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Five Years Ago
It all started with a holy mackerel mug on the shelf in an antique shop in Sendai. As Kei was dragged around stores all day by Akiteru to buy furniture for their new cafe, a new obsession bloomed. Mugs. He couldn’t care less about the western style table and chairs that Akiteru stated were “essential for the vibe” but as they went from shop to shop, he found himself collecting mugs.
“This.”
“Really Kei? That?”
“Well yeah, don’tcha think?” A very sarcastic but somehow genuine grin was stuck on Kei’s face as he held up the strangest mug Akiteru had ever seen. Covered in dust and plucked off a top shelf, Kei held a white mug with what appeared to be a parody of a tarot card on the front.
“Holy Mackerel, get it nii-san?”
“Yes, of course I get it. And you want that in the shop?”
“Well, I think buying a set of mugs would be boring and paper cups suck so why not just have a wall of random mugs people can choose from?” Kei flashed his teeth at Akiteru again, wiggling his brows displaying the mug as if it was the greatest thing.
“That’s the first idea you’ve put out for the shop besides picking the model of espresso machine…” Kei rolled his eyes. “But you’re right, I think it’s a good idea. Adds character to it.”
“I already have at least 20 at home.” Kei thought back to all the mugs he’d collected over the years sitting in a box in his new apartment in Tokyo. Tadashi had bought him a dinosaur mug with a lid when they were kids, Hinata brought him back a handmade mug from Brazil with colourful stripes, and Kageyama had begrudgingly given him a teacup with a spoon for their Christmas gift exchange two years ago. It was the perfect idea.
Due to a death in the family, Akiteru and Kei had inherited a shop front. Years had passed of it lying empty before the two of them finally agreed to open a cafe. Initially, it was Akiteru’s idea but serendipitously it became Kei’s love and life.
And with that, Kei and Akiteru opened a cafe in the heart of Tokyo a month or so later. Found furniture, plants all over, and a wall of mugs.
One Year After That
A year or so after opening, Akiteru left Kei to manage the shop himself. He moved back to Sendai to work an office job and be closer to their family, while Kei preferred the life he had built after finishing uni in Tokyo. He was good at it all, anyway. He had a knack for drink making and oddly, was able to develop a rapport with the customers that Akiteru just wasn’t able to do.
It was around this time that Kei started getting ‘regulars’. A lot of them, actually.
There was Lucinda, the elderly American woman who had lived in Tokyo with her late husband for most of her life. Lucinda always asked for the cup of stars, which was from Akiteru’s personal collection, for her earl grey tea with milk. She always tried to tip Kei despite his insistence that tipping was not a thing in Japan. “I know dear, but you deserve it.” She would say with a smile and a wink as she left her mug on the counter with a 1,000 yen note underneath.
Then there was Jiro, the energetic high school student who stopped by after school, swearing that one day he would work for Kei. He’d always choose the old armchair in the corner and sit sipping a mocha while conversing with Kei about making drinks. He preferred the extra-large flamingo mug that Yachi had gifted Kei when the shop opened.
And then there was the man whose name Kei didn’t know initially. He always came the hour before closing and would leave as soon as he saw Kei starting to clean. Despite not knowing hardly anything about him, Kei vividly remembered the first time he came to the shop.
Kei had been in the kitchen washing dishes because the shop was quiet when he heard the bells on the door jingle.
“I’ll be out in just a minute!” he hollered, drying his hands and pulling his apron off before stepping back into the bar area. “Sorry I-” but he cut himself off when it was someone he didn’t recognize. He wasn’t sure who he expected to be standing there in the dim light of the bar, but surely not this guy.
He looked exhausted, but irrevocably handsome. As if the life of a businessman could only shake wrinkles into his clothes but not his face.
“Sorry to come in late like this, you’re still open right?” His voice had a slight rasp to it but was kind, mirroring his friendly smile.
“Oh, um, yes yes we’re open until 8, what can I get for you?”
“Perfect. Could I have a cappuccino?”
“Of course, which mug would you like? That’s kind of the thing here.” Kei grinned as he gestured to the wall of mugs behind him with a slight flourish.
He scrutinized the mugs, squinting slightly whilst leaning into the counter. “That one.” he said with a slight chuckle.
Up on the top shelf sat the Holy Mackerel mug. A cheap white mug with a priest with a fish head tarot card design on the side reading “The Holy Mackerel”. Kei threw the man a sideways glance and reached up to grab the mug. It was dusty, no one had asked for it since the shop opened. Kei rinsed it off and held it up again before starting the drink.
“It’s funny don’t you think?” the man said, now leaning halfway on to the counter. “Where did you find a mug like that?”
Kei tried to work the stupid smile off his face while rummaging in the fridge for the milk, “A thrift shop in Sendai actually.”
“Ahh, are you from Sendai then?” A chatty one, Kei thought.
“Yeah, grew up there. But I’ve lived here for the last 8 years, well, since I graduated from university. I take it you’re from here?”
“What gave it away?” a sideways smile as he gestured to his businessman-like attire and bag.
