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everything that i want (but didn't think i'd find)

Summary:

Combat medic, Izzy, worked side by side with her pilot brother, Alec, to ensure the safety of the country and the most important people in their lives; their family.

Alec was starting a family with Magnus—a man Izzy never imagined her brother ending up with—and when the opportunity for them to get married on short notice during Izzy and Alec's summer block leave, Izzy couldn't have been happier for them. Izzy and Alec would make their way home to celebrate the momentous occasion and Izzy could leave everything behind without a second thought like she had when she was eighteen.

Falling in love with Magnus' sister, Clary, was never part of her plan and that threw her off kilter.

Chapter 1

Notes:

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2021: Presented by the Malec Discord Server.

Special thanks to my amazing beta, Izzi, for being there to catch all my mistakes and deal with the amount of procrastination I put into this fic.

There is wonderful art to accompany this fic that can be found here. My amazing artist is the talented Mia who brought the final scene of this fic to life and I couldn't be more grateful to have worked with her.

Both my beta and artist participated as writers in this bang as well!! Check out Izzi's fic here and Mia's fic here!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Relax, big brother,” Izzy said as she rested a hand on Alec’s bouncing knee, patting it with a comforting force that had Alec finally glancing away from the window. He ran a hand over his face and craned his neck to try and see the front of the plane. 

“It’s been six months, Iz. What if he…” Alec trailed off as his knee started nervously bouncing again. Izzy gripped a little tighter, pushing her nails into his skin. Alec pulled his knee away the best he could in the cramped space, glaring at Izzy. She smiled sweetly in response and stood as the flight attendants announced that military personnel could exit the plane. Alec shot up in his seat, banging his head against the overhead compartment. Izzy held back the snort of laughter at his eagerness.  

“He is going to be waiting with a no-doubt embarrassing sign that you won’t be able to care about because you’ll be too busy kissing his handsome face,” Izzy reasoned as she grabbed Alec’s duffel from above and tossed it at him. He rolled his eyes and pushed his way in front of her as she grabbed her own pack and followed after him closely as they wandered through the airport. She didn’t really know how to help Alec at that moment because she couldn’t even imagine how nervous he was.

It had been six months since they had seen their family and friends. Of course Izzy had missed them, but she didn’t miss anyone as much as Alec had missed Magnus. Their letters back and forth weren’t enough for them considering how much they loved each other, that much Izzy knew. She held Alec while he cried over their distance too many times to not see how much their deployment had affected him. She only hoped that Magnus had someone to help him through the way Alec did. 

“Is it normal for my heart to be beating this fast?” Alec asked as they made their way through the crowds of people. Izzy laughed and patted Alec on the shoulder when the bustle of the airport came into view. 

“You’re about to see your fiance after six months away. Everything you are feeling is perfectly normal, big brother,” Izzy affirmed softly, holding on to her brother’s arm as they followed the exit signs. 

Izzy’s own heart was beating fast, ready to see her friends and family again, especially with such a fun-filled summer in front of them. If she was honest, she really didn’t think it was going to be so hard to be away from them for so long. It wasn’t unusual for people to go off to college, take jobs in other states, or just have other things going on that made visiting daily not easy, but Izzy’s family was different. She missed her little brother, her parents and Jace more than anything and couldn’t even imagine how much Alec was missing Magnus throughout their time away. 

“If I cry, you’re not allowed to make fun of me,” Alec warned with a deadly glare in Izzy’s direction. Izzy giggled and rolled her eyes as dramatically as she could, staring up at the ceiling for a little longer than necessary. 

“Same goes for you,” Izzy retorted. Alec looked down at her quizzically and Izzy tried not to be offended. She knew she wasn’t the most emotional person in the Lightwood family, but she did have a heart. And that heart missed everyone she was about to see. 

They reached the escalators and she felt Alec stiffen beside her. Izzy knew that if she followed his eye line, she would see Magnus in all of his glory and when she turned her head, she was right. Magnus had his back to the escalator, but there was no doubt it was him. His outfit was impeccable, as always, and his hair was perfectly quaffed in a way that Izzy was always impressed by. Alec gripped her arm tightly, almost painfully, and Izzy hissed. 

