Work Text:
The thousand lights of the Piffling Traveling Circus glowed warmly across the grounds. Though the game booths were closed with red and gold striped curtains pulled with little notes saying they would be back tomorrow, and the performers had all stumbled into their caravans, Marlene and Antigone walked hand in hand through the quiet circus grounds. Nothing could drive away the scent of stale popcorn and sickly sweet cotton candy, mingling with the odor of greasy machinery and human sweat of all those who worked hard to keep the circus running; and most importantly to appease their ringmistress.
It had been a rather selfish show, the sole audience member being Antigone. Yet it was one of the most spectacular performances she had ever seen. The circus had become a place where she felt as though she belonged, welcomed by all the people so talented and bright.
They soon found themselves upon a carousel. Antigone sat bridal style upon a sole black unicorn, its paint chipped and faded, as the ringmistress fussed over the gearbox. Slamming her fast against the jammed machine, the carousel started with a jerk and Antigone lost her balance for a moment as she clutched the pole jutting out from its mane.
On this cool September evening, the ringmistress joined her on the carousel as it rounded absently. She gazed at her, adoring the way her creepy girl swayed a bit in her black dress. The soft tinny carnival music that emitted from the ancient speakers on the roof crackled to a stop as the carousel creaked to a halt.
The ringmistress got off, kicking the control panel again, but nothing came of it.
Antigone leaned her head against the pole, closing her eyes. The cool, salt-flavored ocean breeze stung her nostrils. She felt Marlene’s hand rub her back, curling around her shoulder, silently beckoning her off the broken contraption.
They approached a solid red tent, its rope loosely tied in a bow keeping the entryway closed. Marlene pulled at the bow and then parted the curtain, bowing as she led Antigone inside. She then kicked a small box near the entry and a light flickered to life, revealing a circle of antique wood amusement cabinets.
Antigone was drawn to one particular violet cabinet that contained an animatronic woman dressed like a stereotypical fortune teller. "Esmeralda" was painted above the glass case in golden calligraphy. She stared at the uncanniness of the animatronic, it's blank brown eyes staring back. The ringmistress tapping her shoulder startled her from her trance. She held up a gold token, Antigone took it and slid it into the coin slot, pressing a button labeled "fortune."
"Esmerelda" came to life with a jerk, her mechanical hands waving absently over a crystal ball that lit up in a fading swirl of colours. Antigone plucked the card that spat out of the front of the machine. One side merely featured a drawing of Esmerelda, the other provided her fortune in fancy red lettering. Her eyes scanned the card, a blush soon seared her cheeks. She shoved the card to the ringmistress's chest.
Marlene smiled as she read the card, it declared that their love would last forever even through all hardships.
It was just a silly game of chance, she reasoned, though truthfully she hoped it was all true. Perhaps Esmerelda knew more than she appeared, or perhaps Marlene had rigged it. The ringmistress handed her back the card, and she ran her finger over the text. She told Marlene of the terrible fête her brother had organized some years back, and her poor attempt at being a fortune teller.
She heard her ask what future she saw for them. In her own mind, Antigone saw the ringmistress. She was looking at her, and in turn she was scowling back, but it was only because her attempts to smile ended up twisting her face into a grimace. There are rings on their left hands, they’re older, they’re deliriously happy together.
She had rambled, not looking at Marlene as she did. Gentle fingers lifted her chin, her tired eyes and gentle smile made Antigone’s lips tremble. She could not ever deny her what she wanted as Marlene leaned to kiss her.
Right behind where Antigone stood was a tall mahogany meter cabinet with a painted panel of fading pink labels, dust-laden lightbulbs on either side of each one. Taking her hand, asking her to indulge her, the ringmistress led her to the love meter machine.
Antigone glared at the machine. All it would do was measure the moisture on the skin surface of her hands by electrically testing the skin conductance and rates accordingly, or maybe the temperature of her skin. Surely if that was the case, Antigone’s perpetually cold hands would ruin the whole thing. She knew Marlene was intelligent enough to know this, but the principal of it all was what bothered her.
She wrapped her hand over the silver joystick. Marlene then wrapped her fingers over hers and the red bulbs moved up the meter until a bell sounded at the top level labeled "uncontrollable."
The ringmistress smirked.
Antigone crossed her arms, a collection of gears and wood should not be telling them how much they loved each other. Yet, a small part of her found these machines rather fun, as if the contraptions confirming her love for the ringmistress held any true power in the universe.
The vibrant candy colors of a trio of claw machines beckoned them. None of the contents seemed to intrigue Antigone while Marlene sidled next to her, slipping a token into the slot. Antigone absently played with the epaulet of the ringmistress's jacket as she moved the claw, its metal fingers grasped something for only a second before it soon slipped out of its clutches.
Marlene sighed, fishing around her pocket for another token. Once she did, Antigone gently took it from her and slid it into the coin slot. She carefully moved the joystick over the plush elephant's head, pressing the release button. The metal claw descended and closed over the top of the toy, pulling it free as it rose up again and moved to drop the prize into the corner receiver. Marlene's jaw dropped slightly, she stared as Antigone bent down and picked up the plush elephant, handing it to her without a word.
She kicked the claw machine as Antigone turned to leave the arcade tent.
In the deep blue of night, a photobooth light glowed. The ringmistress pushed the red curtain aside and entered. Right as Antigone was going to complain about the bench being much too small, Marlene pulled her onto her lap and closed the photo booth curtain.
The ringmistress shoved coins into the slot, selecting two copies of the photos.
Her face red, Antigone buried her face in Marlene's shoulder, her hair obscuring her from the camera. After the first flash the ringmistress pushed her lover’s hair over her shoulder, as she in turn narrowed her eyes. With each flash Antigone moved her head, with the final photo she tried to smile.
The photobooth whirred and spat out two lengths of film. Antigone was merely a shadow slowly revealing herself while Marlene gazed at her, her face moving from concern to a tender smile.
Pushing open the curtain but not moving to leave, Marlene pulled out a package of cigarettes. She shook the paper box and frowned, taking out her last cigarette and lighter, tucking the empty box back into her inner coat pocket. She let Antigone light the cigarette for her, it had become a routine for them.
Arm wrapped around her waist, Marlene held her a bit closer as smoke curled away from her nose out into the night air.
The circus so late at night held an eerie atmosphere. It sat silent and haunting, absent of the cacophonic music and loud cheers that could become so overwhelming. Antigone liked the circus when it was like this. As if it was her own.
She clutched the fortune card and photo strip, as if the light breeze would blow them away. These small moments with Marlene were something she held so dear, as the ringmistress’s tendency to be boisterous were merely part of her job description, her tyranny merely an armor hiding her tender heart.
Antigone found the childhood and joy she never had at the circus, her childlike whimsy towards it reminded the ringmistress of what her job meant. Growing up did not mean you always had to go through the motions of adulthood, you were allowed to have fun. No matter how much Antigone said certain things here and there like balloon animals or love tester machines were stupid or useless, she enjoyed them, they made her feel a sense of genuine joy she never really felt otherwise.
Looking forward to those small moments of happiness; holding Marlene’s hand, sharing a meal with her or even sitting in silence with her made it worth waking up everyday.