavy greatsword. His hearing was muted, the loud sounds of heavy rain blurring his vision and he swayed in his steps. He heard Diluc yell something about fighting back, but he had no energy left. And just as he was about to let go, a disgustingly bright glow made its appearance in Kaeya’s hands, covering his blade with sharp and numbing ice. He ran away.
But this time — the third time he feels alone — he can’t run away. The strongest on paper, though he feels weak. But maybe it’s a good thing, because then he wouldn’t have to make a decision. Maybe the dim hope of Khaenri’ah will die with him.
Can he finally let go of all the burden and lies he’s sustained, or will he carry it to hell with him?
It’s raining again. And as if mocking him for his lies, it’s trickling this time. Like nobody is grieving.
Weakly, Kaeya detaches his Vision from his belt loop and stares at the dimming glow. He doesn’t have much left in him, and he knows. Kaeya scoffs hoarsely, gripping the Vision like his life depends on it. He clutches it so tight he could feel the blunt sides of the wings on it leave marks on his palms that’s sure to be painful once he releases the pressure. Right. His Vision only has two pairs of wings, doesn’t it? He’s never fit in. He has always been alone.
Perhaps that’s how it is. Even in the welcoming hands of Mondstadt, Kaeya never truly belonged. His Vision is proof he can’t ever be truly accepted. It’s a painful reminder that he’s living a life full of lies. A piece of memoir of that night — no, those nights, that will always be a part of him.
Kaeya lets go of his vice grip on the Vision, his last bit of strength giving out. Ouch, he was right. It hurt, the angry red marks on his palm. The chill of his Vision has always numbed his pains, he realizes. So why — why does it hurt so much? Has the rain grown heavier or is it only Kaeya’s imagination? The blur and lack of depth perception certainly didn’t help. Suddenly he can’t feel most of his limbs anymore. Oh, oh, oh—
Oh.