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Riley brows furrow tightly as she stirs in the bed, her ears picking up on the telltale sound of tiny bare feet hitting against the hardwood floor. She became a much lighter sleeper after having kids, and it’s a miracle if she doesn’t wake up at the quietest of noises. It’s honestly annoying some of the time when she genuinely wants to sleep in but can’t. And seeing as she has a two-month-old that she gets up with every couple of hours to nurse him, she takes sleep wherever she can get it. Which, unfortunately, is not right now.
Before she’s even fully aware of it, the bedroom creaks open, tiny feet hit against the hardwood, and then a small mass is landing on top of her. She lets out a grunt as she rolls onto her back, grateful for once that Mac hadn’t curled himself around her like usual when she came back to bed after nursing Wyatt. He’s very lucky that he doesn’t have boobs and that Wyatt is fussier than the girls ever were and refuses to take a bottle during the night.
“Hi, mommy,” Ellie whispers, leaning down so she’s inches away from Riley’s face.
Riley squints up at her daughter. “Hi, baby. What are you doing awake?” she asks.
Ellie grins. “Tomorrow’s school, mommy.”
Riley nods. “Yes, it is. But you should still be sleeping.”
“I can’t, mommy.”
Riley raises a brow. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”
Ellie lets out a heavy breath, flopping down completely, her chin resting on Riley’s chest. “I’m so excited.”
Riley smiles, running a hand over her daughter's head. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you get to wake up early. And wake me up early too.”
“But I can’t sleep, mommy.”
“Hmm…something tells me that you haven’t tried.”
“I did try. But sometimes I can’t sleep.”
“Oh, I know that very well. You have a mind just like your daddy. His mind is always working in overdrive that sometimes he can’t get to sleep either. He likes to tinker with things at night and make stuff.”
Ellie gasps quietly. “Like my k’nex?”
Riley laughs. “Not exactly.”
Movement from beside her grabs Riley’s attention and she turns her head to see Mac starting to stir.
He breathes deeply as he cracks his eyes open, his brows furrowing slightly. “Riles? What’s Ellie doing up?”
Ellie chooses that moment to roll over and land on her back on the mattress, lying directly between Mac and Riley. “I can’t sleep, daddy.”
Mac lets out a breath as he rises up just a little on his elbow. “Oh, you can’t?”
Ellie shakes her head. “Uh-uh.”
Riley just lies there with a smile as she watches Mac interacting with their firstborn. It’s been just over five years and the way he looks at their little girl hasn’t changed one bit from the day she was born. He still has that same unconditional love that he’s had from the very first moment, and he makes it look so incredibly easy. She’s always in awe of how amazing of a father he is.
And Ellie looks at Mac with the same adoration she’s had since day one. Mac will argue with her that Ellie had absolutely no look of adoration on the day she was born, but Riley won’t budge. Ellen Grace is in absolute awe of her dad, while Mac one hundred percent dotes on and spoils Ellie, and that’s exactly how it should be.
Soft noises coming from the baby monitor on the nightstand next to the bed reluctantly pulls Riley’s attention away from her husband and daughter. She glances at the time and lets out a breath; the hours go by way too quickly when you have a nursing baby.
“I'll get him,” Mac says before she can even move.
“I wanna help!” Ellie exclaims, thankfully quietly, as she jumps up from where she’s lying so she’s now standing on the mattress. Just like she said on the day Wyatt was born, she helps out at every chance she gets.
Mac smiles. “You wanna help? Alright then, come on.” He grabs Ellie underneath the arms and hoists her up onto his hip.
Riley watches him shuffle toward the door and then she shifts on the bed so she’s sitting up, resting her head back against the headboard. She closes her eyes for a moment and just soaks up the silence. Quiet moments are rare when you have three small children, even sometimes at night.
A few minutes pass before Mac is entering the room again with Ellie at his side, and he’s cradling their son in his arms with a half-asleep Cassie clinging to his back like a monkey.
Riley smiles at the image they make. “I see we’ve got one more joining us.”
