Work Text:
Error: Message could not be delivered; recipient does not exist. Please check address and resend.
To: Allison Shepard (‘Shepard’, allison.z.shepard[at]normandy.mil.sa)
Sent: 25 August 2185 15:09 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
Hey Shepard.
Don’t know if
This message originated from an Alliance military network. It has been censored at transmission source for security purposes. Any reply may be read by military authorities.
Authorization override b44f4-ac46b-29a2c acknowledged and accepted. Message has passed through secure channels unscanned and uncensored. All information present is of the opinion of the sender only and does not reflect that of the Systems Alliance in any way, shape, or form.
Error: Message could not be delivered; recipient does not exist. Please check address and resend.
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]normandy2.mil.sa)
Sent: 25 August 2185 15:12 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
Shepard,
New Normandy, new life huh? I want
Error: Message could not be delivered; domain does not exist. Please check address and resend.
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]cerberus.civ.pub)
Sent: 25 August 2185 15:14 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
Where are you
Error: Message could not be delivered; domain does not exist. Please check address and resend.
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]traitorhaven.civ.pub)
Sent: 25 August 2185 15:22 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
hey iM TRYING god damn caps lock
Error: Message could not be delivered; domain does not exist. Please check address and resend.
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]wherethe.fuck.areyou)
Sent: 25 August 2185 15:40 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
dheppar I swer to fuckin god if you cannt find her addresss ad send ths to her
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]unremarked.div.alt)
Sent: 25 August 2185 16:08 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
Access code f3d847-4bb23d-62ebad-88e3e8-12211e
Shepard this addres bettr work rightnow bcause i donow what else to try
way to drunk ut fck ill never send this if not know
kep safe
Attachments:
rehorizon.vid
One [1] new message at terminal
System origin: ▬▀▄█er▄█r▌▬▐unk▄▬█▬n
Access code confirmed
Attachments scanned, no threats discovered
Requesting access to playback rehorizon.vid
Access granted
Loading vid…
Loaded
Playing rehorizon.vid
[Kaidan is front and centre in the frame, beer bottle in hand. His other hand is twisted in his hair, unruly strands curling in half a dozen directions. The scruff on his face show he hasn’t shaved in a few days even though – based on the background – he’s on Arcturus or another similar Alliance base.
He lets out a sigh, hand moving further back in his hair.]
Shepard. It’s been-
[He pauses, looks at something to the left of the camera.]
-over forty minutes since I tried sending you mail. Turns out I have no fucking idea how to contact you now.
[He takes a drink of his beer; the bottle is already half-empty.]
You had some kind of setup back then, access codes and redirection. Last attempt before I give up. You’re a spectre in more than one meaning of the word.
[The bottle is now empty; Kaidan tosses it to the side with the sound of glass hitting glass. He leans back and picks up a new bottle, flicking the cap off in a blue corona and not noticing when it falls behind him.]
Horizon…what a fucking mess.
[He drops his hand from his hair, rubbing the corner of his eyes instead. They’re red-rimmed, noticeable bags developing underneath them. He moves his hand down again, covering his mouth.]
I had my suspicions. I had all the suspicions and…but…
[Kaidan focuses on the beer bottle, picking at the label. He gets it half-off before giving up and taking a long swig.]
Cerberus, Shepard. Fucking Cerberus. Of all – why. We both saw what experiments they did, and you’re telling me you’re with them now? What happened?
[There’s a long stretch of silence as he finishes off the second beer, tossing it in the same direction as the first. A hand goes to his forehead, massaging his temples for a moment.]
I’ve heard rumours. A lot of rumours. If what I’ve heard is true then…I guess Cerberus is the least of my worries. You throwing yourself into the Omega Four relay –
[Kaidan pauses. With no beer he instead raises a hand to his collar, running fingers around to the back of his shirt. He tugs on the fabric, pulling it up before shrugging it back down.]
I lost you once already, Shepard. It took me forever to get my head back above water after Alchera and I thought…I thought I’d processed it, worked through the grief, moved past the guilt of surviving when you sent me away.
And then you come charging towards me, a beacon of red and gold. I fell into your gravity well again and for a moment I felt…relieved. The great war hero Shepard, swooping in to save the day, only for reality to slam back into focus.
[The corners of Kaidan’s lips twitch downwards; he looks away from the camera, taking a number of slow and deep breaths. He closes his eyes and takes more breaths; when he looks back his eyes are wet and his eyebrows are turned up.]
You didn’t act like I remember, but you feel like it. Your biotics are stronger but its…your fingerprint is the same. Is that even possible to replicate? I don’t…I have to believe it is you, that you are still alive because the thought that it’s not you is worse than you not being around.
I don’t know how you ended up with Cerberus, I’m not sure I want to know. Did you offer, or does Cerberus have something they’re holding over you? I know the Alliance is doing nothing about the Collectors, about the Reapers, I know that you have no issues about finding allies where you can but…Cerberus?
[Kaidan wipes the back of his hand against his forehead; he looks around but doesn’t seem to find what he wants. He leans forward, elbow on table and fist pressed against his cheek.]
I know you’ll stop the Collectors. If you are the Shepard I know, they’ll have no chance. But Cerberus, they’re too dangerous to be trusted. I hope you’re taking precautions, leaving yourself an out.
[Kaidan laughs without mirth at that, shaking his head.]
I hope you’ve got someone who can watch your back. If not Garrus, someone you can trust. Just know that I…I’ve been mourning you for two years and that doesn’t just go away. Ilos meant a lot to me, still does. And…when things settle down, then maybe…
Look…I’ve got work in the morning. Bad idea to do this when I need to be responsible tomorrow. Just…take care, Shepard.
End of vid
Begin replay
Replay cancelled
Mail client opened
Reply to selected email
To: Kaidan Alenko (‘Kaidan’, kaidan.m.alenko[at]arcturusbase.mil.sa)
Sent: 27 August 2185 06:55 UT
Subject: RE: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
Kaidan
Good to hear from you
I’m sorry about Horizon
I promise you I’ll stay safe
I…Ilos still means a lot to me
I miss you
To: Allison Shepard (allison.z.shepard[at]unremarked.div.alt)
Sent: 25 August 2185 22:34 UT
Subject: About Horizon
Body of the mail follows:
I love you
DRAFT SAVED
MESSAGE NOT SENT