Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the first thing jongseong does upon turning in his last final for the semester—other than hold back the urge to scream (and probably more realistically, cry) out of relief—is head straight towards the campus coffee shop to indulge himself in some sweet, sweet caffeine.

as he makes the trek past the library, he spares a second to check the time and, sure enough, it’s only 1:20 pm.

which means heeseungie-hyung still has twenty more minutes left;  he winces at the thought. jongseong hopes his boyfriend is doing alright, because the case of last-minute soul-crushing anxiety the older had last night didn’t exactly instill jongseong with a sense of confidence.

if he closes his eyes he can still see the image of heeseung blinking back tears while huddled over his mess of scattered notes.

(it hurt his heart to see, it really did.)

after heeseung’s finished, maybe jongseong can take him out on a date for some healing. he frowns in concentration, head nodding in agreement with himself as he makes up the plan. first, they can go relax by shopping, then just chill for the rest of the day cuddled up at home. he could probably whip up some of heeseung’s favorite snacks too.

yeah, jongseong gives himself a satisfied mental pat on the back. that sounds good, me.

“what are you grinning about, weirdo.” sunghoon snorts. “and can you order already? you’re gonna scare off our other customers.”

it’s then that jongseong realizes—he’s at the coffee shop already? at the front of the line? when did that happen?

“for your information, i’m planning a date with heeseung-hyung.” jongseong shoots back with an eye roll. “plus, you already know what i’m gonna order.”

he takes a second to glance behind him. “and there isn’t even anyone behind me.”

sunghoon’s lips pull into a cheeky smirk and he simply shrugs. “yeah, yeah, whatever. medium iced americano and a medium iced latte?”

a sigh, and then: “yes.”

jongseong swipes his card and the deed is finally done. “how’d your finals go?”

“literally don’t ask me. i don’t think i was even on the same plane of existence as my exams.”

“you could’ve just said you failed.”

“yeah, i could.” the younger agrees with a light huff, grabbing two cups. then, jongseong watches with begrudging fondness as sunghoon smiles to himself, expression softening as he passes them over to his coworker. “but jake’s always telling me to be more positive, so.”

it’s honestly disgustingly cute how deeply in love his friends are with each other, not that jongseong would ever be caught dead admitting such a thing out loud. except for maybe that one time he’d gotten very sappy and emotional over the two finally getting together—it only took three years of jongseong suffering their unnecessary, dramatic mutual pining in high school—but that was one time.

(several times.)

jongseong, being the kind person he is, chooses not to comment on sunghoon’s oh-so obvious heart eyes.

if not out of general decency, then out of fear that sunghoon would retaliate by pointing out that jongseong looks at heeseung in the exact same way, thereby proving him a massive hypocrite.

“where is jake, by the way?” jongseong asks, curious. he shuffles over to the side to wait. “he doesn’t have any finals today, right?”

“studying—well, trying to study over there.” sunghoon winces, before pointing over to a little table in the corner, where jaeyun looks like he’s about five seconds away from literally slamming his head into the textbook he’s holding. “how’d you miss him?” 

really, how did he miss him?

following the sound of suffering leads him straight to jaeyun, who greets him with a resigned, “hey jay…”

the younger boy perks up significantly when jongseong places a freshly warmed muffin in front of him, which only makes jongseong feel worse for him. poor jake must’ve been at this for a while. “here. why don’t you take a little break?”

“oh my god, i love you.” jaeyun’s shoulders sag as he almost slams his textbook shut to then gratefully munch on the muffin. “i’m literally so stressed right now and this muffin’s so good that i kinda wanna cry.”

“i can tell, and so can sunghoon.” jongseong nods his head towards the left, where sunghoon could not be any less subtle in his worried staring. if he’s not careful, his eyes might pop out of their sockets. “i’m sure he’ll come running as soon as his shift’s over.”

he takes a glance at jaeyun’s notebook, full of equations neatly written and color-coded annotations. physics three with calc, jongseong nearly shudders at the thought. ugh. he could never. “you’ll be fine, you always end up doing better than you think you do.”

jaeyun meets sunghoon’s eyes and offers a little smile, before turning back around. his expression morphs into something jongseong can only describe as pure anguish. “i know, but i’ve been struggling on the last two modules even though i went to office hours and tutoring. the information just won’t stay in my fucking brain.”

