Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Giorno and Mista have an afternoon free. Mista decides it's a good idea to drag Giorno out for an impromptu date of sorts.

"Come on Giogio, it's rare for us to both have time off. Let me woo you with a date."

"Guido, you already woo-ed me that night in the outskirts of Sicily. You know when we went stargazing."

"You did all the work there. I just fumbled with my words and knew you needed to calm down. You had been working at 110% for weeks.

Now come on Babe, let's get gelato and go animal watching in the park."
~~~

Giorno got a strawberry gelato and Mista got a chocolate gelato . They walk hand in hand through the quiet park. Because they know, no one's gonna even think about bothering two Mafiosi. Deciding to sit near a pond the two spot a pair of ducks, "Look Giogio, ducks. They are both pretty colorful, that means they are both boy ducks right?"

"Correct, those are both Drakes. The specific species is the Tufted duck. You can tell because it kind of looks like they are wearing tuxedos.

It also looks like they are courting. If you look closely they are doing their mating ritual. They are taking turns splashing each other, before they puff up their feathers and spread their wings to show off how awesome of a mate they would be while swimming around the other."

"Oh, so they're like us."

Giorno blushes, "I'd say we're probably a lot better than them. There are some less than wholesome duck facts that I know about."

"Oh, really? Tell me about them."

"So, um so they often gang rape the female ducks to reproduce. Not all the time, but it happened enough that there is a follow up fact that goes with this. Male ducks have a corkscrew shaped penis."

"You've gotta be pulling my leg here Giogio, no way that's true!"

"I'm not lying Guido, this came about as an evolutionary arms race. A female ducks spiral shaped defense or a male ducks spiral shaped offense."

Buccellati and Abbacchio happened to also be at this park. So, when they see Giorno and Mista at the same park, they decide to say hi after catching the last of the younger couple's conversation. Abbacchio asks, "A spiral shaped what and what?"

Both try to act like they weren't caught out at a private moment. Quickly composing themselves to neutral faces. "Oh, Giorno was just telling me that male ducks have corkscrew shaped dicks. How are you two doing this afternoon?"

In disbelief Abbacchio stutters, "No fucking way is that true!"

Buccellati comments, "I'm going to have to agree with Abba here Giorno. That is not biologically possible."

"I'm serious, it's true!"
~~~

And this is how the four of them end up looking at a bird anatomy book in the library. Giorno tells them, "Look under the Anatidae family. That's where ducks are."

They flip through the book to page 44 where the page has three profile pictures of the male duck build. One of the whole duck, one of the skeleton, and one with its muscles. As well as a list of duck facts next to the pictures. On 43 was the exact same set of pictures for female ducks and a list of duck facts.

Mista takes notes of the page number and starts to cold sweat, "44 of all pages it had to be 44. I'm just going to wait somewhere else."And like that Mista has left to go to who knows where in the large library.

It takes the others longer than expected to find this particular duck fact. They are looking through their fourth book when Number 5 shows up, "Giogio, are you, Buccellati, and Abbacchio ok? It's been a really long time. Mista knew four was a bad number and 44 is twice as bad."

Holding his palm out for Number 5 to sit on, "Everything is fine Number 5. We are on our fourth book though, so Guido should probably still wait wherever he is."

Abbacchio interrupts, "Found your stupid fact, Golden Brat. I guess you're right."

Buccellati has stopped caring at this point, finding something much more entertaining. Questioning Giorno, "So, you and Mista are on a first name basis."

Playing it cool, "So, he's my best friend. Well, him and Trish. Anyway, we should go find him."

They find Mista looking through a book on the history of rom coms. He stands up and hugs the blonde, "Giogio, I was worried."

Buccellati might have thought that those two hugged a little too long. And Mista might have caught the glare of a slightly ticked off Mama Bear named Bruno Buccellati.

Chapter Text

It's supposed to be a normal dinner for Buccellati's team. Everyone was sitting at the table eating and chatting. This is about a week after Giorno's past is found out about. As well as a week into all the kids keeping a secret from Mom and Dad.

Narancia being the absolute troll that he is, mouths to Giorno, "I'm gonna tell them."

Giorno glares and Mista mouths back, "You do, and I'll tell them about you and Fugo's alone time."

Loud enough to quiet the rest of the table, "You wouldn't dare. I told you that in confidence!"

Standing up from his chair, "Try it, see what happens!"

Bruno yells at all of them, "All of you, behave or so help me your mouths will be zipped shut!"

"Bullshit, Mista started it."

"You fucking liar, Gremlin boy started it!"

Abbacchio yells this time, "Shut the fuck up, or Moody Blues will help me figure out EXACTLY what you all said to each other!"

