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Jolyon released a breath he’d been holding for a shot as he felt Petra settle back into the space beside him. It had only been a few minutes since she had so graciously delivered Mara’s orders to not attempt to contact Uldren. He closed his eyes. Not Uldren. ‘Crow’. “You said what you came to say,” said the Awoken man as he gazed through his rifle’s scope down the field. “Not sure what else there is to talk about.”
He offered up the rangefinder once again, regardless.
“Huh?” An unfamiliar voice replied as the rangefinder was swiped from the sniper’s hand. “Oh. Yeah. Ha. I’m not Petra. Wind’s 15kph from your 8, though.”
Jolyon’s shoulders tensed. He kept his sights down the range, but he was suddenly very aware of the space between himself and this uninvited guest. “And who might you be?”
“Name’s Nyx. I'm an Iron Lord. Friend of Petra’s. We go way back,” said the man on the other side of Jolyon’s rifle. “You gonna shoot, or…?”
Jolyon slowly turned from the massive scope of the Supremacy to appraise his would-be spotter. Awoken. Mischievous look in his eyes. Hair too perfect to have come from under a helmet. Sleeves of his jacket pulled taut around a very fine tuned athletic frame. Under other circumstances, Jolyon might’ve been flustered by the man’s proximity, given his... all of that. “Not unless you give me a reason to.”
‘Nyx’ smirked, obviously catching the meaning, and held his hands up in mock surrender. “Just came here to talk. I overheard Queen God-complex and Petra talking earlier. Didn’t sit right with me. Figured I’d come and give my own two glimmer.”
“You do sound like you enjoy talking,” said Jolyon, setting the safety of his rifle back into place. “And what, exactly, have you come to tell me?”
Nyx turned his gaze to the space around him as if searching for an audience to a presumed joke. “...isn’t it obvious? I’m here to talk about Uldren.”
Jolyon tensed once again, though was controlled enough to hide it in a shift of his weight on the ground. He had resolved to not think on Petra’s confirmation of the rumours until it was absolutely necessary. Not the best coping mechanism, but he’d seen worse. It seemed he wouldn’t be allowed that reprieve.
Jolyon rose to a seat and let his rifle transmat back into place. “Alright. What about him?”
“Obviously Petra confirmed the rumours.”
“Obviously,” Jolyon said, shrugging a shoulder.
“Wild, right? Raised as a Guardian after getting gunned down like a thrall. Pun somewhat intended.”
Jolyon clenched his jaw. “Did you have anything to share besides your observation of it being ‘crazy’?”
“Sure, yeah, just making small talk,” said the visitor. “I killed him, you know. Uldren.”
Jolyon nearly choked. “...you what?”
“Yeah,” said the other man casually. He mimed aiming down the barrel of a hand cannon. “Shot him in the throat from about five paces for killing my best friend.”
All at once, Jolyon realised whom he was talking to. Not just any Lightbearer but the Lightbearer. The one that had been there at the Prison of Elders with Petra and the Exo, Cayde-6, during Uldren’s escape with his Scorned barrons. The same one that killed Oryx and Crota before him and Xol after him, among dozens of others. Who he now knew had added Uldren to that list.
Jolyon’s mind tumbled through a mess of thoughts and emotions as if the other man wasn’t still sitting there. He’d lost Uldren before he died. He’d lost Uldren years before then, really. Taken from him by madness and manipulation to the point that, in the end, Uldren didn’t even recognise him anymore. Subconsciously he reached for the plate of armour above his chest, as if he meant to reach past it and take hold of his heart to keep it from racing. Bile rose up in the back of his throat unbidden. Though they had never met, a part of him hated this man in front of him now for what he had done. But at the end of the day...what did this Lightbearer do other than put the final nail in an already sealed coffin?
“Take your time,” said Nyx after the stretch of silence.
“Is there a point to this?” Jolyon snapped.
“There is,” said the Awoken Lightbearer, and despite having worn nothing but the expression of a grinning fox, he saw the man’s expression soften. “How much do you know about Guardians? Or Lightbearers in general?”
“Enough to know you can be allies as easily as you can be enemies.”
The Awoken man--a Hunter from the looks of him--chuckled. “Ha. Yeah, you got me there. But what I meant was how we’re made. What we are.”
“You’re reborn as someone else,” said Jolyon, regurgitating what he’d learned about the paracausal beings of light. “No memories, fresh slate,” Jolyon shrugged. “You’re some aspect of the Traveller living in someone else’s dead body.”
“Ehhhhhhhh….” Nyx made a non-committal noise and wavered a hand in the air. “There’s room for debate on that, but the point is that yes--we’re a fresh slate. Everything from before is wiped clean. Memories, experiences, all of it. The way I see it, it’s like...the big golf ball in the sky sends a Ghost out to flip our reset button and we’re brought back to our core, if that makes any sense. It’s like doing a clean install of the same OS on a computer. You’re still running Windows 84 or whatever but now all the files are gone and your memory is freed up.”