“cramming for hours on end is going to hurt more than help.” jongseong gives jaeyun a sympathetic pat on the back. the words come out sounding well-practiced because they’re pretty much the exact same ones he said to heeseung in order to get the older to let himself rest. “it’ll be easier to study if you let your brain chill for a little.”

after a second or two, jaeyun relents, probably due to the fatigue finally winning over his adrenaline rush. “you’re right.”

“i’m always right.”

“okay, mr. mosquitoes die in the rain.”

“hey—”

a ding comes from his phone (a text tone that he set especially for heeseung) and the speed at which jongseong grabs it is embarrassing enough to haunt him later tonight when he’s trying to sleep.

jaeyun giggles. “heeseungie-hyung has you wrapped around his finger.”

“i am not wrapped around his finger.”

heeseungie-hyung:

jongseongie :(

me:

why the sad face

what’s wrong hyung?

heeseungie-hyung:

i think i failed

me:

hold on

i’m on my way

“i’m uh—i’m gonna go now,” jongseong scrambles out of his chair, almost dropping his phone and both of his coffees giving jaeyun a double thumbs up as he scurries out the door. “good luck!”

ignoring the confused looks he garners from the other miserably tired students, he speed-walks his way over to the biological sciences building. by the time he makes it there, he’s kind of struggling to breathe and wow maybe he really should should start joining sunghoon and jaeyun at the gym, jesus christ. 

“hyung,” he huffs, pace slowing to a crawl the closer he gets to his boyfriend. “hah… you okay?”

a tiny smile pulls at heeseung’s lips, “i feel like i should be the one asking you that, jongseong-ah.”

“don’t know what you mean. i’m all good.” jongseong holds out the (slightly melted) iced latte, relieved when heeseung shows a real smile, this time. “here, figured you’d need it.”

heeseung hugs his side in thanks, and it’s clear that he’s still a bit tense but the way the older’s eyes curve into happy little moons warms jongseong’s heart nonetheless. “you’re my hero.”

if heeseung notices jongseong’s face turning red, he thankfully doesn’t mention it.

“you up for a little date, hyung?” jongseong asks as he takes hold of the older’s hand, hoping and praying to any higher powers that may exist that his hands are no longer gross and clammy. 

“what kind of date?” the hint of excitement in heeseung’s voice coaxes a grin out of jongseong.

he’s so cute, jongseong realizes—for what is probably the millionth time since they’ve met—when his boyfriend intertwines their fingers. 

“it’s a surprise.”

“hmm.”

“c’mon, how long have we known each other? don’t you trust me?” 

heeseung’s eyes roll so hard that jongseong’s partly afraid they’ll get stuck in the back of his head. “you’re pulling that card again?”

“depends,” jongseong shrugs, confident glint in his eyes. “is it working?”

“it works every time.”

“let’s get going then.”

Chapter Text

“the mall? we’re going shopping?” is the first thing heeseung says as jongseong puts the car in park. luckily in such a nice spot in the parking lot too.

the older looks over at him and jongseong nearly startles. it just him, or are his eyes actually sparkling? before he can start an internal monologue about how pretty heeseung’s eyes are (again), he asks, “you’ve been wanting to get new clothes, right?”

jongseong definitely knows the answer to that, but asks anyway because the touched expression on his boyfriend’s face makes his chest puff out with pride. “i figured it’d be a good way to destress.”

then, it happens so quick that jongseong can’t even register what actually happened. heeseung leans over and plants a haste kiss on his cheek, giving the younger a satisfied smile as he pulls back. “thanks, jongseong-ah.”

he blinks dumbly. “hm? yeah, i mean—it’s nothing, really.”

“c’mon, let’s get going!” the older seems unaffected by both the stupid grin on jongseong’s face, and the way jongseong buffers before finally getting out of the car.

and can you really blame him? that’s just the effect lee heeseung has on people. 

as the two make their way inside, fingers locked and hearts warm, jongseong hums, blissfully unaware as to just how much of an effect his boyfriend can actually have on people.

