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After so long, Xie Lian is tired. He has been many things. The strongest vampire lord in the country. The most hated vampire, hunted and attacked endlessly. A nobody beggar that sold smoked meat.
In the modern era of China, he was tired. He couldn’t hunt like before. He couldn’t stay long in one place and have people ask why he looks so young. He had been alive for over 800 years so this was nothing new and China had grown into the biggest country. But uprooting his life so consistently was hard.
He made a new life in a smaller town in the countryside this time. He could hunt more here for animals to feed himself but he was used to being starved for decades. It wasn’t something he needed after so long of being forced to stay alive.
He couldn’t feed on humans anymore. He could never after so long and seeing the worst vampires had done to him and the people he loved. It wasn’t something he cared about after so long.
Xie Lian was happy with the small life he had selling dried meat on the streets in his stall. Some of the people knew him by now, the regulars in their own stalls smiling politely to him as he set up for the day.
He got enough to get by and that’s what mattered. He watched the people walk by, smiling and answering questions anytime he was asked. People bought some, other’s just looked.
After hours, he could feel the familiar exhaustion that came before his hunger. He let out an inaudible sigh, looking at everything in front of him. He couldn’t afford to pack up early but he didn’t want to slip up. He didn’t want to feed. He would usually forcibly sleep through his hunger until it was sated for the next day.
A man walks by, obviously rich with the quality of his jacket. It’s leather and Xie Lian can smell the old dried blood on some spots and the polish on it as well. He smiles at the man, not quite meeting his eyes as he says, “Is there anything I can interest you in?”
Because he wasn’t quite looking, Xie Lian misses the flinch, the blatant shock and despair as the man looks at him. It lasts for a moment as the man plasters a smile on his face, fully turning to Xie Lian.
“What are you selling?” He asks.
Xie Lian goes into his usual spiel. That he hunts and smokes meat. That everything is made by him and is economically caught. It’s all drivel he doesn’t know is exactly true or not. He just knows that he read somewhere it was good to play up economical impact right now.
The man listens the entire time. He nods and asks questions before making a thoughtful noise, picking through his entire table.
“If I bought everything, what would the cost be?” The man asks finally.
Xie Lian thinks it's a joke and laughs. He throws out a number. It’s what he needs for his bills for the next two months. The man looks almost offended.
“That’s not enough for all of this.”
“What?” Xie Lian asks.
Finally he looks up and sees the man is completely serious. He only has one eye, the other hidden behind a cloth eyepatch. There’s a design in black he can’t see from the man’s hair. The one eye the man has shows he’s determined, his jaw set.
“I-I couldn’t-you shouldn’t buy that much. How would you carry it? No, no, that’s no good. It’s fine, how about-”
The man hums. “I’ll be fine. I’ll give you the money and that’s all you need to worry about.”
“How about I help you carry everything for you. If you insist that you want everything.”
He smiles, bowing his head slightly in admission. “If you insist, I can give you this.”
“What’s your name, friend? I’m Xie Lian.”
“You can call me San Lang. I’ll call you Gege.”
Xie Lian flushes at the term, not sure how to take that. He’s heard younger kids calling their partners the same and is almost embarrassed at the thought that the man was flirting with him. There was no way that the man would to a stranger. He smiles though, starting to pack things up. San Lang helps him and soon they’re walking along the street. The table folds into a canvas bag and they fight over who should carry it. Xie Lian has always been strong as he was a martial artist so he laughs, easily hefting most of the bags for San Lang as well as his table up onto his back and in his arms.
San Lang looks extremely taken aback and doesn’t seem to be able to say much for a moment. He’s pale but there’s a small dusting of red along his ears and the tops of his cheeks. Xie Lian pretends not to notice. Many people have complimented him and tried to be on his good side so he hopes that the nice young man isn’t one of those people.
He knows that his dried meat isn’t the best. He uses a basic technique he learned hundreds of years ago so he knew it worked. But there were better options in a modern world for flavour combinations other than salt and sun. San Lang is happy though, holding a piece between his teeth as he chews with his hands full. Xie Lian can’t help but smile, excited that somebody enjoyed what he made.
“Where can I help San Lang carry his things to? Do you have a car that you parked close by?” Xie Lian asks casually.
“I live near downtown. We can go there. Gege doesn’t need to carry my things up the stairs to my apartment though.”
