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His last race in Spa shouldn't have ended up like this.
Strolling around the pit lane under the rain, Kimi pushed his hands deeper into his raincoat's pockets and looked on.
The skies were loaded with rain and the radar told the same. The red lights on the start-finish straight were all on and the race was red flagged for god knew how long more. Everyone was busy, but no one was in a hurry.
Kimi didn't like rainy days. Not just because he couldn't race or because he was apprehensive of the risk of accidents, but the bleak and wet wait and the uncertainty of the situation was tiring.
He exhaled in boredom, watching his breath making a faint puff as it disappeared. He loved racing in Spa no matter how shitty his car was. So, he hated their Sunday turning into this charade, but it seemed inevitable. All that was left now was to wait and kill time until Masi would finally accept it, too.
He wanted to race. But the rain was pouring harder and harder by the minute as if mocking them and he was a man of action rather than words. So, loitering around aimlessly and doing nothing had never been his thing even though people had always labelled him as lazy. No, he had never been lazy about the things he loved doing. And thankfully, he contained his irritation quite well.
All these years of experience in patience was finally paying off at the last stage of his career, which was both ironic and amusing in a strange way that only he himself could see the mirth in it.
He didn't care. But apparently, someone else cared more.
As he was going past the Redbull garage, his eyes got caught by a TV screen that showed Sebastian. He stopped to watch the younger man leaning against a wall and watching the pit lane proceedings, his frown in place and his body language screaming of his agitation and exasperation. He almost looked wistful and forlorn.
Mark kept close to him, holding an umbrella above their head. "That's Haas' garage." He voiced what Kimi had just realized.
Kimi smiled under his mask knowingly. "Must have gone there for Mick."
"Shall we go, too? Maybe they are upto some fun." Mark offered, guessing how Antti would definitely find them some sort of amusement to keep them all occupied.
Kimi gave it a thought, then shook his head. "Let them have their fun in peace, no need to draw the attention of the media."
Possibly having expected this answer, Mark nodded.
"If his boredom isn't cured even then, he'll eventually find me." Kimi reasoned, still watching Sebastian on the screen.
The heavens rumbled again just then and the raindrops got even bigger.
"Any colder weather than this and it would turn into hailing…" Mark pointed out. "Let's go back."
Kimi didn't want to walk to the end of the pit lane. The unoccupied side of the Redbull garage seemed more welcoming. "Let's get in here until someone kicks us out." He just wanted to sit a bit.
Mark closed the umbrella he had been holding and got under the roof, but kept an eye on everything while Kimi sat there and watched the broadcast showing the garages and the pit lane action. At one point, he saw himself on the screen, too, but he simply ignored it.
Mark kept him updated about what the race director was doing, but since nobody actually knew what was happening or was about to happen, it was all a futile effort really. Because the only certain thing was the rain persisting.
What an anticlimactic way to end the weekend… But maybe this was for the better as they had all seen what had happened in the other series and the resulting controversy. And how angry Sebastian had been…
He sighed and checked his phone. Time seemed to be not moving. It almost felt like they were all trapped in a wet limbo and people at home before their TVs were the witness of their groundhog day.
"You have been sitting here for too long."
Ah… There he was… Finally…
Kimi looked up at his intruder and raised an eyebrow at him as if what he had been doing was the most natural thing to do under these conditions. "Well, there is nothing else to do for us, is there?" He questioned, almost with a tone one would use for explaining the obvious to a child.
"And this is a part of the RedBull garage."
Kimi shrugged. "I was walking around, but then the rain got heavier and I couldn't be arsed to walk back."
