Work Text:
Beautiful
While staying at camp, Nico was never one to be actively social with others, or even friendly. Not because he didn't necessarily want to, but because he never thought he deserved it. 'You're a child of Hades,' he often reminded himself, 'You've already done something wrong.'
Even after the war, Nico rarely bothered with anyone besides the 7 and Reyna. It's odd. Somehow he's enough for the most powerful demigods alive, but not for everyone else. He couldn't deny, he saw how people looked at him. Or at least how he thought people looked at him.
While Hazel, Reyna, and Jason were back at camp Jupiter, Nico rarely left his cabin. Except for the occasional dealing with Leos dumb jokes and Percy trying to connect. He cared for Percy. He didn't think it was possible not to after everything. Still, there was always this awkwardness he felt around the son of Poseidon. This deep thought that no matter what anyone said, Percy was disgusted that this sickly looking thing, this boy, had had feelings for him.
As freeing as it was to tell him, sometimes he regretted it. Sometimes he thought people thought less of him because of it, not that anyone knew besides Jason, Annabeth, Reyna, and Percy anyways.
On a particularly harsh day of contemplating his friendships in his cabin he heard a knock on his door. 'That's odd.' He thought before making a sound of acknowledgement. Slowly the door opened, just enough for a tanned, freckled hand to poke through.
"Hey, Nico." A distinctively cheery voice said from behind the door. Nico immediately knew who it was as his heart did backflips. Will Solace. He quickly fixed his hair and brushed off his clothes to his best ability before thinking, 'This is stupid,' and messing everything up again.
At this point, Will had been waiting at the door for quite a while. He decided Nico must've been out somewhere. He turned away from the door just as Nico opened it.
"Hey, Will." He said, sounding way too breathless for a person who was supposedly sitting in bed. Will beamed. Probably laughing at me. Nico thought solemnly.
"So..." Will said, still smiling that stupidly cute smile that made Nico get butterflies.
"So?" Nico repeated, trying to sound as neutral as possible.
Will stayed silent for a while, mustering the courage to ask what he wanted to ask. Honestly? Will didn't even think he'd get this far. His palms were already sweating and his heart was beating a mile a minute.
Nico waited expectantly for about a minute before sighing. "If you just came to mess with me you can leave, Solace." He said irritatedly. He didn't know why he was saying this. If he were being honest, he would wait a million years just to hear Will speak. Not that he could let Will or anyone else hear that though.
"No, no, no, wait!" Will exclaimed, grabbing Nico's arm just as he was heading back into his cabin. Nico glared at the hand gripping his arm, Will felt as if his gaze was burning his hand off. He hesitantly pulled his arm away.
"Sorry." Will said, embarrassed, "I was just thinking... Would you like to take a walk with me?" He was sure his cheeks were as bright red as the tomatoes the Demeter kids grew.
Nico on the other hand was pale. He was once again rendered speechless by Will fucking Solace.
"Um..." Nico said quietly. Should he go? Was this a date? Did Will like him? Did he love him?
A million questions flowed through Nico's brain. No, Nico thought, Will's not like me, he's normal. He would never have feelings for a boy. He was probably doing this as a prank of some sort.
"Fine," Nico said, glaring up at him, "I'll 'take a walk' with you." Despite his thoughts, he still wanted to know why Will had asked him of all people. It's not like they were friends. If Will was in fact pranking him, Nico would simply throw him in the lake.
Will smiled and started walking, Nico two feet behind him. They walked in silence for a bit before Will spoke in his usual calming voice.
"Why do you always stay in your cabin?" Will asked him, stopping to look back.
Gods. Nico thought. Save me now.
"Why is that any of your business, Solace?" Nico snapped at him.
Will held up his hands in defense. "It's not. I just wonder sometimes why you keep to yourself in that empty dark cabin when there's, y'know, actual people here."
Nico saw red. "What do you mean by that, Solace? Are you saying I'm a freak or something?" Nico had never felt so angry at Will before.
"No! That's not what I meant at all!" Will rushed to say. "I was just worried that-"
Nico cut him off.
"Worried? You were fucking worried about me? What? Do you think I'm incapable of taking care of myself? I'm not a child, Solace." Nico said backing away from him.