Jolyon blinked. “Windows...84?”
“Not important,” said Nyx with a dismissive wave. “The point is, yeah, we get a do-over...but who we are is still who we are, you know? Like...what our ideals are, which way our moral compass points, who we love and how we love. I dunno who I was before I was Nyx, but I’m sure I was a sarcastic asshole. And I’m sure I would have found both Petra and you super hot.”
Jolyon might’ve appreciated the compliment from someone else under other circumstances. “So what are you trying to tell me? That ‘Crow’ is just as mad as Uldren?”
The other man blinked. “No. Dude. Are you listening? Imagine if Uldren got a fresh start. No Black Garden, no--yeah I read the files, calm down,” Nyx silenced Jolyon before he could protest. “Imagine if his sister hadn’t ever been the most toxic being in the universe. Which is saying something. I’ve met Savathun.”
The dots began to connect in the back of Jolyon’s mind. It must have been clear on his face as the Lightbearer continued.
“I know Crow. Really well, actually. Strangely...guy’s probably the closest thing to a best friend I’ve had since Cayde.” The Lightbearer smirked, but there was a sadness in the curl of his lips. “It honestly makes me sad I never knew Uldren before. Crow is…” The Lightbearer looked skyward as if searching for a word hidden in the clouds. “Good. Truly and purely good. He’s kind. He’s selfless. He’s a protector and a provider. He puts others’ safety before his own, including our new Eliksni neighbours.”
Jolyon felt a swell of something within him that he’d later realise was hope. “He is...close with the Eliksni?”
“Oh yeah,” the Lightbearer confirmed. “He’s been a bit of a guardian angel for them recently. He’s the best of us all, really. Some of us are so old that we forget what it means to be a Guardian. That we’re not just live-die-repeat soldiers for the Traveller, but symbols of hope and...you know, all of that other shit.”
Jolyon smiled, albeit weakly. “Hm. That certainly does sound like the old him.”
The Lightbearer nodded, despite not knowing if that were true or not. He was silent for a moment before continuing. “We’re not supposed to go looking into our pasts. For good reason, most of the time. Crow is better off not knowing who Uldren was. At least not yet. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t space for you in his life now.”
Jolyon’s lips parted as if to say something. To question how the other man would know anything of his feelings or relationship with Uldren, or what he could possibly want or feel about them now. The words never came, so the Lightbearer took it as his cue to continue.
“You guys were a thing, right? Back in the day?” The Lightbearer seemed to already know as he didn’t wait for confirmation. “It might not be what you guys had back then, and it might be a little confusing for both of you at first, but...take it from someone who has spent a few centuries with the love of their life just out of arm’s reach; don’t wait and sit on your hands because it’s not the right time or the right place or because you’re stubborn or whatever. Given all of the shit all of us face on a daily basis...there’s no reason to hold back. Is Uldren dead? Yeah. But he’s also alive again.”
Jolyon had never experienced a rollercoaster of emotions as he had talking to that Lightbearer. He half felt like he was still recovering from the whiplash of learning about Uldren’s death to not being encouraged to seek out this man’s once mortal enemy to….what, exactly? Ask him out on a date?
“You are, without a doubt, the strangest Lightbearer I have ever met,” Jolyon said after a long moment of introspective thought.
“Hey thanks,” said Nyx with a gambler’s grin.
Jolyon looked away from the other Awoken man and returned his gaze to the range that sprawled out before them. Memories came back to him then that challenged his resolve. “It feels odd saying this to you, given your history with Uldren, but...thank you. I don’t…” he bit his lip in thought. “I’ll need some time. To think all of this through.”
“I figured you might,” said Nyx. The man began digging into the pocket of his casual jacket before retrieving a small black stick. “This has my frequency on it. Reach out when you’re ready to...ya know. Reach out. I have a formal Vanguard request asking for your assistance at the H.E.L.M. back at the tower ready to submit.”
Jolyon was at a loss. “You got your Vanguard to support your playing match maker?”
“Huh? Oh yeah no, it’s forged. But not even Mara ‘I have a plan, but since I refuse to tell anyone you don’t really know if I have one so I could be lying and maybe I’m the real Savathun’ Sov could tell the difference.”
If Jolyon had been drinking, he’d have spit.
“Crow is a good man. So I have to imagine Uldren was at some point, too. Give him a chance.”
“...you’ve given me a lot to think about, Lightbearer.”
“Yyyyyyyep! No problem. It’s what I do. Slayer of gods. Mender of hearts.”
Jolyon scoffed. “Can you leave now?”
“Sure, yeah, sure. Can I give you just one compliment though? I just realised something through our whole conversation here.”
Jolyon raised a brow. “Go on.”
“I totally get what Uldren saw. Super cute butt.”
“You are insufferable.”
“No, I’m Nyx.”