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Loki never cared about simple pleasures of life. Once he decided he was a ruthless villain, there was no place for any sweetness in his world, only dark bitterness. He sought comfort in planning a dreadful revenge on his relatives, not in food.
So was that evening when Thor and his awful Midgardian exchanged rings. The whole Asgard celebrated their union, along with all the guests from Midgard. Loki sulked in a corner, muttering curses, that idiotic Captain tried to engage him in a ridiculous small talk, how insulting. The worst part of it was that Frigga forced him to behave and not to ruin Thor's special day, Loki couldn't throw a tantrum or go to his chambers. Yet another reason to hate everything.
'Hey, Reindeer Games,' an annoyingly cheerful voice said. Loki gritted his teeth, helplessly angry. Of course, the Iron Man had to taunt him. 'Having fun?'
'Go away,' Loki snapped and didn't even bother looking up at Stark. He hated his stupid grin and his ugly face and well, his entire body. Hated, so much.
'Ok but only when you try this,' Stark invaded Loki's personal space and boldly pushed a piece of chocolate between his lips. The shock caused Loki to spit out and jerk away from the cheeky inventor. Too late, the lingering taste of chocolate stunned Loki, he forgot how comforting sweets can be. Despite his understandable fury, a part of him melted, overwhelmed by delight. Stark smirked and strutted away, humming happily.
The next time they met Loki was imprisoned by the SHIELD, not the first time, not the last. While Thor negotiated his release, a wild Tony Stark appeared. There was no reason for his presence there but would that stop Stark? Without a word of explanation, he took advantage of the fact that Loki was cuffed and fed him a hazelnut praline.
'Good?' He asked smugly, while Loki chewed, defeated. The truth was he was hungry and once the chocolate began to melt on his tongue, he was lost. 'Wanna try a caramel one?'
'Shtark, no,' Loki pleaded with his mouth full. He had no idea how caramel tastes like and when Stark gave him an opportunity to discover that, Loki was not pleased. No, he did not like caramel.
'Ok, I'll remember that, no caramel,' Stark promised and casually left with the rest of the pralines.
Thoroughly exasperated by Stark's outrageous behaviour, Loki decided to pay him a visit and scare him a bit. The god became even more irritated when he caught Stark in the kitchen that smelled like sweets and cocoa and milk. Too warm, too cosy, it only fuelled Loki's rage, he would not let Stark manipulate him, no, he was a strong warrior, perfectly able of resisting a temptation.
Stark didn't even stop stirring the contents of a saucepan. 'Right on time, Lokes. It's ready,' he informed gleefully and poured a brownish liquid into a mug and handed that to Loki. 'Drink,' he ordered.
Against his will, Loki accepted the offering, he could warm up before the fight. One tiny sip and Loki understood he made a grave mistake. The taste was wonderfully rich, it resembled chocolate but served as a warm drink it was much better. Loki drank greedily, his body relaxed, evil plans forgotten.
'What is this sorcery?' He asked in a vain attempt to sound cross.
'Liquid happiness. Some call it hot cocoa,' Stark replied and refilled Loki's mug. 'I need your feedback on this.'
That magic potion had the strangest soothing properties. Loki couldn't remember why he despised himself and the whole universe. All of a sudden he wished he had a pair of fluffy socks and a soft blanket, so he could snuggle up with Stark and stop over thinking everything. What a terrifying vision!
Loki returned to Asgard and kept daydreaming about a river of hot cocoa. No, he told himself harshly, he would only drink bitter herbal infusions, no more sweets! He needed to stay focused, cocoa only clouded his mind and he just had to be bitter and cold. But then Thor brought Stark to Asgard and Loki's strong will weakened dramatically. The anticipation of a sweet treat was killing Loki, what would it be this time, he wondered, perhaps a cake? As soon as Thor left them alone, Loki was introduced to the goodness of marshmallows. He chewed and chewed, while Tony muttered under his breath, 'Yeah, you like that.'
That had to stop, Loki thought as he salivated at the thought of bumping into Stark again. It was ridiculous, that game Tony was playing. Did he try to tame Loki, confuse him or distract him? Or was that a seduction technique? Tony's comments when Loki was devouring sweets would suggest the latter, Loki remembered how intense their last session was- Tony gave him a rainbow lollipop. Loki lied to himself, only one more lick but he couldn't stop, while Stark watched him, mesmerised. No, Loki would not let that weird manipulation continue, he had to end it.
He found Stark in the workshop, good, that was not the place where the cunning mortal could prepare cinnamon toasts or sinfully thick hot chocolate.
'Stark, I have just brushed my teeth, so do not give me anything sweet!' Loki announced loudly, hoping he didn't sound too defensive. No more jellies, cupcakes, even those innocent fruit smoothies, no, Loki wouldn't let Stark have that power over him.
'Wewax, Wokes,' Tony chuckled, sucking on a candy. Loki gulped, he recognised the smell, it was a coffee-flavoured hard candy, dangerously delicious.
'Stop feeding me sweets! I don't know what this is all about and I don't care, just-' Loki barely remember what he wanted to say, Stark distracted him by chewing the candy. What a waste, those wonderful little things were supposed to be sucked on slowly to prolong the pleasure, didn't Stark know?
'I have more, if you want,' Tony pointed to a brown bag with a screwdriver. Loki shook his head violently, no, no, he had to stay strong.
'I will not have sex with you!' Loki exclaimed in panic. He could swear the candy bag moved closer to him, luring him. Better to say what he had to say quickly and run away.
Tony looked at him surprised, 'Ok? Just for the record, I never tried to get into your pants but fine.'
'What? This whole chocolate-and-inappropriate-comments thing, you did that to seduce me!'
'You have no proof of that,' Tony pointed out, smirking. 'I might just enjoy feeding people, you'll never know.'
'Fine!' Loki screeched and without much thinking, moved closer to Stark and kissed him for a split of a second. 'See? I'm more courageous than you! Hah! I didn't have to bribe you!'
Stark didn't accept his defeat, that was predictable. Candies fell out of the bag and on the floor when Tony finally stopped pretending and grabbed a speechless Loki, pressing him against the table. The kiss that followed was hard and deep, yet also sweet, tasted like coffee.
'Hmm,' Loki hummed and licked his lips. He was still trapped between Stark and the table and made no move to release himself. 'All right, we might share a kiss from time to time but I won't change my mind about sweets. I have to stay slim, that matches my wrecked expression and I look good in leather.'
'Ok,' Stark agreed, stroking Loki's hip lazily. 'However, I'm just going to say I have chocolate sauce and whipped cream in my bedroom, you know, just in case.'
'Noo,' Loki groaned, imagining chocolate-flavoured whipped cream. It was too tempting and the longer he stayed there, the less convinced he was that sugary treats were bad for him.
'Also, there's an easy way to burn calories,' Tony continued, mouthing at Loki's neck. 'Quite conveniently, the activities I have in mind are traditionally done in bedroom. And don't get me started on flavoured, sweet lubes. Any flavour you can imagine, vanilla, chocolate, apple pie, toffee, marzipan...'
'Marzipan?' Loki echoed, wondering when exactly he raised his arms and wrapped them around Stark. Another kiss, less frantic and longer, convinced him to follow Stark to the bedroom. Just to see if the sauce and cream were really there, just that, he would not eat anything, neither literally nor figuratively. Being covered in fluffy whipped cream and eaten, though, that was a completely different thing. Sweet and sticky.