Chapter Text
"Phupha! Wake up! It is already 6 o'clock!"
Tian smacks their alarm clock a bit too hard out of frenzy and clumsiness. A loud crack resounds in their small sanctuary as the latter rushes out to the bathroom.
Phupha, on the other side of the bed, blinks his eyes a hundred times per minute, trying to soak in his surroundings and the chaos Tian has made. If he is sober enough, maybe Phupha will realize they need a new alarm clock soon.
He pushes away the blanket from covering his body, stretching his tense muscles, and a groan escapes his lips now and then. Tian would tease him, calling him old if he is here by his side. But Phupha still finds it hard to grasp everything that is happening. Too busy to care about reality, still debating why he is awake when he should be sleeping. Sleep is heavy on his eyelids; a lullaby plays in his ears, calm and soothing like Tian's voice, pulling his body into dreamland again.
Phupha is tired of working overtime last night, and the bed is tempting, challenging his sanity. Plus the scent of Tian lingering on the pillows and bedsheet, Phupha wants to be engulfed in a warm hug again, in a world where he can snuggle close to Tian without worrying about the future. But Tian is not here, and the bed feels cold, big and uncomfortable. Where is Tian?
As his feet kiss the floor, Phupha's eyes burst open, surprised by the coldness of the cement. Now, he is wide awake. Like getting a splash of cold water on his face, Phupha has finally come to his senses.
It is still a little dark outside.
The sky only begins to transcend from black to bronze. The moon and the stars bid their goodbyes to the sky, hoping to see them again soon. The sun waits for its turn, eager to paint the universe in streaks of yellow and orange, the start of a new day.
Phupha watches with awe; how the world seems brighter now than before, how the clouds are whiter and fluffier since Tian arrived at Pha Pun Dao five years ago. Time sure flies, fast enough that Phupha wants it to stop for him to relish every moment he shares with Tian, screechingly slow that Phupha is impatient to know what tomorrow awaits for Tian and him.
Time waits for no man, but if time is Tian, Phupha will wait for him even if it takes forever.
"Phupha! Why are you still here? You will be late to work!"
Phupha searches for the voice, happy to see the familiar pout on Tian's lips, hands on his hips, eyes zeroing on Phupha with panic, worry and concern. Phupha knows a sulky Tian is quite hard to handle, but to meet this version of Tian in the morning makes him smile regardless. Joy blossoms in his heart as realization hits- it has been years since he has woken up to Tian's voice, face, everything, but it still feels new every time. It still gives him goosebumps, electrified by the fact that Tian is here with him at Pha Pun Dao.
It is real. Tian is real.
Tian calms him down when there is a hurricane in his head.
He still gets butterflies sometimes, especially if Tian gets bolder and makes the first move. But throughout the years of being together, Tian is like a form of therapy, a medicine that cures sickness. He soothes the turmoil in his chest whenever burdens from work weigh him down. He is a constant assurance that things might not be okay all the time, but they will be. Sooner or later, it is bound to be. He only needs to wait. Phupha only needs to wait for better days to come.
Tian makes him feel that it is alright to take things slow, to be vulnerable and honest with his feelings. Tian makes him feel safe and peaceful. To Phupha, that is the best definition of love to ever exists.
Loving Tian has changed Phupha in many ways, but he knows it is all for the better. Love does not change people, but loving the right person does.
Sighing, Phupha smiles at his lover, genuine and in love, "Tian," he calls, and Tian looks at him with the most puzzled expression on his face.
Tian is breathtaking without even trying, and Phupha thinks it is a bit unfair. How can a person look so good at the crack of dawn? Well, Tian is. Maybe one day, Phupha will ask Tian, and they can have a long debate about it (that will involve a lot of teasing and screaming). But today, Phupha will let it slide since he loves him, and he feels mushy suddenly.
Giving up, Tian approaches Phupha, taking a seat on the bed but not looking at the ranger. Phupha is unsure if Tian is angry or sulking, but Phupha is an expert at handling either side of Tian Sopasitsakun these days. Communication is the key to their relationship now, an element that they failed to agree on a few years back.
"Hey, are you okay?" Phupha asks, delicately holding onto Tian's shoulders, not wanting to surprise him. When Tian does not budge, Phupha closes the distance between them, trying again, "Tian?"
Phupha used the softest, gentlest voice he can muster, and it will always work on Tian. So when Tian finally breaks the wall between them, turning his body around to face Phupha, the smile on his face stretches into a grin.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"No..." Tian answers, looking everywhere but at Phupha. The pout is still evident on his lips, but Tian is too cool to admit it, too prideful to let Phupha tease him. He tries to remain stoic, but Phupha knows. He knows something is bothering Tian.
