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It was a quiet morning. The air was cool and the sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains in the horizon. It was early enough where the only people that were outside were runners and people walking their dogs before work…and Mac. Granted, he counted himself in with the runners.
He ran in time with the upbeat music that blasted in his ears. The wind on his face was crisp and blew lightly, making his eyes water slightly. His feet pounded on the sidewalk as he ran down the familiar path, releasing the tension inside him that had been building up for days.
Roughly one week ago, the team had been assigned to an op overseas in Hungary. As per usual, a few things went wrong and the team ended up getting trapped, requiring further assistance.
However, getting assistance from higher ups meant a painfully long debrief. Once exfill came to their aid, the never ending meetings began.
Normally, Mac didn’t mind debriefs. Technically all you had to do was listen as each one of your decisions were discussed and criticized. As long as Mac had a paper clip in hand, he didn’t mind it—anything to not be outrunning bad guys. You got to sit in an air conditioned room, in a comfortable chair, and have the company of your closest friends around you.
This debrief was different though. It was longer, more criticized, and Mac didn’t necessarily want to relive the multiple times him and his friends almost died in great detail. But that was part of the job wasn’t it? An occupational hazard.
Their last meeting had lasted until late last night, causing Mac to immediately crash when he arrived home. Luckily, Matty was able to spare them the weekend off, making sure they would be fully rested for the following week. But despite how much it appealed to the blonde to stay in bed all day, his brain couldn’t shut off. So he did what he normally did, ran until he felt better.
It was pretty cliché, but it worked for him. So here he was, up at the crack of dawn, running his favorite path.
After running about four miles, Mac’s pace started to slow as he came to a stop for some water. Chugging the water, he noticed he was approaching the part of the path where he could either head home or do another lap. Due to him wanting a shower and the low rumble in his stomach that had started a mile ago, he decided to head home.
As he approached the house, he could hear light music playing. He grinned and let out a small laugh, it was definitely Riley blasting music. Mac had caught her a few times blasting her music on her speaker when Mac wasn’t home, knowing full well she wouldn’t do it while he was home in fear of annoying him.
It did frustrate him that she wouldn’t blast it when he was home though. She had moved in two months ago and all Mac wanted was for her to feel at home. Sure, he wouldn’t listen to Harry Styles on his own, but he would if she was playing it. Anything to make her feel comfortable.
Hearing the music prompted him to pull out his phone and check the time: 6:25. Early, but that didn’t surprise him. Riley seemed tense during the debrief as well, and as much as Riley loved her sleep, when something was on her mind, that was the last thing she could do.
It was the “something” though, that Mac couldn’t place. He knew that Riley felt similarly towards debrief as him, so whatever was bothering her wasn’t mission-related. That just made things worse though, because that meant it was something personal. As much as Mac respected her boundaries, even knowing he would do the same, he wished she would open up to him about whatever was going on. She had been more reserved recently and Mac just couldn't tell why. At first he thought it was the whole Aubrey situation, but she still hasn't gone back to "normal." He knew she would though, it would just take some time and he would be there ready when she did.
Another grumble from his stomach snapped him back into reality as he reached for the door handle. Breakfast was the number one priority, and since Riley was up maybe he could convince her to go to the nearby diner with him. They hadn’t had much alone time recently due to missions and Desi always at the house, so he was definitely craving alone time with her. (He also may or may not be hoping she would spill her thoughts to him).
It wasn’t until he opened the door and stepped inside the house that he realized the music wasn’t coming from a speaker, it was coming from a piano—or a keyboard. His eyebrows furrowed as he softly closed the door behind him.
Mac knew Riley had a keyboard in her bedroom. When he had first seen it he just assumed that Bozer had left it here after moving out since he made his own soundtracks for his films. It wasn’t until the keyboard was still around a month later and he finally asked about it when he found out Jack had given it to her for her for her last birthday. As far as Mac was concerned, Riley didn’t know how to play and only kept it around as a memory of Jack while he was deployed. Turns out he was wrong, way wrong. The chords were being played in a steady rhythm and the beautiful sound filled the house.
Interested, Mac took a few steps towards the hallway, stopping just before the corner. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the door to Riley’s room cracked open, making the music perfectly clear.
Not too long after he had moved, a voice started singing along with the keyboard, and not just any voice. It was Riley’s.
“I don’t hate you,
No I couldn’t if I wanted to,
I just hate all the hurt that you put me through,”
Mac was shell shocked. He had no idea Riley could play the keyboard or sing, and sound damn good doing it too. The question of whether she could sing or not had never occurred to Mac. Anytime Bozer had set up karaoke nights she wouldn't take a turn at the mic, no one questioned it either. The only one who pestered her about it was Jack, and Mac just thought that was because he wanted to duet or make sure she wasn't being excluded. Looking back on it, he probably knew and Mac was pissed he kept it from him.
“And that I blamed myself for letting you,
Did you know I already knew?”
Suddenly an out of tune chord played and the singing stopped. For a second, Mac was worried that he had been made. It would be awkward to be caught listening like this, and not just that, he knew she wouldn’t continue playing if she knew he was home. Turns out, that wasn’t the case, because after a few seconds of silence, the chords started again that was soon joined by a light hum, eventually turning into more lyrics.
“Couldn’t even see you through the smoke,
Looking back I probably should have known.
But I just wanted to believe that you out here sleeping alone,”
The lyrics started to resonate with Mac—they were deep. He wasn’t sure which song it was as he didn’t recognize the tune. He really enjoyed it though, there was obviously a deep meaning behind it and that was a necessity for Mac's style of music.
He started to feel like a creep, just standing in the hallway listening. Deciding to just go for it, Mac turned the corner into the hallway. Approaching Riley’s door, knowing it was no use since he could see inside, he still knocked twice before calling out “Riles?”