“God, just give me your pack and run like you want to,” Izzy said, holding out her hand. Alec didn’t have to think twice as he ran down the escalator, bypassing those already on it who stood leisurely as they awaited their destination. She could hear Alec apologize as he bumped into one of the men but as he was in full uniform, no one said a word about it. Magnus must have heard, though, and Izzy watched as he turned quickly, the brightest smile Izzy had ever seen on his face. 

“Magnus!” Alec yelled and Izzy could hear the grin in his voice. She fought back tears as Magnus sprinted the rest of the distance, launching himself into Alec’s arms and holding on like he would never let go. Izzy wished she knew how he felt. She stepped onto the escalator, both packs in her hands making it impossible to take unnecessary steps. 

“Alexander, Angel, it’s good to see you,” Magnus said softly, holding Alec’s face in his hands so delicately, Izzy thought her heart might explode. She watched them, her stomach flipping with every intimate touch and gentle kiss, and couldn’t stop herself from yearning for the same thing. As she walked toward them, she smiled widely, blushing as Alec spun Magnus in a circle, their lips never leaving each other. 

“I thought Magnus was exaggerating,” a voice chimed next to her. She looked over and was instantly stunned by bright red hair, beautiful green eyes, and a face that Izzy would swear she had seen in her dreams. She was momentarily speechless until the girl giggled happily, the sound like music to her ears. “You’re Izzy, right?” She asked and Izzy could only nod slowly, setting Alec’s bag on the floor. “I’m Clary, Magnus’ sister.”

“I didn’t know Magnus had a sister,” Izzy said dumbly. She shook her head as Clary’s face dropped. “I mean, I knew he had a sister, I just-- I didn’t realize she was you?” Clary’s smile was back on her face and Izzy was grateful for it. 

Magnus had talked about his sister, the family that took him in after he lost his own, but last Izzy knew, she was in Europe for some prestigious art scholarship. Izzy hadn’t gotten the chance to meet her and she cursed whatever god decided this would be their first time seeing each other. 

Izzy didn’t mind her uniform. She knew that most people liked the military look; it stood for patriotism, bravery, and strength to those that respected it. Izzy had loved what she signed up to do. Being a combat medic was a dream of Izzy's ever since she was rescued by one during the scariest accident she had ever experienced. On that day, her father had taken her to see the most incredible aircrafts the United States military had to offer, and it was like all of the pieces of her life fell into place. She enlisted the minute she could and had never regretted her decision. 

But she had much more to offer physically than the uniform showed. It didn’t show off her curves or lean and long legs and she couldn’t even think about the tight bun plastered low on her scalp. She wished the first time she met Clary would’ve been at one of the fancy parties Magnus always threw where she looked like a million bucks. 

“I graduated this year and as much as I loved Rome, I couldn’t wait to come back and see my family.” Izzy knew exactly how she felt. Before she could respond, arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her off of her feet. She squealed in surprise and delight and kicked her legs as they were lifted off the ground. 

“Magnus!” Izzy shouted, holding onto the hands around her waist. When he put her down, she turned and surged into his arms, holding back tears at how much she missed his touch. 

“Isabelle, oh how I’ve missed your beautiful face,” Magnus cooed, smoothing the top of her head with his palm. Izzy scoffed and felt herself blushing. It had been quite a while since someone had called her beautiful and even though Magnus was practically her brother, she could appreciate the compliment for what it was. 

“Just wait until the welcome home party. You’ll regret the Lightwood you chose,” Izzy teased with a wink in Magnus’ direction. She heard Alec’s offended gasp before he grabbed at Magnus’s hand to pull him into his side. Izzy figured it would be a few days before Alec let Magnus stray from him, but Izzy understood. 

“I would never regret agreeing to marry this Lightwood,” Magnus said, punctuating his words with a gentle kiss to Alec’s cheek. Alec was usually embarrassed by Magnus’ affinity toward public displays of affection, but he leaned into the kiss, pulling Magnus even closer to him. “And how did you know about the welcome home party?” Magnus said offendedly, glaring down at Izzy. 

