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Souji was listening to Yosuke toss out ideas for their weekend plans, nodding along and thinking of how he'd adjust his schedule to fit it all in, when Yosuke stopped mid-sentence. In the middle of changing his shoes out, Souji glanced over and saw him staring at something on the floor. "What's that?"
"I don't know." It had landed faced down, revealing a cute sticker holding it closed, and when Yosuke flipped it over Souji could see Yosuke's name written boldly across the front. Someone had drawn a heart next to it. "It's a letter."
Souji went still, his shoe hanging loose in one hand. "A confession?"
Yosuke's eyes had gone wide. "Dude, I think so!"
"For real?" Kou came around the lockers, Daisuke trailing behind him. As usual, despite the fact that they didn't have practice, he wore his athletic uniform. Yosuke'd joked more than once that he probably slept in it. "Who's it from?"
"I don't know, there's no name on it."
Automatically, Souji looked around but although there were plenty of students milling about, he didn't spot any girls watching Yosuke for a reaction.
Kou cleared his throat. "You don't think it's from Chie, is it?"
"Why would it be from her?" Yosuke asked, his enthusiasm undimmed.
"No reason," Kou said quickly. "But you two do hang out a lot..."
"Who cares who it's from?" Daisuke asked, scowling at the letter the same way someone else would a piece of trash. "You should toss it, Yosuke, those things are nothing but trouble."
"You can't do that! Although, he does have a point," Kou added reluctantly. "You accept one letter and the next thing you know you've got girls bothering you all the time, wanting to give you whatever they made in home ec."
Yosuke rolled his eyes. "Wow, that sounds awful."
"Hey, it's not as great as it sounds! You have no idea how many of those girls can't cook, and you can't tell them that without coming off like a jerk."
A group of their classmates lingered nearby, boys Souji recognized but had never hung out with, and when one of them pointed to the letter, they all turned for a better look. "Nice one, Yosuke!" one of them called out. "Who's it from?"
Yosuke shoved the letter into his pocket. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"You're gonna hold out on us? That's cold, man!"
"Seriously, let us have a look," another said, and when Yosuke continued to deny them, they left disappointed, a few of them throwing well-wishes over their shoulders.
"Man, you think a guy would be able to get some privacy," Yosuke said, but it was clear he enjoyed the attention more than he wanted to let on. "Come on, let's go outside."
Souji took a step to follow him and stumbled, his balanced thrown off. Flustered, he looked down at his mismatched shoes. "Wait, I haven't finished changing. I'll be right there."
Kou waited until Yosuke was gone before whispering, "You'll tell me if it's from Chie, right?"
"I'm sure it's not," Souji said absently. While he usually sympathized with Kou's crush, he couldn't muster up the proper concern, not when he was still recovering from his shock. People got notes in their lockers every day, of course, but for Yosuke to get one... "They're just friends."
"Okay, if you say so." Kou slapped Souji on the back. "Keep us updated!"
"Not me," Daisuke said as Souji left. "I seriously don’t care."
By the time Souji caught up with him, Yosuke had found a relatively secluded spot away from the people hanging around and was bent over the letter, examining it. To Souji's surprised, he hadn't opened it.
"I'm savoring the moment," he said when Souji mentioned it. "This is a big deal, you know?"
Souji nodded and turned away to give him some privacy, but he couldn’t resist watching him out of the corner of his eye. While Souji had gotten one or two things left in his locker when he did well on a test, Yosuke had never mentioned anything similar. Seeing how happy he looked now, Souji was sure he would have told him about it if it had happened.
He should have felt happier for him.
Finally, Yosuke took a deep breath and opened the envelope. Souji noticed he took care not to tear the sticker. "She wants to meet behind the school," he said, so quickly that Souji wasn't sure he'd even read the entire thing.
Souji felt like someone had tried to trip him. "To confess?"
"Yeah." There didn't seem to be much written but Yosuke read it through at least twice more. "She calls me Hanamura-senpai. That means she's younger than us, right? Hey," he said, suddenly excited, "you think it might be from Rise?"
