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When Neil first packed up Billy’s things and moved them out to bumfuck nowhere, the thing that unsettled Billy the most was surely the expansive woods that sprawled out around the town. There were even some patches within the town, small wooded areas that the city council preserved as green space, as if the thick greenery wasn’t enough to ward off anyone who even thought about moving into the area. The moment that the wheels of his precious Camaro rolled into town, he made a mental rule.
Rule #1: Stay away from the woods.
It wasn’t that the woods weren’t pretty or were run down in any way; they were full of life and dense with vegetation. Even in the winter with a thick layer of snow on the ground, rabbits and small foxes could be seen going in and out of the woods. No, there was liveliness to spare in those woods, it was the fact that Billy couldn’t quite see through to anything but more trees and grass. It was the fact that Billy wasn’t entirely sure what was in those woods, waiting oh so silently to strike and harm him.
Attending the high school there was… well, it was shit . That was putting it lightly. It only took him a day and a half to figure out each little social group and act accordingly. He did this every time he moved schools; identified who acted in what way, who he should stay around and who he should avoid. The glamour of a sparkling California boy in such a small and… un -diverse school drew everyone to him. He played into it; flashed some smiles, flirted with girls. That’s where his second, and most important, rule came in.
Rule #2: Change yourself to fit in with those who have power.
He didn’t completely change himself when he moved; no, that was too difficult for him. The added side effect of guilt did play into it, especially since he already carried a bit too much guilt for his liking. No, what he did was change the dials on parts of himself. Coming from a rough school in California, he was already loud and smooth, but tended to incline to violence much quicker because more people out west were willing to fight. In his own words, people in Hawkins were ‘too damn scared’ to fight him, so all he had to do was raise his voice and change his stature to make his point known and no one thought to stand up to him.
And thus, his character was made. He was the pretty playboy, the loud and excitable lion that prowled the halls with the basketball team. His laugh was obnoxious and contagious all at once, and he just lit up any room that he entered. He was the life of the party, the boy the girls dreamed of, the cream of the crop.
The group that sought him out the most was the basketball team, but mainly a bouncy little guy named Tommy. He was cute, Billy would give him that- freckled little cheeks, fluffy hair, puppy dog eyes. Didn’t seem like the ‘sports team’ kind of guy. Billy would have definitely gone after him if it wasn’t the middle of the midwest, the least safe place for a guy like Billy.
The other guy, some guy named Steve, seemed to be falling out of the social circle he was in. From what Billy had gathered, Steve had once been the king of this school. He seemed to be hanging on by a thread, and even then, he seemed to care less about his social life and basketball team and more about actual academics- a product of his thing with that Wheeler girl, Billy had been told. That being said, it wasn’t hard at all for him to slide right into the position of king. It was surprisingly easy, and Billy loved all of the attention.
What is easy, however, always comes with a price.
---
It was Halloween night, and Billy was supposed to be watching his step-sister Max. He knew that she didn’t want him there, and frankly, he would much rather be at that party that Tina was throwing. Instead of staying with her in his shiny, freshly cleaned Camaro, he buzzed off in said car to the party to get himself properly drunk.
Tommy was the one to greet him at the door, a sort-of-cute grin nestled between his soft speckled cheeks. In that moment, Billy kind of wondered how this marshmallow of a guy ever made it to the top of the food chain here.
Then he remembered his dad bought him a Beemer or some other expensive import for his sixteenth birthday… and he wrecked it in a month… of course .
Tommy just grinned at him and raised his bottle of beer like a beacon to the other party-goers. “Hell yeah, Hargrove’s here!” His cheer began a series of hoots and hollers from the rest of the drunken teenagers, and he stepped aside to let the young man pass.
Billy sauntered in with his tiger grin and his arms spread wide, pumping one fist in the air and earning one big whoop from the sea of people in return. He nodded and flicked his curls back with a flick of his head, coasting through the crowd like a lion on the prowl for a new victim, some girl to schmooze up and dump for the night.
Has Billy ever fucked? Absolutely, and he’d say he’s pretty good. Has he fucked any girls since that little thing with Matt out in Cali? Only twice in an effort to change himself. He figured, at first, that it was like his anger or his snark- a dial he could turn up or down, but no. Nothing changed. No set of tits could compare to the touch of a man, not for him.
And fuck , now he was thinking too much about it. Billy tried to hide all that mess down inside of himself, tried to lock it away and never think about it, but it was hard.
What’s easier was to grab a bottle of beer, chug it, then go out back and do a keg stand since someone had mentioned bringing a keg to the party. Getting drunk tended to push all those thoughts back, to tuck them away in the darkest corners of his mind and focus on the now.
The night began to blur in Billy’s senses, but that was a good sign to him. He relaxed, cheered, and let everyone soak in his presence. He was the one that got the party going, that got everyone dancing and drinking and sticky with sweat. Tommy tugged on his arm and pulled him outside, telling him, “if you do a keg stand longer than Harrington’s, you’ll be the new king here. It’ll be so fucking awesome!”
Billy took that as a challenge and laughed. “Of course I can. Where’s the keg?”
Not even five minutes later, they helped him off of the keg and he spat some of the beer out, cheering as Tommy declared his victory. He’d walked through to the house like it was some kind of parade. Everyone was cheering, patting his shoulder, and fueling his ego. Tommy guided him through the crowd and in a few moments, he was face to face with Steve Harrington.
Now, before this, Billy had never had a full solid interaction with Steve. He’d spoken a few words to the boy during basketball practice, but other than that? No, there was nothing too noteworthy between them. But this moment, this split second when Steve pulled his glasses off and stared Billy down, when he looked Billy up and down with those dark eyes and that cocky, over-it look; This was what started the snowball. Billy felt the spark of something in his chest, a sudden surge of energy that jittered back and forth through his veins.
“You beat my record?” Steve said, not even noticing that that little Wheeler girl had walked off. His voice was slightly monotonous, and one thick eyebrow cocked above his eyes in disbelief.
Billy grinned. “Hell yeah I did,” he crossed his arms and shifted on his feet. “Your record was only thirty seconds. I fucking crushed it.”
Steve rolled his eyes. He didn’t seem to care, if Billy was honest, and it was kind of… strange . If Steve had been the king, why didn’t he care if Billy was taking over? Why didn’t he fight or push back or something ?
More importantly, why did Billy care that Steve was making this so easy? He shouldn’t want it, no, it was so much easier to fit in when everyone loved you and looked up to you. Why did Billy want Steve to fight back against him, even though he loved being the king?
He brushed that off and shook his head. “Sucks being a pussy, I guess,” Billy spat at him and sauntered off to enjoy the rest of the party.