Izzy just smiled and shrugged, her hands going to her hips. “We’ve been gone for six months. There’s no way you didn’t take the opportunity to throw a party,” Izzy reasoned, raising her eyebrows at Magnus. He huffed but didn’t say anything to argue, reaching for Alec’s bag on the ground. 

“Let’s get you both home and out of those uniforms, yeah?” Magnus said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Alec. That time, he did blush, glancing around at the people that had stopped to watch the reunion. It happened every time they went anywhere in uniform so Izzy had just gotten used to ignoring it. 

“How’s my apartment, Magnus? Did you ruin it while I was gone?” Izzy teased, pulling the straps of her bag as they started weighing heavier on her shoulders. Magnus rolled his eyes but Izzy could see the fondness in them. 

“Your flowers are watered, albeit there are a lot less of them, and your mail has been collected and sorted. I also painted the spare bedroom because that horrid green color made me want to puke every second I spent in it.” Izzy laughed and tossed her head back, the motion straining her back as she hissed. 

“Iz, will you please—“ 

“I got it,” Clary said, moving to block Izzy’s path and holding out her hands. Izzy caught her eye for a moment and figured out quickly that she was just like her brother. “You’re going to make all of these people that won’t stop staring believe that we’re making our two hard-working soldiers carry their own bags after years overseas?” Clary said as dramatically as she possibly could, if Izzy had to guess. 

“We’ve been gone for six months…” Alec muttered, but Magnus rolled his eyes and took his bag and Izzy would be stupid to deny the woman in front of her. She pulled the backpack off of her shoulders and held it out to Clary, narrowing her eyes slightly when the redhead’s smile widened even more. 

“My brother was right,” she commented as she slid her arms in the loops, bending down enough so Izzy could rest the straps on her shoulders. 

“About?” Izzy asked, stretching out her now relieved muscles. 

“You Lightwoods really are suckers for a pretty face.”

Izzy snorted, “Especially one so conceited.” 

“You didn’t deny that you think I’m pretty, though!” Clary pointed out excitedly as they exited the airport. Izzy was about to argue, but couldn’t stop herself from taking a deep breath of fresh air, grateful to be off of the plane they’d been stuck on for far too many hours. She closed her eyes and let the soft breeze hit her face for a moment before turning back to Clary who was grinning widely at her. 

“No, I didn’t,” Izzy said simply.

Somewhere from a few feet away, Izzy heard her brother mutter, “I knew introducing them was going to be a bad idea.”


“Alright, well, this is where we leave both of you!” Magnus sang, opening the trunk to pull out Izzy’s bags and Izzy’s bags only. She glared at him suspiciously, eyes darting between Magnus and Alec, who was staring down at the ground to avoid Izzy’s gaze. 

“Who is both of us?” Izzy asked. Clary hopped out of the car and waved her hand, an almost salute that her commanding officer would definitely not appreciate. 

“I should have known my brother wouldn’t have told you,” Clary accused, hip-checking Magnus who waved a dismissive hand in response. 

“Tell me what, Alec?” She asked, her eyes narrowing more and more each second as Alec sputtered at her. 

“We’re about to get married, Iz, and I haven’t seen my fiancé in months. We just wanted a little privacy before the wedding when all of our family starts intruding on our lives and then we leave after that…” He trailed off just as Clary pulled keys out of her pocket and unlocked the front door to her apartment building. 

“Hey, roomie, we should let these two lovebirds go while I show you what I’ve done to the place!” Clary commented, twirling the keys around her finger. 

“Oh, you are so lucky I think you need to get laid. You know that, right?” Izzy accused, pressing a finger to her brother’s chest. He pulled her into a tight hug and rested his chin on her head. She could feel it moving, no doubt warning Clary of something as a giant sigh erupted from behind her. 

“You guys act like I’m some teenager who doesn’t know how to look after herself,” Clary scoffed, skipping over to kiss Magnus and Alec on the cheek. She grabbed Izzy’s hand which surprised her enough to not make a sarcastic comment like she had wanted to before tugging them to the door. “I just reorganized the place a bit and made Alec’s room look less like a prison and more like a home!” 

“The only reason it looks like that is because I spend so much time at Magnus’ place,” Alec grumbled, kissing the top of Magnus’ head before they both got back into the car. Alec raised his eyebrows at his sister, a silent question that didn’t need to be said out loud, and Izzy nodded. 