Xie Lian hums. “How do you afford to live downtown?”
“I’m a sculptor. I help do things for the town. I have another business with carpentry stuff that makes a bit. It funds my sculpting for fun as it gets expensive now.”
Xie Lian’s eyes light up, turning to San Lang happily as he asks, “Do you do anything else besides that? Are you an artist of other mediums?”
“I like to paint. I sketch a lot of what I do before I make it. Does Gege have hobbies besides making dried meat?”
“Hm...I have some. People find it odd but I enjoy going to the dumping sites. I find a lot of things there that people have thrown out and restore it. I’ve had people offer to buy things I’ve redone in shops after they saw me with it later on. I sometimes sell them, most of the time I give them away.”
“What do you restore?”
“A lot of older things. Instruments, older cookware, plates. I became very good at drawing flowers for plates.”
San Lang laughs. Xie Lian can’t help but think it’s a pretty noise. He feels himself flush slightly at the thought, tucking his hair behind his ear hesitantly. He must really be starved for attention.
They talk a little about things. Xie Lian loves hearing San Lang talk as he easily becomes excited. When talking about his art he sounds flippant but is fast to delve into how he does it. Xie Lian can’t help but continue to ask about what he does more and more.
Soon, they’re stopping outside an apartment building. San Lang looks forlornly upwards. Xie Lian knows his cue to leave.
“I thank you for your generosity in my business. I hope you have a good rest of the day and take care.”
“I-,” San Lang starts, stopping himself. Xie Lian pauses as he turns and sees San Lang gripping the bags of food. He blinks, tilting his head slightly. “Thank you, Gege. I hope I can see you soon.”
Xie Lian grins. “Why not now? I should treat you to something to eat as I’ve taken so much of your time up already. Dried meat isn’t much of a meal.”
There’s blatant shock before relief and happiness flood San Lang’s face. He smiles happily, nodding. They’re like school kids, grinning at each other at the idea of having dinner together.
“I know a good restaurant. Somebody I know runs it.”
“Let’s get your things to your home then. I’ll trouble you to let me store my table and other things here for now, though.”
“Of course, Gege.”
They walk to the elevator, crowded in the bustling of the building as people come and go. San Lang is neutral, only smiling gently to the couple grannies that greet him. They stop for a moment to ask who is with San Lang, patting Xie Lian’s hands when he bows gently.
One stays a little longer, happily chatting to the both of them in the elevator. They’re going to the same floor and so she asks about Xie Lian. When they mention the two had just met, the granny seems pleased to see the contentment that San Lang exudes silently.
“I hope to see more of you, dear.” She says as they step off.
Xie Lian smiles, bowing his head again as she disappears into her apartment.
“I didn’t know San Lang was popular with grandmothers.”
“They want to set me up with their daughters or granddaughters most of the time.” San Lang says, smiling lightly. “The one in the elevator is Granny Wei. She gives me buns sometimes when her grandkids can’t come to visit that week.”
Xie Lian can’t help but grin again. In the few hours with San Lang, he’s smiled more than he has in so long.
They drop everything off in San Lang’s apartment. It’s messy with things for art and paintings everywhere. There’s a laptop buried under a bunch of sketch pads and an art tablet that’s on the verge of falling off the coffee table. The floor has dust and what looks like clay pieces all over the places, stuck in the carpet and on the walls. But it feels barren in a way Xie Lian can’t place as he helps bring the dried meats into the kitchen and place them on the table. He smiles though because it still feels like a home. He loves it.
San Lang looks embarrassed, kicking small things out of the way to make a path to the kitchen. It’s almost endearing so Xie Lian politely acts like he didn’t see.
The rest of the day is...nicer than Xie Lian expected. He hasn’t been around people in so long. The most he interacted with humans were to sell to them or the occasional ones that became a little too interested in his business.
San Lan is happy to walk him back to his own home. They’re chatting past dark and he insists that Xie Lian has to get home safely. It’s a little silly but Xie Lian can’t say no to San Lang. So he nods. He leads the other through to the train and they take it through the town to the part where he lives.
On the train ride, it starts to pour. San Lang blinks at it, frowning slightly.
“You should go home on the next train,” Xie Lian comments. It’s raining harder and harder as they watch people running through the streets before them. They stand in the entrance of the station, tucked under an alcove to hide from it like so many others.
