Archive of Our Own

The young couple he was serving ordered their drinks and then Cas was off again, weaving in between the tables toward the kitchen. He pushed through the swinging doors with his hip.

The restaurant, Bienveillant,  was in full swing, the dinner rush just picking up. Cas tried to lower his stress levels. He'd only been working there a month and the high energy, posh establishment was a lot different than the on campus sub shop he'd previously worked at.

He was reaching up to grab two wine glasses off a shelf when a body pressed behind him in the narrow corridor. The glasses in his hand, he turned around.

Dean.

"Sorry man. Damn tiny place with this much business."

Cas found himself only nodding, not trusting himself to speak, fearing he might make a fool of himself in front of the god before him.

Dean Winchester was a goddamn marvel. Cas assumed he was in his mid twenties, like himself. He was tall and had broad shoulders and a light smattering of golden freckles only visible if you got close. Which in the tiny kitchen, Cas often did. Dean looked better in the all black uniform of the servers than Cas thought was even imaginable. It brought out the golden green of his eyes.

"Cas? You okay?"

He was startled out of his thoughts. Dean was still standing there.

"I-I didn't know you knew my name." Cas muttered.

Dean chuckled, a happy, warm sound.

"Of course I know your name. Hard to forget a name like Castiel."

Cas felt his face getting warm. He hoped the dim light would hide any red in his cheeks.

Dean remembered him? It was a goddamn miracle he even got to work with Dean, let alone Dean knowing his name.

Cas realized he'd been standing there for too long. He had customers to attend to. And he was probably bothering Dean who was just as, probably more, busy.

"S-should.. probably get back to work.." Cas stuttered out and ran out the swinging door.

He didn't stay long enough to hear Dean mutter, "Hard to forget a face like that too."
******************************
The early evening wore on. Around 8:30,  Cas noticed a gaunt man sitting at one of the tables. One of his tables.

This wasn't any ordinary man though. This was the man who could  decide he hated the restaurant and every staff member could kiss their job goodbye.

Cas approached him, unsure whether to find a more experienced server to take his place for this customer, but he decided it would be worse to make him wait.

"Hello, welcome to Bienveillant. My name is Castiel, I'll be serving you this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink? Maybe an appetizer?"

The man looked up. His gaze was cold. His dark hair was severe against his skull and his small, dark eyes watched Castiel intently. He spoke.

"How long have you been working here?"

Castiel took a breath. He was much too under-qualified to be serving such a man.

"About a month sir."

The man nodded, seeming content.

"Surprise me. I want wine and an appetizer."

Cas nodded and walked back to the kitchen, eager to find the manager, the head chef, anyone.

As he went through the swinging door he nearly ran headfirst into Dean who was reaching up for some plates. He turned to Cas and frowned, setting his plates down and putting his hands on Cas's shoulders. The other man could hardly breathe as it was and he felt close to passing out now. He was so close to Dean, squished in the small hallway leading to the kitchen, he could feel Dean's body heat radiating off of him.

"Cas? You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Cas could barely speak.

"Mortem" He whispered.

Dean looked confused for a moment, then his eyes widened.

"Mortem? As in Azrael Mortem? As in the world famous restaurant critic? Here? Now?"

Cas nodded, "He said to surprise him. Wine and appetizer."

Dean ran a hand through his short hair. Cas found himself briefly wishing he could do that, but he pushed that out of his head. He didn't have time for his fascination with Dean.

"Shit." Dean muttered, "Bobby left for the night. Same with Garth. Left me in charge. And like most of the staff left too. We stop getting a lot of business after 8:30."

So they were down a manager, a head chef, and most of the other staff and cooks.

Shit indeed.

Dean disappeared briefly before coming back and shoving a bottle of wine and a glass onto a tray and handing it to Cas.

"We got this. I'll get everyone in here and get that appetizer started. Walk briskly but not too fast. Head up, shoulders back."

Dean put one hand on Cas's shoulders, the other on the small of his back. Cas straightened up but immediately regretted it because then Dean's hands were gone. He came close. Too close. Cas could have moved forward barely and kissed him. But he didn't. Dean looked directly into his eyes.

"You got this Cas. I believe in you. Don't stress out. You're good out there. I've watched you. Go."