“We’ll see you guys at the party, yeah?” Izzy asked, still not knowing many details but trusting that Magnus had figured every single one out. 

“Of course, darling, now you two behave!” Magnus demanded and Alec groaned, slamming his head back against the seat. When they drove off, Izzy decided not to think about the order, turning back to Clary who was holding the door open instead. 

“You haven’t totally destroyed the place with like paint and charcoal, right?” Izzy asked. 

“Destroyed is such a strong word, Isabelle!” Clary sang as she hopped up the steps. She reminded Izzy of a rabbit or a really happy puppy that didn’t have a negative bone in her body. It was… endearing, though she would never say that out loud. 

“If this is a repeat of the summer of 2012 disaster Magnus always talks about…”

Clary turned abruptly and shouted, “Hey, there are two sides to that story!” Izzy raised her eyebrows and held up her hands in defense, grinning at the little bit of emotion she had brought out in Clary. Just like her hair, she could be fiery and Izzy couldn’t wait to see more of it. “Besides, he’s my brother and he was gone for an entire three months. I’ve only been in your place for like two weeks. The only change is that my art supplies are around but I can always move them.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Clary. I’m really not too worried, it’s just… weird to have a roommate that isn’t my brother,” Izzy admitted as Clary unlocked the door to her apartment. Izzy stood frozen for a second because she barely recognized the place. Clary had rearranged the furniture so it was all stacked to one side, a few easels and canvases overtaking the space they once had. 

“I told you, I can—”

“No, no,” Izzy reassured, taking a deep breath. Alec was the one who would panic while Izzy had a cool head on her shoulders. That was their dynamic and she was sticking to it. “It’s really alright, just… surprising. You’ve got… a lot of stuff,” she said, walking over to the side of the living room littered with art. 

“Yeah, uh, most of it was at my mom’s but…” Izzy instantly felt her annoyance disappear, sympathy taking its place. 

It was only a few months ago that Magnus and Clary had lost their mother in a car accident. Alec hadn’t gotten the letter until after the funeral was over and done with and Izzy had to try and ease the guilt he felt. It was tough on Magnus to not have his fiancé there and Clary could only take enough time away from art school to attend the funeral and move her stuff—apparently, to Izzy and Alec’s apartment. 

“I’ll only be here for a few weeks, right? A little clutter isn’t going to kill me!” Izzy said easily, resting a gentle hand on Clary’s arm. She looked nervous and a little meek. Izzy wasn’t sure she liked that image of her, but she didn’t have to worry too much. It was quickly replaced with a smile when her phone chimed. 

“They made it back safe,” Clary said. At Izzy’s confused glance, she explained, “Magnus always texts me after a drive. Just… a thing we do now. He also wanted me to tell you that they are both shutting off their phones for the time being so if we need anything—”

“—We don’t.” They said it together, giggling at the antics of their brothers. 

“Well, I’m going to...” Izzy trailed off, gesturing over her shoulder to her bedroom. She couldn’t wait to get out of her uniform and to finally let her hair down after hours in the tight bun she had to have it in. She couldn’t wait to get showered and just relax for the first night in months. 

“I was going to order some pizza, from that place down the street? They have a gluten-free crust and a vegetarian option if you…” At Izzy’s clearly judgmental look, Clary laughed. “We’ll get two pizzas then?” Izzy nodded as Clary walked to the kitchen. 

Maybe having a roommate that wasn’t Alec wouldn’t be so bad after all.


When Izzy walked out a half-hour later, it was to the mouthwatering smell of pepperoni and sausage pizza and some pop music playing from the radio on the kitchen counter. Clary was dancing around the kitchen, a sight Izzy could definitely get used to, and struggling to grab plates from the cabinet where Alec had stored them. Izzy knew the struggle well and giggled as Clary hoisted herself on the counter to finally reach them. 

Apparently, Clary hadn’t been expecting the company quite yet and jumped at the sound, almost dropping the plates to the ground. 

“Sorry, sorry! You’re probably used to being here alone,” Izzy commented as she walked to the kitchen. Clary jumped down from the counter and handed a plate to Izzy with an easy shrug. 