---
It was well past midnight, probably one in the morning. Billy shouldn’t have driven anywhere; he was too drunk to think coherently, too loose to get a grip on reality. He shouldn’t have driven, and yet when the party began to wind down and only people too drunk to wake up remained, Billy took his leave. He’d hopped into his car, started it up, and drove off to some clearing by a quarry that people told him about. The ground was rough and barren, and the woods surrounding the area gave him good cover for what he was about to do.
He put the car in park and cracked his windows a bit, letting the cool breeze of autumn flow over him like mist from a sprinkler in your backyard. He reclined his seat a bit and undid his belt, opening up his jeans and letting his cock spring free.
“Fuck…” Billy groaned and reached into his glove box, grabbing a small tube of lube he kept just for instances like this. He never trusted himself to do this at home, not with Neil, so sneaking around to do it in secluded areas was always his best option.
The main reason for his secrecy around his own pleasure was just what had happened earlier that night. The way that Steve had looked at him, had sized him up like… like Steve still had that cockiness, that fire. That one look was enough for Billy to take it and run with it, imagining Steve on top of him, bare chests pressed together with those dark eyes sizing him up.
Billy closed his eyes and imagined it was Steve jerking him off so fucking right . He could practically feel the other male pressed against him, feel the hot breath down his neck, feel one of those beautiful fucking hands getting into his pants and fingering him open-
“ Steve !” Billy cried out, arching his back off of his seat as he came into his hand. He shuddered in his seat for a moment before he heard something that could quite literally end his life.
He heard Tommy laughing and some sort of switch.
---
The following Monday was more tense than Billy was willing to admit. He only had one class with Tommy, and it was at the end of the day. After being caught like that out at the quarry, he really didn’t want to show his face back at school again. The dark corners of his mind told him that everyone knew, that Tommy told Carol and Carol told Tina and Tina told fucking everyone . He was so scared; the fear compared only to the time Neil caught him and Matt under the boardwalk.
But no one seemed to know; they still treated him normally, the girls still rubbed up on him in attempts to get in his pants, the boys still cheered when he walked in the room. Billy, in turn, did his best to act normal. He grinned like a tiger, snarled like a bear, roared like a lion. He was the predator that the safari loved to watch from afar, the beautiful and dangerous specimen that no one could get close to without walking away with a nasty scar.
The end of the day came sooner than expected, and Billy’s demeanor changed just a bit. He tried to act as he had the rest of the day- confident, snarky, loud- but the fear became too much. He closed himself off, began scowling and went silent as he walked into the room and headed to his seat in the back of the classroom. Of course the class he enjoyed the most, English, had to have Tommy in it.
Tommy walked in and immediately headed to the back of the room, sitting down beside Billy with an annoying little smirk. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, even though Billy hadn’t even looked at him yet.
“So…” Tommy began, “how do you think we should resolve the little issue we’ve got?” He looked over at Billy, keeping his voice down. “I know who you really are now… I think I can do something with that.”
“Talk to me after class about it,” Billy growled as he pulled out his notebook and the book they were assigned to read and write a paper on. “I’m not talking about this in class.”
Tommy hummed and shrugged. “Suit yourself, fairy boy.” He faced ahead again, not even bothering to get anything out.
That was a big difference between Billy and Tommy. While Tommy only seemed to care about status, about material goods, Billy knew he had to balance his status with schoolwork. He did want to go to college, believe it or not. He was a brilliant boy and did very well in his classes, even while being able to go to parties and get drunk to cope with his bullshit at home.
The class passed like spoiled molasses; just sitting beside Tommy made Billy feel tense. It was clear that his mood was affected the entire class as he was completely silent up until the bell rang.
The shrill noise filled his ears and dread snaked around his limbs, sinking its fangs into his veins to poison his nervous system. Billy rose to his feet and grabbed his bag, making his way out of the room while making sure Tommy was following him. He pushed past the sea of people, unknowingly shoving Steve to the side on his way. There was an abandoned hallway in the back of the school where people typically went to make out. It was private and none of the teachers ever bothered to check there between classes.
Once Billy was sure they were alone, he crossed his arms and glared at Tommy. “Alright, the fuck did you want to say? Make it quick, I gotta go pick up my sister.”
Tommy laughed and grinned, the expression holding a strange confidence Tommy never usually had. “You’re gonna be my bitch, Hargrove.”
Billy stared at him for a couple moments in disbelief, before letting out one bark of a laugh. “Me? Me ? You’re kidding, right? You couldn’t hurt a fly!”
Tommy’s expression became deathly serious, the smile dropping into a scowl. “I don’t need strength over you. I’ve got something better.” He tipped his head back and looked straight into his eyes. “I’ve got that video. I have real proof of you getting all faggy for Harrington. Imagine if I called all the guys from the team over and showed it to them, then to Carol, and Tina, and everyone else.”
Billy was frozen, staring at him in shock as his brain attempted to process the statement.
“You want that, Hargrove? You want everyone here to know you’re a fucking queer?” Tommy spat the words at him, his lips twisting into a smile. “Or do you wanna be my bitch the rest of the year and save your sorry ass? It’s your choice.”
The words slowly sunk into Billy. Either he lets Tommy show everyone the video he got on that new camera he bought, or he does whatever Tommy says until graduation. His whole body suddenly felt heavier and his shoulders sagged a bit. This town was so small, he thought, that Neil was bound to find out eventually if that rumor got started. Even if he didn’t see the video, talk of Billy being gay was enough for Neil to do some bad shit, and Billy wasn’t setting himself up for that. Here came another one of his rules, a much more important rule than any of the others.
Rule #3: Do not let anyone know you’re gay, under any circumstances.
“A… alright…”
---
Being Tommy’s bitch wasn’t that bad. Most of it was doing his homework, and Billy was a rather smart young man, so it was easier than he thought it was going to be. There were a few small issues that arose, most being simple time constraints. Since he had to do twice the work, he had very little time to himself after school, much less than what he was used to. Once he was done each night, he had just enough time to shower and get into bed for the next day.
After a week or two, he and Tommy fell into a routine. They would arrive at school, meet behind the building where no one went, and Tommy would degrade Billy and retrieve his homework before they each went to their separate classes. Throughout the day, Tommy would make offhand comments poking a bit of fun at Billy- “He’s not all there upstairs,” when Billy spaced out, “Big tough guy’s probably mush under there. What ya hiding, Hargrove? ”
Throughout the day these comments aggravated Billy further and further, and when Tommy met him after basketball practice, Billy would retaliate in some way. Something to the effect of, “I can still beat your ass, Hagan. Quit being cocky,” and every time, Tommy would just spew more insults. The past few days, the words had carried more and more venom.
As degrading and humiliating as this was, it was only beginning.
It was a Friday. Basketball practice had just finished and everyone was supposed to be going to their cars, but of course, Billy was behind the school, pinned up to the wall by Tommy. Well- he wasn’t physically pinned, but he knew that trying to get away would result in something far worse than a beating.
“Alright, fairy boy, here’s your shit for tonight.” Tommy gave him the homework, earning a glare from Billy.
