Work Text:
“What the fuck?” Derek asked as you walked into the bullpen. “Why are you dressed like pretty boy?”
“I’m Spencer, for Halloween,” You said with a grin, you placed the satchel that was almost identical to Spencer’s - that you had purchased specifically - on the floor by your chair. You were wearing a white long sleeved shirt, with a blue tie, grey cardigan, mismatched socks, and black converse. You definitely looked the part.
“Happy All Hallows Eve!” Spencer grinned, handing out candy, giving Derek a rubber decapitated head.
“I hate Halloween,” Derek mumbled, pushing the head over onto your desk with his pen. You grinned, propping the head up - balancing it against your monitor.
“Did you know that Halloween is derived from All Hallows Eve. The term All Hallows Eve which can be traced back to 1556. Halloween can be traced back to 1745,” You said, proud that you had successfully remembered some of the facts that Spencer would talk about each year on Halloween.
Spencer furrowed his eyebrows, taking in your outfit, the satchel, and your manner of speaking. “Why are you dressed like me?"
"I’m you, for Halloween,” You said with a kind smile.
“Oh,” Spencer said, placing his satchel by his desk and sitting down in his chair. You, Emily, and Derek shared a concerned glance.
After an hour of paperwork, Derek and Emily stood up, declaring they were off to buy everyone some lunch. Seeing this as your cue to talk to Spencer, you turned to him.
“This isn’t me trying to make fun of you,” Spencer gave a small, strained smile, your face fell, “Spence, no, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear. This isn’t me trying to take the piss, I promise,”
“It’s- It’s okay, I know I’m different,” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets, giving a small nod before walking off to the coffee machine.
With eyes wide you quickly followed him, “Spence,” You said gently, “I- I just meant it in good spirits I swear,” Spencer didn’t reply, just gave a short nod as he began to make his coffee, he didn’t laugh at your daft Halloween pun like he usually would. “I’m so sorry it didn’t come across that way,”
“I’ve already said, it’s okay,” He muttered before walking back to his desk with his coffee. You opened your mouth to apologise again when Emily and Morgan walked back in with lunch, so you decided against it. Taking a seat at your desk instead.
You cursed yourself as you munched on your food. You should have seen that coming. You let out a huff, taking the cardigan off as well as the tie - which admittedly you did struggle with for a second before throwing it on your desk. “Fuck’s sake,” You mumbled. Fifteen minutes passed of awkward silence before you stood up, dumping the rest of your food (making note to pay Emily and Morgan back) and walking up the stairs to Hotch’s office, ignoring the glances sent by the team your way you knocked lightly on the door.
“Come in,” You heard, slightly muffled through the door.
“Sorry to bother you, sir,” You said with a tight, forced, grin, you motioned to the chair opposite him, “Can I talk to you quickly?
Nodding, Hotch shut his case file, pushing it to the side, “Of course,” He said, motioning for you to sit down.
“I think I fucked up,” Hotch gave you a raised eyebrow at the language, “Sorry, screwed up,” Hotch had become almost a father figure to you, you were one of the youngest on the team, only a year older than Spencer.
“Okay, what happened?"
"I dressed up as Spencer for Halloween,” You sighed, seeing the disproving look of Hotch you quickly continued, “I didn’t mean for it to be a massive dick move - sorry, jerk move. But I was trying to say I noticed him and his quirks. That I appreciate them and enjoy them. I thought if it were someone else saying the facts and he could understand how much I love them. Because I do, I love everything about that man, he’s great. Who wouldn’t love him?”
“I think you should talk to him, tell him what you were trying to show him,” Hotch said.
“Are you mad? Actually tell him that I’m basically in love with him and that was my dumbass misguided way of trying to show it? I can’t do that,” You said, shaking your head and folding your arms. “Besides, I think I would die when he turns round and says ‘sorry, I don’t even like you as a friend anymore’ and to be honest, I deserve it like God, how much of an idiot can I be?” You rambled. Stressed, you reached across the desk and grabbed one of Hotch’s pens, fiddling with it. Hotch watched as you leant back in the chair, slouching and twirling the pen in your fingers.
“I mean I’ve been a total-” You stumble across your words, not wanting another glare from Hotch about your foul language in the workplace, “… Idiot about it. I don’t know why I even thought it would have been a good idea to do it!"
"Just talk to him, I’m sure if you explain, he will understand,” Hotch said.
“What if he never speaks to me again?”
“He will,” Hotch reassured you, “I think nows a good a time as any,” Before you could question what he meant Hotch was already poking his head out and calling for Reid. Your eyes widened.
“Hotch!” You hissed.
“You’re going to sort it out,” Hotch said simply before turning back, “Reid, come and take a seat. (Y/N) wants to discuss something with you,” You watch Hotch leave his office, shutting the door quietly behind him. Your heartbeat echoing through your ears.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a- I didn’t mean to upset you,”
“It’s okay, I’m just overly sensitive with these things,” Spencer said with a shrug.
“No, no it’s not okay. And it doesn’t matter if you are quite sensitive to these things or not. It’s my fault you’re upset, just because another person wouldn’t get upset about it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t either,” You said, “I feel so bad, is there any way I can make it up to you?"
“Can you just answer a question I have?” You nodded, hoping that after this everything between the two of you would just go back to normal. "Why did you do it?"
You dragged your hand over your face, "I wanted to show you that I listen to your facts and rambles, that I try and take in as much as I can because I find them all fascinating. What I find even more fascinating about them is the way your face lights up, the movement of your hands, how-how adorable you look when you’re talking about something you’re passionate about. I wanted to show you that I pay attention to you and that…” You paused, not sure if you should continue. 'Fuck it,’ You thought, throwing caution to the wind. “That I love all of these things about you, that I love you. And I am so sorry that it didn’t come across that way, I would never hurt you on purpose,”
“I know,” Spencer said with a shy smile, “And- And I love you too,”
You look at Spencer, a dopey grin covering your face, “Besides, I just wanted to be my favourite profiler,”