“I mean, yeah, definitely not used to having a roommate, but… wow,” she said as if she had finally taken the chance to look at Izzy. 

She wasn’t trying to impress Clary, by any means, but she did get properly dressed instead of putting on the tattered sweatpants and tank top she had so desperately wanted to. She wore her favorite black jeans, high-waisted with too many buttons to be practical, and a cropped pastel purple top that left very little to the imagination. It was entirely different than the clunky uniform Clary had met her in and she relished the way Clary’s jaw seemed to hang out. 

She also did her hair. It had been stuck up in a bun for so long her scalp had started to hate her, so she let it flow down, soft waves that ended well past the middle of her back flowing with each move she made. Like she had said, she had a lot more to offer outside of her uniform and maybe, just maybe, she could offer it to the beautiful woman currently drooling in her kitchen. 

“You’ve got a little,” Izzy brushed her thumb across the corner of Clary’s mouth but Clary was quick to swat it away, her pale skin erupting in a dark shade of red. 

“Confident,” Clary noted, “that’s the first word Magnus used to describe you.” It was almost offhanded, not judgmental or harsh in any way, just a fact that Clary was accepting. It had Izzy unsure of what to say which was not a normal occurrence for her.  

“Colorful was what he used to describe you,” Izzy said, grabbing a slice of pizza and placing it right in her mouth before it even touched the plate. She practically moaned at the taste and Clary laughed at her, but she didn’t care. She had missed pizza more than almost any other food. “Alec and I laughed at that because if we were to describe Magnus with one word, that one would fit,” she added as she grabbed the glass of wine Clary had poured for her and moved to the couch. 

“Yeah, we’re definitely siblings,” Clary said fondly, sitting cross-legged beside Izzy. “You and Alec seem…” 

“Like complete and total opposites?” Izzy finished for her. Clary looked a bit bashful as she nodded. “We are and we aren’t? It’s hard to explain. We have the same morals and enjoy a lot of the same things, but I’m the more outgoing one while he’s more of the parent.” 

“Magnus told me that—” She stopped herself, as if unsure if she should say whatever she wanted to, but Izzy shook her head. 

“Alec and I have no secrets, so if Magnus told you something, neither of us would be mad. Siblings have to stick together, right?” 

Clary nodded and continued, “Magnus said that Alec was very much a parent to you and your siblings. That he took care of you both from a young age? He seems the type.” It was fond, the way she spoke about Alec, and that made Izzy happy. 

“Yeah, he really stepped up as the oldest. Our parents weren’t bad by any means. We always had food in the house and were healthy by all standards, but they were… absent. Alec was the one that took care of us when they would go away, even though he didn’t have to.”

“Magnus was the same way. I mean, before he was placed with us, he was always the one taking care of his foster siblings. He tried to take care of me until he realized he didn’t have to.” Clary giggled at what seemed like a fond memory and Izzy grinned up at her. 

“You definitely don’t seem like the type to need that,” Izzy noted. When Clary tilted her head, she explained, “Well, Alec told me that once you turned eighteen, you were pretty much out on your own already. He said you traveled a lot, got yourself into art school in some fancy European country, climbed the stairs to success with,” she gestured around at the full canvases, “all of this. Seems like you had it all figured out.”

“I could say the same for you,” Clary retorted, “Magnus told me that you pretty much knew you wanted to be a medic since you were a teenager and nothing has stopped you from fulfilling that dream since. It’s pretty admirable if you ask me.” Izzy shrugged and stared down at her pizza, trying to will the heat away from her face. 

“I had my brother with me almost the entire time, though. You traveled all over foreign land alone and made a pretty good name for yourself considering that art show Magnus raved about in his last letter,” Izzy pointed out. She was glad Clary’s face reddened so she wasn’t so alone. If that was how the next few weeks would go, Izzy wasn’t sure how either of them would make it out unchanged. 

“Hmm,” Clary hummed, holding out her glass of wine to Izzy, “the artist and the soldier, the unlikeliest of duos, spending a summer together before real life takes over. Whatever will happen next?” 

Izzy clinked their glasses together and said, “Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Notes:

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