Chapter Text
After meeting Ray as this goodhearted flower boy who dealt with self-hatred, you should've known things couldn't stay perfect forever. When you learned about his cleansing, whatever that actually implied, you've been furious and above all, scared as hell. You figured by now that it's some kind of drug, hearing what side effects often hurt the young hacker to the point where he's incapable of working properly. Apparently it's something you should never ever take, he said it himself. So having a random Believer give you information about Ray being cleansed, you couldn't help but worry sick.
He'd been gone for the whole following day, without a word or clue where he was or how fucking long this process took. With every hour of him being dead quiet, your heart began to sink deeper and deeper due to fear. The worse possibilities made themselves comfortable inside your brain, giving you no chance to shut your eyes. Even talking to V over the phone couldn't help you out, he's not aware of much himself. You hated how there's no way to communicate with him, if you would've known his location, you'd be there within the next hour. But sadly that's not possible. So all you could do's wait in your princess room.
Time didn't seem to pass by, but the sun outside your window slowly began to set behind the horizon, coloring the whole sky into a bright orange with red stripes. You had to agree with Ray on that, the sky's really the most beautiful nature construct. As you sat on your bed, watching some videos to kill hours of torturing silence, it scared you to death when someone knocked with way too much force on your door. Startled, you jerked on the bed, trying not to suffer an heart attack. It took you a whole, long second before finding your voice to call in whoever required your presence.
"Yeah...?" Yet nobody opened the door, they just continued knocking. You're scared for the door to give in and decided you just go up and open it instead. As you turned the doorknob, you're able to meet a face you missed more than anything else in the word. "Ray!! Oh my god, you're finally back!" The relief spread like a personal drug through your system. But quickly you noticed that something's off. Not only did he wore a black suit that looked like it came straight up from the movie Man in Black, his facial expression didn't quite meet up with the Ray you're used to either. "Took you long enough."
You fronwed a brow at him as he pushed you and the door to get inside, his nose then wrinkled in disgust after looking around the room. "He had his way with the decorations, didn't he. God, all this shit's giving me a headache." Confused as to what he's talking about, you closed the door behind him. "What do you mean? Are you alright Ray?" The man with bleached hair turned his head back to shoot you an icy glare. That look, for a second it took you back to the past, causing your lunges to catch the air. "I figured you're looking for that pathetic airhead. Well sorry to disappoint, princess. He's gone for the better." Was all he said before turning back to you.
Feeling confused and conflicted by the way your favorite flower boy acted, your voice's stuck in the back of your throat. This somehow felt familiar, but in the worse way possible. "My name's Saeran, so you better use your stupid brain and remember it well. Cause from now on, I'm the only face you'll ever see." He warned and before you knew, your back hit the wall behind you. A startled gasp fell from your lips when he's too close. Saeran even leaned in, you could take in his sent and smell. This perfume's too much, it's what most business man wore, you knew one person how always did. His minty eyes stared down at you after having you trapped.
They're now missing the excitement Ray always felt when spending time together. Like they didn't belong to him anymore. The iron hard glare chased a shower over your back. "Do you know how much you annoy me?! You're so useless and stupid, I don't understand why Ray brought someone like you in here. But then again.." Saeran took hold of your chin with force, the gesture too well known. Words like these, you heared them before. The more you thought about it, the more he resembled someone you wished to forget for most of your life. "He's an airhead just like you. Look at you! What are you capable of? Nothing. You're like a toy."
Your eyes hurt by how wide they stared up to him, the heart behind your ribs about to jump out of your chest. No. This was a nightmare. You could feel how many memories from childhood and older relationships came back up like they never healed. This way of degrading you as a person, holding himself above you. Why are you doomed to always deal with men like that. Just because your very own father lacked compassion, care and above all, love. He'd never really taken care of you, on the contrary. When you messed things up, he could become quite hard to handle. That's probably the reason for you to be drawn to men who keep you under control all the time.
Not only making you dependent like hell but also give you exactly what you wanted to have all your life. Attention. You've got some problems with that in past relationships, men who were quite the opposite of your father, but just as bad in treating you right. Saeran watched the internal conflict rush over your eyes, a sassy grin forming on his face, which looked good on him, yet you didn't want be able to take it in as it's so similar to the past people you've been dating. "Aw, what's wrong? Is the princess scared? Hahaha, I can't believe it. You're such an idot. You're gonna be my toy, but if you're fun will show later." He took hold of your shoulders with a quick movement, catching you by surprise.
