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“There has to be a better way of doing this,” Aziraphale said for the third time.
Crowley’s face was not visible, but if it had been, Aziraphale had a feeling that the snake currently dangling from his hands down the kitchen sink drain would have been glaring at him extremely glarefully. “Got any sssuggestions?” the distorted hiss drifted upwards.
“Well,” Aziraphale offered, “I believe there are tools designed for—”
The tail in his hands flailed wildly, and a stream of muffled serpentine cursing followed, cutting Aziraphale off.
“Are you quite all right down there?” Aziraphale called down anxiously.
“Peachy!” Another thrash and accompanying swear word, along with a distant, mildly concerning splashing noise. “Just… ‘s twisty. Keep having to get longer to reach.”
“You’re sure it’s worth all this trouble? It really isn’t such a big—”
“Definitely worth it.” A brief pause. “But, uh. Don’t let go.”
Oh dear. “I wouldn’t dream of it,” Aziraphale assured him, tightening his grip accordingly and tamping down the urge to comment, once again, that there really had to be a better way of doing this. Once Crowley had committed himself to a project — be it modifying the shape of the M25, bullying his houseplants into submission, or his current ridiculous mission — attempting to sway him out of said commitment was a lost cause, and would serve only to distract and prolong the ordeal.
A minute of silence and near-stillness ensued, even more worrisome than the previous flailing and expostulating. Aziraphale bit his lip, focused wholly on holding onto Crowley and preventing his hands from sweating…
Then, finally, a triumphant exclamation from below: “Got it!”
Thank goodness. Aziraphale breathed a sigh of relief. “Ready for me to pull you back up?”
A loud gulping sound, and an affirmative twitch of the tail. “Yep.”
Aziraphale hauled, letting Crowley’s tail curl around his waist as an anchor.
And hauled. And hauled, while the quantity of snake wrapped around his torso grew more and heavier. Crowley hadn’t been kidding about having taken on extra length since having started his descent into the pipes. By the time Crowley’s head finally emerged from the sink, he was much longer and skinnier than any snake with proper proportions should have been.
Thankfully, it was only a few moments before Crowley executed a full-body shiver and came out of it in humanoid form, standing and holding onto Aziraphale’s waist. He let go to pat his suit and grimace.
Leaning over, Aziraphale cleaned and dried the jacket with a breath. Crowley rewarded him with a smile; Aziraphale allowed himself a moment of reminiscence over old times.
Then, he gave Crowley a once-over, and frowned. “Where is it?”
“Um,” said Crowley, and coughed.
“You didn’t leave it down there, did you?”
“No! Of course I didn’t! What do you take me for?” Crowley sounded offended — probably mostly because he recognized that that was an entirely reasonable question. He coughed again, and a third time, covering his mouth as he did so… and then, with one last hack, removed the hand from his face and held it out to Aziraphale with a dramatic flourish.
Aziraphale stared at the damp pinky ring resting in the palm of the demon’s equally damp hand.
Crowley repeated the flourish. “Here you go, angel.”
Aziraphale sighed, smiled, and took the offering, drying it with a blink (rather less intimate than the method of miracle he’d used for Crowley’s coat). “Thank you, my dear. I appreciate the rescue.”
“Lucky I was in the area,” Crowley commented, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Yes, I suppose I am. As per usual.” Aziraphale slid the ring back onto his finger, relishing the comforting sensation of having the metal circlet — and all that it symbolized — back where it belonged. “Shall we go get lunch, then?”
~ ~ ~
They were halfway through their meal at the Ritz when it occurred to Aziraphale that either one of them could have simply miracled the ring out of the drain with a snap of the fingers, at the expense of significantly less time, effort, and dampness.
He didn’t say anything, though. Crowley was far too proud of the success of his heroic retrieval mission for Aziraphale to burst his bubble.