“How far is Gege’s home?”
“About a block or two away.”
“I should make sure he gets there then.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian says sternly. “You’ll get soaked. I can’t have you catching a cold just for me.”
“Gege’s safety is important.” San Lang says. His jaw is set, his arms crossed petulantly. Xie Lian knows he’s lost when he looks over and sees it.
Xie Lian sighs, feeling a fond smile curl around his lips. “If San Lang insists, he’ll have to endure my company for longer. I can’t have you going around the city in this weather. I’ll dry your clothes and give you an umbrella.”
San Lang nods, smiling happily. ”I’ll be in Gege’s care then.”
Xie Lian nods, both staring for a moment longer at the pounding rain. With a breath, they both shuffle their clothes over their hair somewhat. San Lang’s hair is shorter, cropped and shaggy around his neck so it’s easy to hide. Xie Lian kept his long hair. He almost sighs at the thought of having to sleep with it wet tonight.
San Lang pushes his jacket over Xie Lian, holding it out to shield him somewhat. He’s taller and easily engulfs Xie Lian, making him laugh.
They start to run, giggling like teenagers as they go through the rain. They splash in puddles and run through the empty streets. There’s cars splashing at them but everybody has scattered that don’t have umbrellas.
It’s freer than Xie Lian felt in so long. He smiles brightly, happy as they make it to his apartment building. He’s still drenched, his pants soaked through and bangs stuck to his face. But San Lang is worse off, completely soaked through and still dripping.
He leads them up to his apartment. It’s nothing more than one room with a ratty mattress. He has a small closet he has clothes in with a kitchenette pushed into the corner. The only other door is his bathroom which barely has any standing room. He almost wants to shut his door, not letting San Lang see. But San Lang’s smiling, not the least bit phased at the shabbiness of the linoleum or how mould caked the walls are. He just looks thoughtfully there, like he wants to fix the leak in his window right now.
“It isn’t much…” Xie Lian says quietly.
“I like it,” San Lang says immediately.
Xie Lian grins, opening the door wider. They stop in the entrance, peeling their jackets and shoes off. Xie Lian has San Lang wait and he grabs one of his nicer towels. It’s the newest one he found at a thrift store and soft so he pushes it onto San Lang easily.
“Go dry off in the bathroom. I don’t have much hot water so you’ll have to be fast but it should help warm you up. I might have some clothes that will fit you. I buy some things a little oversized personally so I’ll look through everything.”
There’s clothes that will easily fit San Lang. He slips them on after they’re pushed through the door of the bathroom. Xie Lian takes a short shower afterwards, changing into comfier clothes. They sit together at a small table in the middle of the room. There isn’t much other place to sit at but San Lang never seems to mind it.
It’s significantly later and the rain still hasn’t let up, leaving Xie Lian gnawing on his lips nervously.
“San Lang...I’m sorry. The rain isn’t stopping. I tried drying your clothes but the dryer is broken in the building.”
San Lang shrugs. “I can walk home. Gege’s hospitality was much appreciated.”
“Are you sure because you...you could stay here.”
“Hm, I wouldn’t want to impose.”
“I can’t promise it’s comfortable but my bed will be better to sleep in tonight than being soaked trying to get home.”
“If Gege insists, I don’t mind sleeping on the floor.”
Xie Lian makes a noise. “Nonsense. You can share with me or I can sleep on the floor. You’re the guest, you should use the bed.”
This seems to ruffle San Lang slightly but the slight flush on his face doesn't deter him smiling almost smugly. “Does Gege intend to share with this San Lang then? I’m honoured.”
Xie Lian waves it off. He busies himself taking the dishes to his small kitchen sink. He brings out more blankets and another pillow and makes the bed cosier on one side.
He finishes with a flourish, shuffling his feet slightly against the carpet beside his bed. “Please, San Lang. Let’s go to bed. It’s late so…”
They settle into bed. Xie Lian curls on his side facing San Lang while he settles on his back. He supports his head with one of his arms. They’re quiet and Xie Lian almost marvels at how at ease he feels. He feels sated and warm wrapped in a nest of blankets next to San Lang.
The rain is cold and his apartment doesn’t have heating so he made sure to bring over extra blankets for San Lang. He falls asleep way more content and peaceful than he has in a long time.