And Cas was out the door, trying not to think about the smell of Dean or the color of his eyes or the fact that he just admitted he'd watched Cas. That probably didn't mean much to Dean. But to Cas...

He reached Mortem's table and set the wine and glass down. The man gave no visible reaction to Cas.

"Your appetizer will be out momentarily. In the meantime, are you ready to order your meal?"

The man shut his menu and looked up at Cas. He looked him up and down. Cas was suddenly glad he'd made an effort to work at remembering orders as opposed to writing them down.

Mortem folded his hands primly.

"What is your favorite?"

Cas was taken aback for a moment before he spoke.

"I really enjoy the Pesto Chicken Pasta. It's a traditionally a simple dish but our cooks do an amazing job with it."

Mortem nodded. "I'll have that then."
********************
The terrifying ordeal went on for the next hour with almost no mistakes, considering they had only the college kids who had no families and we're willing to work late and the newbies who were desperate to get as much experience as they could on hand. But their glue was Dean. He was by far the most experienced and Cas had never seen the funny, carefree man so serious. It was kind of hot, in all honesty.

Finally, Mortem left and the second the door closed, you could practically feel the entire building let out a tense breath. He'd been their last customer and Dean told everyone to get on home.

Cas was walking around the cramped kitchen trying to shake off the stress of the entire evening. He was still shaking. He was so caught up in wondering if he screwed everything up that he didn't notice another person entering.

"Cas?"

Cas whirled around to see Dean standing there.

Goddamnit. Even when he looked exhausted, he looked gorgeous.

"I know what you're doing."

Cas stopped his pacing. Did Dean know about Cas's secret attraction? He hadn't told any of the staff.. was he that obvious?

"You..you do?" He asked.

Dean chuckled. Great, Cas thought, now he's laughing at me. He probably thinks you're a stupid little boy with a crush. He probably thinks your a weirdo.

"Yeah, buddy, you're psyching yourself out. You did awesome tonight. Really. I was watching you. For a rookie, you're something. Mortem should be impressed."

Wait.. what?

Cas sighed audibly. Dean didn't suspect.

"What? I'm just a newbie Dean. You should have gotten to serve him."

Dean stepped forward.

"No .. Cas you were great. I've been in the business a while. You're better than some guys who've been serving for years. I'm giving you a compliment. It's usually polite to accept it."

Cas would have taken Dean's words harshly, but he looked up to see Dean grinning. He was teasing. Wasn't teasing a form of flirting? Cas tried to pull his thoughts away from that. Dean didn't like him and he shouldn't get his hopes up.

"Besides," Dean went on, "he must have been captivated by your eyes too much to think too badly of you."

Cas choked. "My eyes?"

Dean smiled, wiping down a counter. "Yeah man. I mean I've been so why wouldn't he have been? You'd have to be blind to dislike you."

Was Dean flirting with him? Cas was admittedly antisocial and his people skills were pretty rusty most of the time but he was pretty sure this was flirting. Oh jesus, Dean was flirting with him. Oh god.

Dean didn't say anything more and the two of them went on cleaning up the kitchen, staying on opposite sides. Eventually, there was no more work to be done and Cas grabbed his coat and headed towards the food. He and Dean seemed to be the only ones left. When he made his way out into the main part of the restaurant, all the lights had been turned off. The room was still slightly illuminated by the lights of the city out the wide windows in front.

"Cas, wait!"

Dean came sprinting through the door and into the dark room.

"Wait..." He said, panting, "you walking home?"

Cas smiled, hoping the dark would conceal his grin. He couldn't believe that this night had even been real.

"Yes Dean. Are you?"

Dean nodded, the dim light catching his eyes, "Well I can't let you walk home all alone."

Cas smiled again and headed out, Dean next to him. The fall air was cold, but not freezing yet. Cas took a deep breath, enjoying it.

"How old are you, Cas?" Dean asked.

"22. What about you?"

Cas could have sworn that Dean moved closer to him.

"Just turned 26."

26? That made Dean four years older than Cas. That meant Dean probably thought he was just a silly kid. A little boy who he should shower with compliments to make him feel better. Dean was kind hearted.

"Did you grow up in the city?" Cas glanced at Dean, who looked interested. Dean Winchester was a confusing man. He was much to kind for his own good.