Will walked towards him. "Nico, that's not what I-" Will tried to say, Nico cutting him off once again.
"I don't even know why I agreed to this stupid walk. I should've known better." Nico said one last time before dissolving in the shadows.
"Fuck!" Will exclaimed angrily, putting his head in his hands.
***
He walked back into his cabin.
"How was the walk?" His sister Kayla asked.
He looked at her and groaned before throwing himself on his bunk. Kayla and his brother Austin shared a knowing look. Together, they walked over to comfort their brother.
***
Nico landed a few feet away from his cabin instead of in it like he wanted. Dammit. He thought before walking up to the door, getting stopped by someone calling his name.
It wasn't Will. No, this particular voice was annoying. Nico knew immediately who it was. Leo Valdez.
"Hey, Nico!" Leo called from behind him walking up to the cabin door. Nico huffed. "Fuck off, Leo." He said, still angry from his conversation with Will.
He walked into his cabin and attempted to close the door but Leo stuck his foot out and walked in anyways.
Nico glared at him.
"Bad date?" Leo said, his usual shit eating grin on his face. Nico glared harder. "Leave, Valdez." He said, more annoyed than angry now, pushing Leo towards the door.
"Oh come on!" Leo said, still wearing that stupid grin. "I saw you with Will."
Nico froze.
"W-what?" He stuttered out. "Who told you that I'm-" Suddenly, Nico felt like he couldn't breathe. He hyperventilated, finding it hard to stand.
"Nico?" Leo said panicked. His grin fell off and was replaced with a more worried, more distressed expression. He firmly grasped Nico's shoulders, trying to keep him upright.
Nico was shaking. Muttering something like 'How did he find out?' And, 'Who else knows?'. He curled up into a ball and started sobbing. No. It was worse than that, he was wailing.
"Shh. Nico. It's okay. It's alright, I'm right here." Leo said soothingly. He's never seen Nico like this before. And honestly? It terrified him.
Despite what Leo had said, Nico was still shaking. His breathing had gotten a little better, but it was still too fast for Nico to be considered fine.
Leo sighed. He didn't know what to do. He felt guilty and confused. As a last resort, he did the only thing he could think of to cheer him up.
Music
He hummed for a bit before singing softly,
'Luna, tu que lo ves
Dile cuanto le amo
Luna, tu que lo ves
Dile cuanto lo extrano'
Nico's sniffling got a bit better, so Leo continued.
' Esta noche se que el esta
Contemplandote igual que yo
A traves de ti quero darle un beso'
Nico had stopped muttering completely by this time. Leo carried on.
' Tu que sabes de soledad
Acosejale por favor
De que vuelva convenselo, te ruego'
Nico uncurled slightly. Leo took this opportunity to hold Nico in his arms. Nico tensed, but soon relaxed as Leo kept singing.
'Luna, tu que lo ves
Dile cuanto es que sufro
Luna, y dile que
Vuelva , por que ya es mucho '
Leo started stroking his hair gently, not wanting him so get scared again.
' Tu que sabes por donde va
Acariciale con mi amor
Dile que el es a quien yo mas quiero '
Nico turned so he was facing Leo, eyes watering but not yet crying. Leo gave him a small smile before singing the last lines.
' Tu sabes por donde va
Iluminale con tu luz
Su sendero porque quizas , no es bueno
No es bueno, quizas no es bueno
Y dile que lo quiero'
"Are you okay?" Leo said softly. Nico opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He started crying again, burying his face in Leo's chest. Leo ran his hand up and down Nico's arm soothingly.
"Shh. It's okay. We don't have to talk until your ready, okay? Or not at all." Nico momentarily looked up and nodded before burying his face once again.
It'd been at least 10 minutes before Nico spoke. "Thank you." He whispered so softly that if Leo's full attention hadn't been on him, he would've missed it.
In response, Leo only held on to Nico tighter.
He was like family to him. All of the Argo II crew were. He only wanted the best.
"Everything's gonna be okay, Nico." Leo said before the two of them fell into another comfortable silence.
***
After Will had explained what happened to Kayla and Austin, they frowned at him. Kayla even going as far as facepalming.