“jongseong-ah, jongseong-ah,” heeseung gasps, eyes sparkling when his eyes land on a singular gradient flannel, left stranded on a random clothing rack. “look, isn’t this cute?”

jongseong doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s the most hideous shirt he’s ever laid eyes on, not when his boyfriend’s already so enthusiastically taking it off the rack and rushing off to the fitting rooms. after going through four other stores and heeseung not finding a single thing that caught his eye—much to the older’s dismay—the thing that finally breaks the streak is that eyesore of a flannel.  

oh well.

it can’t end up looking bad on him, because he’s lee heeseung and somehow, he looks pretty in literally anything. 

jongseong especially likes the outfit he’s wearing today. the oversized blue button up over the wide-leg black pants is a great look. the asymmetrical collar is also a cool detail that jongseong would like to incorporate into his own closet too.

he does think heeseung’s shirt would’ve also looked really good tucked in to accentuate the older’s small waist; his boyfriend prefers loose, oversized fits most of the time though, contrary to jongseong himself, who likes more fitted silhouettes.

the older peeks out from behind the door, effectively snapping jongseong out of his fashion-nerd daze, before opening it fully to reveal his outfit. “soo… what do you think?”

what the fuck, jongseong thinks. heeseung picks the world’s ugliest flannel and still manages to look absolutely adorable in it. “i like it. you look cute, hyung.”

he looks so much more than cute. the flannel is so giant that it’s practicing swallowing him. the sweater paws—jongseong is a weak, weak man, and heeseung is so unbearably endearing as he turns himself at all angles in front of the mirror to examine himself, a content little smile on his lips.

how could anyone in their right mind say no to those doe eyes? 

oh my god, i can’t even listen to myself. 

jongseong’s self-awareness finally catches up with him, and he represses the overwhelming urge to clench his fists to fight off the cringe.

ugh, jake was right. he does have me wrapped around his finger.

he hates when jake’s right about things. curse his stem brain.

jongseong is shaken out of his trance when his boyfriend perks up, nearly prancing—really, how much cuter could he possibly get—to the over-the-top (coming from a man who lives for accessorizing) selection of hats. “oooh! jongseongie, what about this bucket hat?” 

oh no, please no. please put it back. if there is some kind of higher power out there, now is the time to prove it to me.

it does not work.

heeseung proudly showcases his horrendous blue-yellow plaid monstrosity and jongseong the skeptic lives to see another day. 

“i’m gonna be honest hyung, i hate it.”

“you really don’t like it?” jongseong’s eyes auto-focus on the way heeseung’s lips form a subtle pout as the older makes eye contact with him through the miror.

stick to your fashion morals, jay. do not be deceived by his cute sulking. 

the older spins around, hands on his hips as he huffs, blowing his bangs out of the way. “so you don’t think i look cute in it?”

wow, heeseung has been spending way too much time with sunoo lately. the eye-roll jongseong gives him is unintentional but it does get heeseung to finally give up the act. jongseong cracks a smile when the his boyfriend laughs, further pulling the bucket hat onto his head. “i don’t care, i’m gonna buy it anyway.”

“yeah, i thought so. ready to check out?”

“mhm,” heeseung nods, taking the hat off and placing it in his arms along with the flannel he picked up earlier. “i think we’ve pretty much exhausted our—”

jongseong’s about to ask him why he suddenly just stopped talking, which is really not all that uncommon for the older, but he follows heeseung’s line of sight and eventually lands on a simple silver necklace. 

it’s pretty (like heeseungie-hyung, jongseong’s brain fills in automatically); a dainty chain with a thin bar pendant hanging vertically.

it’s so heeseung that he couldn’t possibly leave it behind.

so he voices that aloud, sincerely. “i like that one a lot, hyung. it’d look really pretty on you.”

the content hum from heeseung is all he needs to confirm that his boyfriend feels the same way about it. 

however, heeseung’s eyebrows furrowing afterwards says otherwise. “…it is kind of pricey, though.”

jongseong waits, watches, as heeseung gives a shake of his head before looking back over at him with a little smile playing on his lips. 

“maybe some time in the future? i don’t really need another necklace right now, i have enough accessories as is.” 

sure, heeseung sounds convincing enough, but jongseong sees how his eyes linger on the pretty necklace when he’s grabbing jongseong’s hand, and how he turns around one last time to steal a glance at it when they’re waiting for their turn in the checkout line.

“i can help the next customer.”

“that’s us.” jongseong gently nudges heeseung with his shoulder.

“oh—!” 

“hello, how are you doing?” the cashier exchanges the usual greetings, not even looking up as he scans heeseung’s items. 