He blinks awake, a little overwarm. He has two extra blankets over him that leave him almost not wanting to move. It’s bright out though which makes him squint, bolting upright.
It has to be at least mid morning by now. If he was late to his spot how could he possibly get it which means less money and-
San Lang is puttering around his apartment, carrying a small stew towards the table to set. He smiles seeing Xie Lian awake. Xie Lian blinks, furrowing his brows at the stew. He never really had much in his apartment as he didn’t need to eat. He only really ate when he was desperate because food was a good tie over for not drinking blood.
“San Lang?” Xie Lian asks quietly, rubbing at his eye. He’s still tired and doesn’t want to move but the smell from the food has him curious.
“I made Gege something to eat. Are you still tired because I can let it simmer longer.”
“No, I’ll eat. What did San Lang make? I don’t have a lot of things here.”
“I noticed. I got some things from the market earlier this morning.”
“How late is it?”
“It’s almost noon. Gege was tired.”
Xie Lian feels himself flush a little too brightly. “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have slept so long. San Lang has things to do other than taking care of this one. Please, have something to eat as well.”
San Lang’s smile is indulgent as he’s shuffled over to the table. Xie Lian hums as he starts scooping the stew into a bowl, pushing it towards San Lang and giving him a heaping portion of rice.
“Make sure you eat up, you’re so skinny I don’t want you catching a cold after the rain. Did you sleep alright?” Xie Lian asks. He fills the silence with this chatter, asking different things to San Lang and about himself. They’re safe questions about his family and small things about his likes and dislikes.
It’s later on in the day when Xie Lian finally asks, “San Lang doesn’t want to go back home? I know my apartment isn’t the nicest so he doesn’t have to stay.”
San Lang looks almost nervous as he says, “I like being with Gege. To be honest I don’t know very many people in this city.”
“I don’t either. It’s easy to be lost in the shuffle. If San Lang is free, I would love to be with him. But you should make sure to have your own things at least. Maybe we can meet up later on after you go home for a bit and get some things for yourself?”
“Does Gege have a phone?”
“Ah, no I don’t. I never really got the hang of them so I don’t bother much. Nobody needs to contact me so it’s fine.”
San Lang frowns. “How will I know if Gege is busy if I want to see him?”
Xie Lian smiles, shrugging. “I’m not used to having somebody want to be around me. I haven’t in...quite a while. It’s fine. If San Lang wants to see me he can just come see me.”
San Lang nods. They dissolve into talking idly the rest of the afternoon.
---
San Lang is in and out of his life for the next few weeks. Xie Lian isn’t quite sure how he got so lucky to finally find somebody to talk to so casually. It’s been so long since it’s been this easy to have somebody sit reading next to him. He can’t help but feel giddy when he hears the door open, the keys San Lang holding jingling as he plays with them before putting them away.
They agree to meet up for dinner a few times a week usually. It ends with San Lang sleeping over and they have breakfast and spend some more time together. Xie Lian is more free after being bought from all his stock by San Lang and has started restoring things that take more time. San Lang has started helping him with the painting. He does a lot of dish sets as he finds them broken in bins and wants to redo them. San Lang is much better at repainting on the plates so they make a good team.
But, after those few weeks, Xie Lian is paid a visit by his landlord. He looks almost nervous as he smiles at Xie Lian, moving from foot to foot.
“Hello there. I’m here to tell you some...unfortunate news.”
Xie Lian raises his eyebrow.
“The building is...not up to code right now. It isn’t safe to live in so you have a month to move out.”
“I’m...sorry?” Xie Lian says, feeling the words flit through him. His face must fall because his landlord's face tightens. He isn’t sure he heard correctly but it would be right for him, wouldn’t it?
“I sent everybody this in an email but you have no email, wechat, not even a phone number to call. So I had to do this in person. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Please have a nice day.”
The landlord smiles one more time, bowing his head slightly. Then he walks off down the hall. Xie Lian sighs, staring at the ground outside his door. He was hoping he’d have a couple more years before this happened.
He goes back inside, laying on his bed. He isn’t sure where he’ll go on such short notice. It took quite a lot of haggling for him to even be able to get this apartment. It was a glorified shoebox but it was cheap and somewhere to live.
