Archive of Our Own ^beta

He grinned appreciatively. “You can’t sidetrack me that easily, Pole.”

She shifted so she was practically sitting in his lap. “Yes I can.” In Cambridge, the librarian would have been scandalized and would have thrown them out. In modern Narnia (and wouldn’t that take some getting used to!), it earned them a sly wink and a recommendation for volumes of erotic Calormene poetry slipped into his copy of Bullfinch’s Mythology of Man.

“Yes,” he allowed a few minutes later, “you can. But I still need to find something more than anecdotal evidence for the great Human Immigration into Narnia and Telmar. Not to mention the Second Immigration to Galma and Narnia. And—”

“HINT and SIGN?” Jill interrupted, her voice unusually high-pitched.

“That’s all I have now — hints and signs.” Eustace ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I need something concrete.”

With a shaking hand, Jill wrote out the words: Human Immigration into Narnia and Telmar. Second Immigration to Galma and Narnia. “What’s next?” she asked with a wild little giggle. “CLUE? Calormen, Lone Islands, Underland and Ettinsmoor? Or—”

“Wait!” Eustace scrambled for a pen. “You might have the missing link. There weren’t any humans in Underland when we were there, but maybe…” He started scribbling, his notes chasing themselves up and down the margins of his page.

Jill grabbed his hand and held it still. “Scrubb. HINT, SIGN and CLUE? It couldn’t be more obvious than if Aslan spelled it out in giant stone letters.”

Eustace lowered his pen and stared at the letters. “But what does it mean?” he asked, bewildered.

“People have been coming to this world for far longer than we knew,” said Jill. “And to far more places than Narnia — just like you always said."

"It's only logical!" Eustace unrolled a map and placed a fossil dragon-tooth on the corner to keep it from curling up again. (That would be his next project, he vowed. Just as soon as he helped his cousins prove their true identities by illuminating the origins of humanity. Which, granted, was no small task.)

"Helen and Frank weren’t like Adam and Eve," he said. "I grant you the apple parallel is odd, but no one here knows that, so we can set that argument aside for now. They may have founded the line of Narnian monarchs, but they couldn’t have been the progenitors for the whole human race in this world. Biodiversity just doesn't work that way. Inbreeding does not make for a healthy population."

"I gather that's what Susan told them the first time around," said Jill lightly. "When the dryads urged them to create an heir among themselves."

Eustace blinked. "Create an... oh." His ears turned red. In some things, at least, his sensibilities would never be fully Narnian.

"Most everyone objected," Jill added, taking pity on him. "At least all the mammalian Narnians, and most of the Avians too, I should think. Dryads just have different ideas about cross-pollination. You should interview them."

Eustace's whole face burned. "The dryads?" he squeaked. "About cross-pollination?"

Jill laughed out loud. No one shushed her – this was Narnia, after all. The murder of crows perched atop the stacks cawed and cackled in appreciation of a good joke, or maybe they just liked the noise. "No, Scrubb," she said fondly. "Ask your cousins about the Golden Age myths about human reproduction. I'm sure they have all kinds of stories."

"Unless they come with citations, I don't want to hear them." Eustace thought of discussing sex with Peter and shook his head to clear the image. "On second thought, I don't even want the citations."

"That's a shame. Lucy has the most marvelous stories." Her voice was almost dreamy.

Eustace refrained from asking for any elaboration. "We're getting off-topic."

"Not really." Jill ran her foot up Eustace's calf. "I'm merely conducting my own tangential research."

They accomplished very little after that. After all, Eustace was nothing if not thorough in his research.

The University of Beaversdam welcomes Dr. Jill Pole as head of the newly formed Narnian, Archenlander, Telmarine and Calormen Humanities (NATCH) Department. The Humanities Department will use a cutting-edge combination of genetic sequencing techniques, star-scrying and astrology to elucidate the Transdimensional Human Origin Theory (THOT). Dr. Pole will work in close conjunction with Dr. Eustace Clarence Scrubb of the Biology Department, who is currently researching the parallel development of species across dimensional boundaries. Dr. Scrubb is best known for his discovery of Draco octesius and the evolutionary link between ancient dragons and modern scrubb lizards.

I believe Dr. Scroll and Professor Pub or whatever. The Dragon Reborn guy. If he says humanity came from another world, and that he came to Narnia through a painting when he was a boy, then I believe him! I was once almost abducted by a human who called himself a Murican, he called me Bigfoot and said he'd sell my picture to the tabloids and make me famous. My feet aren't that big but I told him to talk to my cousin Vinni, she's an attorney up in Ettinsmoor and she'd draw up a contract, but when I offer to sign in blood he ran away screaming and I never got my money. So anyway I believe in Spare Oom or wherever Professor What's-His-Nuts is from. And I don't need all that fancy astro-genetic stuff to prove it, because I've seen a Murican and you'll know I'm telling the truth when he puts me in the tabloids.

-- Yon Yonson the Yeti

Wanted: Research Assistant

Work to be performed in the field, laboratory and offices of Drs. Pole and Scrubb. See attached for full list of duties and desired qualifications. Opposable thumbs not required; voice dictation devices provided.