“we’re good, thank you.” heeseung’s lips pull into a polite smile as he asks, “how are you?” in return. 

the cashier raises his head then, and jongseong spots the exact moment that ‘the heeseung effect’ (as jaeyun likes to call it, which is much better than sunghoon’s ‘heetoxication’ and sunoo’s ‘heetonin’), starts doing its thing.

all it take is one pretty smile from heeseung and the guy is rendered nearly speechless. the first symptom of the heeseung effect. utterly disarming. “i, uh… pretty. i mean. i’m doing pretty well… thank you.”

“ah, that’s good.” heeseung doesn’t catch the slip-up, occupied with pulling out his wallet, but jongseong sure does.

and yes, his boyfriend is pretty, but the cashier stares at heeseung the way sunghoon would a piece of steak which is just fucking weird. so as they’re on their way out, jongseong makes a show of lacing his fingers with heeseung’s, where he knows that cashier can see them.

heeseung moves with a spring in his step, rejuvenated by indulging in his shopping addiction, which is only partly a joke. 

i really did want that necklace though… 

hopefully it’ll still be there by the time he ever decides to buy it. 

“oh shit.”

“hm?” that’s never good, jongseong must have—

“i’ll be right back, hyung, i think i left my phone there!”

yeah, that’s about what he expected. he breathes out a laugh, watching as his boyfriend rushes off into the distance frantically. he might as well find somewhere to sit while he waits.

to heeseung’s luck, there’s a lounging area not too far from where he is now. jongseong should be able to see me from there, right? 

ah, he’s sure it’ll be fine; it’s the 21st century, they’ll just text each other if they need to. heeseung takes a seat, letting out a relieved sigh when he can finally rest his poor back against some support. cramming every night for the past week really was a bad idea, he should’ve just listened to jongseong, but he probably would’ve failed at least one of his finals if he didn’t, so it was a lose-lose situation either way. 

“hey…”

heeseung jumps a little, turning around when he feels a tap on his shoulder, eyes wide with surprise. “hm?”

“i think you’re in my abnormal psych class. heeseung, right?”

what does one do when they’re approached by someone they have absolutely no recollection of? heeseung doesn’t have the slightest clue, and it must show on his face, because the guy cracks a smile and extends his hand.

“i’m geonu.”

the name does ring a bell, but he can’t place it.

“i’m heeseung, but i guess you already knew that.” he places his hand in geonu’s for a quick handshake, embarrassment taking the form of pink dusting his cheeks. “oh, wait! i think i’ve replied to your discussion posts a few times.”

“you did, actually.” the other boy seems delighted that heeseung remembers him, if the way his eyes brighten is any indication. “your responses were really good, by the way!”

heeseung perks up, a genuine smile on his lips as he gives geonu a small shake of his head. “thank you, but they were pretty average i think.”

“intelligent and humble.” 

a laugh, and then heeseung shrugs a little. “i like to think of myself as well-rounded.”

geonu grins at that, and heeseung is grateful for the solid reactions despite his lackluster jokes. 

“i actually came up to you because i was wondering…” 

“hm?”

“do you want to go—”

“heeseungie-hyung?”

heeseung’s eyes immediately search for his boyfriend, lighting up when he makes eye contact with the younger. “jongseong-ah, over here!”

yet another who has fallen victim to ‘the heeseung effect.’

damn.

jongseong doesn’t even try to stop his eyes from looking the guy up and down in a way that screams ‘he has a boyfriend. i am the boyfriend. please do not flirt with him.’ 

(please, because he’s still got manners.)

he’s pretty sure he gets the point across well enough when he sees realization flash across the other guy’s face.

“jongseongie, this is geonu. he’s in one of my classes.” the older faces him with a sweet smile, and jongseong melts a little at the starlight glinting in heeseung’s eyes, tucked away underneath his bangs. “and geonu, this is my boyfriend, jongseong.” 

“ah, it’s nice to meet you.” geonu offers jongseong a smile.

and although it’s a bit of a dejected one, it’s a smile nonetheless, so jongseong returns it with one of his own as well as a quick nod. “same here.”

“you were asking me something before, right?” heeseung hums, tilting his head in question. “sorry, i cut you off.”

geonu shakes his head, waving his hand nonchalantly. “don’t worry about it, i already forgot what i saying. i should get going anyway, it was nice seeing you two.”

not in any way intentionally, jongseong slides an arm around his boyfriend’s waist as the older says his goodbyes. “should we get going?”