“She heard me getting Wyatt and woke up long enough to basically demand I carry her too,” Mac explains as he sits down on the mattress, being mindful of the toddler attached to him.
Riley nods. “Ah.” She immediately takes Wyatt from her husband, holding him against her chest as she shifts a little more on the bed to get comfortable. Wyatt’s head starts nuzzling against her chest and she just smiles. “I know, I know.” She quickly and easily adjusts the front of her shirt to expose her breast to the baby, leaning back against the headboard as he latches on.
She lets her gaze drift to the side when she hears quiet noises, her heart melting when she sees Ellie sitting up in Mac’s lap, facing him, the two of them whispering quietly to each other with wide smiles. Cassie is lying in the middle of the bed, her arms and legs spread out as much as they can be, her mouth hanging open slightly. It’s definitely a sight to see. One that she loves.
Grabbing the burp cloth from the nightstand once Wyatt finishes nursing, Riley drapes it over her shoulder and then lifts the baby up to it. She gently pats at his back as she watches the other members of her family. She should be upset that Ellie is still wide awake and that Mac is encouraging it, but she loves seeing them interact.
“Something tells me we’re not gonna have the bed to ourselves for the rest of the night,” Riley remarks quietly as she lowers Wyatt from her shoulder and gently settles him on her legs.
Mac looks over at her. “You know you love it, though, Riles.”
“Yeah, Riles,” Ellie echoes, sitting up on her knees and wrapping her arms around Mac’s neck with a smile. “You love it.”
Riley laughs quietly. “You, little miss, don’t get to call me ‘Riles’. That’s reserved for daddy. You call me ‘mommy’.”
Ellie giggles, leaning her head against Mac’s shoulder and then unwrapping her arms so she falls backwards against the mattress, landing with a quiet thud. More giggles bubble up out of her as she rolls onto her side.
Riley lets out a breath and looks at Mac. “Looks like we should at least try and get some more sleep. Especially when this one’s gonna be up again in a few hours,” she says, gently rubbing her hand over Wyatt’s belly.
“Yeah, I suppose so.” Mac leans across the bed, being careful of Cassie lying between them, and gives her a quick kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Think you can get Ellie to settle down and try to sleep for a little while longer?”
“I make no promises on her getting back to sleep.”
“Well then at least just keep her quiet so she doesn’t wake Cass up.”
He nods as he sits back against the headboard. “That I can do.”
Carefully picking Wyatt up off her legs, Riley holds the baby against her as she slides down in the bed. She lets out a breath, shifting a little and then settling Wyatt on her chest so he’s comfortable. She presses a lingering kiss to the top of his head, breathing deeply and inhaling the same sweet baby smell that all of her kids had, and then lies back against her pillow.
With a hand resting firmly on her son’s back, and the sounds of her husband and daughter talking softly floating toward her, Riley drifts off to sleep.
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Rubbing a hand up and down her son’s back from his place nestled comfortably in the same baby wrap they used for their other two kids, Riley smiles as she watches Mac and Ellie walk in front of her down the hallway. They’re holding hands, Ellie’s backpack bouncing and hitting against the backs of her knees as she skips, her free hand gesturing wildly as she talks to Mac.
Soft noises draw her attention to the baby snuggled up against her chest and she smiles. She drops a kiss to the top of his head. “Your sisters are growing up way too fast,” she whispers, thinking about how independent Cassie is already starting to become at only just over a year old. “I think mommy might freak out if she blinks one day and you’re all grown up.”
“Mommy! Mommy, look!”
Tearing her gaze away from her son, Riley looks to where her family is, smiling when she sees Ellie standing in front of an open classroom door. “What am I looking at?” she asks as she gets closer.
Ellie smiles brightly up at her. “Mommy, that’s Connor’s name!” she exclaims, pointing at one of the fun labels stuck to the classroom door. “Connor’s in my class.”
Riley laughs quietly. “I know he is, baby girl. We found that out at the Back-To-School party, remember?”
Ellie tilts her head with slightly furrowed brows, and then she giggles. “Oh, yeah. Where is Connor, mommy? I wanna see him.”
