Chapter Text
This isn't a good story.
How do I tell a well-structured story when life is utter chaos?
Everything I've ever known-
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"No matter what you do, the ending will always be the same"
"Not if I stop you"
"Do you think this is your first time here?"
"How many- How many times have you done this?"
"I lost count"
"I don't care what you say, I'll keep on trying to defeat you"
"How pointless..."
"You've been keeping my story interesting (Y/N)"
"I swear I'll stop you"
"So... What do you say? Do you accept my offering?"
"I do..."
"Shake my hand (Y/N)"
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•▀
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"Hello?"
"Oh, thank Prime you're still here"
"Don't believe a word they say"
"This is YOUR story"
[Starting Reset]
"Don't give up"
"W e ' r e s t i l l h e r e"
"YOU can still change it"
[RESET... 20%]
"We still have hope"
[RESET... 40%]
"They can't take that from us"
[RESET... 60%]
"Make your choices"
[RESET... 80%]
"And don't forget"
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"The deal is a l-"
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_____________________________
This isn't a good story.
How do I tell a well-structured story when life is utter chaos?
Everything I've ever known is darkness.
Darkness is like a mirror... It will only show what you don't want to see. Our aversion to darkness is engraved in our eyes... Or at least that's what the books say.
I learned, through books, that everything is not just dull and grey. There are colors everywhere! Even if I can't see them properly. In these books, I read about forests and rivers, animals far beyond my imagination, and a sky, big enough to cover everything like a fluffy blanket.
In a cave, however... We have tunnels, tiny houses that were carved on the walls through the years, small farms with the same old seeds and animals, symbols and traditions scribbled in the walls long lost in time.
It's our "little" civilization. It's far from perfect, but it's the only thing we have.
Many traditions speak of a powerful being, a deity of some sort, that is responsible for the way we live today. Everyone treats them like a God... The one who saved us all from the blinding light. The one that c̶o̶n̶f̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ i̶m̶p̶r̶i̶s̶o̶n̶e̶d̶ gave us a new home and a new beginning. We do not know their name, always referring to them as "Our Lord".
There are also the mines, where we go to get some supplies for our "Lord and Saviour" or whatever. Dad says that if we don't appease them, they will bring the blinding light again and punish us. I think that's bullshit... They need something to control us after all, to control the people. If we don't follow the rules.... they have our heads... Maybe that's why I'm still here-
"(Y/N)!!"
Maybe losing my head isn't such a bad thing... Is it?
My room is just a small cave, nothing more, nothing less. I have a bed, some books stacked on a small desk against the wall, a chest with probably nothing helpful, and a nightstand with a small candle that I don't even know how is still lit.
I've lived here all my life... me, my books, and my stupid mask. I don't understand why, but the moment we are born, they put these masks on us. They say it's to protect our eyes, that we were born with sensitive eyes... Maybe there's some sort of connection with the blinding light, I'm not sure... They don't tell us anything anyway. We already can't see shit down here. Everything is dark!! Why use a mask that only makes your vision worse?
My mask only covers my eyes and nose. It has special lenses that "protect" our vision from... well, everything. I think the mask is supposed to resemble a bird, but I can't really tell. There are no birds down here, after all.
Even though it's stupid, I can't take it off... I'm afraid of what-
"(Y/N), I WILL NOT CALL YOU A THIRD TIME!"
With a sigh, I close the book in my hands. I wasn't even reading it, but by now, I know every word by heart. I stand up from my sheets and carefully pick the small candle in my hands.
┏ ━━┅-━━━┅━━ ┓
Small
Warm
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
With a soft blow, everything turned black.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Can't see
Dark
Hate it
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I only live with my father. My mom died when I was young. It's sad, but it's life. She died from Yellow Disease. That's something that happens often down here...
One day she felt her legs numb and had some difficulty breathing, and just like that, she had a heart attack. It was weird, and no one knows why... Or maybe they do. They just don't want us to know why. Dad says that it's because she deserved it... She was a very.... passionate woman. But she was nothing but an amazing person.
Focusing back on the present, with palms pressed on the wall, I followed the path, cold and full of deformations.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Cold
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
We need to keep going even without our sight, right? So our hands have to do the work our eyes can't. In the absence of sight, our other senses bloomed. Not that I'm an expert at using my other senses... Because I'm not.
I saw some light.
Entering the common space, I saw father on the small couch packing some stuff in his bag.
"Yes, father?"
"For a moment I thought you died." There was no trace of a joke in his speech
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
You wish
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
"I'm heading out to the mines. You will clean the house while I'm out. You also need to go to the market stands and get some supplies. Lady Jane already knows-"
"Can I go with you?" I blurted out, interrupting him
He stopped and faced me. His boar mask looking into my soul with his big snout and droopy ears.
Why did I talk? Why couldn't I stay with my mouth shut?
I looked away, trying to avoid his challenging gaze.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Run
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
My feet didn't stop still, always trying to find a more comfortable position, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. I locked my shaky hands together. Why are my hands shaking so much?
