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Arizona didn't know why she was there. Well, she knew why. She and Callie had discussed it. She was there for Sofia. Because for Sofia to see her mom get married – married to someone who wasn't her other mom – that had to be confusing. So Arizona was there. She was trying to be happy, holding Sofia's hand in the front row. It just felt so wrong.
She was at Callie's wedding. And Callie wasn't marrying her. Arizona was surprised at how well she was keeping it together, really. Because, inside, she was devastated. Miserable. Heartbroken.
But she was keeping it together for Sofia.
April reached over from Sofia's other side, patting Arizona's leg with a tight smile. She could tell how Arizona felt, apparently.
Well, Arizona had warned her. She made April promise to keep her in check, to force Arizona down if necessary. Arizona didn't think it would be an issue, but she needed that reassurance.
She couldn't ruin this for Callie. She'd dreamed of her big church wedding forever, and it was finally here.
And Arizona wished more than anything that she could be the one giving it to Callie. But Callie needed to be free. Arizona had to set her free.
Things felt like they were happening in slow motion, distorted under the sound of Arizona's own heartbeat pounding in her ears. It was deafeningly loud. She could feel herself sweating.
Apparently, things weren't just happening in slow motion for her, because people started murmuring. Speculating.
Penny had walked down the aisle. And then… nothing.
Arizona was on her feet before she could comprehend the implications.
She walked down the aisle, avoiding everyone's stares, fidgeting with the hem of her floral dress. It felt like it was well over 100 degrees in that stupid church.
Arizona hated churches. They made her feel guilty. Uncomfortable. Was there a word for a church-phobia? Or at the very least, a church-aversion?
The aisle felt impossibly long, but Arizona couldn't stop walking. She needed to find Callie.
She eventually found Callie standing in the foyer alone, pacing.
Nobody had walked Penny down the aisle. Her parents were present, but, for whatever reason, she and presumably Callie were supposed to walk down the aisle alone.
Carlos sat alone down the row from Arizona and Sofia. Surprisingly not shooting Arizona the death glares she expected. The whole cheating on his daughter thing made relatively plausible that he'd stop drawing the line at throwing women against walls at the sight of Arizona. She half expected to be in a chokehold already.
Maybe it was because Sofia hadn't left her side? Abuelo would definitely avoid traumatizing her like that. Not on a day that was so confusing.
And, apparently, not only for Sofia.
God, Callie looked breathtaking. She opted for a more simple silk gown with a low back, showing her perfectly sculpted back and shoulders. Callie's hair was up with two tendrils perfectly framing her face. It made Arizona's heart stop as she turned toward Arizona.
And then Callie looked at her, and she saw the uncertainty in Callie's eyes.
"Are you okay?" Arizona asked.
She knew the answer. She knew it the moment Callie didn't waltz down the aisle on cue.
"I'm getting married," Callie said, almost to herself. "Penny is waiting for me."
"That doesn't answer my question," Arizona said softly.
"I'm getting married," Callie repeated, like a mantra she didn't really believe. And then, she took off down the aisle.
Arizona snuck across the side back to her seat such as not to disrupt the ceremony. Not that she didn't want to. She had the urge to stand on her chair and scream out that she loved Callie for all to hear.
But she couldn't. She needed to be a good man in a storm. For Sofia. For Callie. For herself.
Arizona tried to tune out the ceremony. She started counting in her head, praying it would be over soon. It was the only moment anyone would ever find Arizona in a church praying. Well, aside from that time in the hospital chapel after the car crash, but her memories of those days were a blur.
Weirdly, Arizona really missed Mark. She felt like if he hadn't died, things wouldn't be like this. But, then again, if he were alive Arizona would still have two legs and the events leading to her marriage's demise wouldn't have happened. Or they'd have happened differently. But Arizona couldn't torture herself with what if's. She'd done enough of that already.
Speaking of torture, sitting through this wedding was complete and utter torture.
She was watching the woman she loved – her once wife – marry someone else.
And it was an unimaginable pain. But Arizona was strong. And she knew that if she loved Callie as much as she was certain she did, she'd do the right thing and let Callie go. She'd set Callie free.
Because to love someone means to put their happiness before your own.
But, when the priest turned and spoke to the guests, something inside Arizona shifted.
Because Callie didn't look happy. She was smiling, but her eyes told Arizona everything she needed to know. They looked devastated. Miserable. Heartbroken.
Or was it wishful thinking? Was Arizona so desperate for Callie's love that her reality was distorted? Did everyone else see that, too?
But did anyone else know how to read Callie well enough to notice, was the true question. Anyone beside Arizona. Callie's fake smiles were convincing. She'd had practice.
Arizona tried to meet Callie's gaze, but Callie wouldn't look at Arizona. Her gaze just flit past.
"And you, Calliope and Penelope's closest friends and family," the priest said, encouraging the brides to fully face the audience., "are here today to bear witness to their union. Will you promise to love and support their marriage in all the days to come? If so, please respond 'we will'."