He doesn’t feel anything particularly. He’s been homeless so often in his long life that it feels natural. He has a place to live and then he doesn’t. Some places have only lasted him a few months. He just wished that he would have had more time in this town. Modern house hunting is so much harder. Some landlords aren’t willing to look away if he pays in cash, only wanting money transfers and records. This place was easier to live in because the landlord was just downstairs and always let him pay with cash. He never asked questions and was nice enough. Maybe somebody would take pity in his situation.
It makes him laugh hollowly. He only knows San Lang after so long of living that would probably help him. And even that is a tall ask.
He isn’t sure how long he lays there but he does stir when the lock turns and San Lang walks in. Xie Lian blinks up at him, trying to muster a happy smile.
“Gege, what’s wrong?” San Lang asks immediately.
“I have to move out of here in a month.”
“Gege has to leave this apartment?”
Xie Lian sighs heavily, nodding.
“Do you have any idea where you can go?”
“No, I was hoping I’d have a little more time before having to figure it out. I might have to sell all my things so I can live in a shelter for a bit. They don’t let you take much.”
San Lang blinks, looking horrified. “Absolutely not. Gege is coming to stay in my apartment. I have an extra bedroom for you so you’ll be comfortable.”
“What, San Lang I couldn’t possibly-,”
San Lang isn’t listening though and Xie Lian sighs. But he soon smiles, almost dizzy with relief, sitting up. “How about I start on dinner. We can talk more over some food. I’d also like to hear about your day.”
---
He starts small. He sells a lot of things. He has trouble parting with others. San Lang lets him keep whatever he wants. But it stresses him out. He can’t help but try to bring out more and more things he wants to part with after realizing how little space San Lang might have for him if he brought everything.
After a few days, he realizes he needs to do more meat drying too. He sighs, looking at the meat in his freezer. There isn’t enough for a batch of anything. The easiest thing he could do is go fishing but he would have to rent a boat. Those usually can be annoying to get on short notice.
But he has nothing better he can do so he packs a small bag of rations, water, and some clothes.
The docks are loud when he finally manages to get a boat. There’s small areas sectioned off for fishing and he’s able to push off easily. It’s peaceful as he steers towards the middle of the small strait. Not very many big commercial fisheries are along this part and lets him feel a little at peace.
He sits for hours in one specific spot, letting his mind wander idly as he waits. It’s the best part of his small venture. He gets to hunt and fish on his own and let his natural instincts take over slightly sometimes. It helps keep him sane after so long without human blood. When he fishes is when he just lets himself exist. He dozes slightly, sunning himself in the boat as he listens to the waves and distant chatter of the town.
Nothing is biting but that’s okay. He can try again or go hunting at night if he really needs to.
He stays out for longer regardless of nothing biting. His patience pays off though.
A sharp jerk on his line has him sitting up. He goes to start to reel it in when it jerks again and throws him a little off balance. He frowns. Nothing particularly big usually comes along this part.
But something grabs at his leg and he’s so shocked that it has him off balance again. There’s another hand that goes to his arm that he evades. There isn’t much room on the boat and it rocks dangerously. He sighs as he balances on his toes before pushing off, evading another arm. Something or many somethings are stuck under his boat.
He debates just letting them take him to fight them in the water. He weighs his options over it and eventually lets them grab him. He’s hauled under and then starts to fight in earnest. It might have not been the best idea though because there are way more water ghouls than he expected for a calm strait in rural China. They attach to him and entangle his arms and feet. He can’t swim and there’s so many hands on him he can’t fight. He does what he can, breaking fragile arms and fingers off him but it’s hopeless. He’s stuck here in a constant loop of drowning that will never stop until they let him go or he is able to escape.
It’s almost laughable how bad his luck is sometimes. Xie Lian feels sardonic laughter bubble in his throat. All he does is cough out more air bubbles. He isn’t sure if this is a fitting punishment for how he failed his clan or not.
He wishes he had been able to say goodbye to San Lang. He isn’t sure he’d be able to escape this for a very long time at the strength the water ghouls have on him. It leaves him deflated, letting them hold him under and do what they can to smother him.
There’s a morbid acceptance in him. He can never fully drown. The water ghouls are trying to wait but get restless. They start circling him, wondering why he won’t give up. His lungs burn and soon he feels blood curdling in his throat from the salt water. He wishes he could give up.
He must have blacked out because he wakes up still underwater. He passes out then wakes up so many times he has no idea the time. It’s dark in the water so it could be minutes, hours, days.