“What if I said no?” Billy growled. “I could snap you in half, Hagan, you don’t scare me-”
Tommy slapped him.
Tommy fucking slapped him.
Billy stood there in shock, mouth agape as he tried to comprehend what just happened. It was a hard slap, too- nothing to gawk at, but it stung. Made all of Billy’s nerves light on fire in the worst way. “What the hell-”
“Shut the fuck up, fag,” Tommy spat at him. “You want me to tell everyone? Want me to bring all the guys over and show them that? You think they’ll let a queer stay on the team? If you weren’t trying so hard to hide, you’d probably try to fuck all the guys at once.”
Billy didn’t even know how to respond, pressing himself back against the brick in a desperate attempt to escape.
Tommy smirked. “Look at that, the great Billy Hargrove’s gone soft .” He slammed him in his chest, and took a step back. “Get out of my sight. I stay around you any longer and I might turn gay myself.”
All Billy could do was step away and hurry around the corner, relieved that he could get away from Tommy. He was so relieved, so elated, that he didn’t even notice the fact that there was someone standing at their locker just a few meters down the hall- right within earshot. Billy leaned against one of the lockers, closing his eyes and shuddering as he let all the tension leave his body. He needed a break- just a few moments where he didn’t fear anything around him-
Then he heard the squeaking of sneakers. He looked over and saw someone peeking around the corner. Steve. His dark brows were pulled together, big doe eyes staring at the blonde as they tried to figure out what he just witnessed.
The brunette disappeared before Billy could yell at him.
---
The days were getting colder, and Billy was not equipped for it. The heaviest jacket he owned was a brown leather jacket that paired well with that red shirt he loved. It kept him pretty warm, but even as he cozied up in it on an early November morning before school, he knew that it wouldn’t be warm enough for long.
It was the following Monday, just a few days after the little incident with Tommy, and Billy dreaded having to go to school again. For the most part, they didn’t interact outside of school, meaning Billy had a whole weekend away from him. Two whole days where he could breathe and relax. He tried to cherish the remaining moments of the weekend before the first bell of the day rang, his body still loose and calm as he just breathed in the safety of his car.
He noticed Tommy across the lot and every muscle in his body stiffened up, knowing he had to deal with him. The blonde stepped out of his car and jolted a bit- he hadn’t noticed someone park next to him, but here he was, face to face with Steve.
The smell of hairspray and cologne wafted into his senses; it wasn’t a bad cologne, it was mild, like a meadow or fresh lilacs. It wasn’t overly masculine, but it wasn’t like it was the intoxicating scent of roses and fancy champagne. It was nice. The other male’s hair looked perfect- hence the scent of hairspray- and Billy wanted so badly to run his fingers through it, to just feel it in his fingers. His skin looked wonderful- perfect and clear and soft , Billy couldn’t help the thoughts of how it would feel to hold him, to kiss each mole and to feel their bodies pressed together.
“Hey Harrington,” Billy said with his cocky attitude and stuck up little smirk. “Surprised me. You need somethin’?”
It was now that he noticed the look of frustrated concern on Steve’s face, the way his dark brows pulled together in the middle to twist the features of his face. “What’s going on with you?” He said, his hands resting on his hips. “You’ve been acting… weird.”
Billy furrowed his brows and scoffed. “Why the hell would you care?” His first instinct kicked in to push him away, to ignore the fact that Steve may want to help. “You’re not my friend. You don’t even talk to me outside of basketball practice. You’re nothing to me, Harrington. You’re just my predecessor. You were the king, and now that title went to me. Learn your place and move on .”
Steve glared at him. “I’m trying to be nice to you, Hargrove. Maybe I-” He stopped himself, like he was about to say something he shouldn’t. He seemed to recollect his thoughts and calm himself down. “Maybe I just like being a good person.”
Billy just let out a huff, sort of like a raging bull being pulled back by a leash, then stormed off, his schoolbag in hand as he headed towards Tommy and handed over the homework he did over the weekend. A shiver went down his spine and he turned around, seeing Steve still standing across the parking lot, just staring at the interaction going down between the two. Billy furrowed his brows and glared, watching Steve turn and walk away.
Something was up.
---
Part of Billy was surprised that Tommy made small bits of physical abuse part of their little meetings, and part of him wasn’t surprised at all. It was Tommy, the walking marshmallow. If he had something that could put him physically in charge, why wouldn’t he take it?
Billy handled this new development the same way he handled his situation with Neil; violently. He got more aggressive- pushing past people in the hallways, yelling and threatening anyone who dared cross his path in an unsavory manner. He became especially aggressive in basketball practice; Steve was there, and in his mind’s eye, Steve was the source of Billy’s current problem. If Billy hadn’t gotten attracted to Steve, then none of this would have happened.
One thing that Billy didn’t like to admit about himself was that he tended to take things a little too far. A prime example of that was a Wednesday basketball practice in the middle of November.
For the past two weeks or so, Tommy’d been getting more and more physically violent in their time alone. Billy knew better than to retaliate thanks to Neil, which just let Tommy’s behavior spiral. It started with slaps, but over time Tommy began shoving him against the walls, gripping his arms too hard; one time he even pressed his forearm to Billy’s throat to mildly choke him and give him a shock. So, as one would expect, Billy got aggressive as well.
He pushed people around constantly in basketball, especially Steve. In every practice, Billy pushed him to the ground to score a basket multiple times, to the point where he began noticing light bruises up Steve’s sides in the showers. The sight nagged at Billy’s heart, at the empathy he kept buried deep down in his soul. He wanted to stop, and every time he went to make a harsh pass, he hesitated- his mind slowed, do I want to keep doing this?- he didn’t, but that didn’t stop him. He didn’t want to do a lot of things, but the burning rage inside of him ruled supreme. Billy was gay, and pretty boys like Steve made him that way.
This Wednesday, Billy had been trying to hold himself back; maybe if he ignored his anger, it would go away. So, by the time practice was winding down to the last twenty, twenty-five minutes, he was wound up too tight and itching to hurt someone.
Steve had been mouthing off to him; subtle and snarky remarks were made under the brunette’s breath as they played a mock game, and if the squeaks of their sneakers were any louder, Billy wouldn’t have caught it. But Billy caught it, a few disgruntled comments here and there.
The comment that set him off was a little louder; “Jesus, pay any more attention to me and I’d think you were some kid pulling my pigtails.”
That was it. Billy whipped around to see Steve scowling at him and growled, “The hell did you just say to me? You trying to call me some kind of faggot!?”
Steve rolled his eyes and gave him a cocky smile. “Maybe, Hargrove. You never do this shit to anyone else on the team, it’s always me . You got something against me?”
Billy stormed over and shoved him back, watching the boy tumble to the ground. “Well, someone has to put the pretty little rich boy in his place. May as well be me.” He watched a moment as Steve went to get up, raising his foot to press it against his chest and keep him down.
