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Gin doesn’t cry. He’s a big boy, he hasn’t cried since he was ten, and that was only because the street was packed and everyone was shouting and pushing and running. He’d felt this horrible hot itch travel under his clothes, like every individual thread was scratching at his skin. His mom’s hand clasping his had been suffocating and his head throbbed violently; everything had felt like it was on the brink of exploding. He doesn’t remember much of what happened after that, aside from hearing himself start sobbing.
His mom called it a “meltdown”, like he was a snowman or something. He knows she felt bad about it, because she bought him ice cream and didn’t even nag him about Mew-chan needing a wash. He felt bad as well though, because he’d ruined their special day. His mom worked really, really hard but she’d made time to take him out specially and he’d ended up stuck at home, just like he was when she was busy at work.
The doctor at the infirmary had said that it wasn’t his fault when he mentioned it, but then he smiled in that awful, creepy way that made Gin’s stomach knot with anxiety. The teacher always encouraged Gin to get upset, but he was stubborn and when he said no, he meant it. He liked the doctor apart from his scary smile and seaweed hair, though - he was always willing to hear Gin out and they talked often. But still, there was something about the look in his eyes when he told Gin that he should cry more often that made him feel frightened.
So Gin doesn’t cry. Not even when Mishima’s head falls from his shoulders and the entire room starts to smell like burning. Gin inhales heavily through his mask, trying do the breathing exercises that the nice doctor people taught him. He calms a little but his eyes won’t stop watering. Him and big sis Nao sit down next to Mishima after everyone else heads off. Gin rests his hands against the old guy’s lapels and tries very hard not to look at what remains of his neck. He bites his lip with all his might and doesn’t cry, not even a little. And if Nao clutches his hand in her grief-stricken blindness, and the tears that hit their clasped fingers are his, no one needs to know. He secretly wipes his wet cheeks on the edge his hood and squeezes her hand.
He doesn’t cry when the pipes grab Joe, or when the floor around him turns red and sticky, or when Sara starts choking and weeping and collapses. He runs over to help her even though it brings him closer to the centre of the room, where Joe is. It smells awful and he immediately feels bad for thinking something mean like that about big bro Joe, but he can’t ignore it. It smells familiar, like the pretty pink room Mishima died in.
Before Gin can help Sara, Mr Policeman steps in front of him and guides him back. He tells them to give her space and Gin is tiny bit grateful to be further away from where Kai and Joe lie, motionless.
He doesn’t cry when he gets trapped in that horrid metal cage and big sis Sara starts waving the flashlight around frantically, but he wants to. It shines in his eyes and he feels his breathing gradually begin to pick up. It feels like the walls of the cage are closing in on him. He can hear the machine mechanism clicking and the faces appearing around him and Sara and Keiji’s conversation and his own heart thumping louder and louder, and the light won’t stop flashing. His mind feels like it’s short-circuiting, crashing and overloaded. When Sara and Mr Policeman get him out, his knees are too weak to stand unsupported and it takes several minutes for his brain to start working properly again.
But he still doesn’t cry, because he needs to be strong to help protect big sis Sara. Soon it’ll be him holding her up, not the other way around. When he tells her as much, she just smiles sadly at him.
Her smile is different now, since Joe’s death. It’s fragile and weak, a far cry from the infectious way she grinned when he was still here. It makes Gin want to help her even more. She deserves to smile like she used to again.
He doesn’t cry but even he can’t deny the sobs that burst from him when the stinger injects him during the Final Attraction. He can’t even begin to hide his tears when he feels the venom racing through his blood, clogging his veins. The room erupts into shouts, overlapping in frantic horror. He feels very light-headed, hanging helplessly from the cuffs securing him to the target, as the voices come to him in fractured shards. He vaguely hears Keiji yelling something to Reko and Reko screaming back.
In his addled mind, all he can think is that he doesn’t want this to happen. He doesn’t want to make big sis Sara look so terrified, craning over the edge of the platform with desperate eyes. He doesn’t want to feel his heart slowing until he can barely sense it and his fingertips start to get cold. He doesn’t want to his vision to waver and darken, obscuring the faces of his friends and allies. But the venom isn’t giving him much of a choice and in this state, he finds he’s not embarrassed in the least about the tears running down his face.
When he wakes up on the floor with Q-Taro beside him, his eyes are still wet, but he feels better - and not least because of the antidote flooding his system.
His newfound calm is quickly disrupted by the news of the Second Main Game.
He cries again after the final vote. He can’t help it, watching Sou rip his collar off and sprint from the room. But unlike the other times, they’re not tears of panic or pain. Seeing the loner running, defiant and alive, makes something close to optimism rise in his chest. He feels his eyes dampen as Sara tears after Sou, hoping against reason that he survives. He never liked the guy much, but he doesn’t want any of them to die. He was always nice to Bucket Girl, at least...
Sara comes back some time later, with blood staining her uniform and tears in her eyes, but she’s smiling. Gin’s struck with odd, second-hand deja-vu, as he realises it’s the way she used to smile at Joe - bright and bubbly and compelling. It’s still a little cracked and wobbly around the edges, but she looks genuinely happy for the first time since Sue Miley handed her that button and told her to press.
Gin can guess what the blood on her uniform means but he finds himself beaming back, tears forgotten. If big sis Sara can smile through the unhappiness, then so can he.