Applicants who are particularly afraid of fire or being eaten should consider the Humanities Archivist position instead. Applicants who are only interested in meeting one of the Pevensies Reborn are asked to please refrain from applying.

Pole, if we ever get the rings to work again, can we send that Yeti back through? It would make him very happy and make my research assistant even happier. He keeps bringing yellow snow cones and it puts her off her feed. – Scrubb

No, Scrubb, we can't just push Yon Yonson through a transdimensional portal no matter how much we may want to. But if we ever get back to England, or even "Murica," we could pick up a pamphlet about Bigfoot. Love, Pole.

Dear Pole: ... I don't really want to go back. Do you? – Scrubb

Not until I finish my research. Speaking of which, can you help me with something? Love, Pole.

Anything. What can I do? – Scrubb

Make a contribution to the growing biodiversity of Beaversdam. Love, Pole.

??? – Scrubb

She means she wants to cross-pollinate with you, Dr. Scrubb, and is inviting you to a ritual mating intercourse to create a baby human with her. May I observe? – Ilex, Student of Humanities

Thank you for your interest, Ilex, but human relations are generally considered private

Dear Scrubb: tell your assistant to send Ilex another copy of the Humanities Code of Conduct, and then report to my office immediately for hands-on research. Love, Pole.

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Yon Yonson the Yeti travels through interdiminsional portal! Did he discover the lost human homeland? Turn to page 10 to learn about his incredable journey "there and back again!"

CORRECTION: In the previous issue, the Eager Beaver incorrectly spelled "Pevensie" as Pensieve, Pevsnee and Penisenvy, and offers its sincere apologies to the Reborn, the Descendents and all Pevinsee scholars.

WANTED: Proofreader. Must have exellent attention to detail. Join our Eager Beaver family! Weather you're a horse or human, mouse or minotaur, faun or finch, when you join our lodge, you join more than the sellingest tabloid in Beaversdam: you join our family! Our motto is: We are Beavers all!

You snooze, you loose, Professor Scrubble! Sorry I am no longer available to be a test subject for your interdimensional portal. I have been hired as the new proofreader for the Eager Beaver Tabloid. They were so impressed with my resumay that they hired me on the spot. They might even make me a reporter and send me to Murica. I'll bring back a souvenear for you if I have time. Cheers!

– Yon Yonson, Yeti, Proofreader

Jill murmured something sleepily. It could have been Mermish, for all Eustace could tell.

"Pole?"

Finally, she rolled over. No small feat, given the fact that she was eight months pregnant. Eustace hated to wake her, but he'd just had one of those dreams – all fire and water and visions of England consumed by a cataclysm worse than the Blitz – and he knew she would rather hear about it from him than live through the same dream herself.

"Another one?" she asked in a small voice. He helped her sit up, and they rubbed circles on each other's backs for comfort.

"You don't think it could possibly be real. Do you?"

Jill smiled weakly. "Of course not. We'd have heard about it from Yon Yonson, Eager Beaver and Interdimensional Reporter Extraordinaire." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Even if something were to happen to our world, there's nothing we can do from here. Except..."

"What?" Eustace prodded gently. "What can we do?"

"Live." She sat up straight and the fire in her eyes struck him all over again – how much he loved this woman who had fought snakes and sought dragons and traveled the worlds with him. "Even if England were no more, we can keep a little piece of her alive here. Through us."

Eustace thought of his research first, of course. Of all the bloodlines and oral histories and linguistic oddities he had almost managed to trace – to England, yes, but also to Spain and Norway and much, much farther, to Polynesia and Australia. Much more than England would live on through Narnia and her sister countries.

And then there was his unborn daughter (or son – Jill refused to ask and so his research assistant refused to tell, although Eustace just knew she could tell somehow). Biodiversity and ancient history paled in importance with what was still to come.

"I think that's what the signs meant," said Jill. "That, just like there was a piece of Narnia in our world – in the painting and the wardrobe and in us – there's a piece of our world here as well.

Eustace pulled her close. "I was thinking about our little dragonet." (The baby had made Jill growl and snap in a very dragonish fashion, at least at the beginning, even as it made Eustace want to fly, so the nickname had seemed only natural. They would have to think of a better name before long, he knew. Maybe Reepicheep. Or Caspian. Or Jamaica, in honor of Pole's homeland. Or...)

Jill pulled his hand to her belly. "Here. Feel. The dragon is restless."

Eustace smiled. Just like that, the darkness of the nightmare faded, the horror and fear receded. "Is that a good sign?" he asked. For all his research on childbirth, he was still so unsure about... well, all of it. The Narnians said it would come naturally. Eustace hoped so.

Jill kissed him on the jaw and snuggled closer. "It's a very good sign," she reassured him. "Since we're all awake, how about a story? The dragonet likes hearing your voice."

Eustace picked up a well-worn book. His eyes misted over so that the text was blurry, but he already knew the words by heart. "Come now, Good Dragonet and Gentle Daughter of Eve, stop and listen with your sensitive hearts so that you might hear the Great Lay of Narnia, which has been told since the day Aslan sang Narnia into being. Harken to me now. It begins thus: This is a story about something that happened long ago when your grandfather was a child. It is a very important story because it shows how all the comings and goings between our own world and the land of Narnia first began..."