Somehow, Billy didn’t coordinate his foot well enough and ended up kicking Steve square in the nose, hearing a horrible crunch. Steve yelped out in pain and pulled his hands to his face. Billy took a step back, frozen in place as the brunette cracked his nose back into place. He staggered to his feet and glared daggers at Billy.
“What the hell?!” Steve yelled at him, blood trickling out of his nose and down his lips. “What the fuck is your problem, man?”
Billy didn’t respond, his mind running so fast it stopped working altogether. He fucked up. This was too far. He only broke from his daze when the coach called over to him, calling the two boys to the sidelines. He scolded both of them, earning a scoff from Steve, and instructed Billy to escort Steve to the nurse’s office.
The walk there was agonizingly long and silent. Billy’s hand laid on Steve’s back, shifting every once in a while. His hand felt horribly sweaty, so he kept shifting, gently massaging between Steve’s shoulder blades without even thinking about it. For a moment, he thought Steve may have been relaxing under his touch, but that was proven wrong when the brunette pulled his shoulders away and glared at Billy.
“Quit fucking feeling me up, man. It’s weird.”
Billy rolled his eyes and gave him a gentle shove before shoving his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “You keep moving, I was adjusting my hand.”
“Yeah, I kept moving, we’re walking, dumbass!” Steve groaned and looked at him. “And don’t get physical with me, that’s what got us here in the first place.”
They turned one last corner and stepped into the nurse’s office. Billy leaned against the wall while Steve sat in the chair and talked with the nurse. She got him a bag of ice and handed it to the brunette, letting him stay there and rest while she had to go use the restroom, leaving the two young men alone.
The first thirty four seconds of it- yes, Billy was counting- were unbearably silent. The ticks of the clock sounded like mines going off under a tap dancer’s feet, rhythmic yet wild. Billy wasn’t sure what to do, his back to the wall, head facing dead forward. His fingers began rubbing at the seams of the insides of his pockets, balling up a tiny bit of lint that stuck together with his own sweat. An itch began under his skin, begging him to move, to do something -
“Why do you hate me so much?” It was Steve who broke the silence, eyes staring ahead while not comprehending what he was looking at, his pupils too dilated to focus as though he was lost in thought.
Billy took a moment to soak in what Steve said, his eyes filled with nothing but concern and confusion for a split moment before he dulled them down to his default scowl. “Hate you? I don’t hate you…”
Steve let out an empty laugh. “We’ve never had a real conversation, Hargrove. All I ever get from you is all bark and all bite.” He looked up at Billy from where he was sitting, gesturing with his ice pack before returning it tenderly to his face. “This is your fault, and you expect me to not think that you hate me?”
Billy looked away, focusing on the collecting dust on the speckled linoleum tile. He couldn’t bear to look Steve in the eye when he says something like that, no matter how true it may be.
“Well… I…” It took Billy about half a minute to collect his thoughts, thirty agonizing seconds that ended in Steve scoffing at him.
“I don’t hate you,” the blonde finally said. “Never… never have.” Pause. “I just get… angry.”
Steve looked at him, almost offended. “What kind of fucking excuse is that?!”
“It’s not!” Billy snapped and looked at him angrily, and the way Steve recoiled, the way he flinched like he was going to get hurt, made Billy want to puke. “Look, I’m- I’m sorry, is that what you wanna hear? Sorry doesn’t fix what I’ve done. It doesn’t fix who I am.”
The silence that followed was awful; Billy wondered if maybe there was something wrong with him that he hated the quiet so much.
“Well,” Steve said, “if ‘sorry’ doesn’t fix anything, maybe you could be, I dunno, nice? Quit treating me like your personal little punching bag and go buy one.” He looked off to the side, like he was thinking about something. The blonde beside him simply observed, his brows knotting in confusion when Steve raised an unsure hand and laid it on Billy’s back. “You… you can be nice. I can tell. I was like you, some egotistical asshole that pushed everyone away. Fucking stop. It doesn’t make you cool, it makes you a prick.”
There was a second’s pause that Billy used just to take everything in. Instead of getting pissy back at Billy, Steve calmed down. He defused the situation instead of making it worse, and honestly? That made Billy feel… something. He wasn’t sure what, but it was something good. Some weird, ticklish feeling in his chest, like walking through a spray of mist.
But, of course, that second’s pause was over when Tommy came running up to the door of the nurse’s office, looking at the blonde. “There you are, Hargrove!” He laughed like nothing was wrong, but Billy could just tell that he was upset. “Stay here any longer and I’d start thinking you were here tryin’ to get all fairy with Harrington.” He grabbed Billy’s arm, digging the pads of his fingers in to create a dull but throbbing pain and making the boy flinch a bit. “Now come on. Tina’s throwing a party tonight and I need a ride.”
With that, Tommy yanked Billy away roughly, the taller male stumbling after him while making one final moment of eye contact with Steve. Billy’s eyes flashed with a moment of fear, and part of him hoped Steve caught that moment before it was over and he was turning the corner with Tommy.
---
If Billy was completely honest, he hated parties. They were loud and crowded and hot, too much for him. But, since he always assumed a position higher up on the social ladder, he had to make an appearance. Not to mention that Tommy requested- no, fucking demanded that Billy drive him to said party. Apparently, Tommy’s car was having troubles and he didn’t feel like going and getting it fixed. Billy didn’t believe it for a second, but it wasn’t like he had a choice.
The party was at its height, drunken teenagers dancing and rubbing up against one another with red cups in their hands. Billy stood with his back against the wall, staring straight ahead as Tommy made out with Carol right beside him. He had his arms crossed, not even touching any alcohol since he was Tommy’s ride.
He glared straight ahead, spotting Steve across the room. The two boys made eye contact and maintained it for half a minute before either one of them did anything. Steve gestured towards the door with his head, turning and walking out onto the front porch. Billy understood the signal and made sure that Tommy was too occupied with Carol to pay attention to him before slipping away. He weaved his way through the crowd, hating the way everyone rubbed up against him, and finally made it out the front door.
Sitting on the front stoop was Steve, leaning back on his hands. Billy stepped forward and sat beside him, looking at the brunette. His brown eyes and beautiful hair were enough to captivate, but getting this close to see his cute moles, the way his eyes folded when he looked up at the stars, it was heavenly.
Steve noticed him after a moment and hummed. “Hey, Hargrove… you seemed kinda lonely in there. Figured stepping away would be a good idea.”
Billy just chuckled and looked down. “Yeah,” he said, trailing off. “If… if I was honest, parties aren’t really… fun. Not to me.” He looked straight ahead at the woods on the border of the property.
“Really?” Steve said in bewilderment. “You of all people? You’re such an attention whore, though. You’re the new king.”