"I doubt it," Souji said, going through all the first-years he knew. There weren't many and he couldn't recall any of them expressing an interest in Yosuke. "Wouldn't she just tell you in person?"
"Yeah, and anyway, she's all hung up on you," Yosuke said. Souji made a vague sound. While he had no problem with Rise's feelings, he'd never felt completely comfortable discussing them with Yosuke, who obviously liked her. Today, though, Yosuke didn't show any sign of jealously. "At least it's not from Chie," he said, laughing. "I'd recognize her handwriting in a second, her notes are impossible to read. It makes trying to copy them a nightmare."
Unable to quell his curiosity, Souji gave up on feigning disinterest and stared at the note openly. Yosuke noticed and held it out reluctantly. "Want a look?"
Every bit of Souji wanted to take it and try to figure out what sort of girl had written it, but he kept his hands at his sides and shook his head. "I'm sure she only wanted you to read it."
"Alright." Yosuke smiled down at it. Souji couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him so happy. "Her handwriting's slanted. That's cute."
"Cute," Souji echoed. "When does she want to meet?"
"Twenty minutes after classes end."
Souji checked his watch. That wasn't far off. "And you're going?"
He didn't need the look Yosuke gave him to know he'd asked a stupid question. "Of course I am! This is my big chance. What," he asked suddenly, "you wouldn't?"
If he answered that truthfully, it would only cause problems. "I just thought she'd give you more time to get ready."
"How much time do I need? I want to hurry and see who she is. I guess I should make sure I look good, though." Yosuke ran a hand through his hair. "Think I've got enough time to hit up the restroom?"
"You look fine," Souji said, but Yosuke was already moving. After a last glance around the area – had there always been so many girls in their school? – Souji hurried after him.
They'd missed the worst of the after school rush and there were only a few stragglers in the restroom, all of which ignored them in favor of taking care of their own business. Yosuke went straight to a free mirror and started fixing his hair, not that it needed it. Souji lingered behind him aimlessly, aware that he wasn't doing anything useful but unable to think of something to keep him occupied.
Unexpectedly, Yosuke frowned and turned to him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"You sure? Cause you're looking a little weird."
Souji caught sight of his face in the mirror. He hadn't realized he'd been wearing such a strained expression and hurried to correct it, but Yosuke was waiting for a response. "I'm still surprised," he said honestly. "I wasn't expecting this."
Yosuke's frown deepened in annoyance, and Souji knew he'd said the wrong thing again. It couldn't have been more obvious that this meant a lot to Yosuke and just as he never failed to congratulate Souji when a girl flirted with him, he should have been celebrating Yosuke's good luck. Instead, all he could think of was how fast this was happening and how he couldn't do anything about it.
"What's so surprising about it?" Yosuke asked, and one of the boys a few mirrors down glanced over at his tone. "You're not the only one who gets second looks, you know."
"I know that, I've heard girls talk about you," Souji said, and of course he'd given Yosuke more second looks than he could count. "I'm not saying you don't deserve this, but doesn't it seem fast to you? One second we're planning to go to Okina and now you might get a girlfriend. That would change...a lot of things. It wouldn't be the same."
Pacified, Yosuke's tone evened out. "It wouldn't change too much, and it's not like this wasn't going to happen eventually."
"But now? By the end of the day, you could be part of a couple. You'll want to spend all your time with her."
Yosuke tugged on his headphones, clearly unsure of how to respond, and abruptly Souji realized how selfish he was being, unloading on him this way. Yosuke should have been relishing this and enjoying his excitement but instead Souji was making it all about him. "Is that what this is about? You're my best friend, partner. I'm not going to stop hanging out with you because I'm seeing someone."
"Of course not. Don't worry about me, I'm being stupid." Yosuke didn't look convinced. Souji reached over and straightened his collar, forcing some levity into his voice. "You should hurry or she might get tired of waiting."