“yeah, let me just call jungwonie and see if he’s hungry.” heeseung leans into jongseong’s hold, much to the younger’s delight. “i think he and riki are doing homework together right now, we can pick up some food for the—”

jongseong takes the lead in steering them, so heeseung, now preoccupied, doesn’t walk right into the wall. for someone who’s so good at everything, his motor skills could really use some work. it must run in the family or something, because jungwon is just as clumsy, yet capable, as his older brother. 

“sunoo-ya? you’re there too?” whatever sunoo replies with must be funny, seeing as it sends heeseung into a fit of laughter.

jongseong just knows he must be looking so ridiculously smitten right now, watching the older.

‘the heeseung effect,’ he thinks fondly.

“so sushi? you kids have such expensive taste.” heeseung (affectionately) rolls his eyes, even though the other three can’t see him. “okay, are you guys thirsty? should we get boba? we’ll stop by the mart to get some banana milk for you, riki.”

“woah—!” jongseong takes a sharp turn and narrowly avoids walking them both face-first into the door and decides that maybe, he should focus on walking instead of heeseung’s cute little nose scrunch. “okay, we won’t be too long, bye.”

heeseung blinks, head turning as he quickly takes in his surroundings. “oh, when’d we get to the car?” 

an amused chuckle escapes jongseong at the disoriented look on his boyfriend’s face, and he grins. “let’s just go, hyung.”

“jongseong-ah,” the older tries, but jongseong doesn’t react, simply keeping his eyes on the road and hands on the steering wheel. “jay-ya… c’mon, talk to me.”

yes, he knows he’s overreacting and making this a much bigger deal than it needs to be. does this stop him from doing it?

no.

after stopping by the nearest grocery store, both to pick up riki’s beloved banana milk, and for jongseong to get some ingredients for the late-night snacks he’d planned to make later, they went to go get sushi at their favorite restaurant—well, correction: jongseong went to go get the sushi, heeseung went a few shops down to get the boba. 

upon successfully obtaining said sushi, jongseong met up with heeseung, who had been ordering their drinks, blissfully unaware of the heart eyes being directed his way courtesy of the barista. 

listen, jongseong is a patient guy.

all of his friends would describe him that way, and not to toot his own horn or anything, but he takes pride in how chill and down-to-earth he is. 

however, everyone has their limits, right? and his just happen to be far too many people flirting with his boyfriend. so many people in so little time. 

this by no means justifies him giving heeseung the cold shoulder, and guilt does eat away at him when he hears the little sigh coming from the passenger’s side. 

it’s the way heeseung puffs his cheeks out indignantly that finally puts an end to jongseong’s sulking—the way the older crosses his arms, annoyed, contrasting the sudden change in his tone. “can’t you at least tell me what i did…?” 

he sounds equal parts confused and upset, and it’s then that jongseong realizes he still has a long way to go in the whole relationship department. 

growth is part of the process, and he has to start somewhere. 

“it wasn’t you, hyung.” he replies simply, hesitantly. 

“then what was it?”

luckily, he’s spared the embarrassment of admitting that he’s jealous for a few minutes. “we’re here, i’ll tell you once we’re inside.”

heeseung looks over at him skeptically, but nods nonetheless. “…okay, but we still have to talk about this.”

unluckily, nothing gets past yang jungwon.

despite the three younglings being deeply invested in the drama they’re watching on the tv—so much so that jongseong is actually worried that sunoo is going to fall into the screen, with riki not being far behind him—jungwon takes one look at his face and breaks out into a teasing little grin. “oooh, looks like someone’s jealous again, aren’t they?”

jongseong freezes in place, the sushi box in his hands suspended above the table. he flushes. 

god damn it.

riki and sunoo snicker and make their way towards the food with satisfied smiles on their lips. 

“jealous…?” the amusement in his boyfriend’s voice only becomes more obvious when jongseong coughs to clear his throat. “is that why you were pouting the whole way home?”

sputtering, jay scoffs in a useless attempt to try and keep himself from saying anything that could possibly incriminate him. “n-no, i was not.”

great one, idiot. sunghoon’s voice is in his head, laughing at him.

sometimes he really hates his friends.

“you’re a terrible liar, jay-hyung!” riki’s voice is now coming all the way over from jungwon’s room and—those kids are so fucking fast, what the hell? 

“yeah! just admit you’re jealous!”

kim sunoo, he groans internally. 

the food and drinks are gone, and jongseong is left with heeseung, who’s now laughing his little head off. 