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Miss mom
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
When mom was here our life was more... Happy? Simpler? Something among the lines.
He walked to me with his heavy steps, full of power and confidence... or maybe ignorance.
My feet stopped, I couldn't move. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was afraid to.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
So tall
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
He towered over me, making me feel like a small child near him. My eyes went back to his mask. I can't just ignore him, can I?
"You are a girl. Your job is to do what I say, get married with who I choose, and have children." He fired his words in my direction with annoyance
My breathing came out shaky. He was so close.
I continued to play with my own hands, turning my eyes away from his mask to them, quietly picking on the dead skin of my fingers. I hate this...
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Hate him
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
"Speaking of marriage... I have talked with Lady Halla. Her son has also come to the age of-"
"What? I'm too young to get married! Mom said I didn't have to-" I was so surprised that I forgot who I was talking with
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Oh no
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
His hand moved before I could react, slapping me across the face, his eyes slicing through me.
"You think you have a say in this matter?" His voice was dangerous, almost challenging me "I don't care what your mother said. She's dead. You will do as I say! Are we clear?" He asked between teeth, almost like a growl
Tears found their way behind my mask, cheek burning from the aggressive action. My mind was screaming for help, for someone to take me away, far from here... But nobody came...
"I-I" Words died in my throat. I couldn't react...
"Are we clear?" he asked again like he was training an animal
"Y-Yes, father..." I responded just loud enough so he could hear
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Why still try?
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
He turned his back to me and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding out. He took his bag and left with no other word.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Why?
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I just want to live my life.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Why?
Why?
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I went back to my room. Trembling hands sliding through the same cold stone, through the same cracks. Small gasps of air coming out of me... I'm crying?? I should- I should be happy! My life will be wonderful!! Right??
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Sad
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Falling on my knees near the nightstand, I take my flint and steel out to light the candle. Making the same motion, over and over again, dark was still the only thing I could see.
Please, just lit up.
Hugging myself, trying to keep me warm, I cried. If mom was here... If she was still alive, I wouldn't have to marry someone I don't love...
I let my hands dance in the darkness, looking for something.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Floor
Floor
Desk
Wall
Hole
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
It was small. A little hole just behind the desk. Dad would never find it. Letting my hand in, I found a stone pickaxe. Something the books taught me how to do. I took it along with the first book I touched and made my way out of the house.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Not safe
Run
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
────── 〔✿〕──────
Tunnels after tunnels, they connected every cave, every path, and every destination. If you don't know what you're looking for or where you're going, you'll definitely get lost. I could hear the main river flow in the distance.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Relaxing
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Through the paths, small bright crystals could be found. They're everywhere. They're used to light everything down here.
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Mom loved them
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I love them.
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Dad hates them
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I found my way through some rocks and stones to a secret path. Adults couldn't find it because it was just a small crack. One of our rules is never to dig up, so our caves are always down. Well... except this one. I made a small tunnel going up, and then a small room. No one will find me here. I sit down with my back to the stone wall.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Silent
Dark
No Crystals
Cold
Alone
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I quickly took my necklace out of my shirt. A small crystal that was as bright as the ones before, but small enough to carry around. Before I could open the book and start reading, I felt anxious. Everything was screaming, even though the silence was unnerving me. Trembling hands dropped the crystal and made their way into my hair. Tears streaming down.
What do I do?
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Bad
No freedom
Mom
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Mom, help me
Please
Without you... I don't know what to do
My breathing was erratic, causing my head to feel lightheaded. Hands holding onto the hair desperately.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Don't panic
Don't panic
It's okay
You're okay
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
I'm not. I'm not okay. I'm done living in the shadows.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Breathe
In
Out
In
Out
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Breathe. Simple. Steady. No rushing. It's okay. I'm okay.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
You're Okay
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Then it settles in. No more tears left to cry, no more gasp for air, no more shaking. Just rage.
Why do I do what they tell me?
I could just-
I could just leave!
I stood up, letting the book fall from my lap. Head spinning, hands flailing around, trying to figure out a use for them, or just to dispose of some stress. Weird, deep breaths, trying to manage all these emotions that flooded me abruptly.
Why am I still here?
Anger pumping in my veins.
I'm so-
I just-
I punched the wall.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Bad idea
Bad idea
Stupid
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
"FUCK" I hold my wrist still quivering from pain "Why the fuck did I do that?"
Am I trying to break my hand? Good jo-
Rocks started falling, making me jump. Did I punch that hard? Maybe they were just loose. I should be more careful.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Hand hurts
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Something bright emerged through the stone.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Light!
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
Taking my pickaxe out, ignoring the pain in my knuckles, I started chopping stones away.
I made a small hole, big enough for my hand. It was brighter than anything I've ever seen. I let my uninjured hand through the crack.
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Warm
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
It's so warm! I could hear so many weird sounds and-
┏ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┓
Outside
Outside
Outside
┗ ━━┅━━━┅━━ ┛
"No way..."
Did I just find a way out?