Chapter Text
Mac convinced himself to finally get out of bed. Usually he wasn’t one to lie about doing nothing, but since Desi had left almost an hour ago for some work at Phoenix, he’d been procrastinating getting up.
As he got ready for the day, he thought of Auntie. Obviously he wasn’t going to miss the brick laying at the library today but the prospect of having to say a final goodbye to her was weighing heavily on him.
His talk with Riley last night had helped him more than she could ever know, but Mac knew going back today would no doubt bring some of those worries back. He realised however, that there was one thing that he could do to help, and coming out of the bathroom, he grabbed his phone, seeing that it was just past seven as he dialed.
It rang a few times before Riley answered, her voice low and slightly raspy.
“Mac?”
“Riles, hey. Sorry for waking you up.”
“It’s okay,” and hearing her moving in her bed, she added, “you all good?”
“Yeah, nothing’s wrong,” he quickly reassured her. “I know it’s late notice, but I forgot to ask you yesterday. Do you… do you mind coming with me to Auntie’s memorial?”
He felt bad about waking her up and possibly dragging her out of bed, but not only did he know she’d understand how important this was, he selfishly wanted her steady presence there next to him.
“The brick thing?” she asked, and Mac lightly smiled. He could tell from the tone of her voice and the slight raspiness that she was not quite awake yet but trying to get there.
“Yup, the brick thing.”
“Ya, of course I’ll come,” she replied, and Mac felt warm relief sweep through him. Though he was certain she’d agree, it was great to actually hear her say it.
“How're you getting there?”
“Well Boze is picking me up in like 10 minutes, so we’ll probably be at your place in around 30,” and knowing that was pretty soon considering she’d only just woken up, he asked, “that okay?”
“Yeah of course,” she replied, and hearing a smile in her voice, she added, “see you soon, Mac.”
He smiled.
“See you soon.”
Mac felt that some of the heaviness of the day ahead had gone, and after getting ready he finished his breakfast just as he heard Bozer pull up. Brick in hand, he locked the door behind him and got in, and as Boze said good morning, Mac realised he hadn’t told him he’d asked Riley to come as well.
Slightly apprehensive, because he knew it was for close friends and family, he said to him, “I asked Riley to come with us if that’s alright. I know she never met Auntie, but -”
“It’s all good, Mac,” Bozer immediately cut in with a laugh.
Mac relaxed, he should've known Bozer would have no problem with it, and pulling out onto the road, he asked, “we going to pick her up?”
“Yup. I called and let her know.”
Bozer nodded, driving the way to Riley’s, and added, “I know she wasn’t your aunt originally, but she was your aunt just as much as she was mine. You don’t have to ask permission to bring whoever you want. Besides,” Bozer added, taking a turn, “even though she didn't know Auntie, Riley's part of our family so it makes sense she comes as well.”
He laughed lightly, not only at Bozer's words, but the memory of Riley pretty much saying the same thing about herself yesterday.
“Yeah, fair point. Thanks Boze.”
They fell into a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Bozer asked, “what did you write on your brick?” and gesturing to the back seat, added, “mine’s back there. Feel free to read it.”
Mac smiled. Boze and Riley were the two people he felt comfortable showing what he’d written, because although his words would seem slightly cheesy to anyone else, he knew those two would understand the depth behind them and that he truly meant it all. Twisting to get Bozer’s brick from the back, he read out loud, “for the only person who could get me to enjoy a book.”
Mac laughed, it was true enough. Boze hadn't been a big reader but Auntie, with the books she chose and her own enthusiasm, had gotten him to enjoy it, and though it was a lighthearted message, Mac knew there was a lot of love in it.
Bozer laughed as well.
“Figured that, cuz it's for a library, may as well!” They chuckled over that, then he asked, “what about yours?”
Mac had the words on his own memorised, so without looking at it, said, “for showing me how to dream with open eyes, travel without moving my feet, and rest in the power of knowledge.”
Tone reverent and sincere, Bozer said, “that’s beautiful, Mac. It really is.”