“hyuuung,” jongseong complains, throwing himself onto the couch in the hopes that the ground will open to swallow him up and save him from the humiliation. “don’t laugh at me.”

heeseung smiles at him, eyes shining and practically radiating warmth when he follows the younger to the couch and leans closer to him, weight resting on the palms of his hands, “but i think it’s cute.”

“cute my ass.”

not even seconds later, jongseong feels a hand cup his cheek gingerly—lovingly, featherlight against his skin. heeseung is a magnet, and jongseong has never been able to resist his pull, so he reluctantly turns to make eye contact with the older, and is surprised to see that heeseung’s pretty eyes are glassy.

all thoughts of immature jealousy melt away immediately. he panics. “hyung?”

slowly, painstakingly so—jongseong knows because he’s now watching heeseung’s every move like a hawk—heeseung shakes his head, his lips forming a small, trembling smile that has jongseong’s heart squeezing painfully.

“sorry, it’s just…” he starts, and jongseong is hanging on to every word.

the elder lets his hand drop, lets his gaze fall along with it. jongseong is careful, gentle, when he tilts heeseung’s chin back up; the tension in his shoulders lessening when heeseung leans into his touch.

“just…?”

“…you love me.” heeseung’s voice is no louder than a mumble, and if jongseong weren’t paying such close attention, he’d have missed it. the corners of the older boy’s lips turn downwards, and jongseong frowns. heeseung sighs shakily, it seems his insecurities have resurfaced. “it’s dumb, i don’t know why i even said that. i know that already… you love me, and i know that—”

“it’s not dumb, hyung. not if it’s bothering you.” the way heeseung nods is his attempt to reaffirm it to himself, and jongseong is reminded of two things; the first is how incredible his hyung is. still so strong, even when he’s uncertain and doubtful of himself. the second, is how proud of him jongseong is. he’s been so critical of himself for so long, it’s always been his biggest flaw: how hard he is on himself. it’s no wonder that he’s a bit vulnerable right now—jongseong knows him like the back of his hand and right now, he has a feeling that heeseung probably doesn’t think he’s worth being jealous over in the first place. his heart aches in his chest. “you’re right… i do love you. i love you so much that it feels like i’ll never be able to find enough ways to show you just how in love with you i am.”

the love of his life finally shows him a smile, it’s small and his lips are quivering, but it’s brave and bright and so, so beautiful.

it’s how he knows his feelings have truly gotten through to heeseung. 

a breathy little giggle escapes heeseung as the older inches closer, close enough that their foreheads touch, close enough for jongseong to count his long, pretty eyelashes. the elder’s eyes flutter shut, sending jongseong’s poor heart into overdrive. “you always know what to say… who knew big bad jay would be such a softie? i didn’t even know you could get jealous.”

jongseong lets out a laugh, light and quiet, because he doesn’t dare disrupt the atmosphere they’ve created. “how could i not? i’m in love with most precious person in the world.”

“sap.”

“you love it.”

“yeah,” the older whispers, and jongseong’s heart soars. “…i do.”

the mood mellows out after that.

riki and sunoo head back to sunoo’s house, jungwon tagging along with the excuse of a sleepover, but heeseung’s pretty sure he’d overheard something earlier and wants to give them some alone time. which, in all honesty, he appreciates a lot. jungwon really is the best brother he could've ever asked for. 

and now, as he’s sat in the kitchen, watching jongseong expertly whip up some late night snacks—his heart swells with the love he has for the younger, and he’s a more than a little afraid that his chest isn’t quite big enough to hold it.

heeseung cups his own cheeks, elbows resting on the table, mind wandering somewhere distant. 

it’s hard to believe sometimes, that someone like jongseong loves him like this—the kind of love that is immortalized in stories told through centuries, love that is so sweet that it hurts, love that grows deeper, bigger with every passing day.

it’s hard to believe that someone like jongseong could love him in the same way that heeseung loves jongseong—entirely, honestly, irrevocably.

he struggles with the idea still, when he’s not feeling all too sure of himself. 

it never lasts too long, though, because whether heeseung can believe it or not, jongseong has made it clear that he’s not going anywhere. the younger wears his heart on his sleeve for all the world to view, and heeseung would be blind if he couldn’t see the adoration in jongseong’s eyes, the soft but steady way in which jongseong holds him. 

steady, heeseung thinks absently, that’s the perfect way to describe him. steady and strong and gentle. 

a plate is placed in front of him, abruptly cutting his train of thought short. he doesn’t mind, because when he looks up, he’s greeted by his boyfriend’s signature half-smile.

never has he seen a prettier sight.