Kei finished his drink with a quiet laugh. “On the house,” he said, sliding the mug across the table, “Sit anywhere. Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen.” He was exhausted, Kei could tell. And he was charming, but that was beside the point… the guy could use a free coffee.
“Why thank you~” he sang back to Kei.
Kei worked quietly for a while, cleaning up the kitchen before rolling out with the mop to clean the shop. The man was sitting quietly, sipping his coffee and resting his head on the back of the chair.
He was handsome. Tall. And with just a bit of stubble along a sharp jaw. For a moment Kei thought he had fallen asleep until he sat up again and cracked his neck. Kei quickly looked away and rolled out the mop bucket to the back of the shop.
His back turned to the rest of the room, he heard the quiet clink of a mug being placed onto the counter. “Oh you don’t have to rush out-“
Kei turned around and was met with a very tired but very warm smile lopsided above a loose tie, “The cappuccino was perfect. Thank you.”
He could see the tiniest bit of longing behind his eyes. Or, maybe it wasn’t longing, but it was something more.
“You’re welcome.”
The sun was going down earlier and earlier. Tetsurou hated leaving work in the dark. This time of the year was so cloudy he couldn’t even spot the moon during his drive. The only thing he had to look forward to was a warm mug and a quiet place to sit for a while before going back to his cramped apartment with the world’s loudest neighbours.
He had stumbled upon The Bitter Mug a few weeks ago, and it had now become a habit to stop in after work. The shop had an atmosphere he couldn’t quite put his finger on, though he couldn’t say he had ever seen it in the daylight. This time of year, it was dark when he left for work and dark when he headed home. Something about drinking coffee in a quiet but quirky shop full of warm lights was so comforting. The darkness outside like a blanket over the windows, just an assortment of lamps and a bright barista lighting the shop. Every piece of furniture was different, there were stools, couches, floor cushions, and a wild array of mugs lining the wall behind the bar. At the end of the day, it was just a simple thing that made his monotonous life a bit more interesting.
“Evening Kei,” he said as he walked into the shop, finding his cappuccino ready in his Holy Mackerel Mug on the counter, “You’ve got your name tag on tonight.”
“Ah I suppose I couldn’t keep my identity a secret for too long,” Kei replied with a pleasant sigh, as if he was happily giving up on anonymity, “So are you going to share yours with me then?”
Seems flirtatious, Tetsurou thought. At this age, he felt like his ability to get a read on someone was lacking but maybe this time he was right. So, he did what any clever businessman would.
“Really? The JVA huh?”
“Youngest person to be appointed to the board of directors, in the flesh.”
Kei rolled his eyes with a sly grin, “Well congrats, big shot.”
“Ah that was a few years ago now. It’s mostly just paperwork and feeling like an old man seeing those youngsters run around.”
“Did you play then?” Kei looked curious; his head cocked slightly.
Tetsurou sipped his drink while leaning into the bar. “In another life I did.” Another sip. “It wasn’t my passion though.”
“In another life, huh,” Kei crouched behind the bar, rearranging the milk fridge.
Tetsurou heard Kei’s voice catch in the back of his throat. Should I pry? he wondered. “Did you play?” only a second of hesitation, Tetsurou wasn’t one to keep his mouth shut anyway, so he couldn’t help himself from asking.
Kei shut the fridge and looked up with a sad smile, “Yeah, once upon a time.”
At that, Tetsurou knew to bite his tongue, despite his curiosity. And it seemed the universe agreed—the phone rang, startling them both.
“Excuse me,” Kei said, pulling his phone from his pocket. Tetsurou obliged him and took his mug back to the chair where he always sat.
He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but the shop was quiet and Tetsurou couldn’t help wanting to listen to Kei’s voice. He was a bit enthralled with the man. He was funny and sarcastic but deeply kind. These evenings in the shop consisted of small talk and pleasant silence, and Tetsurou thought that someday he would dive a bit deeper, but they weren’t in any rush.
“Hey, Aki, what’s up?”
…
“Yeah, I’m doing good. Getting ready to close now. I’ll see you this weekend, right?”
…
“Ok ok. Yeah, I will.”
…
“Love you too, see you soon.”
Kei must have a partner. That’s a shame, he thought. But there’s no reason why Tetsurou can’t still enjoy his company. No reason.
He stopped coming. Kei didn’t know why, but he noticed. It’s not like they were anything.
Well, in Kei’s mind they could have been. Maybe he should’ve made his move instead of dancing around the idea day after day.
He moved on. It’s not like he really had a choice. Can’t chase down someone you never got the number of, never even asked their last name. So, Kei worked. He continued to work as he always had, hoping that one day that man would walk back through those doors. Or maybe get out of his head.
Eventually the intrusive thoughts of loose ties and messy black hair faded away. The only reminder being that dusty fish mug sitting on the high shelf.
--
Akiteru sat on the counter one evening after hours. He was visiting for the week and happily harassing Kei all the while.
“Can’t believe we’ve been open for three years Kei.”
“I can. I’m the one working every day on this place.”
Akiteru grinned at him, ignoring Kei’s comment, “That stupid mug brought this place to life. You started this whole… thing.”