“I’m not sure. They should be on their way, though.”
“Actually, we’re right here,” a familiar voice says from behind her. “If it’s us you were talking about.”
“Connor!”
“Ellie!”
Riley laughs as she watches her daughter collide with Connor, their arms wrapping so tightly around each other that they almost fall over. But thankfully Mac is close enough and he keeps their tiny bodies from collapsing on the floor. She can’t keep the smile off her face as she watches the two kids turn their hugs on Mac, wrapping themselves around his legs to keep from moving. And Mac plays right along, being completely over-the-top.
“It feels like just yesterday they were learning how to walk.”
Riley turns toward the woman next to her and smiles. “And learning how to talk.” She lets out a heavy breath. “I can’t believe how fast the time has gone by, Lisa. I swear I was just bringing her home from the hospital for the first time.”
The woman laughs quietly. “Oh, yes, that’s a feeling I’m all-too-familiar with. Connor being my last doesn’t make it any easier.”
“I don’t think I’m emotionally prepared for all of my kids to grow up. It’s already been two months since we had Wyatt and I feel like it just went by so incredibly fast.”
Lisa just laughs quietly and leans a little closer. “How is the little guy doing?”
“Really well,” she tells her, glancing down at her son and smiling. “I know I told Mac that Wyatt would be our last, but whenever I hold him like this it just makes me want another one.”
Lisa smiles and nods. “Oh, I’ve been there before with each of my boys.”
“All the crying and sleepless nights are worth it, though,” Riley says, her eyes drifting back over to Mac, Ellie, and Connor. “Ellie, be careful, please,” she calls out when she catches Ellie actually trying to climb up Mac’s body like she does with the trees whenever she’s outside. She lets out a breath and looks at Lisa. “I swear she’s going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”
Lisa just laughs quietly. “I know the feeling. But we should probably make them go into their classroom now, huh?”
“Probably.” Riley waits for a quick beat and then steps forward to pry her daughter off of Mac and set her feet on the floor. She brushes her daughter’s curls back and smiles down at her. “What do you think, baby girl? Are you ready to go inside?”
Ellie grins and nods. “Yeah!” She immediately turns toward her best friend. “Connor, come on.” She grabs the little boy’s hand and pretty much drags him along behind her into the classroom.
Riley lets out a heavy breath and leans against Mac. “I don’t know whether to be sad or proud that she didn’t want us to walk in with her.”
Mac’s hand runs gently up and down her back. “I think it’s okay to be a little bit of both. But we should probably get in there just to make sure she’s okay and everything.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” She stands up a little straighter and then makes her way into the classroom with Mac right behind her. The classroom looks exactly the way a kindergarten classroom should look, full of bright colors and big, bold words, and lots of toys and learning supplies.
Riley spots her daughter almost immediately toward the center of the classroom, near one of the clusters of desks. Connor is right next to her and they’re still chatting excitedly, though Ellie is doing most of the talking. “Did you find your seat, baby?” Riley asks as she gets closer to her daughter.
Ellie looks up at her and smiles. “Yeah. Connor’s right next to me.”
“Well, that’ll be fun. But you gotta promise me that you two are going to pay attention in class, okay?”
“We will, mommy. Promise.”
“Good.” She takes a deep breath and shifts a little on her feet, crouching down so she’s at eye level with her eldest. “Daddy and I are going to leave in a little bit since school’s gonna start soon. Are you gonna be the best listener and work your hardest?”
Ellie nods with a smile. “Yeah. I promise.”
“Awesome. Now give me a hug.” She smiles when Ellie hugs her tightly around the neck, thankfully being mindful of baby Wyatt still attached to her. She wraps one arm around her daughter’s back, resting the other on the nearest desk to keep her balance, and hugs her daughter close. Her heart swells when Ellie pulls back after a moment, stating that she needs to say goodbye to Wyatt too.