Mista and Narancia return to their seats. Fugo smacks Narancia on the back of the head, "This is why we don't go starting shit Nara."
~~~

Bruno and Leone have a talk in their room later. "You weren't really going to zip their mouths shut, were you Bruno."

"Of course not Leone, the kids know it's an empty threat. I'm guessing you weren't going to use Moody either."

"There was no reason to, those kids are so easy to read. Narancia was being a dick to Giorno so Mista stepped in and threatened him back. You know with divulging his and Fugo's late night rendezvous."

They aren't as good at reading the kids as they think. They aren't aware of exactly why Mista went to Giorno's defense. They just think they are so good because Narancia and Fugo are shit at being sneaky.
~~~

Trish has taken the opportunity to sit and chat with Giorno in his office. Or in other words, she has found new and CREATIVE ways to fluster him about his relationship with Mista. Her presence isn't unappreciated, but Giorno REALLY wishes to get off the subject.

"Giorno, you know how to act in a normal relationship right? And all the THINGS that might come with that in the future."

Giorno tries his best to keep himself composed, feigning focus on the paperwork in front of him. Avoiding eye contact with his pink haired friend at all cost. "I at least have an idea of the mechanics, yes."

"You know you have to communicate about what you both want?"

With a blush having crept up Giovanna's face,"Yes, Trish I know. Now can we find a topic that isn't THIS!"

"We will, just looking out for you Gio. Considering you're lacking in some basic life knowledge. And I doubt you want to go asking questions to Buccellati and Abbacchio yet."

"I know what I'm doing! I am the Don of this entire fucking mafia circuit!"

"Giorno, and I say this with care as one of your closest friends. You can be quite the idiot.

I have watched you blatantly ignore all advice about how to take better care of yourself. In favor of not giving a single fuck."

"I'm calling bullshit, when did I ever do that?!?!"

This is about the time Buccellati walks in, to sit at his desk which is across the room from Giorno's. "What are we talking about?"

"About how bad Giorno is at taking care of himself. Like the time he went for a walk in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat. Making himself sick the next day."

"Oh come on, how was I supposed to know I would get sick."

Buccellati answers this one, "I literally told you as you walked out the door that it was about to rain and you needed a coat or umbrella. Also, the time you got in a fist fight with a guy on the street and came home with a black eye and four cracked ribs. What was that fight even about?"

"I don't even remember, it was probably something petty. I was in a grumpy mood that morning from so little sleep."

Trish takes this as another opportunity in embarrassing the golden haired teen, "All I remember is Mista had an aneurysm that day."

There is a little pause and quiet squeak from Giorno. Who is hiding his face in paperwork. Buccellati asks, "I get that we all worry for each other's well being. But why of all people did Guido lose it the most?"

Giorno silently curses out Trish for almost blowing his cover, "I don't know, might have to do with the fact I cracked four ribs. Or that he's supposed to be my bodyguard."

Buccellati plays along with Giorno's answers. Still not quite sure why Giorno is giving Trish an annoyed glare.

Chapter Text

Mista is supposed to be quietly on guard duty while Giorno is between meetings. Keyword here is, "SUPPOSED" to be. He was generally doing a good job of it. That was until Fugo and Narancia showed up. To give their reports and goof off with their friends for a short while.

Narancia and Mista are chatting as normal. Mista finds another, let's just say interesting topic, "Is water wet?"

Fugo gives a verbal report to Giorno, "Nothing much to note. Rounds were made and paid in full. We didn't notice anyone disliking the new order of how we run things now. Most civilians appreciate the lack of addicts causing problems in the city."

The two blondes continue to converse, vaguely listening to their idiot boyfriends conversation switch to, "Is lava wet?"

Giorno works on some more paperwork and Fugo pulls up a seat at his neighboring desk. No longer paying attention to Narancia and Mista's nonsensical chit-chat. That is until Narancia does what he normally does, start shit with his friends, "Do you make Giorno wet?"

In a rare turn of events Mista turns all red, "What the fuck Nara! Tell me EXACTLY what you mean by that!"

"Oh, you can't possibly be dumb enough to NOT know what I'm talking about. You know, wink wink, nudge nudge. Running all the bases for a home run."

Squeezing just a little too tightly on Gremlin boy's shoulder, "I was just giving you a chance to take it back. You are SO, a dead man!"

Narancia escapes out of Mista's grasp before bolting out of the office door. Screaming as he runs down the hall and a flight of stairs, "MAMA, save me!"

Skidding to a halt behind Buccellati. Who is making himself some tea in the kitchen. "What's wrong Nara?"

Before Narancia can answer, Mista comes racing into the kitchen as well. Yelling, "Narancia, come out from behind Buccellati and face me like an adult!"

"No way in hell am I doing that! You have a gun."

