Chapter Text
Carina felt a sigh of relief when she finally reached the front door. It had been a stressful shift in a number of ways and all she wanted to do was tug on her favourite hoodie of Maya’s and curl up on the couch.
Maya heard the front door open and close before she looked up and saw her wife’s retreating figure heading towards their bedroom.
That was unusual.
Carina never failed to greet Maya at least with a ‘hello’.
Concerned Maya followed Carina to their bedroom.
“Hey, rough shift?” Maya asked leaning against the doorway.
“Mhm, something like that.” She mumbled, immediately searching through their closet for the hoodie.
“What are you looking for?” Maya asked watching Carina, concern only growing.
“Your grey hoodie. Do you know where it is?”
“Babe I’m wearing it.” Maya said looking down at her hoodie.
“Oh.” Carina sighed, looking briefly at Maya for a second. “It’s okay, I’ll find something else.”
“Hey, here.” Maya said quickly pulling it over her head and handing it to Carina. She had forgotten that Carina liked to wear it when she’d had a rough day.
“Thank you.” Carina took it gratefully, pulling it over her head before changing into some sweats.
“Wanna talk about it?” Maya asked carefully. Sometimes if Carina had lost a mom she didn’t like to talk about it for a while.
“I’m good.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself and heading back towards the living room. “But thank you.”
Maya followed, waiting to see what Carina would want to do. From their last text the Italian had already eaten.
“Wine?” Maya asked finding the quiet in the living room uncomfortable. She’d been reading before Carina came home.
Carina shook her head. “Not for me, but you…you enjoy.” She curled into the corner of the couch, pulling the fluffy blanket over her legs.
Maya sat next to Carina, worry twisting her insides into knots. Carina looked so distraught.
“Come here.” Maya said, opening her arms in invitation.
Carina immediately tensed, freezing momentarily before moving towards Maya’s open arms.
Maya dropped her arms seeing Carina’s reaction. “What happened?” Maya asked sitting up.
“Nothing.” Carina jumped in, wincing at how harsh her voice sounded, even to her own ears.
“Sorry.” She blushed. “I’m just tired.”
Maya couldn’t hide the flinch that usually happened when Carina snapped. It was an involuntary by-product of her upbringing.
“Okay. Do you want to be alone?”
“I.” She paused, feeling tears well in her eyes. “Not really.”
“Okay. Whatever you need.” Maya said careful not to move closer to Carina.
Carina laid her head on the arm of the couch, turning on the tv. She hadn’t even seen what was playing, her mind elsewhere. Maya didn’t move for a while before reaching back to the table and picking up her book. Not that she was paying attention to it, too concerned with what was going on with Carina.
The buzz of Carina’s phone made her jump, glancing briefly at the caller id before cancelling the call. She didn’t feel much like talking.
“Carina…I’m worried.” Maya said finally. Maya was the queen of withdrawing when she didn’t want to talk but Carina was not.
“Hmm?” Carina turned to look at Maya. “Sorry I missed that.”
“I’m worried about you. You don’t ignore phone calls. Even if you don’t want to talk, you tell whoever is calling that you don’t want to talk.”
“I just didn’t feel like answering tonight.” She mumbled, hoping the phone would remain silent for now and they wouldn’t try and call Maya instead. Maya heard her phone go off where it lay charging on the kitchen counter. She cast one look back at Carina before standing to go get it.
“I think I’m going to go lay down.” Carina mumbled, getting up from the couch and heading to their bedroom.
Maya watched sadly before picking up her phone.
“Maya Bishop.”
“Maya? Oh thank god.” Teddy sounded relieved that she had picked up. “Is Carina home yet? I tried calling her cell but she never picked up.”
“Yeah she’s laying down. What the fuck happened?” Maya demanded keeping her voice low. Low and menacing.
“She didn’t tell you?” Teddy couldn’t hide her surprise.
“She won’t talk about it. What. Happened?” Maya channelled all the authority her Captain voice could muster. She needed to know. Teddy was immediately concerned for her best friend. Carina didn’t shut down like that. Not ever.
“Has she said anything at all?” Teddy didn’t want to overstep.
“Teddy I swear to God if you don’t tell me what happened I will come down to the hospital and I will pull it out of you.” Maya threatened.
“Now is really not the time for you to get pissed Maya. Maybe take a couple breaths and calm down please.”
“Teddy you have until I count to 3.” Maya warned. “1…”
“I don’t appreciate your tone Maya. I know you’re concerned, I am too, but being pissed isn’t going to help anyone.”
“Teddy she’s my wife. I can’t fix what I don’t know about. Tell me. Please.” Changing tactics Maya pleaded.
“Something happened at work. I don’t even know what exactly myself as she wouldn’t tell me. But I know it involved one of our stand-in medics. She went for her break in the Attendings lounge where he was and when she came out, she was white as a sheet and barely said a
word to me.”
“What? Did you ask him? I’ll kill him.” Maya said grabbing for her keys.
“Maya stop.” Teddy heard her grab her keys. “Don’t even think about coming down here. Carina needs you right now. She needs her supportive, loving wife, not the one who’s pissed and ready to murder the man who caused this.”
“She won’t let me touch her.” Maya said gripping her keys so tight her hand aches.