"Then, what is it about?" Phupha coaxes Tian to open up. When Tian rests his head on Phupha's shoulder, hiding his face from him, he cannot contain the laughter from exploding. He earns a stinging pinch on his waist, and Phupha yelps in pain, but he still chuckles, too happy to tease Tian.
"I have prepared a warm bath for you. You cannot be late to work, Phu. Dr Nam, Yod and Rang will tease you again," Tian explains, voice muffled, warm breath kissing Phupha's collarbones. Phupha almost dozes off, too comfortable with Tian in his arms, his human heater, heartbeat pounding against Phupha's chest.
"So what if they tease me, Tian? Aside from Nam, they do not have anyone to take care of them," Phupha adds, running his fingers through Tian's hair, "they are jealous of us, that is all."
Tian pulls away from Phupha's grasp, looking at him dead in the eye, "At least Dr Nam has a wife now, but what am I to you? I am not your wife!"
Phupha knows he should not be thinking of this, but he wants to kiss Tian right now.
"Who says you are my wife? Of course, you are not," Phupha reassures, "you are someone I want to be with for a long time. You are my other half, definitely not a wife!" He smiles, sincere.
Phupha knows Tian does not like being teased that way. Truthfully, Phupha hates that people are labelling Tian as a 'wife' between them too. Why must one be called a wife in a relationship between two men? Some things need to change, and it is people's perspective about love and relationship, especially between the same gender.
He holds Tian's hand, tapping it once to assure him, twice to convince him, "You are a man, after all! You should be my husband instead! You are not a wife."
Somehow, Tian smiles at this, and it looks vibrant. He looks beautiful as the sun drapes their luminance all over his skin, and Tian glows in blinding gold. Phupha falls in love, and it will always feel like it is the first time. Tian will always make everything feel like a first time to Phupha.
Tian smiles, then he grins and giggles. It is all beautiful. Even the sound of his chuckles is livelier than the birds chirping outside.
"I am not your wife," Tian says, whisper-like, "but I would like to be yours someday."
Confused, Phupha inquires, "Are you not mine? I thought you are? Oh, I should have known!" Phupha clasps the fabric of his shirt, clutching it into a ball, "It was all one-sided!"
Tian throws a light jab on his chest, stopping Phupha from being overly dramatic. Phupha cannot seem to stop laughing. Love makes him happier and more laidback. Tian makes him soft around the edges, filling the void in his heart with his presence, his smile, his glittering eyes.
"Since when did you become like this, Chief Phupha?" Tian asks, cocking his head from left to right. Giggles and laughter echoes in their small space, light and airy with love. Cicada clicking their way as the sun continues to rise on the skyline. A string of what I have put myself into, and I did not know you are this dramatic chimes in his ears, tickling his heart with another wave of glee.
Phupha ponders for a while, placing his index finger on his chin as he prompts, playful, "Since you came into my life?"
Without warning, Tian tackles him to bed, tickling the sides of his waist and Phupha screams, holding Tian on his forehead to stop him from further tantalizing his private zone. Tian, never giving up on a good fight, continues to suck the oxygen out of Phupha, pressing all the ranger's sensitive spots with his fingers.
When Phupha gives in, holding out an invisible white flag, Tian stops, but remnants of laughter loiter around the room still.
"Tian," Phupha calls, voice cracking as his chest heaves up and down.
Tian laughs at his cracked voice, squeezing a reply in between stolen breaths, "Hm?"
"I think you forgot that today is my off day," Phupha says. The other groans, then Phupha hears a light smack, in time to see Tian's hand is covering his forehead.
"I forgot," Tian admits, grinning, "I forgot, Phu."
Tian is only smiling, blissfully knocked out from the laughing and screaming, but there is a halo surrounding him, a sight that Phupha has never seen before. Phupha sees Tian in a different light. His heart picks up pace, thousand miles per hour, and every beat is pounding hard in his ears, deafening.
And his mind wanders to a place. Elusive and magical, there, waiting for them.
I want to marry you, his heart whispers.
And Phupha sighs heavily in between battered breaths, in between admiring Tian's beauty, in between realization.
I want to marry you.
It comes again, like a gentle breeze grazing his cheeks, a field of daisies surrounding Tian, herbaceous scent mixed with the flowers from Tian's skin, stars bestowing their grace in Tian's eyes. Phupha sees them all, remembers them all; the heart of Phupha around Tian's thumb, the wilted daisy around Tian's ring finger, waiting for a new, real ring someday.
I want to marry you.
Phupha wants to marry Tian, and he needs to plan on a perfect proposal fast. But he needs some help from the professionals (read: the villagers of Pha Pun Dao) to make it happen.