Chapter Text
I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go away?
——
April 2014 - two months after the twins disappeared
The house had been quiet when she arrived. When she came over as a kid, she could hear her friends before she even knocked on the door. She could almost hear Beth laughing now, watching Hannah chase Josh when he took her diary. There was no sound now, no laughter or squeals or even arguing.
Sam let herself in with the spare key he had given her the last time she was there and hurried up the steps. She couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting to the doors on the left side of the hall, one covered in butterfly stickers with ‘Hannah’ in cursive purple font. The other sported a small white board with ‘Beth’s room: keep out’ scribbled on it. There was a tiny crude picture in the corner that she could only assume had been drawn by Josh.
The familiar feeling of guilt clenched her stomach and she once again berated herself for not doing more. She could have found Hannah faster. She could have destroyed the note. She could have gone after them in the snow. Could have, could have, could have…
Sam averted her gaze and moved down the hall to the door on the right, letting herself in.
“Josh?” She whispered. The room was mostly dark except for a single lit lamp on the bedside table. A familiar figure sat hunched on the edge of the bed, looking up at the sound of her voice. His eyes were still dark and hooded, his body fighting the sleep he desperately needed.
When he didn’t respond, she walked over and gently took his hand.
“Come on, under the covers,” she told him softly, guiding him to a laying position. She kicked off the boots she had shoved on when leaving her house and walked around the bed to climb into the other side. Once comfortable, she turned her attention back to the boy that was watching her intently. He reached out to touch her cheek, ensuring that she was real.
“Thanks Sammy,” he whispered. Sam smiled comfortingly and took his hand, kissing it softly. She let go and his arm immediately encircled her.
“I’m here.” She whispered, her hand clenching the back of his shirt. Sam refused to let her tears fall, knowing that he needed her to stay strong. She lay there as he used her weight to ground himself.
After laying together for a few minutes, it became apparent that Josh was still struggling to ground himself in reality.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sam whispered. He shook his head before burying his face in her chest, his arms holding her tightly around her waist. Sam sighed, resting her head on top of his. She ran her fingers through his hair comfortingly as she hummed. It wasn’t until Josh stopped shaking that she fell asleep.
Looking up at the sleeping blonde girl in his arms, Josh wondered what he did to deserve her. She had come over in the middle of the night whenever he called, not questioning why or where his parents were. She didn’t make him talk, just held him until he felt safe enough to fall asleep. He loosened his grip and readjusted them so that her head was on his chest and she was snuggled into him. He really didn’t think he deserved her. But now, as her head lay on his chest and her blond hair tickled his nose, a familiar sense of warmth and safety washed over the troubled boy.
“I love you Sammy.” He mumbled into her hair, inhaling her familiar scent before drifting off to sleep.