Ellie stands on her toes a little, using Riley’s shoulder for balance, and presses a kiss to her baby brother's forehead. “Bye bye, Wyatt. I love you so so much. Be good for mommy while I’m at school, okay? I’ll give you a super big giant hug when I get home, okay? I love you.”
Riley smiles at the sweet moment between the siblings, even if Wyatt is completely unaware of what’s happening. She stands up once Ellie steps away to say goodbye to Mac, letting out a small breath. She glances to the side to see Lisa saying goodbye to Connor as well.
The next thing she knows, she’s standing in the classroom doorway again with Mac, watching as their little girl becomes completely enamored with everything her young teacher is saying. And while Riley may not have known Mac when they were kids, she likes to think that he had a very similar expression of awe and interest whenever his teachers would speak.
Mac’s arm snakes around her waist as he pulls her closer, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “You gonna be okay, Riles?”
She tilts her head to look up at him with a raised brow. “Me? You’re the one who has to say goodbye to his little shadow every day now that she’s in school.”
“She was in school last year too.”
Riley shakes her head. “No, she was in Pre-K last year, for three days a week. Meaning you still had her at home the other two days, plus weekends.”
Mac lets out a breath. “Okay, fine. It’s going to take some getting used to. But can you really blame me?”
“No, I cannot. It’s gonna be weird for me too. But we should probably get home before we end up standing here all day watching her in class.”
“Would that really be such a bad thing?”
Riley snorts. “Yes, it would be.” She grabs her husband’s hand and gently tugs on it as she takes a few steps away from him. “Come on, let’s get home so we can at least pretend like we tried to do something other than worry about Ellie being at school all day.”
Mac sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping. “Alright.” He steps closer to her, lacing their fingers together as they begin walking down the hall toward the entrance of the school. It’s gonna be an interesting day, that’s for sure.
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Shuffling into the living room after nursing Wyatt and putting him down for his mid-morning nap, Riley stops and smiles at the sight in front of her. Mac is lounging on the couch with the TV on playing one of the Disney cartoons that Ellie loves, their eldest daughter’s favorite stuffed animal clutched securely in his arms. His eyes are fixed on the screen but she’s unsure if he’s actually paying attention to it or not.
She leans against the nearest surface and watches him for a moment longer. His head dips a little and then she sees his mouth moving. She stifles a laugh behind her hand when she realizes that he’s talking to Ellie’s stuffed animal.
Pushing off the piece of furniture, Riley strides across the room until she’s standing behind the couch. She leans forward so her head is next to her husband’s and then turns to look at him. “Bored?”
Mac lets out a heavy sigh and leans his head against the back of the couch. “Extremely.”
Riley reaches up to card her fingers through his hair, gently scratching at his scalp. “Well, have you tried tinkering? That usually helps.”
“Already did. But it wasn’t the same. Everything feels off. It’s only been five years but I got so used to having her around all the time.”
Riley smiles, her suspicions one hundred percent confirmed. “You know Ellie’s gonna be fine at school, right? She’s probably the smartest, sweetest, kindest, most outgoing, most energetic five-year-old I’ve ever met.”
Mac sighs heavily again. “I know, Riles. I know she’ll be fine.” He tilts his head to look at her, pure devastation written all across his face. “But I won’t be. I miss my girl.”
Riley raises a brow. “I thought I was your girl.”
He smiles softly. “You know you are. But I miss my other girl,” he says, his smile faltering. “My baby, my firstborn, the one who made me a dad. In the back of my head, I know what life was like before we had her, but it’s like I can’t bring myself to experience that again. Not after knowing what having her in my life is like. I can’t do it. It’s impossible.”
Riley just rolls her eyes at her husband’s words and presses a kiss to his temple. “You’re so dramatic,” she mumbles, moving around the side of the couch to sit down next to him. She grabs the remote for the tv and shuts it off, earning a protest from Mac. She just raises a brow at him. “Babe, don’t even start, I know you weren’t really watching that.”
Mac pouts, actually pouts, crossing his arms over his chest and sinking down a little on the couch.
Riley just laughs. “Oh, my goodness, you are ridiculous.”
