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Jay could still remember the moment that Mouse held Theo for the first time, the way his eyes lit up, blue sparkling in the afternoon light streaming through the windows of their apartment. Will and Jay had driven from the airport back to Jay’s apartment, and Jay had let her fall asleep in his arms while Will set up a space for Theo in the living room. She was so small, and so soft, and her sleepy face was the most precious thing in the world. Jay stroked over her cheek while she dozed, and he had never seen anyone so perfect.
“I did not think you could make a baby this cute,” Jay said, leaning back so she was cuddled on his chest instead of in his arms. “I’m assuming Julie is actually a bombshell, since I never met her.”
“She was pretty,” Will agreed without looking at him, “and she is probably the reason Theo is that cute, but you wouldn’t have liked her. She was, well, if you’ll guess, flighty.”
Jay tried not to laugh too loud so he wouldn’t startle Theo awake, her peace too perfect in this moment.
“You don’t say, huh?” Will shook his head at Jay’s reply without his own and pushed his hand through his hair. “You need a haircut, dude. Like a serious haircut. When was the last time you go one?”
“I have an infant. Does it look like I can get a haircut?”
“If you’re going to get a new job, you need to look presentable.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Will said.
They were still chatting when Mouse came home, and paused in the entryway.
“Oh!” he said softly. Jay carefully stood up and carried his niece over to Mouse. “Oh, hello.”
“Welcome home,” Jay said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “There’s someone you should meet.”
“I should. What an absolute cutie.”
Jay shifted Theo’s small form into Mouse’s arms. He was careful, and stood still, wonderfully gentle as the infant laid peacefully against him. He looked down at her, smiling and he sighed.
“Oh, you are just so precious,” Mouse said. He followed Jay back into the living room as Will was struggling with a bassinet that he’d had shipped to Jay’s apartment before leaving New York.
“Do you need help with that, too?” Jay asked, turning his attention, regrettably, away from his boyfriend. “A smart doctor like you, can’t figure out a car seat or a bassinet, huh?”
“I’m going to murder you.”
“That’s illegal.”
“Is it? I didn’t know that,” Will said.
All Mouse could focus on was Theo, this sweet, innocent little girl cuddled against his chest. Her fist had curled in his shirt, her cheek resting against his chest, and she was practically radiating heat. It was a miracle that life had brought such a small localized spot of joy into his life. There was a lot of darkness in his past, blood and death, staining his soul, and yet somehow, he was able to hold this little girl. He pressed a soft kiss into her forehead, soft hair tickling his lips.
“I promise you, no matter what happens, you will always have me, Theodora,” he mumbled into her hair. “Your dad, and your uncle, they’ll be there to protect you, but if anything happens to you, I will be there to take down anyone who thinks they can hurt you. I’ve already got the blood on my hands, more than you will ever know, so I will tear apart the world and make them pay.”
He said it quietly enough that the Halsteads' laughter covered it, so that he didn’t disturb them. He didn’t want to make a fuss over this, his promise kept between just the two of them. She burbled and he laughed, resting his forehead against hers. He danced with her in the hallway, swaying back and forth to the rhythm of his own heartbeat, to the melody of her family laughing, their family. It was beautiful, this little home they’d all fallen into, Jay and Mouse, Theo and Will, all of them here together.
“See! I got it!” Will said triumphantly.
Mouse wandered in and watched the boys continue to bicker, laughing and poking at each other. Mouse was an only child of distant parents, so he didn’t know this until he met them. Even if he’d been close with his family, he was sure the drug use and the crime would have driven a wedge between them. Jay was the only one who was there, who cared about him afterwards, who welcomed him back in. Even the intelligence unit was slow to trust him.
But Jay loved him, and let him in.
And Will was trusting him with his daughter, his small, fragile, infant daughter. He wasn’t monitoring Theo; he wasn’t watching Mouse to make sure he wasn’t hurting her. Will had his back to Mouse while he laughed at Jay’s joke, and he wasn’t even worried about Theo. They’d met once or twice over the years, but nothing substantial enough to leave him with his child.
Except he was trusting Mouse.
Mouse kissed her forehead again and shifted her in his arms.
“You two can’t even agree on how to build a crib?” he joked, settling onto the arm of the couch.
“It’s not a crib,” Jay said, “and he’s doing it wrong.”
“I am not,” Will replied. “I’m reading the directions, Jay! It says put this long metal bit in the metal hole, and screwing it in.”
“I’m sure you know plenty of about screwing bits into holes, but -”
“Jay!”
“I don’t think you’re doing this right.”
“I am!”
"Then, why is it lopsided?"
"Because I'm not done yet, clearly."
Jay hummed, unconvinced.
Mouse watched, sat off to the side but not separate, the last piece of this family, as they moved about the living room, putting this bassinet together side by side. When they worked together, where they were together, they were completely unstoppable. They were whole here, one unit, one team against the world.
Even when Will and Theo moved into their own apartment, they were still family. They met up on days off to get meals or hang out together, Will dropped Theo off for them to watch, and their family held. When he and Jay fought, they were still a family.
“Here’s your favorite girl,” Will said whenever he dropped her off before heading into the hospital. Jay carried her around on his hip, and Mouse held her against his chest in a carrier, and it felt real, and right, and warm. It was everything Mouse didn’t realize he missed. When there were bad nights, when he wanted to use, when he couldn’t sleep, he remembered Theo, and Will, and Jay, his family, his wonderful, loving, steadfast family.
“There’s my boy,” Jay said whenever he came home, and Mouse didn’t say it but he loved being there for him to come home to.