Mac gave him a small smile in thanks and they fell back into a comfortable silence until they got to Riley’s apartment.
She was waiting outside as they pulled up, and after she hopped in, Bozer turned back onto the road.
“Morning guys,” she said while buckling in.
“Morning!” Bozer immediately replied, and Mac turned around to give her a warm smile.
“Thanks for coming, Riles.”
“Of course,” she replied just as warmly, then laughed as Bozer excitedly talked about their impromptu road trip. When he started saying who would be there, Riley said, “I know it’s not for the happiest of reasons, but I’m excited to learn more about Pamela, and also to see your parents,” and thinking about it, added, “I’ve only met them at a few Christmas parties or so.”
Obviously it made sense that Riley didn’t know Bozer’s parents as well as he did, but because she was one of the people who knew him best, it seemed slightly strange that she didn’t know much about this huge part of his life.
“Even from the few times they’ve met you,” Bozer said, “they like you, so I know they’ll be happy to see you as well.”
Riley smiled, and Bozer caught her up with what his parents were doing.
Apart from a stop for a late breakfast, they spent most of the time on the road, telling Riley stories of Auntie. She’d already heard some because he’d told her a few yesterday to highlight just how important Auntie had been to his childhood, but she still smiled and laughed as he and Bozer animatedly told them.
They arrived soon enough, and parking in the library car park which was filled with many other vehicles, they got out and stretched their legs.
They walked past the library to the small field behind it, constantly stopping to say hi to Bozer’s cousins, aunt and uncles, people he’d grown up around. They greeted him just as enthusiastically as they did Bozer, with hugs, slaps on the back, and kisses on the cheek, and were genuinely happy to meet Riley.
Mac’s heart warmed because sure, most of his biological family had gone, but the Bozer’s had welcomed him into their family with open arms, and though he hadn’t really had his mother or father growing up, he had never felt a lack of love and support.
The main reason for that was Milton and Lauretta, and Mac smiled as he saw them. Arms wide open for a hug, Lauretta said, “my boys are here!”
Warmth filled Mac yet again, he really loved her, and while she hugged Bozer, he hugged Milton.
“Good to see you here, son,” he said after letting go.
Mac smiled warmly at him.
“I definitely wasn’t going to miss this,” and turned to Lauretta as she swept him into a warm hug, while Milton did the same with his son.
In a slightly thick voice, filled with emotion, Lauretta quietly said, “I know I said this yesterday, but thanks again for finding out what really happened to Pamela.”
She squeezed him lightly as she let go, and smiling warmly at her, he said, “of course. She was my aunt, I couldn’t let whoever did that to her get away with it.”
Lauretta affectionately squeezed his hands, and stepping back, he once again realised that he hadn’t said he was inviting someone, and though he knew Lauretta and Milton wouldn’t mind at all, he couldn’t help but feel slightly bad.
Gesturing to Riley, he said, “I know this is for people who knew Auntie, but I asked Riley to come as well if that’s -”
They waved him off.
“Of course it's okay,” and turning to Riley with a smile, Lauretta added, “the more the merrier.”
Riley smiled warmly at them.
“I’ve heard great stories about her from Boze and Mac so I know how important she was to them both -” she turned and gave him a small smile and he knew she was referring to their conversation yesterday. “Besides,” she added, turning back to Lauretta and Milton, “I heard the story of how she gave Mac a massive telling off when she caught him about to do a possibly explosive experiment in the library, and Bozer as well who was just going to stand there and watch it happen.”
They all burst into laughter, and grinning, Riley added, “trust me, I have mad respect for her.”
Smile on her face, Lauretta waved them forward while saying, “c’mon, we should get started soon,” and they all followed her to a small cemented area nestled between plants. “We’re going to turn this into a reading nook,” she said, gesturing to the space, “and Pamela’s memorial bricks will create a half wall to surround it.”
Bozer smiled, and although it was subdued, it was genuine.
“It’s going to be beautiful,” he said. “Auntie would’ve loved it.”
They all nodded, she really would've, and everyone settled down as Charlene walked onto the concrete area, and looking at everyone huddled around her, said, “hey guys, thanks for coming today.”