"So, let me get this straight," She said, pinching the bridge of her nose, "He agreed to take a walk with you, and then you call him weird for not hanging out with 'actual people'?" Will was sure she thought he was stupid. And maybe he was.
Will groaned and put his head in his hands. "That's not what I meant." He defended. "I just meant that.... Gods. I don't even know what I meant." He admitted, looking up at his siblings. "Do you think he hates me?" He said in a quiet voice. He looked as if hr was about to start crying.
Kayla rubbed his shoulder soothingly.
"You really do like Nico, don't you?"
Will nodded. "I don't just like him," He said, "I love him."
Kayla just nodded and gave him a hug. Austin smiling softly at his brother. Gods, he thought, my brother is in love.
***
It had been about a month since the failed walk. Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Reyna, Hazel, and Frank were all here in camp visiting.
"So," Percy started. It was lunch time and they were eating pizza. Somehow Percy had gotten his to be completely blue. It looked disgusting and delicious at the same time.
"What do you want, Percy?" Nico asked. He didn't intend for it to come across as rude, but that's how it always did.
"I just wanted to catch up." He said holding his hands up defense. "What's been going on since Annie and I have been gone? Anything new?"
Nico rolled his eyes. "Things are still the same, Percy. The world didn't suddenly flip because you miraculously got into college." He said it as a joke, but he wasn't sure whether or not Percy knew that.
Either way, Percy kept going. "But is there anyone new?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. Nico blushed. Will. His mind immediately thought before remembering he was mad at him.
"Shut up, Perce." He said, embarrassed.
Percy kept quiet, a sly smile playing on his lips.
"Okay, then." He said, exchanging some sort of look with Annabeth who was sitting next to him.
Leo, who was next to Nico spoke. "Why are you blushing, Nico? It's not like you even have a boyfriend to be embarrassed about."
Nico glared at Leo, but there was no anger in it. He was just glad he and Leo could talk about things like this, especially when he knew Leo was questioning whether or not he was just into girls. "Shut up, Leo." He grumbled.
Leo raised his hands im defense. "Don't hate the truth." He replied playfully. Nico was about to retort when Percy spoke, a puzzled expression on his face, Annabeth and Jason wearing the same one.
"Nico," He said slowly, "Did you tell Leo about the...um..."
He couldn't even say it. Nico thought to himself. He was disgusted by me. He felt like crying. Leo, gods bless him, noticed.
"Hey," He whispered in Nico's ear. "You're okay." Nico nodded, swallowing thickly.
"Yeah." He said quietly, looking down, waiting for Percy to be mad at him for telling people about his forbidden feelings for him.
Instead, Percy placed his hand on Nico's shoulder. "Nico, I'm not mad." He said calmly.
Nico looked up. "You're not?" He asked, embarrassed by how pathetic he sounded.
Percy smiled softly. "Of course I'm not. I'm proud of you." A mischievous grin took over his soft smile. "Besides," He started, "Now more people know that I've had so many people adoring me."
Nico rolled his eyes so hard it kinda hurt.
"How do you put up with this everyday?" He asked Annabeth. She grinned. "Anytime he acts up I just call his mom and she tells him off."
Nico laughed.
"Like a child. Sounds fitting." He said, exchanging a looking with Annabeth.
Percy groaned, turning red. "You guys do know I'm right here, right?" He said turning his head between the two.
Nico smile, proud of himself. "That's the point."
He was about to ask another embarrassing question about Percy when none other than Will Solace walked up to him.
"Hey, Nico." He said shyly. "Can we talk?"
Leo sent a worried glance towards him.
"I'm fine, Leo." He said surely, happy that Leo cared for him. Jason sent a confused look toward Leo.
"Later." He heard Leo whisper, but he knew Leo would never tell without his permission.
He looked back at Will, standing up from his seat to be in front of him. "Sure." He said, leaving no room for discussion. Will barely had enough time to say, 'fine', before Nico grabbed his arm and dissolved into the shadows with him.
Hazel, Frank and Reyna sat down just as Will and Nico left.
"What's going on?" Hazel asked worried.
Percy shook his head. "I don't know."
***
Nico POV
Will and I walked in silence. I was pretty sure he was leading us to the infirmary so I didn't bother to ask. There was this sort of uneasy feeling residing in me. While I was still upset at him I was also scared that he hated me. That he thought I was crazy for freaking out like that. Or worse, that he was scared of me.