When he comes to and is sucking in air, that’s what has him coughing, hacking stomach full after stomach full of water and bile and blood onto the dock. He’s a mess of algae, body fluids, and water. He can’t even talk through chattering teeth and numb lips. His throat is so raw it might have been a mercy to just leave him in the water.
But then there’s San Lang, bending over him as he smooths his hair back and talks about something. There’s another voice but there’s so much water in his ears he can’t tell who it is. He just smiles, patting the hand cupping his face.
He may or may not have passed out again because he wakes up warm and dry. He blinks, sluggish and sore before shifting. He tries to sit up but he’s weak and barely able to move much after so long. San Lang is immediately right there. He can hear better now that the water has drained from his ears but his throat is still out of commission.
San Lang gives him tea. There’s a worried crease, something like fear in his face, as he fusses around Xie Lian. He helps Xie Lian sit up, making sure the pillows are comfortable, and that he isn’t cold or in need of more blankets.
Belatedly he realizes this isn’t his apartment or bed.
“You were gone for so long, I got worried.” San Lang says. He might have been talking for longer. Xie Lian isn’t sure. He’s tired.
“Sorry,” he manages to rasp.
“Don’t apologize. You’re safe, that’s what matters.”
“Where?”
“My apartment. It was closer so I brought you here. You were so cold I had to give you a bath.”
Xie Lian nods, feeling his eyes droop. San Lang lowers him back down the bed, tucking the blankets more securely around him. Xie Lian catches a hand in San Lang’s shirt. His grip is feeble still but San Lang doesn’t even think to break it as he sits back on the bed.
“Stay,” is all Xie Lian is able to mumble. He doesn’t hear any answer but there’s a hand in his hair that is all the answer he needs.
---
He wakes up less tired but still sore. It won’t go away unless he feeds but he doubts he’ll be able to do anything like that around San Lang.
He lets himself lay for a little while longer, hazy and almost delirious. His body is still human so he can get sick and weak but it’s extremely hard. He feels the telltale sign of a fever warping his vision, leaving him heavy, and too warm and too cold all at once.
San Lang comes inside the room and looks excited to see him awake. “Gege should eat this. He’s been sleeping a lot the last couple of days.”
“Days?”
“Mm,” San Lang says. He sits on the bed and helps Xie Lian sit up. “You got a fever last night so I did my best to keep you comfortable over the day. It’s almost nine right now.”
Xie Lian nods, feeling himself listing slightly. San Lang holds him upright and he feels himself push into his neck
“Is Gege tired still?”
Xie Lian hums. He’s been through a lot the last 800 years. He’s been hurt and left to rot before but this is the first time he was fished up and taken care of in so long. He doesn’t want to admit it but this is something he missed from when he was young. He wants to be able to sleep away the day and wake up to San Lang there.
He’s tired in a soul deep level that leaves him unable to move from where he’s curled into San Lang. He doesn’t want to. And San Lang just laughs, setting the bowl of stew to the side and pulling Xie Lian more securely against his chest.
“San Lang is too good for me,” Xie Lian says thickly.
“I’m as good as Gege deserves.”
Xie Lian falls asleep just like that again.
---
He takes more time than he expected to fully recover. Xie Lian feels embarrassed that he’s taken care of the entire time, left to sleep away in San Lang’s bed for a week. It takes him too long to be able to sit up and he knows it's because he has to feed. He knows it’s because he needs to stop ignoring his base needs but he can’t.
San Lang isn’t fully human but the warmth he has makes him squirm, the faint smell of blood from San Lang’s skin making Xie Lian restless. He manages to escape eventually. He has to go to his apartment, where he’ll be alone and away from everybody.
He manages to stay for a few days without problem. He sleeps, going into almost hibernation as he waits out the worst of the pangs.
Soon though, he wakes up. He gasps, clawing and tearing at anything he can reach. The pain he feels from his elongated claws is muted and helps him stay lucid. If he loses that, he isn’t sure if he’ll be safe.
He thinks that somebody comes to his door a few times but he’s too far gone. He can’t move. There’s people moving around the halls all the time. He can smell them and hear them moving out of their apartments. He is the only one unable to move, unable to do anything but listen to the bustling of people in their own homes.