The man in green standing before him eyed his nonchalant attitude for a second and when Kimi kept the eye contact but didn't move a muscle, he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "Aren't you even a bit fidgety? They still can't decide on what kind of a shit show they're going to pull out of their asses, running the clock and then stopping it…"
Blinking at the other man, Kimi made a noncommittal gesture again and tilted his head. "Exactly because of this, Seb… We can't do anything but wait." He gestured for the younger man to sit down with him, playing down how pleased he was to see Sebastian getting in and out of everywhere like a bored yet curious cat who always returned back to his human in the end. "Come on, rest a little…" He offered, gently patting the chair next to his. But Sebastian shrugged, too.
"I don't want to sit. I have been sitting for too long." Sebastian's gaze skidded across this small part of the garage and took in the quiet work of the mechanics as they tried to keep everything at the ready and on standby. His garage was an almost identical scene and he was getting antsy watching the fruitless proceedings.
Kimi took a deep breath, too, and stood up, getting the message. When things were like this, Sebastian needed to get a bit away from the hustle of it all. He never betrayed it, but the younger man had been a bit high strung since the Quali session yesterday and Kimi didn't want to irritate him further.
He turned to Mark and told him to return to their side of the paddock.
Mark was quick to catch on with Kimi's intentions and nodded, shaking his phone at him as he left. "Keep an eye on this, though." He reminded and got back into the rain with his umbrella.
Alone now, Kimi focused his whole attention on Sebastian. "Did you eat something?" He gently touched the younger man's arm to steer him away to where the cameras wouldn't be able to film them.
Sebastian nodded, but even so, he let Kimi take him deeper into the garage where they made their way into the hospitality area and eventually into the kitchen.
Surprisingly enough, even though the interiors were teeming with the Redbull personnel, nobody paid them any mind when Kimi went and found the coffee machine as if he had put it there himself. Following and watching him getting around in another team's hospitality motorhome so easily distracted Sebastian from his stormy feelings somewhat.
Under the rain and inaction, most team personnel were much more lenient towards unexpected guests from the other teams. Some were openly welcoming. He even waved at a few people he knew and chuckled when someone commented about how they were going to charge Aston Martin and Alfa Romeo for the coffee Kimi was making for the two of them.
"Some milk of course..." Kimi murmured as if in question, but didn't wait for an answer as he already knew how Sebastian preferred his coffee and added just a dash of chocolate syrup before pouring a generous amount of milk foam over his double espresso. He took his coffee plain black.
Handing Sebastian his share, he inclined his head towards a backyard exit and left the hospitality area, certain that Sebastian would follow him without any question. And Sebastian certainly did follow him.
Outside, the roof of the building created a shade large enough for people to huddle together to take cover from the elements. This side of the paddock saw the trailers and the motorhomes, so a limited amount of people could get there and currently there was no one around.
Sebastian watched Kimi close the door and take a few steps to the side so that they could be both dry and away from the window panes.
With amused eyes, Kimi took off his mask with one hand and reached for Sebastian's ear to take off the mask loop, too. "Relax, Sebby." He gently cooed at the other man until the downturned mouth that his mask revealed took a more neutral expression. "Drink." He nodded at the steaming cup in his hand.
For a moment, Sebastian seemed to be on the verge of saying something, but he decided against it when Kimi raised an eyebrow in a threatening and amused way that only he could pull off. He took a large sip, his gaze on Kimi's doting and attentive eyes.
"Nice?" Kimi asked, liking the foam of his espresso. He hoped Sebastian liked his share, too.
Nodding, Sebastian took another long draught from his sweet and milky beverage and exhaled hugely, his warm breath dissipating in the cold air around them.
They both leaned on one shoulder against the hospitality building's cold wall, facing each other. The rain continued pouring and the sole sound was the pitter patter of the fat drops around them, the noise of the machinery in the garages were a distant reminder of where they actually were.
Kimi was watching Sebastian without averting his eyes from his face even for a second, drinking the sight of his attractively rugged and antsy look like he was drinking his coffee. He had that soft and understanding expression that he reserved only for his people and a small smile was tugging at the corner of his lips.