"Do you think she would?" Yosuke asked, and for the first time this afternoon he sounded nervous.
"No, it was a bad joke. Sorry." Souji smiled to take the sting out of it. "I'll wait for you by the front gate. Text me if you can't make it."
"Okay." Yosuke checked his reflection one last time. "How do I look?"
For all his fussing, his appearance hadn't changed in the least. "Great," Souji said honestly. "All you have to do is be yourself and everything will go fine."
Yosuke smiled, his good mood restored. "Ha, thanks."
People were still exiting out of the front gate when Souji reached it. He didn't spot any of his friends but he could guess where they were – for example, Kanji tended to spy on the sewing club, and Chie enjoyed snacking on the roof – and although he enjoyed their company, he was grateful to have some time alone.
What had he expected? He might have been content to pine away after Yosuke, enjoying his friendship without any real hope of it becoming more, but Yosuke had always been upfront about his desire to experience certain things: visiting the beach in the summer, owning a motorcycle, and most importantly, getting a girlfriend. It'd only been a matter of time before a girl noticed him the way Souji did and acted on it, but he'd envisioned it happening at some distant point in the future, maybe once he returned to the city and wasn't around to see it. He wasn't naïve enough to believe that Yosuke would turn her down, either. Why would he?
So many of the girls who went to their school were attractive. What would the one who met Yosuke look like? Yosuke wasn't picky but his tastes tended towards cute and long-haired, so Souji pictured her the same way. Someone small and delicate, who'd blush and avert her eyes when she admitted her feelings. And for all that Yosuke tried to be cool, Souji could imagine him getting flustered hearing it but then he'd smile the way he did when he was embarrassed and...
He had to stop thinking about it. It was too painful to imagine Yosuke with someone else.
How it happened wasn't the important part anyway. That would be everything after, from how Yosuke introduced them to how Souji acted around her, and he was determined to be as supportive as possible. He might have screwed up earlier but he wouldn't again. Yosuke wouldn't have any reason to believe he wasn't happy for him, and his girlfriend would never suspect that Souji harbored anything except the most platonic feelings towards him. If he had to feel sorry for himself, he'd do it in private.
Satisfied with this decision and eager not to dwell on it any longer, he settled back against the wall. People watching had been a habit he'd developed to keep himself occupied when he was alone, and he indulged in it now as he watched his classmates head out. Some of them were clearly in a hurry to get home but others didn't give off the same impression, and he guessed at what their plans were as he listened to snippets of their conversations.
It wasn't long, however, before he started paying special attention the girls. When one of them came out smiling or laughing, he wondered if she had written the letter, and he looked behind her, expecting to see Yosuke carrying her books or holding her hand. If one of them looked upset, he imagined the confession going wrong and had to look away.
He'd done his best not to worry about the time, but gradually, the flow of students began to lessen and he checked his watch. More than enough time had passed for a confession, even one that hadn't gone well, and he still hadn't heard anything. Had Yosuke gotten caught up in his excitement and forgotten about him?
Unlikely as it was, the idea lodged in his brain, twisting his stomach uncomfortably. The urge to go see what was happening grew, and Souji told himself that it only made sense. After all, distracted or not, Yosuke couldn't expect him to stand around all afternoon, not with Nanako waiting at home, right? One look would be fine, just long enough that he could know whether or not he should go on alone. He didn't plan on spying.
While Souji had never had any reason to go to the school's designated confession spot, and in fact had actively avoided it when he caught rumors that it was being used, he knew how to find it. The closer he got to it, the slower his steps became until he stopped right around the corner of the building. He didn't hear anything but that didn't mean much. If he interrupted them kissing...
No, it wasn't worth worrying about. Bracing himself with one hand against the wall, he leaned forward, ready to dunk back out of sight as soon as he had his answer. It took him a moment to spot Yosuke; he wasn't standing like Souji expected. Instead, he sat on the ground, shoulders slumped and his head down. Souji didn't see anyone else.
