Work Text:
Jiang Cheng associated calls from his mother with a lot of things.
Dread, for one. Anger, for another. Usually, it was a healthy concoction of the two.
Glee, however?
There was a word—much less a feeling—he had never associated with the esteemed Yu Ziyuan. Especially not after years of therapy especially dedicated to dealing with his relationship with his parents.
But when he picked up the phone and put it to his ear, his usual mixture of dread and anger in his gut, and his mother said, "It's time you got married," Jiang Cheng immediately felt his feelings morph into glee.
He replied, keeping his voice carefully neutral, "I'll think about it," while Wei Ying watched him with a concerned look on his face from across the diner table.
He hung up, waving a hand at Wei Ying's all but soft, "A-Cheng." It was a group dinner night, and that was possibly the only reason his brother wasn't pushing harder. His sister shot him an equally concerned look from the end of the table, and instead of waving her away like he had his brother, he smiled reassuringly.
Then he went back to staring at his plate, his head whirring.
Don't get him wrong, Jiang Cheng very much did not want to get married because his mother deemed it proper for him to, and called him in the middle of dinner to tell him so. He very much did not want to get married in general, because after years of disastrous dating experiences with people of all genders, he had finally figured out that he was doing very well alone. In fact, the thought of not being alone, of liking someone else romantically made him kind of nauseated.
(That had been a different kind of night all together, when he had called his older brother and said, "I think there is something wrong with me," and Wei Ying had, after a moment, said, "I am getting ice cream and jiejie. We're due for a dinner," and they had spent the night eating jiejie's chocolate caramel fudge ice cream and crying into ice cream bowls shaped like ducks because Lan Huan sucked at presents and Nie Huaisang had decided to go ahead and say "Bet you're never gonna use them," and well. No one in their family took challenges well.)
Here was the thing, though. Jiang Cheng wasn't going to get a better opportunity to disappoint his mother.
Yes, therapy had helped him realise that if he sought satisfaction from his parents' reaction to anything he did, he was setting himself up for disappointment. But, well. He had Wei Ying as a sibling. He couldn't be blamed for wanting to incite a little chaos.
And now to think of the most chaotic option.
He took a bite of his noodles and chewed thoughtfully.
He could always come out to his mother as aromatic. But well, he couldn't help but feel that she would—ignore it. Tell him to get over himself and find someone, or she'd find someone for him. And it would just annoy her a little, and that would be more frustrating than funny. Besides, he really did not want to be vulnerable to his mother.
He could lie and tell her that he was gay. But honestly, after Wei Ying had married Lan Zhan, it wouldn't horrify her as much as it could have.
He ran his eyes across the table. After crossing out his siblings and their partners, there were five people left. Lan Huan and his partners would have made for a fun enough reaction but it honestly wasn't worth getting caught up in. Mianmian and Nie Huaisang wouldn't be as fun, even though both of them would probably agree for the sake of fucking with his mother.
He needed someone more chaotic, someone that would make his mother regret ever asking him to get married, someone—
The door opened with a jingle, and the chatter on their table grew louder as half of them turned to greet the harried looking Wen Qing followed by her brother as she beelined for their table.
"Sorry, sorry," she was saying as she pulled off her gloves, "apparently some idiots decided to race their cars and had an accident, and guess whom they needed to stay—why are you staring at me?"
That was directed to Jiang Cheng, whose brain had started whirring faster, because the only thing his mother would hate more than him being married to a man was him being married to Wen.
"Wen Qing," he said, "how would you like to give my mother heart palpitations and get some tax benefits?"
He was a lawyer. He knew how to be persuasive.
The table went very, very quiet. He spared a glance for his siblings, who were staring at him wide-eyed.
Wen Qing cocked her head, "I'm listening."
*****
His siblings, along with most of the people on the table, were still staring at him forty minutes later, when he rang his mother and put her on speaker.
"Jiang Cheng," his mother's voice crackled, "I have found some eligible—".
"No need, mother," he said, "I have already decided on someone."
The line went quiet for a second, and then, "Oh? Who is she?"
The decisive pronoun almost made him regret not choosing a guy. But well.
"Oh, you know her," he said, and he thought a bit of the glee was evident, "You remember Wen Qing?"
The line went quiet again. And then.
"No."
"You're invited," Jiang Cheng said, "If you can make it here tomorrow. Why don't you check flight tickets, mother?"
He hung up.
It was quiet for a moment. Then, Wei Ying's shoulders started shaking.
Lan Zhan's lips twitched.
Wei Ying burst into giggles. He gasped out, "Eligible—" and then Jiang Cheng was laughing too. Along with pretty much everyone else.
Once he could breathe (although Wei Ying was still laughing), he leaned across the table to where Wen Qing sat next to his brother.
He offered her a fist. She bumped it.