Leaning closer to Riley, Mac whispered, “that’s Auntie's niece, Charlene.”
She nodded, and he straightened back up, paying attention to Charlene’s words.
“I'm not one for long emotional speeches as I'm sure most of you know -” people laughed “- so all I'll say is that I know everyone here loved Aunt Pamela and we're all going to miss her constant warm and vibrant presence.”
Charlene wiped away a few loose tears and Mac heard Bozer sniffle from next to him.
“Though she's no longer with us, we can all agree that she played an important role in our lives in one way or the other -” that was certainly true “- and this reading garden in one of her favorite places is a small way to honour that.”
Mac gently smiled, memories of him spending time out here with Auntie, talking about books, homework, school, and sometimes playing games like tag or soccer with her, Bozer and some other kids.
“There's no system or specific order,” Charlene continued. “Just come up and we'll get your brick laid into the wall.”
Mac instantly felt relieved.
He hadn't really known how this would happen and he was beyond glad he didn't have to read out what he'd written. Obviously everyone had written heartfelt messages for Auntie, but he just wasn't one to share what he was feeling with everyone.
Riley smiled reassuringly at him as he, Bozer, and his parents moved forward along with everyone else. Reaching the cement area, he hugged Charlene after Bozer. “It was a good speech, short and sweet,” he said to her. “I’m sure Auntie would’ve appreciated it.”
Charlene laughed lightly as she let go, saying, “yeah, she was never one to beat around the bush.”
Mac smiled, moving forward as other people stopped to talk to her. Joshua, one of Bozer’s uncles, smiled gently as he took the brick from him, carefully adding it to the wall so the message was visible at the front.
Stepping back so others could do the same, Mac watched as his heartfelt message was soon surrounded by countless others who’d loved her just as much as he had, and even though he knew coming here would bring up all his hurt about losing family, there was nothing he could do to stop it.
She’d been taken too soon.
There was still so much life she’d had left to experience, so much knowledge to still impart, and still so much love to spread.
Mac started walking back to where he’d stood.
Why was it that everyone in his life had left him much earlier than they should’ve? His mother had died early, his father had died early, Gwen and Charlie had died early, Pena, Leanna and Jill had as well.
Mac blinked tears out of his eyes.
He knew it was a childish thought, but he really couldn’t help it.
It just wasn’t fair.
He knew there was nothing he could do about it, but why did everyone leave him before their time? He knew that it was guaranteed that some people would die early rather than live long happy lives, but why did it seem like it was everyone in his life who were victims of that devastating fact?
Next to Riley now, his hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it reached for hers to seek comfort, and she immediately held back, squeezing his hand lightly in reassurance. Mac let her warmth flow through him, grounding him, and he took a deep breath.
Sure a lot of people had prematurely left his life, but there were still so many who still cared for him and loved him. All the people around him were proof of that, and Riley’s hand in his really cemented it.
She had said yesterday that she was his family, forever, and that he would never lose her. Usually, when people said words like those to him, it came across as fake reassurances because no one could honestly promise that. But when Riley had said that to him while holding him close, he’d felt safe and was instantly reassured because, unlike everyone else, he knew without a doubt that she meant it.
She had proven it time and time again, always by his side even when she probably shouldn’t have been, always telling him she was with him, that he wasn’t alone, and always backing up her words with actions to prove it.
So even though there was a deep ache within him about always losing family, he knew he wasn’t alone. Riley simply wouldn’t allow it.
Mac’s heart warmed at the thought.
Feeling calmer and much more grounded, he watched everyone else put their brick down with his hand securely in Riley’s, his mind peacefully in the moment.
They finished up the wall soon enough, and though there were tears in her eyes, Charlene smiled at everyone as she said, “thanks everyone, it really means a lot to see Auntie's legacy in the community, even when she’s no longer here.”
Mac nodded, once again grateful for Riley’s steady presence, and blinking a few tears away, Charlene continued. “The only thing she loved more than a good book was chatting with family and friends over food, so please -” she gestured to a table covered with food and drinks “- help yourselves, and thank you again for coming out today and celebrating Auntie Pamela's life.”