"Yes. It's the only home I know." Cas responded. Dean's shoulder bumped his own. Surely they were that close, were they? But Cas could smell the intoxicating scent coming off Dean. He smelled like heaven.

"That's awesome. Sammy and I grew up in Kansas but I couldn't wait to get out. When I turned 18, Bobby offered me a job out here and I guess the rest is history."

Cas knew Sam. Everyone who knew Dean knew Sam. Dean's affection for his younger brother was infectious. The younger Winchester bartended a few days a week at the restaurant and from what Cas had heard, Sam was about as great as Dean made him out to be.

"Why were you so eager to leave Kansas?"

As soon as Cas said it, he regretted it.

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me to ask."

Dean laughed, a nervous sounding laugh though, "No it's fine. It's just that it was so stifling, you know? We lived in this tiny town and people weren't  very accepting. When I came out, I lost a lot of friends. Got kicked off the soccer team. It was bad."

"You're gay?" Cas blurted. He put his hands over his mouth. Oh god. He tried apologizing but Dean waved him off.

"It's fine Cas really. And yeah.... You don't have a problem with that.. right?"

Cas spoke quickly, hoping to confirm that he totally did NOT have a problem with that. At all.

"Nonono! I don't... I'm gay too." He felt stupid again.

"Damn you and making me not think straight." Cas muttered. He hoped Dean didn't hear him but the he heard him laugh. A full, happy laugh. It was beautiful. Cas decided to go along with Dean's maybe-flirting from earlier.

"Literally." He said. Dean laughed again but this time it was more careful.  He stopped. Cas looked around. He realized that they'd completely passed his apartment. They were in front of some other apartment building now, much nicer than his.

"This is my place..." Dean trailed off. He ran his hand through his hair and Cas felt a surge of courage and reached up. He ran his hand through the soft, dark gold fluff. It was as soft as he'd imagined.

Dean looked at Cas. He had a small smile on his face, but he looked kind of shocked. Cas prayed that he didn't fuck everything up.

"Would you like to.. come up for a drink or something?"

Definitely or something, Cas thought. But he just nodded.
**************************
Dean's apartment was nice. It had big windows and white and exposed brick walls and hardwood floors. It looked loved and lived in.

"Sam and I share an apartment.. He's at his girlfriend's place though." Dean explained as they were walking in.

They were now in the kitchen, with Cas sitting on the counter while Dean searched. Eventually, he set two empty coffee mugs down next to Cas.

"As it turns out, my asshole little brother poured out all my booze so we have coffee and tea."

Cas laughed, feeling much more at ease than he had when he first walked in.

"Tea please."

Dean quirked his mouth and set off on making tea. A few minutes later, a steaming mug was placed in front of Cas. It smelled almost as good as Dean.

That particular gentleman hopped up on the small counter next to Cas at that moment. They were so close, hips touching. Cas took a few sips of his tea but he was too distracted by the man sitting next to him.

Had Dean invited him in with the intention of... further things?

Or was this just some tea as friends?

Friends was a lot more than he ever thought he was going to get with Dean so he tried not to be disappointed but he was so goddamn beautiful and kind and funny and hardworking.

Dean hopped down from the counter and walked the the far end of the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. He turned around, put his cup in the sink and came up to Cas. Close. Too close for just friends.

"Cas. How do you feel about four years?" His voice was deeper and his eyes dark.

Cas couldn't breathe. But somehow his brain formed an answer.

"Four years? Four years are nothing."

And then Dean leaned in and kissed Cas. It was short. Chaste. But it was the hottest kiss of Cas's entire life. Dean reached his arms around Cas's neck and looked up and him. Cas's arms snaked around Dean's neck as well.

"I've watched you since your first day. Goddamn. You're something Castiel. I thought I was gonna lose my job because I was so distracted. Distracted by you. This blue eyed, deep voiced student. A rookie. But goddamn you captivated me." Dean leaned forward again, resting his forehead against Cas's own.

Cas leaned into the touch, savoring the moment. He breathed slowly, afraid that it was a dream and one wrong move would have him waking up. Dean was captivated. By him. He was a entranced by Cas as Cas was with Dean.

"Me too. I mean.. I always thought you just thought I was some stupid newbie. I couldn't imagine you... You're so beautiful and.. confident.. and everything I'm not."

Dean put a finger over Cas's mouth, shushing him.