Everyone said it, but Arizona couldn't even open her mouth. She couldn't promise that. Not when all signs pointed to Callie not being fully in it. Her heart wasn't in it.
Or was that just Arizona's lonely lovesick brain talking to her again?
"Now," the priest continued as Callie and Penny turned back to face each other.
Arizona leaned toward April. She made April promise to keep her from doing something catastrophically stupid, but April would have to break that promise. Arizona needed to do this. It wasn't even a choice, it was a fact.
"I, uh," Arizona began.
"I've known the two of you…" The priest continued.
"I'm sorry," Arizona whispered to April. Because she asked April to make her a promise and now Arizona was making her break it.
"And I'm happy to be here today to be able to do this for you," the priest said.
Arizona sprung to her feet. She opened her mouth. She tried to get the words out, but as quickly as the will came, it left. "I…"
Arizona quickly sat back down, embarrassed.
Penny shot her a glare.
Arizona deserved it.
The priest continued with an awkward chuckle. "Callie and Penny, I have known you for quite some time, and I'm happy to be here today…"
Arizona couldn't do that to Callie. She couldn't burden Callie with her feelings. Callie just wanted to be free, and it was the least that Arizona could give Callie.
Loving someone means setting them free, doesn't it? Wasn't that the saying?
But was Arizona freeing Callie by letting her marry Penny without knowing how Arizona still felt? Did she know how Arizona still felt?
Callie had to know that she was epic for Arizona. That she was Arizona's great love story. That Arizona's heart still beat, and always would beat, for Calliope Torres. That it never occurred to Arizona that either of them would be with anybody else, because Callie was perfect. She was everything. She turned Arizona's world.
But Arizona hadn't told Callie that. Not since she walked out in couple's therapy four years ago. How could she burden Callie further? Callie asked Arizona to set her free. Arizona couldn't tie Callie down with the weight of her feelings. Not again, anyway. Because Arizona loved Callie enough to let her go.
But did Callie know that? Was not telling Callie really setting her free? Or did setting Callie free mean that Callie could make the choice to marry Penny, knowing all the facts?
Out of nowhere, Arizona had an epiphany. In a church. It was an insane, surreal moment, but Arizona suddenly knew.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours. If they don't, they never were.
Letting Callie move forward not knowing how Arizona felt wasn't freedom. Arizona was, yet again, limiting her options. Because Callie didn't know that Arizona was still an option. A very willing, eager option. Callie didn't know she could come back. That Arizona would, after everything, welcome her back with open arms. That she'd always take Callie back.
Setting Callie free meant telling her the truth and letting her make the choice. It meant telling Callie that Arizona wanted her to stay, but letting her go anyway. And to stay or to go, that was Callie's choice to make. Arizona just couldn't hold it against Callie.
So Arizona stood again, walking out into the aisle. She needed to set Callie free. For real this time. She needed to tell Callie that the choice was hers, and to let Callie make that choice with all the facts.
"I love you, Calliope," Arizona said, voice shaking. "I always have. Since the night I kissed you in the bathroom at Joe's. I–I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me." Arizona said.
She could feel everyone staring. She could see shock and tears in Callie's eyes.
"You asked me to set you free, and I want to do that. But I can't let you make this choice without all the facts." Arizona explained. "And the fact is that I love you, and I always have. I always will. You're my whole life. And now you have a choice to make. Stay or go. And I won't hold either decision against you. Because I'm setting you free." Arizona tilted her head, finally meeting Callie's gaze. And that look, yet again, told her what she needed to know. The smile she was holding back was clear in her eyes. "But I think that you love me, too. Do you?"
A moment passed in silence, before Callie spoke softly. "I do."
It wasn't the I do anyone had been expecting, but it was the most wonderful sound in the world to Arizona.
And before she knew it, she and Callie were running down the aisle and out the door, hand-in-hand, to Arizona's car.
They took their seats and paused for a moment.
Had Arizona just ruined Callie's life? Was this the biggest mistake she'd ever made?
She needed to know what Callie was thinking. All she could hear was Callie breathing heavily beside her. She didn't even look at Arizona. She just stared ahead, chest rising and falling.
"Calliope. Do you– do you not want to do this?" Arizona asked.
Callie's response was to turn to meet Arizona's gaze, pulling her in for a kiss. The first kiss they'd shared in four years. It felt like something entirely new but it also felt like coming home. It felt like everything had changed and nothing had changed. It felt like their past and their present and their future all colliding. It felt like a supernova, but it also felt like the first star in an evening sky, flickering steadily. It was terrifying and thrilling but also the most comfort Arizona had felt in four years.
It had Arizona's whole body buzzing. It felt like a paradox. Like it shouldn't have made any sense but at the same time it made the most sense of anything Arizona had ever experienced.
"What about Sofia?" Arizona asked. Sofia had to be confused.
"Drive the car," Callie said, settling a hand on Arizona's thigh. "I'll call Kepner."