Kei tensed up a bit. No one mentioned the mug, no one knew anyone used it. It was almost on a pedestal, part of the shop’s lore.
“Are you alright?”
“Hm?” He was brought back, “Yeah I’m fine. Just tired, ya know.”
And that was partly true. He worked every day. He honestly didn’t trust anyone else to do all the things he did. His workers were good, but he needed that control. Working himself to death was one way to deal with the truth. Kei was a bit heartbroken. Why was it so hard to get over someone who he was never with? That was what everyone said, wasn’t it? That sometimes it’s even worse when you never gave the relationship a real chance, or in this case, any shot at all. The whole Pinterest cliche of heart break that wasn’t even from a real relationship. And even though he knew it was real, he knew the whole stupid psychological reasoning behind it (because you don’t give yourself permission to grieve them properly blah blah blah…), he still felt stupid hanging on to this fantasy of a man who simply used to buy coffee from him and chat.
Present
He’d never told Akiteru. Or anyone for that matter. It was more exciting as a little secret. A way for him to hang on to the idea of Tetsurou. Even though neither of them had ever made any moves on one another, during those months Kei had thought about him constantly. He just… couldn’t put himself out there. He wasn’t confident enough. Wasn’t sure. Wasn’t sure if the other man was even available. He’d made numerous assumptions, convincing himself of one thing, then the other. Kei believed that he couldn’t do things without being certain of them, and that was his fatal flaw.
But now, flushing the espresso machine, Akiteru once again dirtying his bar with his cords, and that mug steadily collecting dust on the high shelf, Kei thought he would do anything to have another chance.
“Kei, I think we should replace this chair, it looks worn.”
“Akiteru, I don’t think you really have any grounds to tell me how to decorate my shop.”
“Our shop.”
“My shop.”
Akiteru laughed and flopped down on a couch. It had been five years of The Bitter Mug. Akiteru lived closer than before and would stop by on weekends after he got off work to help Kei finish the day and clean the shop. They were business partners, though Akiteru was more of an investor than anything else at this point.
The store was still open, but no one was there. No one came in this late anymore. But the bells rang.
No one came in anymore, but the bells just rang. The bells, on the door. The bells on the door just rang.
Kei was in the kitchen when Akiteru shouted his name. Lazy prick, can’t help one customer, I’m sure he’s forgotten how to even use the espresso machine, Kei thought.
“Please ignore my brother,” Kei said, tying his apron behind him and stepping out of the kitchen. But before he could say anything else, a chill ran down his spine.
In that moment, everything was just slightly wrong. Akiteru wasn’t supposed to be there. Kei wasn’t supposed to be a mess from cleaning the kitchen. And it wasn’t supposed to have been three years late.
“Your brother.” The black-haired businessman said, with his typical grin a hair wider than Kei remembered it.
“I’m his business partner thank you very much.”
“Akiteru please.” Kei saw a look pass over Akiteru’s face. A knowing, omniscient sort of thing. He supposed Akiteru could read him just as well. Akiteru got up and went to the back room without saying a word.
“Ya know I feel really stupid now.”
He was wearing sweats. Kei didn’t say anything. He smiled and grabbed the mug off the top shelf, rinsing it before warming it for a cappuccino.
The man let out a long sigh and leaned against the counter with his back to Kei. “It’s nice to see this place hasn’t changed.”
Kei wasn’t sure why exactly he felt so overwhelmed in that moment. He knew later, but right then everything was foggy. The steam that rose from the espresso machine and subsequently fogged his glasses did not help. Tetsurou was a light, beaming through it all.
He was still staring down at the mug after pouring in the milk, “You’ve been gone awhile.”
They still weren’t looking at each other.
“I got sent away, for work. I was in America.” He turned towards Kei whose eyes were still locked on to that ridiculous mug. “And now, I feel quite stupid. And I’d love it if you asked me why.”
Kei placed both hands around the mug and slid it across the counter, finally looking up at Tetsurou.
He choked, “Yeah? Why w-why do you feel stupid?” Kei shook his head trying to un-fluster himself.
“Kei?” Tetsurou didn’t touch the coffee, but instead reached across the counter to cup Kei’s face.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why, I’m uh, a bit out of sorts.” He chuckled, “I guess I missed you or something.
“Why are you stupid, huh?”
Tetsurou laughed, dropping his hands from Kei’s face. He picked up the mug and took a sip of his drink. It was the worst cappuccino Kei had ever made, but he knew that Tetsurou didn’t care.
“Years ago, I made a mistake.”
I did too, Kei thought. He had, but it was coming together. It was ok. It had to be ok right?
“I broke my own heart and left it here in this coffee shop.” Tetsurou looked down at his coffee before pointing his lopsided grin back at Kei.
“Pretty sure you took mine when you left.” He wanted to laugh for some reason. It all seemed coincidental and too good to be true. But sometimes, he figured, things worked out exactly as they were supposed to.
“Well then I guess we’re both in the right place now.” Kuroo sipped his coffee, holding eye contact with Kei.
“I guess we are.” And they both smiled.
The End.