“Too soft?” Teddy guessed, knowing how Carina felt.
“Yeah. If he touched her Teddy…” Maya knew she needed to stop her anger. Teddy was right. But the idea of anyone touching Carina filled her with a rage unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
“Take some deep breaths and calm yourself down.” Teddy instructed. “I can assure you, he will be dealt with properly and he won’t get away with whatever he did. But the only way that’s going to happen is if you’re calm enough and make Carina feel safe enough to tell you what happened.”
“Okay. I’ll call you later.” Maya said hanging up before waiting for Teddy to say anything. She needed to go to Carina.
------
The bedroom was dark when she went inside but she could make out the silhouette of her wife laying with her back to her.
“Hey…”
Carina wiped her eyes when she heard Maya come in. “Who was on the phone?” she had heard it ring.
“Teddy. Can I come closer?” Maya asked still standing in the doorway.
“You’re my wife, you don’t have to ask that.”
“Yes I do.” Maya said, walking to the bed slowly. Circling around the bed so that Carina could see her, and then knelt down so she was eye level with Carina. She knew better than to climb on the bed and try and hold her. At least without permission.
Carina couldn’t help the tears that leaked from her eyes. Tracking quickly down her cheeks. “I don’t deserve someone as wonderful as you.”
“You deserve the world babe. I hate seeing you so sad. Let me help.” Maya said brushing the tears away from Carina’s cheek.
“You know i’d never cheat you on you right?” Carina let her eyes meet Maya’s briefly.
“Of course I know that.” Maya said immediately. She didn’t have any doubt of it. Even if the old Maya might have.
“Good, because I promise I’d never do that do that. Not on purpose.”
“What do you mean not on purpose? You know you can tell me anything baby” Maya’s brain was already forming a picture of what might have happened and she was infuriated and trying so hard to hide it.
“We have this guy at work. He’s standing in for Tom this week.” She started, fiddling with the sleeve of the hoodie.
“Okay.” Maya encouraged, reaching out and offering her hand to Carina. Where she might have just taken it in the past, now was the time for permission and patience. Carina took her hand, taking comfort in Maya’s touch.
“He’s been dropping hints all week that he’s into me, but I’m told him very clearly that I’m married and not interested.”
“He didn’t take your hints.” It wasn’t a question. “What did he do Carina?”
“I was getting my coffee today and before I knew it, he’d come up behind me, right up into my space.”
“I’ll kill him.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.
“Maya, don’t...please.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Maya apologized quickly.
“It’s okay. You don’t need to say sorry for that.”
“What else?” Maya probed, swallowing her anger as best she could.
“He pressed himself against me. I could Feel him against me.” She shuddered at the memory.
“What else?” Maya asked sensing there was more.
“He tried to kiss me..put his hands on me.”
“Carina…” Maya ached to touch her wife, hold her tightly to protect her and keep her safe but she didn’t know if she could.
“Are you mad?” She wished Maya would come closer, so she knew she wasn’t.
“Mad? Why would I be mad? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Maya stood quickly and joined Carina on the bed. Laying next to her and leaving the invitation for Carina to come to her.
Carina buried herself in Maya’s arms, crying more freely now.
Wrapping her arms tightly around Carina as if her arms could protect Carina from anything and everything.
“I’m so sorry this happened baby. But I’m here, no one will hurt you. No one will touch you.” Maya promised.
“How do you know that?” She sounded fearful.
“I won’t let them.” Maya stated.
Carina cried into Maya’s chest, pulling herself closer.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Maya comforted. Running her hand through Carina’s hair hoping to relax the brunette.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Teddy said he’s being dealt with. But if I had my way…” Maya remembered she needed to be comforting not angry.
“She did? What did she say?”
“He’s been fired. And Teddy just said he was dealt with. But I’ll make sure he’s long gone from that building before you have to go back to work.” Maya reassured.
“He said no one would ever believe me. Especially since I’m bi.”
“We all believe you. I believe you, Teddy, and Miranda will to. He’s a disgusting excuse of a man. Don’t pay attention to anything he said.” Carina visibly relaxed her tense frame hearing Maya say that. She’s been worrying about that since he said it.
“I love you.” Maya whispered.
“Im sorry.” Carina felt more tears spill down her cheeks as guilt consumed her.
“What are you apologizing for?”
“All of this Maya.”
“What? The fact that some asshole sexually harassed you and you’re upset? You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Okay.” She mumbled, not having the energy to argue.
“I need you to believe it Carina. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Maya said looking at Carina hoping she might be able to get her to believe it.
“I know.” She whispered quietly.
“Do you?
“Mhm.”
“You don’t sound convinced. Just resigned.”
Carina shrugged, her pale face highlighted by the moonlight shining through the windows.
“How about you sleep. We can talk about it in the morning? I just need to call Teddy and let her know you’re okay.” Maya said moving to get up. She’d left her phone in the kitchen.
“Can that wait?” She clung to Maya, not wanting her to go.
“Of course, absolutely… i’m staying right here.” Maya settled back into the bed. Carina didn’t normally cling like this.
“Thank you.” She hated feeling so needy, but she needed her wife right now.
“You don’t have to thank me. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Carina hoped Maya’s love would be enough to help her heal.