Sebastian had always taken immense delight from it whenever he was Kimi's sole focus. The lovelorn and gentle eyes of the other man made him feel like the most special person walking on Earth. Kimi always watched him with this reassuring expression and even though he knew the reason for it, he always asked the same question. "What now?" This time, he was the one raising an eyebrow over his cup of coffee.
Kimi shrugged and took a huge sip from his own cup. The strong tang of the beverage rolled on his tongue and his smile grew. "I was thinking how we could have been making love in our motorhome right now instead of standing under the rain like two stray cats." He said in a nonchalant attitude, enjoying the effects of his words. God, he loved how he was always capable of catching the younger man off guard and causing his eyes to go round before they'd narrow down in a sleazy way at the thought of the possibilities.
"Your mind never leaves the gutter, does it?" Sebastian didn't need the answer to that, as Kimi's smirk was telling enough, but Kimi gave him one nevertheless.
"You know in Finland, there's not much you can do other than fishing or fucking… And in winter fishing is bad, so it leaves you with only one option to spend some quality time." Kimi repeated one of his famous quotes and that made Sebastian laugh loudly. Finally he was able to see some genuine mirth in those eyes.
"We are neither in Finland, nor it is winter, dearest." Sebastian pointed out and drank some more.
Kimi didn't care even a bit. "I am home wherever you are and any missed opportunity of making love with you makes me sad." He tilted his head, completely honest with that soft and gentle expression still on his face. The wide eyed wonder and how Sebastian averted his eyes for a second in shy happiness before he looked back at him again was all so dear to Kimi.
"I… I can't rival you in this… Even after all these years, I am really no match to you."
"About what?" Kimi baited, wanting to hear it once more.
"How romantic you are in such a natural and easy way… Such a contrast to the way most people know you."
Kimi shook his head. "Most people know nothing and I don't care. You know how I am and that's enough for me."
Sebastian bit on his lip and smiled, pointing a finger at him. "I meant exactly this…" He chuckled. Then, turned more serious and held Kimi's eyes. "I am so lucky to be the recipient of it." He whispered, his gaze falling on Kimi's lips for a second. After a short beat of silence, he huffed wistfully. "And I would have really liked being in our motorhome instead of enduring this farce… Just laze around in bed… And make love…"
The way Sebastian trailed off and averted his eyes into the distance with a dazed gaze made Kimi reach out to him and plant a soft kiss on his lips as if to placate him for now.
Their lips moved against each other's and came together in a wet but sweet sound for a few heartbeats. As he backed away and looked up at the blue eyes before him, Kimi saw the hunger and the want there, but they had no time to satiate Sebastian's need. "Later…" He promised and caressed his cheek.
Sebastian leaned into his touch and let Kimi scratch at his beard, getting a strange sense of comfort from it. He smiled languidly at the way Kimi's fingers gently traversed across his neck and then through his hair and back to his cheek again. "Makes me sleepy…" His eyes squinted in happiness as he followed the touch and nuzzled it some more.
Kimi continued caressing him and smoothed down his beard and curls as best as he could, making Sebastian's contentment grow.
"I severely need a haircut and get rid of this beard."
Immediately shaking his head, Kimi disagreed. "Not until after Monza."
Sebastian raised an eyebrow and caught Kimi's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing the inner side of his wrist without breaking eye contact. "Why Monza, though?"
Kimi shrugged as if the answer was obvious. "The fluffier the better. And the longer it stays the better." He petted the soft beard one more time and linked his fingers with Sebastian's. "Tickles so nicely when you kiss my neck." His confession brought that sleazy smile of the younger man's back.
"What else feels good when I have this beard on?" Sebastian asked, all too certain of the answer and enjoying Kimi's slight embarrassment at his question.
Kimi gave a little squeeze to their linked hands and averted his eyes with that crooked smile of his. "I won't say it. You damn well know it."