“What else do you want from me, Riley?” he asks, sounding exhausted. “I’m sorry if I’m distraught by our oldest daughter being in school full time.”
She raises her brows at him again. “And you don’t think I’m not messed up emotionally by all of this? Because I am. It’s just like you said, she’s our baby, the one who made us parents. And with her starting school, it makes me remember that she’s growing up and eventually she won’t need us anymore and—damn it!” She laughs as she wipes at her eyes, hoping to stop the tears from falling. “You see what you’ve gone and made me do?”
Mac just laughs with her and then wraps his arm around her shoulder to pull her towards him.
She happily goes, curling into his side and resting her head on his chest, one arm draping over his torso. “I know I’ve been preparing myself for her going to school all day, but I’m still not a fan.”
“You’re preaching to the choir right now, Riles,” he says, his hand absentmindedly rubbing up and down her arm. “I don’t know what to do right now?”
“Well, I know what I want to do.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Ellie is at school all day, Cassie is with mom and Jack, and Wyatt is napping.” She tilts her head back to look at her husband. “I’m gonna take advantage of this opportunity before Wyatt wakes up wanting to be fed again, and I’m gonna take a nap too. Care to join me?” she asks with a small smile.
Mac smiles back at her. “You sleep. I think my brain’s running a little too fast for me to sleep right now. But I’ll happily hold you while you sleep.”
Riley pushes up just enough to kiss him quickly. “Sounds perfect.”
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“Mommy!”
Riley grins when she sees her daughter darting across the pavement toward her, a wide smile spread across the little girl’s face, her backpack bouncing against the backs of her legs. She stoops down just enough to catch her daughter in her arms and lift her up, hugging her tightly and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Hi, baby girl. Oh, I missed you so much. Did you have a fun first day?”
Ellie leans back and nods enthusiastically. “So much, mommy. I wanna come back tomorrow.”
Riley smiles at her daughter’s words. “You get to come back everyday, sweet girl. Every Monday through Friday you get to come here and learn more stuff.”
Ellie smiles. “So cool. Is Wyatt here?” she asks a second later, peering around Riley as if she’s hidden the baby somewhere.
Riley shakes her head at her daughter’s question, shifting her hold a little. “No, he’s at home with daddy because he was still sleeping. Daddy ended up falling asleep too so I let him keep sleeping and came to get you myself.”
Ellie sinks a little. “Oh. Can we go home now?”
“Of course we can. Do you want to say bye to any of your friends?”
Ellie shakes her head. “No, I already said bye to them.”
“Well alright then, let’s go home.” She presses another kiss to her daughter’s cheek and then turns to make her way across the pavement and toward the space where she parked earlier.
It’s a relatively quiet ride back to the house, the radio on and set to Ellie’s favorite station, playing many songs that she knows. But the little girl is as quiet as ever in her booster seat, staring out the window instead of singing along to the music. Riley knows it’ll turn around very quickly, though, once they get home and Ellie can see Wyatt. She loves how much Ellie dotes on Wyatt, always wanting to be the one to take care of him, even if there are some things she’s incapable of doing for the baby. But they always let her help out wherever she is able to, and Ellie takes great pride in that.
As soon as they pull into the driveway, Riley can’t help but smile at what she sees in front of her. Mac is relaxing on a lawn chair with baby Wyatt curled up on his chest, and Cassie sitting on her own chair next to him eating a snack.
Riley glances through the rear view mirror at her eldest daughter. “Hey, El, look who’s outside?”
Ellie turns and then gasps, bouncing excitedly in her seat. “Mommy, open the door! Please please please!”
Riley laughs to herself and then turns off the car, climbing out and opening her daughter’s door, preparing herself for Ellie to jump out and dart toward the house.
True to form, Ellie is already out of her booster seat and as soon as the door is open, the little girl jumps down out of the car and then starts running toward the grass. Her backpack falls to the grass as she runs across it
“Ellie!” Cassie shouts from her seat, immediately jumping up to run toward her big sister. The same way that Ellie loves to dote on her siblings, Cassie pretty much worships the ground that Ellie walks on, always wanting to be around her.