Billy internally cringed at that. “You’re right. I just…” He sighed and looked down, toying with his hands. “I can’t explain it. I don’t like it, that’s just… how it is.” He didn’t mention how he’d rather be at a party than at home, but that was irrelevant. Steve didn’t need to know that.
The brunette just hummed in response, looking ahead to the woods in silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. A calm silence that wasn’t suffocating or tense, just… lingering between the two-
“I’m sorry,” Billy said. Now you’ve done it, ruined the good moment. “For… all my bullshit. There’s no excuse, I’m not… I’m not gonna try and reason it all away. I’m a dick and I can accept that.”
Steve paused, seeming to soak it all in. “Well… thanks. As long as you try to get better, I’m glad you can admit you’re in the wrong.” Billy wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but he felt Steve bump his shoulder against him, just a gentle nudge. It stayed, and Billy didn’t object; any contact was better than no contact.
Billy looked away from him, considering his next words. A silence lingered for a few moments before he spoke; if one was paying attention, they would notice that not once had Billy made eye contact. “Have… have you ever had to pretend to be something you’re not?”
The question seemed to come out of left field for the brunette, and he furrowed his brows in the middle when he looked at Billy again. “N… no… why?”
“Because…” Billy hesitated, bouncing his leg and rubbing his hands together. “Because I do it every fucking day. Hurting someone was… part of the act. I’ll stop, I will, just…” He sighed. “Not sure how believable it would be.”
Steve took a moment and scoffed. “What, so you just fucking pretended to hate me? Busted every part of my body, made me fucking bleed , because you’re acting ?” He was getting worked up, that much was obvious. It put Billy on edge more than he’d like to admit.
“I know how it sounds,” Billy snapped at him. “I know I sound like an asshole, like some pretentious prick that’s full of himself and doesn’t give a shit about anyone around him, but I swear to God- hating you isn’t the worst thing I could do.”
Steve looked at him in confusion. “How the fuck could it get worse?”
“It just can, alright?!” Billy yelled, looking at him in anger. It wasn’t real anger, though; it was a home blend of anger, nothing but fear and defensiveness. In the murky amber glow of the front porch light, tears sparkled on his lower eyelids, which Steve took note of and immediately softened up his expression.
If there was anything that Steve was able to recognize without hindrance, it was fear. His body softened and he nodded slowly, hoping to get Billy’s mannerisms to match. “Alright, okay, I believe you. I do. Just… don’t hurt people anymore. Okay?” He paused, then added, “can you do that for me?”
And holy shit, that made Billy turn to mush inside. He hoped it wasn’t obvious, but he toyed with his hands a bit more and shifted his posture, nodding a bit as his whole body just let go. “Yeah, of course. Totally.” He tried to appear relaxed, resting his hands on the stoop beside him.
Steve nodded, and they both looked out at the forest. “You’re not half bad, Hargrove,” he mumbled and nudged his hand closer to Billy’s. Once it seemed like Billy was open to it, he moved his hand closer and intertwined their fingers.
Billy’s chest was full of butterflies, his head was in a haze, but he was quickly snapped back to reality when Tommy opened the door and stepped onto the porch. There was not even half a second of hesitation- more than there would usually be, though, which meant that he noticed them holding hands. “Hargrove, the hell are you doing out here? Thought you were gonna show the new guys your keg stand!”
The blonde quickly pulled his hand from Steve’s, turning and looking at Tommy. “Oh, uh, yeah- coming. Pretty boy just wanted to talk.”
“Talk later,” Tommy said. “You’ve got more important things than that.”
Once Billy was on his feet, the shorter man grabbed his arm and yanked him inside. Billy just knew that Tommy was upset, and that was made apparent when he pulled him to a secluded bedroom and slammed the door shut behind them, a scowl on his face.
“You’ve got some fucking explaining to do,” Tommy said angrily. “The fuck was that shit with Harrington, huh? Trying to make him a fag, too?!”
“Dude, chill, he grabbed my hand! I wasn’t gonna just say no!” Billy lowered his voice, honestly not wanting to taint Steve’s reputation.
“Sure, what-fuckin’-ever.” Tommy shook his head and turned away, running his hand through his hair as he considered what to do. He then turned back towards Billy and approached him, socking him across the face. Billy’s head swung to the side and he let out a groan, reaching up to gingerly touch his cheek.
“Fuck, ow-” He grunted again when Tommy punched him in the gut, keeling over. He let himself fall to his knees, knowing Tommy would only get more upset the longer Billy put up any kind of a fight.
But nothing worked. What was done was done. Tommy stood over him for a moment, a smirk growing on his face. “I know what I can do to you. I know how I can fucking break you.”
Billy looked up at him with a scowl and an ‘utterly done with this’ smirk. “I’ll humor you. What’s that?”
Tommy just grinned like some evil fucking villain, kneeling down to look Billy in the eyes. “I’ll show everyone the video. Show them what a fucking fairy you really are.”
Without another word, Tommy stood up and walked out, leaving Billy all alone.
---
December had arrived, and so had the snow. It had been a couple weeks since Tommy decided to end their deal, but Billy wasn’t sure he’d actually shown anyone. He was starting to feel better, less angry all the time, so there really was no need for him to lash out. Following Steve’s request was so much easier, not to mention that they began talking more often. He opened up to Steve, mostly because it was just so damned easy to.
Steve had the kind of personality you could spill anything and everything to. He listened, and cared, and Billy loved that about him. There was nothing quite like sitting on Steve’s couch while the snow came down, talking over a couple mugs of storebought hot cocoa. He felt relieved that he had someone to talk to, but even on his worst nights, he insisted Steve do the same.
“What about you, Harrington?” He would say. “I dumped my bullshit, you can dump yours.”
Steve would chuckle, shaking his head and looking away, like he had nothing to talk about. Billy would nag, and nag, and nag- he was an annoying kid, he knew how- and Steve would give in. He’d give in, explaining that he always felt like he was lackluster, like everyone would use him then leave him. That’s how it was with his parents, with his girlfriend, and he admitted he feared that Billy would leave him, too.
Billy took in the information, eyes glazing over for a moment, then turned towards Steve with a smile. “I won’t leave unless you ask me. Sorry, Harrington, but you’re stuck with this asshole.”
They shared a laugh and watched the snow come down, deciding Billy should stay the night. Did Billy get his ass whooped the next day for it? Yes, absolutely. But the worst was yet to come.
It was December twelfth. Billy remembered the day; the day after a major win for the team, Tommy declared they have a party to celebrate at his house. Billy didn’t think all that much of it, excited to spend time with the team; if the team was there, then Steve was there.
They all crowded into Tommy’s basement, which was outfitted with a couch, a TV and VHS player, and a pool table. They all passed a blunt around, laughing and joking and having a good time. After a while of fucking around and getting high, Tommy herded them to the couch.
“I have something to show you guys,” Tommy said as he set up the VHS player, smirking a bit.