Sebastian hummed in amusement and got closer, minding the still hot coffee cups they were holding. "You have a little stubble going on, too." His voice was almost like a whisper set against the sound of the rain. "Gives me some ideas…"
Kimi groaned even as he smiled and looked back at the mischievous blue eyes. "See, I am not the only one whose mind is always in the gutter." He pointed out and earned a chuckle from the younger man.
"We are two of a kind." Sebastian giggled and leaned in and kissed Kimi on the corner of his mouth, rubbing his lips against the coarse fuzz there. "And you are right, it feels good." He agreed.
Kimi looked back at him, proud to be proved right. "Drink your coffee before it gets cold." He reminded and fell a bit back.
Sebastian complied, taking another huge sip and watched Kimi fiddle with his phone. "No news?"
Kimi shook his head and finished his drink. "Same… Masi is waiting, though I don't know for what, when it is clear we won't be racing anymore today."
Sebastian sighed hugely and finished his drink, too. He took his and Kimi's cup to the nearest bin. When he returned, the frown that Kimi had worked so hard to erase from his face was back there again. "All the audience is wasting their time." He made a disapproving sound, searching his pockets for a new mask. "Hope their money won't be wasted, too."
From the corner of his eye, Kimi saw Sebastian was getting ready to leave even as he continued scrolling through his phone. "They'll think of something…." He reassured again. "And put that mask away, your job is not finished here yet." He smirked knowingly.
His interest caught, Sebastian came closer and tried to see what Kimi was looking for. The other man was scrolling through Spotify playlists and after some deliberation, he must've liked one of them, so he tapped on one and the song started playing.
Kimi listened to the music and increased the volume, his eyes on Sebastian's positively surprised ones. "Like an angel, huh?" He meant the singer's voice and turned around to place his phone onto the nearest flat and dry spot.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian couldn't understand the motive behind Kimi's actions; so, he watched him with disbelief written in his eyes even as he was smiling.
Kimi immediately pulled him in and placed his hands on the younger man. He tugged at him meaningfully. "We are going to dance, of course." He explained as if it was the most natural thing to do in their situation.
Sebastian began laughing softly, though he easily assumed the position and fell into step with Kimi. "I seriously can't believe this." He searched Kimi's mischievous eyes for an explanation, but then reminded himself that Kimi had never needed any rhyme or reason to do whatever he wanted.
"Don't you like the song? I can change it." Kimi offered, but honestly, the song was so sweet.
Sebastian shook his head, still smiling and swaying to the romantic tune. "Not liking Doris Day is impossible." He smirked knowingly. "But you've heard of her just now, haven't you?"
Kimi giggled, unashamed. "I liked the song's name. Got you into dancing with me though, didn't it?" He was so pleased with himself.
Sebastian couldn't help but agree. "I'm confessing that I love you, huh?"
"Yes…" Kimi's amused eyes challenged him. "And what are you going to do about it?"
Sebastian swayed to the music, following Kimi's lead, mischief ever present in his smile. "Ignoring the fact that you had confessed your love to me long long ago, I will kiss you, of course." He leaned in.
Kimi was all too ready. He immediately leaned in, too and shared a few soft and sweet kisses with the younger man.
The lonely parking lot of the motorhomes was a safe bubble around them. The constant sound and the smell of the rain, the faint moisture that clung to them no matter how much they tried to keep themselves dry, the music and the singer's nice voice… All wrapped up to create a little world in which only the two of them existed.
They got closer and Sebastian leaned his forehead against Kimi's one final coffee flavored kiss later and closed his eyes.
Kimi watched him up close, admiring his long eyelashes and the serene little smile he had on. He lovingly shared his body heat and was still swaying to the tune. After a while, he closed his eyes, too, breathing out a silent but deep breath. He nuzzled into the other man's beloved warmth, tightening his hold on his hand and on his waist.
For the duration of the song, they stayed like that, completely surrendering to each other and to the sounds that engulfed them. When the song changed, they barely acknowledged it until Sebastian murmured in a tight voice. "Wish your last race in Spa wasn't like this."