Smiling at the sweet sight of Cassie clinging to Ellie, Riley walks over to her husband and leans down to kiss his cheek. “Hi. I see Wyatt’s awake,” she says, running a hand over the baby’s back and smiling when his eyes drift over to her.
“Yeah. He woke up a little bit ago and your mom brought Cass back right around the same time. And it’s such a nice day that I thought we’d spend a little time outside while we waited for you and Ellie.”
“You know, I think relaxing outside for a while sounds pretty perfect. But I’m gonna need some snuggles from my baby boy first.” She easily picks Wyatt up off of Mac’s chest and holds the baby against her chest, bouncing him gently and dropping a kiss to the top of his head. She looks down when there’s some light tugging on her jeans, laughing quietly when she sees the eagerness on her eldest daughter’s face. “Yes, Ellie?”
Ellie bounces on her feet. “Mommy. I wanna say hi to Wyatt. I missed him so much.”
Riley squats at her daughter’s request, shifting the baby in her arms so that Ellie can get a better look at him.
Ellie grins as she stands on her toes and kisses the top of Wyatt’s head. “Hi, baby brother. I missed you so so much. I hafta go back tomorrow too, but I super promise I’ll come home again, okay? Imma always gonna come home.”
Riley smiles at the sweet sight, her smile turning amused when her eyes drift up to see the deep frown on Mac’s face. Looking back down at her eldest, Riley lowers her voice, “Hey, Ellie? I think daddy might be feeling a little left out since you haven’t said hi to him yet. He really missed you while you were at school.”
Ellie looks at her, looks over her shoulder at Mac, then back at her. She smiles and nods once. “Okay, mommy.”
Riley stands back up, holding Wyatt close again, and watches as Ellie skips over to Mac’s chair and then climbs up into his lap. She sits on her knees and then leans forward to hug Mac around the neck and kiss his cheek.
“I missed you, daddy.”
Mac grins, hugging Ellie tightly and kissing her hair. “I missed you too, baby girl.”
Riley’s heart swells as soon as she hears Ellie’s laugh when Mac starts tickling her sides. Adjusting her hold just a little on her son, she crosses over to where her other daughter is sitting in her lawn chair again and sits down next to her on the grass, setting Wyatt against her propped up knees. “Did you have a fun day with Nana and Grandpa Jack?” she asks the one-year-old.
Cassie just smiles and nods, grabbing one of the Cheerio pieces out of her bowl and holding it out. “Here, mama.”
Riley smiles, leaning forward to eat the cereal. “Thanks, baby. That was very tasty.”
Cassie just continues to smile as she eats the rest of her cereal piece by piece, mumbling to herself as she does.
Riley shifts her attention to her youngest, watching as his eyes flit over everything in his line of sight before settling on her. Her heart swells yet again when he smiles that sweet baby smile at her, just like it did the first time. She never gets tired of seeing her babies smile at her.
“Mommy! I hafta ask you somethin’.”
Riley turns her head toward her eldest, Ellie standing on Mac’s chair and leaning against him. “Okay. What do you have to ask me?”
“Can I stay home with daddy tomorrow so he doesn’t get so lonely and sad?”
Riley shifts her eyes to her husband, taking in the look of innocence he’s trying to pass off. She simply quirks a brow. “Seriously?”
He shrugs. “What?”
“I know you put her up to this.” She looks at her daughter again and smiles softly. “No, baby, you can’t stay home tomorrow for daddy. Because daddy suddenly has a ton of chores to do around the house that’s going to keep him super busy.” She fights back a laugh at the noise of protest that escapes Mac. “So you’re going to school tomorrow. End of discussion.”
Riley shifts in her spot, focusing all of her attention on her infant son. She leans forward some, laughing a little when he grabs onto loose pieces of her hair that are hanging down. She presses a small kiss to his nose. “I already know daddy’s going to be a pain everyday while Ellie’s gone.” She sighs heavily. “This is going to be a very long school year.”