At first, Billy was excited; they had been talking about some new horror movie that came out on VHS, and he wanted to see it. However, when he looked at the tape itself, it was unlabelled, blank, like a home tape. That’s when he realized fuck, this is happening now. He glanced to the side, to Steve standing by the stairs with his second can of beer, swirling the liquid in silence. The blonde shifted on his feet and crossed his arms, standing behind the couch as the rest of the guys sat either on it or in front of it.
Everyone was laughing, joking, like nothing was wrong. Tommy shushed them and insisted they watch it like it was an art project he was proud of, but Billy knew better. His stomach dropped when he saw the darkness of the quarry, the blue-black sky, the grainy cerulean color that the night air and low-quality camera made the leaves. The camera moved, leaves crunching under the feet of whoever was holding the camera, and Billy’s Camaro came into view. The license plate was caught clear as day, so Tommy had more proof of this. The camera moved closer, and slowly, the sounds of horny cicadas was overpowered by something else; moaning, unfiltered and unphased moaning.
“Damn, Hargrove, you’re gettin’ some!” One of the guys said, chuckling like he knew what was about to happen. He didn’t.
The camera moved closer still, and finally, they all heard it. Grainy, but clear as day.
“Steve, fuck!”
Everyone fell silent, watching as the camera came closer and finally caught Billy on the act, hand around his cock and a face full of ecstasy. It was just him, so Steve was out of hot water, but Billy was wholly and entirely fucked.
Now, the next few seconds after the tape ended, Billy zoned out. His ears began to ring and his chest felt just a little too tight, like wearing a shirt he’d long outgrown. His legs turned to jelly and his blue eyes stared straight ahead at the fuzzy screen of the television. Everyone else moved away from him and Tommy said something, but Billy didn’t hear him. Suddenly the fuzzy screen went off and all he saw was the disgusted and appalled faces of his peers, making him feel small, weak, wrong.
They all began talking to him, and still, he couldn’t hear. It was a jumbled mess of words, of people being angry and mean and-
“Can’t you hear me?!” Tommy yelled. “Get the fuck out of my house!”
That came through loud and clear. Billy was finally able to will his legs to move, hurrying up the stairs and out of the house. The night was silent, too silent considering Billy’s world was crumbling around him. This was it, this was the crescendo, the beginning of the end. He would never be able to recover from something like this.
Billy fell back against the side of his Camaro and felt the tears well in his eyes just half a second before they began to fall- and when they fell, they didn’t stop. His body shook and twitched with cries of emotional agony. He could hear himself echoing off of the trees, the stars staring down with their judging eyes, the road an asphalt moat that lead only to a broken and unsafe home. He slid to the ground, his knees pulled up to his chest as he sobbed. His chest ached from his heaves, and his whole body felt like it was going to turn in on itself.
He was so loud that he didn’t even notice Steve walking out of the house, not until there was suddenly a presence sitting in the dirt beside him. The blonde jolted and scooted away, wiping at his eyes and attempting to hide how severely he had been crying. He wiped at his eyes and nose before sniffling. “What do you want?” He asked, sounding defeated, dejected.
Steve furrowed his brows. “I figured you wouldn’t want to be alone, so…”
“Well, I do, ” Billy said with a whimper. “I don’t want you near me. I’ll make you a fag, too. Don’t want you to catch it.”
There was a silence between them, then a shuffling as Steve shifted closer to him. Billy looked back at him in confusion and fear.
“You know,” Steve said, “Tommy’s a real creep for recording you doing that.” Billy just shrugged, so Steve continued. “He is! Why would anyone think it’s a good idea to record someone jacking off without them saying yes?”
“Steve, has it not occurred to you that maybe I fucking deserved it?” Billy snapped at him, hiding his fear and pain with anger again. “How fucking dense are you that you can’t see that?! I’m a fucking queer, he had every right!” He curled up and looked away, trying to hide away and ignore how close Steve was.
The brunette frowned, cocking his head a bit and examining the boy’s expressions. It took him a moment of consideration before he finally reached over, cupping his cheek and turning it so they could look one another in the eyes. The touch was firm, not like some dainty girl’s hand was holding him; it was unsure, but didn’t hold back.
“Billy,” Steve spoke in an even, quiet voice, knowing this could be compared to playing with fire, “there is nothing wrong with you. He had no right to do that.” Pause. “And, if I’m honest… I kinda wish I had known sooner.”
Billy was shocked, looking at him with confusion in his eyes. He backed away just a bit, making Steve recoil his hand as he thought Billy didn’t want to be touched. “Why…? I was fucking jerking off to the thought of you, Harrington… all you should see me as is some creepy faggot.”
“Quit using that word,” Steve spoke abruptly, dark brows tied in the middle while his hand returned to his side, clenched in a fist. He didn’t seem angry, just… frustrated, but it was enough to make Billy flinch and back away just a couple inches. “Maybe I should see you as that, but I don’t, because that’s not who you are. ”
Sniffle. “Who am I, then?”
Steve shrugged just a bit, a crooked smile blooming on his face. “You’re just a guy from California that misses the waves. You helped me with my homework and showed how brilliant you are. You want to be a good brother to Max and apologize to her for what you’ve done…” He sighed. “You stayed when everyone else left me. And, y’know, you just happen to like guys.”
“No,” Billy corrected, leaning into his hand, “I like you. ”
The brunette laughed a bit, brushing his own hair back and puffing his chest out like some cartoonish hero. “What can I say? I’m a charming guy. They called me King Steve for a reason, y’know.”
Finally, Billy cracked a bit of a smile, looking at him as a bit of the fear melted away.
“And… I like you too,” Steve admitted. “You’re… I dunno...”
Billy scoffed and turned away again, curling up tighter. “I’m what, Harrington? You don’t know me…”
“Well maybe I want to, if you’d let your walls down and quit following a bunch of arbitrary fucking rules,” Steve said, clearly frustrated. “I’m trying to be good to you, why do you keep pushing me away?”
The blonde laughed; it was an empty, hollow sound. “Why do you think?” He spat, digging his nails into the flesh of his arm.
And Billy didn’t have to say anything else, Steve knew what he was telling him. That he was being pushed away because this way, Billy was safe. He was alone, and being alone meant he couldn't get hurt. Steve wasn’t sure if this was because someone in his past had done this or if he was just too scared to try, but Steve was willing to bet money on the former.
The knowing silence hung in the air, thick and heavy like a blanket of sadness, a stormy day when you’d already made plans. Steve lifted his right hand and slowly laid it on Billy’s back, not saying a word while Billy leaned closer and laid his head on Steve’s shoulder. Neither was sure what was happening, but they sort of liked it.
Billy knew the team was staring at them through the windows on the house. He was too tired to care.
---
Billy had one day of torment at school after that. One long fucking day. He knew that, since he had nothing to hide, he could fight back whoever tried to talk shit about him, and he did the first time.