The crowd broke up, some heading over to talk to Charlene, some towards the table, and the children sprinted back to resume their game of kicking around a ball.
Knowing Riley would hold his hand for as long as he needed, giving him silent support, he squeezed her hand once before letting go, feeling much more stable now.
He cleared his throat then smiled warmly at her.
“Hungry?”
She nodded enthusiastically.
“Oh yeah. That breakfast was good but it was too far in the past for my liking.”
“In that case,” Bozer added from Mac's other side, “you have to try Auntie Sylvia’s homemade samosas. They're heavenly,” and turning to his parents, asked, “she did bring them, right?”
Lauretta laughed as they made their way towards the table. “She brings them to every occasion, and considering Pamela loved them, she made a double batch.”
Bozer smiled, and turning to Riley, said, “seriously, you have to try them.”
Reaching the table, Riley scanned all the food and replied, “oh trust me, I’m trying everything.”
Lauretta laughed at her enthusiasm and they all loaded their plates and filled their cups with steaming coffee, chatting with others while doing so.
Standing to the side, they dug in, loving every single thing on their plates. Mac smiled as he chewed on his bite while Lauretta told a story about Auntie.
Mac knew she would’ve wanted the event to go like this, with everyone eating, chatting, and just genuinely enjoying themselves.
Milton walked off to join Auntie’s brothers, and Lauretta was about to do the same when she turned to Riley and said, “Wilt said that you do stuff with computers, right?”
Riley nodded, and swallowing her bite, said, “yeah.”
Bozer had told them that his mom had figured out what they really did, so he was interested to see where this was going.
Presumably seeing the looks on their faces though, Lauretta chuckled and said, “don’t worry, I’m not asking y’all to spill state secrets! I just mentioned it because Jana, one of the teens in Pamela’s reading group, wants to go into that field and I was hoping you had some pearls of wisdom for her.”
Riley laughed.
“Well I don’t know about pearls of wisdom, but I can give advice on what she can do to help her get into it,” and chuckling lightly, added, “and what not to do.”
Mac looked at her with a smile, knowing she was referring to her time in jail and what she’d done to get in there.
“Yeah, as much as I respect you, maybe she shouldn’t exactly follow your footsteps.”
Riley and Bozer laughed while Lauretta narrowed her gaze at Riley.
“Given that I, unofficially of course, know what y’all actually do, I’m not sure I want to know what Angus means by that, even if I was allowed to know.”
Bozer laughed.
“Let’s just say, you don’t want to get on her bad side.”
Riley just shrugged, clearly hiding a smile, and Lauretta said, “okaaay then, I’m not too sure if you should be giving Jana advice now.”
Mac knew she was joking, but he immediately said, “nah, Riley’s a good role model. In fact,” he said smiling proudly at her, “she’s currently leading a whole group of people, teaching them about how to use tech for good,” and turning to Lauretta, added, “she’s actually quite qualified to give advice.”
Riley smiled warmly at him, her eyes lighting up, and Lauretta chuckled lightly.
“I figured as much,” and turning to Riley, added, “I definitely don't know you as well as my boys here, but I pride myself on being a good judge of character and regardless of your past, I can tell you're one of the good ones, Riley.”
Mac definitely had to agree with that, and Riley seemed slightly surprised yet pleased.
“Well, I do try. Thank you.”
Lauretta warmly smiled at her before walking to join her husband, and spinning to face the group of teens, Riley asked, “so which one’s Jana?”
Bozer laughed.
“I’ll intro you,” and turning to him, asked, “you coming, Mac?”
He shook his head because even though he was feeling okay, he felt like being by himself for a while.
“Nah, I'm going to sneak as much of this food onto my plate while no one’s looking.”
They laughed, and seeming to understand he wanted a moment, walked off towards the group of teens.
True to his word, Mac surveyed the table before adding two samosas, some coffee cake, and a mini-pizza looking thing onto his plate, because one of the many talents of the Bozer family was that they were great cooks.