Kimi blinked up at him, still unwilling to get out of their trance like dance. "So do I, but…" He whispered and then cleared his throat, looking back at those inquisitive eyes. "But this is an interesting memory, too." He shrugged, his lips slowly forming a smile. "Not being able to race is boring, but I got this at least." He meant their alone time.
Sebastian's eyes took on that regretful expression again, but Kimi quickly pecked him on the lips with a growing smile. "Rain will stop and winter will come. Then, it will be spring and the sun will turn your skin golden again." He reached a hand to Sebastian's cheek. "But we'll still be like this, even then." He assured.
Sebastian's brows furrowed for a few seconds, his expression getting cloudy. He nuzzled at the hand caressing his cheek and planted a kiss into the palm of it. "We'll be like this." He repeated. "As we have always been."
Kimi nodded, his heart soaring at the certainty he saw in those eyes. "Love you, Sebby." He grinned and rubbed their noses together. "So, no frowning, okay?" He was aware that Sebastian wasn't taking his decision to retire so well, but it was going to be good, he thought. He was going to make it good for both of them.
Sebastian bit on his lip and focused on getting a hold of his negative feelings. Kimi was brave and smiling; so, he needed to try and keep the good feeling going. "I will stop frowning if you give me another kiss." He demanded and Kimi happily obliged.
When they parted again, Sebastian wondered though. "Where did you get the idea from?" He asked, meaning their dance.
Kimi chuckled at the question. "Your team's media person promised to mine a dance under the rain at two pm before your garage. You came, though, to the Redbull garage, but I don't complain." He quirked a mischievous eyebrow and made Sebastian laugh.
"God, if I knew of this rendezvous earlier, I would have come to you sooner." Sebastian took the lead this time and actually started to put some effort into their dance.
"I thought you don't like dancing in the rain." Kimi reminded. "When Daniel made that joke…"
Sebastian's mirth was back. "Daniel needs to ask someone else. But I would dance you to the end of love, dearest." He was so smug with his answer, because he wasn't expecting Kimi to recognize the song.
"Oh this... I've heard of this one." Turning to the phone resting on the windowsill, Kimi was so pleased with himself about his knowledge. "Hey Siri, play dance me to the end of love on Spotify." He commanded, hoping the device would pick up on his voice and do as he'd told.
Again, Sebastian wasn't expecting it, but Kimi's command went through and the Frank Sinatra song started to play. "Wow... That was very sexy of you…" He praised with a naughty expression and Kimi answered in kind with a smirk of his own.
"I can use technology just fine, thank you very much, Mr Vettel-Räikkönen."
At the cheeky reply, Sebastian laughed heartily, pulling Kimi in even closer than before. "But of course, Mr. Räikkönen-Vettel." And he kissed him again while also trying to keep rhythm to the song and failing in a funny way.
They continued enjoying each other's company until Britta and Mark called them almost at the same time. The race director's decision sounded like a joke to them both, but they had to proceed with it no matter how much of a let down it felt like.
At least, they had each other to find some solace after a long soppy day of no action. Sebastian was happy to see that Kimi really had meant it when he said they could have been making love in their motorhome instead of wasting time under the rain. They didn't sleep much that night.
-
After all the farce and the disappointment of the fans and the whole paddock, everyone was packing up to leave for the Italian Grand Prix.
Sorting through the pictures taken that day, Aston Martin's social media admin was also tired and a bit bummed at the inaction, too. But something sweet and amusing made her night way better than she had expected when she was given a printout of a reservation card for a very well known Italian restaurant close to their next stop next week in Monza. It was sent by none other than Kimi Räikkönen and it also contained a one-liner thank you note just as it was the trademark of the Finn driver.
"Though it was not at the designated time and place, I got one of the best dances in the rain."
She could only imagine how good it had to have been as she continued smiling.
-
Fin.