Some douche from the basketball team was shouting across the parking lot at him. He called him a fairy, a queer, a pansy. Every name in the book. Billy wasn’t sure which one of his teammates it was, and he didn’t particularly care. No, all he knew was that one moment the guy was shouting profanities across the lot, the next he was blocking Billy’s path into the school, and the next, well- Billy felt his fist make contact with the guy’s cheek.
Now, Billy was strong. He worked out regularly and had to know how to defend himself because he always knew no one else would do it for him. He got a few good hits in, but got decked in the side by one of the guys hanging around. Then someone else came at him from the other side, and soon enough, a group of ten guys had crowded around, all eager to have a go at him.
It wasn’t like he was helpless. Billy managed to pull a few down and bloody them up, but the squabble was ended when the coach came over and demanded they break up the commotion. Billy staggered to his feet, his hair a mess and one ear bloody as his earring had gotten ripped out. He wasn’t even able to tell the coach what happened before all the other guys butted in- “Hargrove’s a fairy! We don’t want him on the team! He’s gonna get freaky with us!”
The coach just shook his head. “Not during school hours, boys. And you,” he pointed a finger at Billy, seeming concerned. Billy was his best player, this would be a major loss to the team. “Is what they’re saying true?”
Billy, tired of hiding, sagged his shoulders and nodded, crossing his arms. “That I’m gay? Yeah. Doesn’t mean I-”
“You’re off the team,” The coach cut him off. “I can’t let a queer on the team, the principal would have my head.”
Billy scoffed. “But-”
“It’s final. If I see you try to come into the locker rooms at practice today, I’ll have you expelled for attempted assault. Got it?”
Silently, Billy nodded, grabbing his school bag and heading into the school.
That was the one time in the day that Billy even thought about fighting back. No, he learned his lesson, he wasn’t stupid. His life with Neil as his father taught him that if fighting back got you hurt, then staying silent was your best bet.
He walked to class, trying to ignore the hundreds of eyes that were on him, trying to keep his head held high and his shoulders square. He couldn’t look weak, couldn’t look vulnerable, despite his now disheveled appearance. He sat in his seat in the first class of the day and crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair as the students that sat around him scooted away.
The bell rang shortly after, and the English teacher walked into the room, immediately noticing Billy’s worn down appearance. “Oh, heavens, Billy, what happened?” She asked, adjusting the glasses on her nose.
Someone in the front of the room piped up, not letting Billy answer; “Didn’t you hear? Hargrove got outed and the guys on the basketball team took him down a notch!”
The teacher just furrowed her brows. “Outed him? As what?”
“He’s a queer!” The student in the front said with a little too much confidence.
Billy’s expression didn’t change at all, while the teacher’s changed to that of disgust as she went to her desk and attempted to begin class as normal.
That’s how his day went; all of the students knew, the teachers slowly found out, and he couldn’t even go to practice that afternoon to see Steve. He stuck around, knowing the middle school didn’t let out until after practice was over, simply because he wanted to see Steve. He’d been harrassed all day, he just wanted someone to be there for him. So, he sat in his car and watched the door by the gym, waiting patiently for Steve to walk out.
Sure enough, when practice was over, the team walked out the doors. Billy locked his car, hoping dearly that no one would try anything. Thankfully, the only one that walked over to the Camaro was Steve, who headed to the driver’s side door and tapped on the window with a bit of a smile on his face.
Billy rolled his window down and looked up at him. “Hey, pretty boy…”
Steve bent down to make eye contact. “Hey yourself. You doin’ alright?” His eyes danced over Billy’s appearance, the brunette’s whole body seeming to be weighed down with guilt and sadness.
“I’m… doing, I guess.” Billy shrugged and looked ahead out of his windshield.
“Well, do you wanna be ‘doing’ over at my place later?” Steve offered, hoping to cheer Billy up.
The blonde smiled at that and looked back at him. “Yeah… yeah, that sounds nice. Just let me go get Max and take her home, then I’ll be there, alright?”
Steve nodded and patted his shoulder. “See ya soon, Billy.” He waved a bit and headed over to his car, leaving Billy in a haze.
Billy rolled his window back up and started his car, driving to the middle school to pick up Max. When she got into the car. Neither of them spoke, which was surprising. Usually Max would go on and on about how her day was, and Billy would get annoyed but let her talk anyway. No, the ride to their house was silent, and they were both surprised and confused when they saw Neil’s truck in the driveway.
They both got out, heading inside and immediately seeing Neil in his recliner with a bottle of beer in his hand. Max was the first to speak, trying to greet him with a, “hey, da-”
“Go to your room, Maxine. I need to talk with Billy.” Neil didn’t even look at either of them, taking a swig from his bottle as Max stormed off to her room.
Billy felt a pit open in his stomach, taking off his bag and setting it off to the side. He didn’t say anything, knowing that would make it so much worse.
“You know,” Neil said, “the guys at my shop loved you, Billy.” He was referring to the mechanic shop he worked at. “I always tried to cover for you, tell them oh, my son is responsible, he takes care of his sister, whatever.” He took another swig and stood up, looking at Billy. “So you understand that them knowing your shortcomings would be an embarrassment to me.”
Billy nodded. “Yes, sir.” He tried not to look as tense as he actually was, but it didn’t really help.
“So you know how frustrated I got when your English teacher called my shop to tell me not only that you let your entire basketball team beat you up, but that they did it because they found you being a fucking faggot? ” Billy was silent. “ Answer me! ”
Billy nodded quickly, focusing on the bridge of Neil’s nose so he looked like he was making eye contact. “Yes, sir.”
Neil drank the last of his beer and sighed. “Billy, what did I tell you when we left home?”
Billy knew. He just didn’t want to repeat it.
---
As one would expect, Steve was upset when Billy didn’t come over that afternoon. He’d made sure the house was clean and ready for a guest, having ordered pizza for their dinner as well. It sat on the counter getting cold for hours, and Steve sat on the couch while the sun went down, wondering if Billy had simply abandoned him. When the clock struck midnight, he was sure of it; everyone else left him, why wouldn’t Billy?
Though, when he got to school the next day, he noticed that Billy was absent. He never ran into the blonde on a normal day, but now there was chatter of him being absent. Steve blocked it out, since they all seemed so fucking happy that Billy was gone. It made him want to vomit.
He faced his own backlash from his peers. The students parted like the Red Sea when he walked through the halls and spat insults behind his back, but since there was no proof that he’d done anything more than existed as Billy’s source of pleasure, it was never as violent as what Billy faced the day previous. He hated it, but he was grateful no one tried to physically hurt him.
The school day passed as well as his basketball practice with no sign of Billy, even after practice let out. Steve sat on the hood of his car and lit a cigarette, breathing out the smoke when he saw Max skating up to him.