"Cas. You are... I don't even know how to explain. I don't let myself get attached to people. Especially from work. You learn that much after being in the business as long as I have. But you're different. I knew that when I first saw you. You're different and I choose you."

The kitchen was gone. The world was gone. The only things in Cas's universe were him and Dean.

"I choose you too." He whispered, not finding the strength to speak up.

Dean leaned in again and his lips found Cas's. He kissed him slowly, passionately. Dean's lips were soft and warm. He leaned back again and looked at Cas up and down. This time it was Cas who grabbed the back of Dean's neck and pulled him down, eager for more of the intoxicating feeling of Dean's mouth fitting into his.

Cas kissed the older man hungrily. Dean reciprocated eagerly. He licked at the seam of Cas's mouth and Cas let him in, their tongues exploring each other's mouths heatedly.

Dean ran his hands down Cas's back who buried his hands in the short hair at the back of Dean's head. Laughter bubbled out of Cas's mouth when Dean's hands reached his ass and squeezed.

Dean pulled back to look at Cas. "You laughing at me Novak?"

Cas nodded and trapped Dean's mouth impatiently with his. He could feel Dean smiling against his lips. His hands reached down Cas's sides and pulled gently towards him, urging Cas off the counter.

Cas hopped down and suddenly he was very very close to Dean. Millimeters between them, Dean grabbed Cas's hips and pulled him close to him. He wrapped his arms around the boy who looked down shyly. Dean lifted his chin with his fingers.

"Hey, don't go disappearing on me. I want this as much as you do. Maybe more."

Cas looked up at him and felt his confidence returning slightly. He leaned in and kissed the corner of Dean's mouth. Dean grinned. He turned slightly, leaving his neck bared to Cas. He took the opportunity and kissed the smooth skin. Dean sighed, surprised.

Cas, feeling a surge of confidence, spun them around and shoved Dean against the counter. He leaned in, whispering in Dean's ear.

"I've never wanted anything more." His voice was surprisingly gravelly.

Seeing Dean's awestruck expression, he decided to keep doing what felt right. He bit Dean's earlobe gently and dragged his mouth down his neck, kissing sloppily. He stopped at his pulse point, sucking. Dean groaned and Cas pulled back, grinning.

Dean grinned back and kissed Cas, deeply. But then Cas pulled back abruptly. Dean looked at him, wondering what he did wrong. But Cas just smiled softly and laid his head on Dean's shoulder and squeezed him tightly against himself. Dean was relieved, Cas was okay. It seemed odd, how much he cared for the younger man. That day had been the first real conversation they'd had, for god's sake. But that was just it. Cas was different. From the first time Dean had seen him, he had known that. That kid shone brighter than anyone. He was so filled with eagerness and curiosity, but he wasn't naive. He seemed sharp. 

They fit, it seemed. What better to accompany Cas's sharpness than Dean's hardened view of life. He'd seen a lot and maybe he needed someone strong enough not to break, but also unafraid.

Dean was 26 years old and he felt so tired. He was worn and felt old. Maybe he just needed someone sharp enough to withstand life. He was tired of one night fucks and little twinks who ran away at the first mention of real life.

He needed someone who would stay. 

*******************************

Cas stayed the night.

And he was still there in the morning.

And every morning after that.

And when Dean woke up one morning two weeks later, Cas was sitting next to him reading something on his laptop. He had a hand over his mouth and his eyes were shining. Dean glanced over to see the what was making him so emotional. He only caught the first three lines before mimicing Cas's expression.

Bienveillant

Azrael Mortem

5/5 Stars

******************************

Three Years Later

February 14

"Leech got you Winchester?" Benny yelled across the kitchen. 

Dean grinned and buttoned the top buttons on his shirt, covering the purple marks on his collarbone. 

"You're just bitter because you can't get any, Benny." Dean said, checking through the kitchen, making sure everything was ready before they opened. It had been hard, taking over the restaurant after Bobby retired, but Dean did it happily. He'd dreamed about owning his own place, and it was as good as he'd imagined. He loved seeing happy customers eating good food.

There also was another plus to not having to wait tables all the time anymore. 

He could watch Cas work. He loved how focused he got and how he would work so hard to get things done well, efficiently. It gave his face a joyful seriousness that was.. well to admit.. kind of hot.