It takes a week before San Lang comes into his home. He comes at the worst time. Xie Lian is ravenous to the point he’s a danger. But he’s around so many people. He can’t leave his apartment. He can’t leave and let himself lose control and hurt people. So he holes up inside his apartment. San Lang finds him like that, clawing and biting at his arms with his sharpened teeth, his bright red eyes, his longer nails tearing his bedsheets.
“Gege, what’s wrong?”
Xie Lian whimpers, falling off the mattress to keep their distance. San Lang doesn’t care, rushing over to take Xie Lian’s arm out of his mouth. He doesn’t bleed after so long of not feeding. San Lang is warm though and smells good and Xie Lian can’t help as he lurches forward, sinking his teeth into San Lang’s neck.
His blood is foul though, leaving Xie Lian unlatching, reeling back and coughing. It tastes like it’s old and that it’s been stagnant for a very long time. It drips black and concealed from Xie Lian’s mouth.
Xie Lian knew San Lang wasn’t a normal human but he never expected him to be dead. He coughs, his eyes watering before he can get a hold on himself. But he’s so frustrated. He’s starving and in so much pain. He needs something.
San Lang smooths his hair back, cupping the back of his head gently.
“Gege needs to feed, doesn’t he? I’ll go get him somebody--”
“No!” Xie Lian says, loud and forceful. “Nothing but animals. Nothing but animals. I can't, I can’t, not again.”
San Lang is quiet before nodding. “This San Lang will go get you something. We’re not far from the country. Would Gege like to come hunting with me?”
Xie Lian whimpers, his shoulders shaking. He doesn’t want to but his instincts make him want to say yes. He’s so desperate for anything he almost pushes San Lang back so he can latch onto his neck again. He doesn’t know what to do.
San Lang must take pity on him because he brings his hand up, rubbing along his temple. There’s a fizzle of warmth in his fingers and it goes through his head, making him drowsy and heavy.
He wakes up in his bed with San Lang pushing his hands through Xie Lian’s hair. He smiles at Xie Lian, cupping his face easily. His clothes are dishevelled, a leaf in his hair where it’s half up away from his face.
“Gege should eat now.” San Lang says quietly.
All at once the smell of blood is hitting Xie Lian, making him jolt upright, grabbing the bowl full of blood and starting to drink greedily. He spills some onto his hands. He empties the bowl before he licks at the splash on his hands, trying to get everything he can.
San Lang doesn’t say anything the entire time, watching him until he empties the bowl. He takes the bowl and places it in the sink before coming back with a damp towel. He starts to clean Xie Lain’s face.
Soon, Xie Lian is able to calm down. He feels the blood start to sate his hunger, going through his body and giving him the familiar surge of power. It isn’t as strong as human blood but he doesn’t lose himself ever with animals so he’s fine with it.
There’s an undercurrent of power that isn’t his though. It leaves him stronger, clearer headed. He looks up at San Lang, blinking as he finally realizes why this feels so familiar.
“We’re soul bonded,” Xie Lian says softly.
San Lang smiles, turning to take the towel back to the small kitchenette. “We are. I noticed it earlier but thought I was imagining things.”
“Why don’t I remember you?”
“It was a very long time ago that we met. I wasn’t very old.”
Xie Lian stares. He doesn’t remember very much of his life before as a vampire lord. He kept his distance from the politics of the supernatural world after his downfall, living on his own around humans. He would much rather remember the wonderful lady from fifty years ago than how he was hurt before. But he’s so frustrated as he sees San Lang, standing there so unfamiliar yet not. San Lang is so much to Xie Lian in so little time and now they’re soul bonded. But Xie Lain can’t remember.
“I was a human foot soldier for your clan. You were off looking into something and I was taken with you as a decoy. You were forced to take me to appease the elders but you ended up taking the hit instead of me. You asked to feed from me but you accidentally also used your power to make sure I would stay safe. It ended up bonding us.”
Xie Lian felt like his skull was split open at how fast he remembered, covering his mouth with his hands.
“Before that, you helped a young boy in the woods that was being hunted. You helped him stay safe and hid his scent with your own. You made sure that they went away and comforted him and brought him home to his mother.”
Xie Lian feels weak all over again. He can’t help but cup San Lang’s face, leaning his weight against the other as he stares and stares. He’s confused, happy, baffled, but that doesn’t stop how he holds San Lang, staring with a softness he hasn’t felt for somebody before “Why are you here now?”