"Fine, I'll leave the gun on the table and not use Sex Pistols. If you agree not to use Aerosmith. Now let's talk, or we can settle this outside."
~~~

Abbacchio was volunteered as the referee for this match. Mainly because he's the biggest, and gives zero fuck about the outcome of this. So long as no one dies or is seriously injured, because it would upset Bruno to see something bad happen to one of his kids. (And not that deep down, Leone Abbacchio is a big softy for these idiots too).
~~~

Fugo is still in the office with Giorno, looking through paperwork. When he glances up to see that the younger teen is still reading the same page as five minutes earlier, "Something wrong Giorno?"

Giorno shakes his head to get back out of his trance, "Oh, uh, nothing really. Was just thinking about something else I guess. Nothing to worry you about."

"Worry me anyway."

"It's nothing really, what Narancia said to Guido got me a bit flustered. Don't worry it's no big deal or anything like that. Guido and I agreed to wait until I was 18 and good and ready. Just can't help that my mind went to the gutter now."

Both of them vaguely hear a cat-like hiss coming from outside. Giorno glances out the window, "And now Guido is shirtless fighting Narancia outside. Which is not helping. Narancia is shirtless too by the way."

Fugo glances out the window too. Pulling his seat up next to Giorno's, so they can both enjoy the view. This lasts for a couple minutes until Trish comes into the office to let them know about the fight. She quickly takes a picture before announcing her presence, "What ya staring at?"

Giorno quickly re-composes himself, "Nothing much really, was just getting back to work."

Trish glances out the window, "Ha, I was right! Giorno you little perv."

"I am not!"

"Bullshit, you saw Mista shirtless and were like, 'Work can wait.' I don't even get what the difference is to you. Mista's shirts barely cover anything."

"Um, how do I explain this?"

"Wait, don't explain it. I don't wanna know!"

"It's not THAT, I'm waiting until I'm an adult for THAT."

Fugo is holding his imaginary popcorn watching the verbal battle go down. When Buccellati walks in, "An adult, for what Giorno.?"

Playing it cool and hoping the blush creeping up his face isn't too noticeable, "Oh, just when I can try alcohol."

Bruno takes a decent look at Giorno, thinking he's full of shit. It's a blatant lie, but he'll let the kid have his secrets for now. "Ok then. Hand me a stack of those unfinished papers and I'll be at my desk."
~~~

Trish has already left the office. When Fugo and Giorno's phones ping with notifications. The pink haired woman decided to also be a troll. She sent the photo of the two of them staring out the window earlier today. With the caption, "Two horny blondes getting zero work done!"

Giorno blushes before he groans into his hands, "I'm so, going to kill Trish."

Fugo tries to be the voice of reason, "Come on Giorno it isn't that bad."

"Not that bad, Narancia and Mista are also in this group chat."

Fugo immediately switches to, "Trish has to die now."

Chapter Text

Giorno and Mista were out of town on a mission. Teach a punk disobeying orders a lesson in fear and mercy. It was a fairly quick job once they got there. However, the drive was long, so the two of them spent some alone time in a safe house for the night.

Let's just say, they make good use of their alone time. Not paying too much attention to the marks that will show up tomorrow. And this is how they are in their current predicament.

As Mista drives the car, Giorno laments the situation at hand. Hating the possibility of facing the music, to Bruno and Leone. "Crap Guido, what are we gonna do? That hickey I gave you is as plain as day."

"Relax Giogio, I don't want you to think negatively about yesterday. I had a good time making out. I think you had a good time as well. What we could do is lie and say the idiot from yesterday elbowed me in the collar."

"They aren't gonna fall for that. I can see bite marks around it."

"We could stop by a store and get me a turtleneck."

"I thought you hated turtle necks."

"I can make do, for your peace of mind Giogio."
~~~

Giorno is back in his shared office when Trish bursts in, to playfully accuse, "Giorno, you dog!"

Not looking up from his papers, "Whatever do you mean Trish?"

"I mean I saw that fat fucking hickey on Mista's neck."

"You must have misunderstood the situation. Mista just got elbowed in the collar by an enemy stand user."

"Cut the bullshit Giorno; I saw the indents from a bite. You gave your boyfriend a hickey and I'd bet money your suit collar is hiding yours too."

Giorno pauses from reading his paperwork to make eye contact with his pink haired friend. "I swear it's a bruise on Mista."

Desperately trying to block Trish from grabbing his collar, "Come on now, don't you believe me ... I'm ordering you to stop."

Trish uses Spice Girl to stretch the material, "Ha, I was right!"

She puts Giorno's suit collar back to normal. "Gio, don't worry about it. I'm not gonna say shit to anyone else. Just as long as Mista treats you well."

"Thanks Trish."