Carefully making his way through the game of soccer with a filled plate, Mac sat down on a bench at the edge of the field and looked around, taking in the legacy Auntie had left behind her. There were many people, cups and plates in hand, reading messages on the bricks, a group, including Bozer and his parents, chatting by the food, and as well as children happily running around, Riley was laughing and talking with the group of teens.
Mac wondered what kind of legacy he'd leave behind, or, the more pressing matter, if he'd actually leave one. Everything he'd done of note was highly classified and couldn't be talked about, and while he wasn't the only one who had that issue, Bozer had his movie success as his legacy and Riley had The Brink.
Outside of work, what did he have?
Footsteps getting closer pulled Mac out of his thoughts, and he smiled as Milton came and sat in the empty space next to him.
“Those samosas living up to their reputation?”
Mac nodded, swallowing the bite he'd mindlessly been chewing.
“Oh yeah, they’re great. Can’t believe I’ve never had them before.”
Milton chuckled.
“Well Sylvia discovered the recipe recently and I have to admit, everyone’s been grateful for that.”
They chuckled, falling into a comfortable silence, and after taking a sip of his coffee, he asked, “Desi couldn’t make it?”
Mac suddenly realised he hadn’t even considered asking Desi to come with him, she’d probably assumed he’d want to do this by himself, but answered, “yeah, she had something at work and I didn’t want to take her away from it.”
Milton nodded, then after a pause, asked, “so did you think about what I said?”
Mac stared back, having no clue about what he was referring to.
He lightly chuckled. “What I was saying about you and your coping mechanisms.”Ah, that. “I know you didn’t reply then because of the situation we were in, which was why I let it slip, but I care about you Angus, and that’s just not healthy. You should at least tell someone how you feel, son.” He gave him an understanding look. “I’m not asking you to tell me, but just unbottling what’s happening inside your head can make a huge difference.”
Mac’s heart warmed at the genuine concern Bozer’s dad had for him, but although he knew Milton was completely right, he didn’t know how to change, and frankly, didn’t know if he could.
Mac searched for a way he could evade the topic, when it suddenly hit him that he had actually told someone, and that, like Milton had said, it had made him feel much less burdened, and much lighter.
Usually Mac didn’t like people telling him how to handle his grief, god knows he’d done it too many times already, but he knew that Milton genuinely just wanted what was best for him, after all, he’d been Mac’s father figure for much longer than his real dad.
So even though he usually didn’t care to explain himself, he didn’t mind telling Milton, “I actually talked to someone yesterday, and like you said,” he added with a smile, “I felt a lot better after they listened and were there with me.”
Milton smiled proudly at him, then after a pause, asked, “it wouldn’t have happened to be Riley, would it?”
Mac stared at him
“How did you know?”
“I’m a detective, Angus,” he said with a dry tone, “besides,” he added with a warm look, “I can tell that you two are close.”
Mac nodded, that was a fair enough assessment, and they fell into a comfortable silence while watching everyone.
A few moments later though, Milton lightly cleared his throat.
“Now that I know you took my last piece of advice,” he said, “I have another pearl of wisdom to hand out that I'm sure will take you a few years to process and understand,” he finished with a teasing yet warm tone.
“Let's hear it then,” Mac laughed, knowing that he probably wasn't wrong.
He smiled at him before pausing, and seeming to think carefully about his words, simply said, “accept change.”
Mac frowned. That was vague and short, especially coming from Milton who usually had more to say, but clearly he’d thought that too soon.
“Change is hard, and god knows that you’ve had enough change to last a lifetime, most of that,” he added with a huff of laughter, “quite frankly not for the best.”
They both chuckled at that, but Milton’s smile faded as he continued. “Because of that, I know you try and keep a lot in your life the same, you know first hand how change can lead to something negative so you try and make sure that that doesn’t happen, even if things are no longer working for you or if something which is more suited to the person who you are now is out there.”
Mac nodded, trying to understand where Milton was going with this.
“I know that, understandably, it’s hard for you, but try not to resist change.”