There were already people waiting outside by the time Dean opened the doors for the lunch crowd. They had gotten surprisingly popular in the past couple of months and they had been expecting a busy day considering it was Valentine's Day. Dean was shaking from excitement, but for a different reason.

The day went by with relatively few disasters and Cas was a goddamn god, saving a few rookies' asses more than once. He was much more benevolent than Dean, who might have thrown them out of his restaurant.

The night dragged on. Finally, the last customers had left and Dean started cleaning up the small restaurant. 

"Bye brother, see you on Monday. Good luck." Benny patted Dean's shoulder in the empty kitchen. He walked out but not before throwing Dean a wink and a thumbs up. 

Not even five seconds after Benny walked out, Cas came in through the back of the kitchen and walked up behind Dean, wrapping his arms around him. Dean smiled as he felt Cas trailing kisses down his neck. He shivered, and hope it covered the fact that he was shaking.

"Where are the cleaners? Shouldn't they be here?" Cas mumbled against his neck.

Dean turned around, "They're coming later. I wanted to be here for a bit."

Cas looked confused, "You want to stay at work? I know you love it here but c'mon babe you've worked hard enough."

Dean grabbed the bottle of champagne and two glasses he had sitting out.

"Well.. Since it's Valentine's Day and this place is where we met... I thought we might celebrate."

Cas glared at Dean but he saw the slight smiled forming on his lips. He hit his arm lightly, but followed Dean as he walked toward the kitchen door.

"I thought we weren't doing anything for Valentine's Day since we both had to work! Dean.. I didn't get you anythi-" But Cas stopped when Dean opened the door into the dining area. 

Dean had asked Benny to set up strings of little lights all around the room before he left.  The darkness in the room was offset by the soft light from the strands. Cas loved Christmas lights. There were strings of white lights all around the interior of their apartment. 

Dean turned to Cas, looking at the man he loved so much. The man who had softened his rough edges and loved him despite them.

"Cas, you've given me everything. If you asked me three years ago if I was happy, if I answered honestly, I would have said no. You changed that. You gave me hope. At first, you were the only reason I got up in the morning, but you. Oh god I loved you so muchh I forgot what hating myself felt like. You've taught me to love myself which I've never been able to do for my entire life. I love you so much angel."

Cas was smiling like an idiot and he kissed Dean, chastely, but passionately. 

"I love you too Dean."

Dean grabbed the bottle and poured each of them some. He handed Cas a glass.

"Here's to us. Happy Valentine's Day Castiel."

Cas clinked his glass against Dean's and drank. 

They talked contentedly for a few minutes, happily drinking, but there was a fire burning a hole through Dean's pocket.

Cas turned around to set his glass down on a table and Dean decided to do it. He got down on one knee and held pulled out the little box.

"Hey so- Oh my god Dean."

Cas had his hands over his mouth, much like the morning a million years ago when they read Mortem's review together.

"Cas. You know I hate chick flick moments and this is probably the most cliche thing I've ever done, but hey, you're worth cheesy chick flicks because I know you love them." Cas gave a short, breathy laugh that sounded more like a gasp.

"You are my love. I remember that one night three years ago, when you first came to my apartment. I remember thinking how easily we worked. It felt like I'd done it before. You were familar. I thought, this guy seems smart and curious and beautiful and witty and just sharp.  And I remember being scared of people running away when they saw my rough edges. But you were strong enough and no we're strong enough. I never really felt at home when I was home, you know? Kansas was never my home. But the city felt too crowded but too empty at the same time. But I think I've finally figured it out. Home is when I'm with you. You are my home. We could go anywhere and I would feel welcome as long as I was in your arms. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm coming home. Forever, if you'll let me."

Cas was crying by now and Dean was almost. He came in that night having no idea what he was going to say and that had all just kind of spilled out. Every word was true though.

"Cas, will you marry me?"

"It's not even a question Dean. Come home. Stay home. Yes. Yes yes yes." Cas threw his arms around Dean and pressed his mouth to his own, over and over again.

"Dean Winchester. I love you. So much."

Dean smiled and held Cas against himself. It was worth it, he decided. All the pain and torment of coming out and being run out of town because of who he loved, was worth it if it meant he could hold this beautiful man in his arms forever and call him his.

"I drifted for a while. I couldn't find my way. But then I found you."