“That young boy was destined to die young. I was born under a cursed star. So I died as a foot soldier for your clan. But I came back as a ghost. I had to make sure a kind soul like you got peace. After being bonded, I felt your grief and loss. I wanted to help. I followed you as best I could until I had a corporeal form. Then I cultivated until I could become strong. Strong enough that I could protect you after you were cursed and thrown aside from your clan.”
Xie Lian can’t help but feel himself choke up. He’s been alive for so long and seen so many things change. He can’t help but feel an overwhelming exhaustion. To think that he lost so many people and been alone for so long.
He had thought, did he want to be close to San Lang? Did he want to risk hurting himself when he eventually left? Everybody has one way or another. Does he really want to move in with him and have a friend that he’ll have to move away from? Or he’ll watch San Lang grey and have a life away from him as he has to leave as well from never aging.
And to think he would never see that. That San Lang stuck in this world for so long for Xie Lian. To find the person that bonded with his soul after so long still trying to make sure he’s alright. Still trying to help him and give him comfort that he hasn’t had in so long.
“I’m not worth this. Why…”
“Gege is worth it.”
“Did you never want to reincarnate?”
San Lang shakes his head. His eyes are steely, angry not at Xie Lian but the very thought of leaving him alone, leaving him to be alone for another almost milenia. “Gege would be alone without me. I don’t wish to rest in peace if Gege is unhappy.”
Xie Lian feels tears clog his throat. He doesn’t know what to do. He hasn’t been faced with such devotion before. He hasn’t seen it in so long and it’s overwhelming. San Lang’s intensity leaves him weak and wrong footed. But it also leaves him warm, sated and happy that he has somebody. That this ghost is here because of a soul bond they made so long ago. That this ghost is ready to stay and be there because he’s been here for so long already.
Xie Lian gives a soft laugh. It’s a hollow thing. He feels so weary all of a sudden he can’t help the surge of bitterness at himself. “I’m over 800 years old. I’m a vampire. I was one of the most feared ones in the land for a time. To think this is where I am after so long.”
“But people betrayed you.” San Lang says quietly.
Xie Lian blinks, staring dumbly at San Lang, feeling his eyes widen. Was this a trap? Was he in danger?
“Gege was kind to the people he protected in his lands. But people thought he didn’t do enough when they killed people and were punished for it. That he was weak spined.”
Xie Lian blinks hard, trying to ignore the way his eyes cloud over. His face is too hot and he feels too much at once. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to do. He expected this to end with San Lang leaving him out of fear or disgust. Sometimes he’s been locked up in mental health facilities in the past. But San Lang only looks with clear devotion and... love.
Something sparks in his chest, something that has him leaning forward, pressing his lips to San Lang’s gently. There’s a gasp before San Lang melts and wraps his arms around Xie Lian’s waist. The kiss tastes like blood from Xie Lian but San Lang doesn’t flinch as he takes control of it. There’s a steadying hand behind Xie Lian’s head to tip it back, giving him ample room to take control.
They trade kisses back and forth until they both break away, panting and flushed. San Lang is pale, always pale and almost grey-blue, but he looks almost alive as he’s pink faced and eyes blown wide.
“Gege,” he says weakly.
It makes Xie Lian smile. “I should have kept a better track. I didn’t realize I soul bonded with you so long ago. Allow me to make up for the years lost.”
“Gege wasn’t at fault-”
“I know. Let me take care of you like you wish to take care of me though.”
San Lang smiles, giddy as he buries his face into Xie Lian’s neck. “How will Gege take care of me then?”
“When I move in, I’ll cook for you every night. I’ll make sure to help you clean when you’re home from your meetings. I’ll run you baths and make sure your hair is nice.”
San Lang falls backwards onto the bed so Xie Lain lays on top of him. “I look forward to coming home and seeing you cooking for me. But first, I’d like to take Gege out for dinner.”
Xie Lian feels giddy at the idea of going on a date with San Lang. He never had anybody romantically before, his family and two friends all he had until he didn’t. But to think of San Lang kissing him, pampering him and Xie Lian doing the same, it feels right. It makes him warm and excited for a future instead of just going through the motions.
He pushes into San Lang’s arms. He feels a kiss pressed to his head and he knows this is something he wants to last.