XXX
Arizona didn't know how to explain any of this to Sofia. She didn't know where to even begin. Thankfully, Callie did. It was just like Callie said years ago. Whatever Arizona couldn't do, Callie would. Callie was there now and that's how it worked.
"You remember when you started hating bananas out of nowhere?" Callie asked Sofia.
"Yeah, I ate too many and I got tired of them." Sofia replied. "I like them again now, though."
"Well, Mommy and I were together for so long. Through a lot of hard stuff. And, like you and the bananas, we needed some time apart." Callie explained to the best of her abilities. "But Mommy is my banana. And I'll always love bananas, even if I need a break sometimes. To remember how much I love bananas."
Somehow, while Arizona furrowed her brow trying to make sense of the analogy, it made all the sense in the world to Sofia. "I love bananas, too. Does this mean you and Penny aren't getting married?"
"No, baby," Callie said. "Penny is like …an orange. I like oranges but I can't spend forever only eating oranges. And I'm a banana person. I just forgot for a while."
"Oranges are good but they're not as good as bananas." Sofia replied. Her voice went soft. "Are you and Mommy going to get tired of me? Like a banana?"
"Never," Arizona chimed in. "You're our ice cream. Nobody can ever get tired of ice cream."
"I never get tired of ice cream." Sofia said.
"Well, Sof, you go enjoy some time with Abuelo. We'll see you soon," Callie said.
"Will you call before bed?" Sofia asked. "Both of you? To put me in?"
"We'll call at 8:30 sharp. That way Abuelo doesn't keep you up past your bedtime again." Arizona responded.
"I love you Mommy and Momma. I'm happy you like bananas again." Sofia said.
"Us, too, Sof. We love you." Callie responded, hanging up the phone.
XXX
They'd been driving for almost three hours when Callie suddenly spoke, panic in her voice. "Arizona, pull over," she insisted.
"What is it?" Arizona asked.
Callie seemed more panicked with each second. "Arizona, just pull over the car! Now!"
"Relax," Arizona said softly, but dutifully complied. She sighed. "Just calm down."
"Calm down?" Callie yelled. "What are we doing? Is–is there a plan?"
"Is– there's no plan," Arizona replied, getting upset, too. The enormity of what had transpired was setting in for both of them. "Do you think I would plan to ruin your wedding?" Arizona asked.
"No! No. That doesn't seem like you," Callie said, letting out a shaky breath.
"All right, Calliope, look," Arizona said, voice soft.
"I can't." Callie said, unbuckling her seat belt. "I'm sorry. We can't do this. I can't." She walked out of the car, slamming the door behind her.
Arizona quickly got out after Callie, yelling "Callie, get back in the car! You can't just walk back!"
"Why?" Callie continued walking away.
"Bears?" Arizona replied, gesturing to the woods around them.
Callie spun around. "Penny doesn't deserve this. And–and our friends. What are we supposed to say to them? My-my dad? Your parents?" She yelled.
"Oh, my god. The Colonel." Arizona's face went pale. She brought her hand up to her forehead, taking a deep breath. That was not going to be a fun conversation.
"How do we explain that we destroyed some perfectly lovely people so that we could… what, date?" Callie asked, gesturing wildly.
"Okay, the best solution is to never speak to any of them again." Arizona reasoned. It just popped into her head. She knew it was a stupid suggestion the minute it passed her lips, but she was floundering. Callie needed to get back in the car. She couldn't stand on a dark road in the middle of the woods in a wedding dress.
"Or?" Callie asked, not entertaining what Arizona just said.
Arizona said the second thing that popped into her head. "Or we get married. I–"
"Because that's easier to explain." Callie replied.
"No." Arizona said, things suddenly making sense. She walked toward Callie. She spoke with certainty. "No. Because, you're right, all right? I don't want to just date. We already did that. Calliope, I want the whole damn thing. I want to get married. Legally this time. We can get to Lake Tahoe in 13 hours."
"How do you know that?" Callie asked.
"Do you want to get into that right now?" Arizona replied.
"No." Callie said.
"No, you don't want to get into that, or no, you don't want to get married?" Arizona asked. Her heart was pounding.
"Yes. Yes!" Callie said, running toward Arizona, a huge grin on her face. She planted a kiss on Arizona's lips before they made their way back to the car.
"Are you sure about this?" Arizona asked as she started the car again. "I don't want you to do this because you feel guilty or–or obligated or something."
"Arizona," Callie said, resting a hand on Arizona's cheek. "Nothing makes sense anymore. It hasn't for the past four years. It's like everyone has been speaking to me in a language I don't understand and I'm just trying to get by. And, for the first time in four years, something made sense. You made sense. Because I need you. It's you. You and Sofia are the only things I will ever need. So let's get married."
Later that night, they sent everyone a text. All their friends, all the wedding guests, even Arizona's parents.
It was a picture of their hands displaying two plain gold bands. It was the best they could do on such short notice. They'd replace them later. It read:
Introducing Dr. And Dr. Robbins-Torres. Legally, this time.