So many people have been afraid of me. I had gotten used to it, tried to use to my strengths, but there was always this lingering feeling of sadness whenever someone would flinch or hurry away when they saw me.
Because why did I have to be the one everyone recognized as a monster? Why did I have to be the one people warned about? Why was I always the threat. Why couldn't I just be like any of the the other campers. I swear, if just one person, just one person saw me in a different light I'd-
I don't even know what I'd do.
Not that it would happen anyways.
I had gotten do caught up in my thoughts I didn't even realize we had arrived at the infirmary. It was surprisingly cleared out for this time of day.
Will looked at me nervously. One hand in his pocket and the other scratching the back of his neck.
"So..." He started, but trailed off, like he thought against what he was about to say. I didn't have time for this.
"What did you want to tell me?" I asked, getting straight to the point.
Will looked down, embarrassed.
"Look, Nico, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything I- I actually don't know why I said it like that. But I am worried about you. I can't help but worry when someone I care about stays cooped up in his cabin all the-"
"What." I interrupted. Someone he cared about? I was someone he cared about. Me. Nico di Angelo. The son of Hades. He cared about me?
"Why?" I asked. "I mean, we aren't even friends." I said. Because we weren't. I was hardly friends with anyone.
Will blushed as if he said something he shouldn't.
"Well yeah but," He looked me straight in the eyes. It was too intense for me, so I looked away. He got a step closer.
"Even though we don't talk often I still care about you. I've been interested in you since the battle against Kronos. The way you used your powers it-"
And there it was. My powers. He was freaked out by me. Just like I thought. Just like everyone else. He probably wanted to study how fucked up I was. I'd been so stupid. Why did he have to look at me like that? With those eyes. Why did he have to look at me like he cared for me, like he... loved me. No. I needed to go. I never wanted to see him again. I need to shadow travel I needed to-
"Fuck you." I said against my better judgment. But I couldn't stop it. Why was it that with him I couldn't ignore the loneliness that came with others being afraid of me.
Will looked stunned. "What? Nico-" He said and reached out to me. I pushed him away and turned. I had to go. I ran. Pushing past him to the exit. He chased after me.
"Nico! Nico stop! Come back!"
I had had enough. All the built up anger rushed out of me.
"No! Fuck you Will. I can't believe I thought you were different!" I shouted at him. "All everybody sees in me is my powers, my father, nobody cares! And yet you stand here and pretend you do. Do you know how fucking sick that is? Is this a joke you? Are you having fun." Too much emotion was coming out at once. My eyes were watering, it was getting harder to talk, but I couldn't stop. "Why can't people see me for who I am? Why can't I just be normal. But no, I have to be like this. I have to be the one people are afraid of. And it hurts so much more that you're one of those people. That you see me like everyone else, for one I am, a monster." My voice broke, I had started crying, tears streaming down my face. In an instant, Will wrapped his arms around me.
This time I let him.
I cried into his shoulder to the point where I felt stupid. I'm supposed to be mad.
"Nico," He said softly. He pulled back to look me in my eye. He was crying too.
"Nico," He said again, soothingly, combing his fingers through my hair.
"Yes?" I said, my voice quiet.
"You're not a monster, okay? You never have been, you never will be. You're beautiful. You hear me? Beautiful, I think you're beautiful." He said, and somehow, I believed him. He said it with such sincerity, such care, such...love.
"You think I'm beautiful?" I asked softly.
He smiled and let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, I do, I really, really do." He said. His smile was so bright and his eyes were so found I-
Tears streaming down my face, snotty nose and all, I leaned in and kissed him. A peck. Short, simple, but I couldn't help myself. I pulled back and smiled, and something about that he smiled too made my heart feel at ease.
"I love you." He said, as if it were the easiest thing to say.
"I- thank you." I responded. I think that's all I'd be able to manage. He smiled nevertheless and just held me.
This was it. All I've ever wanted. Someone wasn't afraid of me, someone cared about me, someone loved me. And that person was Will. The sunshine, the brightest person I knew, someone who always shined. Someone I loved.
And he thought I was beautiful.