He saw Riley freeze on the bench and whip around to see behind her. When her eyes met his they were full of an expression he rarely sees from her—embarrassment. He wasn’t sure why though, she had no reason to be embarrassed. But then again, this was Riley. Riley had things within her own personal boundaries that she kept to herself and didn't share with anyone from the team, even Mac.
“Come in,” she said quietly. Upon hearing that, Mac pushed the door open a little further so he could enter the room as Riley scooted the bench around so she could face him.
He wasn’t sure where to go next with this. It was obvious she wasn’t comfortable singing or even playing in front of others or else he would’ve known. But it also seemed like she wasn’t looking to make conservation about it on her end.
“You can play…,” Mac decided to just come right out with it. “And sing?”
“How much did you hear?” Riley asked desperately.
“A bit—which sounded amazing. I had no idea you could do any of this.”
Riley shrugged and gave him a sheepish smile. “It’s nothing special.”
“What song were you singing?” Mac decided to ignore her personal dismissal and continue on. He saw Riley hesitate before speaking.
“I wrote it.”
“You what?” Mac asked surprised. “You wrote that?”
Riley nodded. “I write songs sometimes. It’s really just a hobby, I never do anything with them and nine times out of ten they aren’t even good. Just a way for me to get my thoughts out, it like journaling, I guess.”
“Who else knows you can do this?”
“Just Jack. He found out I took music classes when he was with my mom and knows I still like music. He even had me record a few songs that I wrote and burned them onto a CD so he could listen to them in the GTO,” she said, an embarrassed tone laced in her voice.
That did make sense to Mac though. During their impromptu road trip to find his dad, Jack had given Mac the rare opportunity to choose the music. Mac had flipped through the CDS and stumbled across one with no label. After asking what it was Jack had quickly dismissed it, simply telling him something along the lines of "you wouldn't like it."
But he would’ve. He definitely would have if he had known it was Riley’s voice on the track.
“Please don’t tell anyone. Especially Bozer, he’ll make me sing with him at our karaoke nights.”
Mac chuckled at her worried tone. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” A relief visibly washed over her and she seemed to be slightly more relaxed than she was previously, making Mac happy.
“So,” Mac continued. “What’s the name of this song?”
Riley looked at him a little hesitantly but answered anyway “Wrong Direction.”
“What’s it about?”
Riley’s face fell, and the precious eye contact they had shared was broken, making Mac nervous to say the least. “It’s about Billy.”
If he wasn’t listening, he probably would have missed it based on how quiet she said it.
“Billy?” Mac repeated, receiving a head nod in response. The pair had broken up over a year ago, and while the breakup was a rough one, Riley had moved on a while ago.
“It was good-I, was good. But then yesterday before debrief he had texted me, wanted to get together for coffee because he was in town on a skip.” She stopped for a moment, regaining her thoughts. “I, of course, didn’t want to but curiosity got the best of me. I asked him what he wanted to meet about and he said he wants to talk about why we broke up…and if we could still possibly have a future together.”
Mac felt his blood boiling. Billy wasn’t worthy of Riley in the first place and now he wants to drag her back into what ended up being a toxic relationship. “Is that what you want?”
Riley shook her head. “No, God no. I never want to be in that situation again.”
Good. Knowing that she was just as against the idea as he was calmed him a bit. If she had stepped foot back in that relationship willingly Mac would’ve put a stop to it, which most definitely would put a strain on their friendship. (Not to mention Jack would fly all the way back just to put an end to it).
“I guess the situation just brought back some buried emotions and unwanted memories, I spent the night writing this.”
Mac’s eyes widened. “The whole night?” He very clearly remembered her going to bed before him. He would’ve never gone to sleep if he had known she was still up.
Mac suddenly got hopeful. “Well, let’s hear it.”
“What?”
“The song, I want to hear the song.”
“Mac, you don’t-“
“Riles,” he interrupts. “I want to.”
A bashful smile spread across her face as she scooted her stool back around and settled in front of the keyboard. Immediately, the familiar chords started playing. Mac crossed his arms with a bright smile as the song started.
“I don’t hate you,
No I couldn’t if I wanted to,
I just hate all the hurt that you put me through,
And that I blamed myself for letting you,
Did you know I already knew?
Couldn’t even see you through the smoke,
Looking back I probably should have known,
But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleeping alone,
Love me with your worst intentions,
Didn’t even stop to question,
Every time you burned me down
Don’t know how, for a moment it felt like heaven,
Love me with your worst intentions,
Painted us a happy ending,
Every time you burned me down
Don’t know how for a moment it felt like heaven,
And it’s so gut-wrenching,
Falling in the wrong direction
On my tip-toes,
But I still couldn’t reach your ego,
Guess I was crazy to give you my body, my mind
Don’t know what I was thinking ‘til now,
Everyone thinks that you’re somebody else,
You even convinced yourself”
Once Riley finished, she turned back around to face Mac. “That’s all I have, it’s not much more than what you heard before. I have a feeling you were listening for a while.”
Mac chuckled and shrugged. “More or less. But, everything I heard sounded really good, you should put this somewhere.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.” Riley gave him a sincere smile. “Thanks, Mac.”
“Of course. Now, what you say I shower up and we head to that diner down the street? Take advantage of our day off, you know?”
“Sure, that sounds good," Riley agreed.
“Great, than afterwords you can show me more of the songs you wrote,” Mac said with a bright smile before exiting the room, not giving her a chance to argue.
Riley rolled her eyes at his antics but smiled genuinely to herself. She was lucky to have Mac as a close friend, and even though she had some newly discovered feelings for him, she knew he would always be there no matter what.