Had it gone wrong? Yosuke's posture suggested as much, but how could it have soured so quickly? And what was he supposed to do now? He couldn't stay hidden but leaving and pretending he hadn't seen anything was an equally unattractive option.
Making up his mind, he took a step forward and cleared his throat.
Yosuke glanced at him, startled, and then winced, straightening up. "Oh, hey. You, uh, haven't been there too long, have you?"
"I just got here," Souji said, moving closer. "You were taking so long that I came to check on you." Carefully, he asked, "How did it go?"
Yosuke crumbled the note. "It was a joke."
Souji's heart dropped, and immediately behind the rush of sympathy he felt was a shameful sense of relief that there wouldn't be a girlfriend. "You don't know that," he said, wanting to crush the feeling. "Maybe something came up and she couldn't make it. A teacher could have kept her after class or she could have had a last minute club meeting. I can go look for her."
"No one came, and when you read the first letters of each sentence, it spells out loser." Yosuke held the note out so Souji could see for himself but he didn't take it.
"That could be…" Yosuke looked at him imploringly, and Souji stopped. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault."
That didn't make Souji feel any better. "Do you know who wrote it?"
"I'm sure I'll find out tomorrow when they ask me how long I waited." Yosuke sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "If they ask you, tell them it was only five minutes, okay?"
Souji tightened the grip on his bag and pressed his lips together.
"Don't take it so seriously," Yosuke said. "It was just a joke, but if you go after somebody for it then they'll think it got to me and we'll never hear the end of it. Honestly, I've done crap like this myself, and it could have been worse, someone could have been waiting here to beat me up. I should have known, anyway. It was too perfect, calling me senpai, saying she'd been watching me for weeks... Someone probably got their sister to write it."
Souji knew he should have been saying something comforting but to his frustration nothing came to mind.
"You know," Yosuke said after a pause, staring at the ground, "when she got here, I was gonna turn her down."
Souji couldn't have heard that right. "But you've always wanted a girlfriend."
"Yeah, and I'm not saying it wouldn't be great, holding hands and going on dates—" He faltered but kept going. "—but I started thinking while I was waiting and imagine all the stuff I'd have to hide from her. I couldn't talk about the case, or let her know what I was doing when we go into the TV, hell, I wouldn't even be able explain Teddie properly, and what kind of boyfriend would I be if I kept a bunch of secrets? Maybe after everything is done it'll be different but right now we've got more important stuff to worry about."
"Yosuke..."
"It's better like this," Yosuke said firmly, and Souji didn't argue with him. "Who knows, maybe I still have a chance with Rise. Until then, it looks like you're stuck with me."
Until someone else came along with a serious confession. "Actually..."
"What's up?" Yosuke cracked a smile. "You're not about to tell me you did this, are you?"
"No, of course not. I..." The words were right there but Souji couldn't bring himself to say them. What would be the point of confessing now, on the tail end of this mess? He'd be taking advantage of Yosuke's disappointment, picking the moment most convenient to himself, and if Yosuke didn't feel the same way, wouldn't he simply make him feel worse? "I think you're really great," he said at last. "I just wanted to tell you that before someone did it first."
"Ha." Yosuke's smile softened, becoming more genuine. "Thanks, partner. That means a lot coming from you."
Souji did his best to return his smile but it didn't come easily.
"What are you getting all upset for?" Yosuke asked, standing up and brushing himself off. "It was just a prank. Jeez, you keep this up and I'm gonna start feeling sorry for myself."
But Yosuke already looked miserable, and when Souji reached out to pet his hair, the way he'd been tempted on the floodplain, he didn't shy away from the touch. Instead he rested his head on Souji's shoulder. "Let me stay like this for a while?"
"Sure." Souji rubbed the back of his neck, and it was a testament to how badly he felt that Yosuke didn't warn him they might be seen. He turned his face into Yosuke's hair and closed his eyes. "Take as long as you need."