“Hey, where’s your brother?” Steve asked when she approached him. “Doesn’t he usually pick you up?”
Max nodded and picked her board up. “Yeah, uh, about that… can you give me a ride somewhere?”
Steve nodded and stood up. “Sure, want me to drive you home?”
She shook her head. “No, no, not yet.”
“Okay, uh, where to?” Steve seemed confused.
“The hospital…”
Steve looked at her, concerned as he ushered her into the car. “Oh, shit, yeah. Yeah, let’s go.”
Both of them got into the car, buckling in since Steve booked it to the hospital. There was a heavy silence, Steve having a horrible gut feeling that Billy was the one they were headed there for. That would explain the boy not showing up the previous night, or making an appearance at school.
The silent ride ended when Steve parked the car, but yet, neither of them said much. Only Max telling Steve to follow her, leading the way into the hospital building.
After a couple turns and one flight of stairs, they reached a nurse’s desk with a disgruntled, middle-aged woman sitting at it. The woman looked up at them and obnoxiously smacked her gum, adjusting her glasses. “May I help you?”
Max nodded. “We’re here to see my brother, uh, Billy Hargrove?”
And there it was, like a punch to the stomach. Something happened to Billy. Steve knew this was coming, but that didn’t mean he was ready for it. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat while the woman at the desk directed them where to go. The walk to the hospital room wasn’t even that long, but his mind was buzzing with worry that could never prepare for what he would see.
He and Max stepped into the room, both looking at the bed that held Billy. The blonde was resting, his eyes closed as he laid there. One eye was swollen shut and there were bruises scattered across any visible skin. The curtains were drawn, as though the light hurt his head. Billy was wearing a gown, so it wasn’t visible, but he had surgery scars. The sight was sad; big, strong Billy Hargrove, broken and beaten half to death. It made Steve’s chest hurt.
Max walked over and gently shook Billy’s shoulder. “Hey, asshole, wake up… cmon, I know you’re not asleep.”
Billy groaned. “The light hurts… leave m’alone…”
Steve put his hand on his hips, still standing next to the door. “Do you want me to turn out the lights?”
That made Billy open his eyes, brows knit together as the simple action of looking at Steve hurt his concussed head. “What the hell are you doing here?” He asked in confusion.
“Max asked for a ride,” Steve replied. “Plus, I don’t think they would let some random kid walk into a hospital without any kind of adult with her.”
Billy just hummed, closing his eyes again. “Not sure why she came, but… whatever.”
Max frowned and crossed her arms. “I’m sorry for not wanting you to be alone in a hospital, Jesus.”
Steve just shook his head and sat in a chair beside the bed, looking over Billy quietly. After a few moments of silence, he finally asked, “so… what happened?” Both Max and Billy seemed to tense up, which set off all kinds of alarm bells for Steve. Max looked to Billy, knowing that this was not her story to tell.
Billy just sighed and looked at Steve. “You know, uh, why I was so desperate to keep my bullshit a secret?” He let out an empty chuckle and looked at the ceiling. “So fucking desperate that I let Tommy blackmail me for months?”
Steve paused and slowly shook his head. “I assume the backlash at school would be enough to make you want to hide… is…” Now, Steve wasn’t a straight A student, but even he could piece together what Billy was saying. “Who found out?” Steve said, quiet as he leaned forward on his seat with his forearms on his knees.
Billy turned his head away from Steve, not wanting to admit this. Never in a million years did he want to admit this, but he was in the hospital. Something happened and he couldn’t pussyfoot around it. Not anymore.
Sigh.
“My… my dad,” Billy finally said, his eyes falling to his hands that lay atop the scratchy hospital blanket.
The brunette leaned back in his chair and took a breath in, shaking his head. “Fuck… God, he sounds like an asshole.”
“You fucking think? ” Billy snapped, glaring at him. “Why do you think I’m here? He broke my fucking ribs, Harrington.”
Steve scowled a bit. “I’m sorry that I don’t know how to process the guy I kinda like getting beaten by his own father.” He crossed his arms. “I did actually want to see you, you know. I was fucking worried after you stood me up.”
“Stood you up?! I was in surgery!”
“I didn’t know that, I thought you hated me!”
“For the love of God, shut up, the both of you!” Max snapped, her hands on her hips. “I wanted to come see my brother in the hospital so he wasn’t lonely, not listen to you two bicker like some old married couple. Seriously, you’re both getting pissy because you don’t know how to fucking talk to each other.” She looked between the two and sighed. “I’m gonna step out of the room, and you’re gonna talk your shit out, got it?”
Both of the boys nodded, watching the young girl walk out and shut the door behind her. There was an awkward silence, making Billy feel stiff. It was uncomfortable and one of them had to talk, so Billy tried.
“So, uh-”
“Stay with me,” Steve said, looking at Billy with a level voice.
Billy looked back, shocked and at least a little confused. “Excuse me?”
“Your dad clearly doesn’t want you. My parents are never home, and when they are, they ignore me. If we actually want to try something, then I’m not letting you go back to that man. I couldn’t live with myself.” He paused. “Hell- no, even if you still hated me, I’d offer, ‘cause this is bullshit. You don’t deserve this.”
Billy paused, his body loosening up just a bit. “I mean, I’d just be an issue-”
“No, no you won’t. You’d only be an issue if I didn’t want you there, but I do.”
There was a silence that hung in the air, like Billy was thinking. “Well, uh, if I do, then I wanna set some things straight.” Steve nodded, encouraging Billy to continue. “I know the way you found out about me was… not the best, so… I promise that whatever I feel for you isn’t, like, purely sexual. You’re… you’re good. You’re fucking gorgeous, yeah, but that’s not the depth of… whatever the fuck this is.”
Steve smiled a bit, chuckling. “Thanks, Billy.”
“Shut up, I’m not done yet,” Billy said, enjoying the sight of Steve’s smile. “I… I want to change. Like, not be a dick. I want to change for you.” Pause. “That sounds bad, Jesus, you know what I mean! Like, you don’t deserve to have some fucking asshole with anger issues for a boyfriend, you know?”
Steve blushed, brown eyes going wide. “Oh- you- you wanna be my… my boyfriend?” His voice was suddenly quiet, unsure.
Billy slowly realized what he said. “Oh, shit- Yeah, I figured that was where we were going with this, I’m sorry if you don’t want-”
“Of course I do, asshole,” Steve laughed and took his hand, kissing his knuckles carefully. “My boyfriend, Billy Hargrove. I like that.”
Billy relaxed and smiled a bit, sitting up against his pillows a bit and groaning in pain. His grimace was quickly replaced with a smile, taking Steve’s hand and pulling him close. He paused, so close to Steve, and asked, “may I please kiss you?”
Steve hummed and nodded. “I’d like that.” Before Billy could even process that, Steve leaned in and kissed him, both of them feeling their insides light up with happiness.