About now is when Fugo and Narancia walk in. Narancia blurts out,"Does anyone know why Mista is wearing a turtleneck? I thought he hated how constricting those things are."

Trish glances at Giorno before lying, "I can answer that, Mista had me alter it to the length he likes his shirts. All he said is he wanted to try something new."

Fugo looks to Trish then to Giorno who's burying himself in paperwork, "Now, I'm not sure why I think this, but I highly doubt Mista would try something he usually hates. That is, unless it's for Giorno. I bet he's hiding something."

This was a distraction for Narancia to get a look at what Giorno is hiding under his suit collar. Tugging slightly before the Don can grab his arm, "He has a hickey! Giorno has a hickey and I bet Mista has one too!"

Narancia, the idiot that came up with the group torture dance is front man. Trish sees the start of the formation and stands to the right. Fugo stands to the left. Giorno ignores them, letting them tire themselves out. Not glancing up from what he's reading he talks to the three dancing, "Your plan is flawed you guys. The dance does nothing to me."

Narancia answers, "The fact that you had to say something means it is."

Buccellati walks in, "Why are you doing the torture dance to Giorno?"

Trish and Fugo stop. Narancia continues and answers, "We found out something embarrassing for him. It's the best way to make fun of Gio."

Buccellati sits at his desk, "That's no reason to torture him. Now is it Giorno?"

"It really isn't Buccellati. I'm not gonna stop them from having their harmless fun though."

"If you don't mind me asking, what's the secret?"

Giorno, sweating bullets because the torture dance was low-key effective answers poorly, "Oh, uh, I kind of have a crush."

"That's adorable Giorno. Do I know them?"

"Probably. I'm not naming names."

"Come on now, I won't tell them. Give me a hint."

Narancia blurts, "It's a dude, on the team, hates the number four..."

Giorno uses Gold to kick Narancia in the side, making him fall into Fugo. "What the Hell was that for Giorno?"

"It's not your business to answer for me, Narancia."

Narancia sits back up, "Giorno, you and I both know you wouldn't have answered Buccellati with any helpful hints."

Buccellati glares at the both of them, "No fighting each other with stands you two. That's the only rule in this family and both of you know that.

Also Giorno, you have a thing for Mista. Seriously, Mista of all people.”

Nervously hiding his face in papers, "I'm not explaining why I like Guido. That's like you trying to explain why you like Abbacchio."

"That's fair. You know you can come to me for advice right, about life and in general?"

Sinking further down into his chair, hiding his blush. Stuttering in a squeaky voice,"I know. If I have questions, I'll ask."
~~~

Abbacchio notices Mista in his new Turtle neck in the living room, "Hey, Tweedle Dumber. Nice shirt. Why the change in attire?"

Fumbling with an answer, "Oh, uh, no reason. Thought I'd change things up a bit."
~~~

Buccellati and Abbacchio talk as they get ready for bed. "Hey, did you notice Tweedle Dumber and Golden Brat acting a little off today, Bruno?"

"I did. I believe the answer is that they both like each other. Giorno told me he has a little crush on Mista. And it was absolutely adorable watching him get all flustered talking about it and talking to Mista.

I don't know for sure about how Mista feels for Giorno."

Abbacchio lays down next to Buccellati in bed, "I have a feeling the idiot likes Giorno too. He was pretty adamant about his new Turtle neck that Giorno seemed to like on him."

"That's cute as fuck, hope things work out for them. Mista better not escalate things too quickly for Giorno though. Or his dick will be zippered off and thrown in a safe with three 4's for the combo."

Abbacchio chuckles, "I doubt Mista will do anything to hurt the kid. Especially with Mama Bear Buccellati on patrol."

"Oh, come on now. I'm not a Mama Bear!"

"Bruno, I've watched you sharpen a large knife while glaring holes into Narancia. After him and Fugo announced they were dating. That Gremlin almost pissed himself in fear."

"You know what happened to Fugo before we took him in at 13. I wanted to make sure he didn't get hurt again."

"Nara is a childish idiot. But, you and I both know he cares deeply for Fugo and would have done nothing of the sort. Especially if he knew it would hurt Pannacotta.

And Mista is an even bigger, caring idiot. Who puts himself in danger making sure the rest of us stay safe. Now, relax and go to sleep."
~~~

Giorno sneaks into Mista's room an hour after everyone has gone to bed. Mista is still awake waiting for Giorno when he enters the room. "Hey Giogio, ready for bed?"

"Yep, I'm ready. Scoot over a bit."

"How was your afternoon?"

"Good for the most part. Although Buccellati thinks I have a crush on you."

"So, THAT explains why he was sizing me up at dinner. Lookin like he was planning to execute me if I got too close to you."
~~~