“here, hyung.” jongseong leaves a kiss on the top of heeseung’s head, the action bringing a happy glow to heeseung’s cheeks. “lemme go get something from the car real quick and then we can start up a movie?”

“…your name?” the older asks, tone turning hopeful, he knows that jongseong won’t say no though—even if this would make it probably the hundredth time they’ve watched said film. 

he can’t help it, okay? 

it’s his comfort movie.

as expected, jongseong chuckles, but nods. “you’re just gonna fall asleep halfway through it anyway.”

“no i’m not. i’m not tired at all,” heeseung huffs, shuffling over to the couch with the food in his arms as jongseong heads out. 

i wonder what he forgot, i’m pretty sure we brought everything inside.

the thought flies out of his mind once he gets ‘your name’ onto the tv though, and he’s still immersed in watching and rewatching the trailer again by the time jongseong is back.

“close your eyes for a second.”

“why?” heeseung hums, but he’s already doing as told, electrifying excitement drumming along his skin. 

it’s then, that he feels something cold and dainty draping around his neck. 

he didn’t.

he should’ve expected this. 

“okay, now open.” jongseong’s eyes are on him, full of pure warmth and affection and heeseung doesn’t waste another second before quite literally jumping into the younger’s arms. his boyfriend lets out a pained ‘ow,’ but pulls heeseung into his lap anyway. 

“it was expensive, jongseong-ah.” it’s no use. try as he might to chastise the younger’s spending habits, the waver in his voice gives him away. “you didn’t need to.”

“you weren’t fooling me, hyung. just think of it as an early birthday present.”

heeseung throws his head back in a full-bodied laugh, unaware of the fondness in the way jongseong watches him, looking impossibly smitten. “my birthday’s not for another five months, jay-ya.”

“you can accept nice things, you know.”

“you don’t have to buy me nice things to show me that you love me, you know.”

they stare at each other, neither of them wanting to back down.

a sigh, and then jongseong shakes his head, subtle smile betraying his mock annoyance. “just start the movie, hyung.”

twenty-something minutes into the movie, jongseong feels his shoulder get heavier. a soft smile tugs at his lips when he sees heeseung’s eyes shut, eyelashes flush against his skin. the older’s expression is the most serene and peaceful it’s been in almost a month, and god, jongseong is so glad.

“not tired, huh?” even to his own ears, his voice is so sweet it’s practically dripping with honey. but what can he do when heeseung is so naturally endearing?

as gently as he can, jongseong adjusts their positions so that heeseung’s head is laid on his lap and jongseong himself is rested diagonally against the corner of the couch.

my legs are gonna fall asleep like this, he thinks as he pulls their spare throw blanket over heeseung. forget falling asleep, they’re gonna fall off at this rate.

but really, does it matter that his blood circulation is being cut off when his boyfriend snuggles closer? when he watches the steady rise and fall of heeseung’s chest as the older sleeps soundly?

not really. he could stay like this forever and he wouldn’t mind, so long as he has heeseung by his side.

carefully, so as to not wake the sleeping beauty, jongseong leans over to leave a gentle kiss on heeseung’s forehead. his heart warms when the older mumbles in his sleep.

“…nooo… don’ go yet…”

“i’m not going anywhere, hyung.” he whispers, running a hand through heeseung’s hair. “i love you, sleep tight.”

and if jongseong’s heart clenches hours later, at the sight of heeseung sitting up sleepily, trying to rub the fatigue from his eyes with his sweater paws and blearily blinking his pretty doe eyes—if he melts when heeseung crawls into his lap in order to fall asleep again, saying something about it being more comfortable—

who could blame him?

that’s just the effect heeseung has on him.

“jongseong-ah,” heeseung mumbles from where he’s hidden his face in the crook of jongseong’s neck, voice small and unsure. “i love you. you love me, right?”

jongseong simply continues playing with the older’s hair. the softest smile pulls at his lips, and he lets the hand in heeseung’s hair trail down to cup his cheek. when he pulls away to get a look at heeseung’s face, his boyfriend pouts.

“i love you, hyung.”