Mac frowned. Though he knew Milton was right, he did tend to avoid change wherever he could, the advice seemed specific and he couldn’t pinpoint what had sparked it.
Seeing his confusion, Milton smiled kindly at him.
“Like I said, it might take you a few years -” Mac huffed out laughter “- but I'll let you ponder it,” and smiling warmly at him, walked back to join everyone else.
Mac smiled as he walked off then stared blankly at his plate.
Accept change.
What did he mean by that?
Obviously there was the face value meaning of not resisting whatever curveballs life threw his way but while that was good advice in of itself, Mac knew Milton well and knew there had to be more than that.
“What did that food do to you?”
Mac startled slightly, jerking his head up, and Riley laughed apologetically.
“Sorry, Mac, didn’t mean to startle you,” and sitting in the recently emptied space, asked, “you okay?”
He laughed. “Yeah I’m okay, just pondering some advice Bozer’s dad gave me.”
“Anything you wanna share?”
Mac looked at her for a moment before shaking his head.
“Nah. Maybe later though,” he added, and Riley nodded, smiling easily as she took a sip of her coffee.
Mac smiled. That was what he loved about her. Anyone else would’ve tried to get him to talk, and even if they’d said they didn’t mind him not sharing, he knew that they wouldn’t have meant it. But he knew without a doubt that Riley did, and because of that, he probably would tell her later. Right now though, he wanted to mull over the advice in his own head before saying it out loud, and without him saying that, Riley got it.
Gesturing to the remaining samosa on his plate, she said with a grin, “those are great, right?”
Mac laughed, the last of his reflective mood fading away as he held the plate out to her. “Go for it.”
She chuckled, giving him a thankful smile as she took a bite, and talking around the food in her mouth, said, “I should get the recipe from Sylvia.”
“Oh yes, that’d be great,” and as they got up and started walking back, he added, “I’m sure Bozer would love to get this recipe as well.”
Riley nodded as she finished up her samosa. “Yeah, that’s probably the better idea. I have no shame admitting Boze is a better cook than me, besides, I know he’d want to put it in that family cookbook he wants to write.”
“Oh yeah, I remember him talking about that,” Mac said. “Do you know how many recipes he has for it?”
Riley chuckled.
“Just one so far.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Let me guess, his Christmas pastrami?”
Riley's eyes lit up in laughter, but as she opened her mouth, Bozer suddenly popped up next to him, walking with them.
“Did someone mention my world famous pastrami?”
Mac and Riley looked at each other with a grin as she said, “we were just talking about that family cookbook of yours,” and reaching over him to steal a cookie from Bozer's plate, added, “there’s probably a lot of good recipes you could get from here to include.”
Mac listened, happy and relaxed, as the two of them discussed which recipes from today were best, and when there was a pause in their conversation, Mac heard himself say, “I need a hobby.”
With the idea of leaving a legacy behind as well as Milton’s advice, Mac figured it was a good idea, because even though he couldn’t decipher exactly what the advice had been about, Mac figured a hobby was a good start.
“Something outside of work,” he clarified.
Riley and Boze, being the amazing friends that they were, took his statement in stride and instead of questioning why he’d had the sudden urge, nodded approvingly and started listing options.
“Well I’ve been thinking about doing rock climbing, so maybe we could go together,” Riley suggested. “But because of the heights thing, maybe you could try something like mountain biking, or, oooh,” Riley added, finishing off her cookie, “maybe something more along the lines of welding or glass blowing.”
“Oh I love watching glass blowing videos,” Bozer cut in. “They’re so satisfying to watch,” and turning to him, added, “I feel like you’d enjoy it.”
Mac nodded, that actually seemed pretty fun.
“What else could you do?” Bozer asked, immediately answering himself with, “oooh, maybe you could write a book on your hacks to hack the world? Or,” he added excitedly, “you could help me scribe and publish my family cookbook,” but quickly turning to him, added, “though maybe you should stay away from the actual cooking part.”
Mac and Riley burst into laughter, and as they walked to join Bozer’s parents, he said, “yeah, probably a smart call.”