Chapter Text
"Balloon… monsoon... A balloon in a monsoon, on a June afternoon…"
Jervis sat curled up with his back against the wall, muttering to himself. He was trying to keep himself from floating away.
Jonathan had asked him what that meant, once, and Jervis couldn't explain it. He had tried to find the words, but they came out as just another nonsensical string of rhymes.
After that, Jonathan gave up on asking. Instead, he would simply sit down next to Jervis, and let Jervis hold his hand.
When Jervis was like this, reality didn't feel real; it felt fluid and abstract, like he was looking at it reflected through a fun house mirror.
Through the looking glass .
"Are we in Wonderland, Jonathan?"
There was a heavy silence for several moments, before the young man answered. "Do you want us to be?"
"I don't know," said Jervis, his voice britte, little. "I don't rightly know what answer brings more woe."
"That's okay," said Jonathan, and gave Jervis' hand a squeeze. "It's okay if you don't know."
Jervis nodded weakly.
When the world was like this, Jervis felt less real, too. It felt like he was hollow and formless, like there was nothing inside him, nothing to weigh him down.
The rhyming helped. It felt grounding, like lead in his shoes that helped him stick to solid ground.
"Weather, together…"
He paused for a moment. "A boat in stormy weather, the crew all die together. And on the dockside… dockside…" he felt his breath growing more shallow. "Dockside…"
He was floating away he was going to float away he couldn't think -
"Carbon monoxide?" Jonathan piped up.
"Carbon monoxide!" He beamed at Jonathan, grateful and jubilant. "Spraying carbon monoxide on the Gotham dockside! On the heavy smoke, the people all choke."
Jonathan smiled back at him, but his eyes looked sad and worried. He squeezed Jervis' hand tightly in his. Maybe he's worried I'll float away, too, Jervis thought.
That thought made him feel less alone.