As his breath hit your neck, you couldn't help but shake all over. It's true, you're overly scared. This wasn't Ray, as he'd told you himself, this was Saeran, according to his words. How did this drug managed to change him into a complete stranger? Someone who's cruel and rude. Someone too similar to others in your past. "Ah, I wonder.. You're shaking like a baby! You are scared! Why don't you try to mess with me instead?" Like he's daring you to give it a shot, all that you could do's getting a shaky hold of his wrist. "S-Saeran please.. d-don't be like them-!" You whispered the words without courage. "Please don't a-act like them.."
"Them, huh? Interesting... Did you experienced similar situations? Haha." He mocked you, causing your face to become red as a tomato. This was a nightmare you wanted to awake from, you wanted Ray to come in and tell you it's nothing but a bad dream. "Being told the truth over how useless you are, hm?" Saeran blew breath against your heated skin, hearing you whine lightly. "Who are they, toy? Tell me, I wanna know." You didn't know what to say. So instead you turned your head to make sure he couldn't see the shame covering your watery eyes.
Still able to hear him snicker, though. "If you don't answer me, things will get real ugly for you.." The pure horror, that's what's he's referring to. And you might be familiar with it to make it all just so much worse. You tried to push Saeran by the chest, the strength's so pathetic, you felt even more ashamed. "Speak, now! Don't test my patience, toy." The tears inside the corners of your eyes hurt, this scene happened before. This constellation of you being cornered happened before. "They... Are m-most of my ex.. a-and–" He cut you off with a strict voice, just as firm as the one from your childhood. "And who. Tell me."
You tried to not bite your lip bloody when doing your best in keeping composure. Saeran's so close in your space, it's hard to breath at all. You knew you're not having a choice in this, as so often. "You.. You a-act similar to my.. dad.. so stop, p-please!" The voice of yours getting torn on the edge when spilling the words. Now he knew. This was going to turn into a goddamn horror movie. Saeran made a short 'tsk' sound before grabbing your face with his hand again. "Your ex boyfriends and fucking father?! Don't tell me.." He turned your head like it's from a doll, as you're putting zero refuse into it. How could you? You've never been the one able to turn tables.
"Does the princess got daddy issues~?" He chimed the words like they're funny. Hitting the head of the nail, all of your gut twisted by the reveal. Saeran watched the defeat crawl into your posture as your body tensed both shoulders. The fear of getting him upset crawled back over evey inch of your skin, it's been a while you felt this way. Considering you tried so hard to get away from people like Saeran. But there you were again. Same position. Same problem which could cost you more than just a few injuries. "Oh my god, I'm right, aren't I." He sounded almost surprised. "Aww, poor little girl she is." The words paried with that fake pity, accusing you to be a damn baby, it caused you to cry some of the tears.
However, Saeran seemed to have a great time with your behavior, like they all did. Your father raising you to be this cowardly puppet everyone can perfectly play with, it shaped most parts of your personality. You'll never be able to get rid of it again. "Such an helpless little thing.." His breath hit the side of your neck once more, this time it let your knees become jelly when he licked over the sensitive skin. "Ah-!" It surprised you so much, the whine came out involuntarily. The way he spoke now, much different from when he first entered the room and you're overly aware why. That guy would play with your childhood issues now. Your body shook by the feeling of his tongue against your neck.
"Did the princess got treated wrong? Getting hurt for her incompetence?" Saeran's hand gave you an electric shock when it found the inside of your knee to give it a pull upwards, letting his fingers run over your leg all the way up to your tight. The contact's burning like fire, a shaky breath on your part filled the room. "Scolded at for being useless? Or did he just not care at all.. I wonder." You bit back down onto your lower lip to cut these words out, to not let them reach you in the way the usual did. But it's hard, close to impossible. Because you fell in love with Ray after arriving.
And no matter if you wanted to acknowledge or not, Saeran's just another part of Ray. They're both in the same body and probably shared a lot of the same mind. So how could you not feel things for him, even in that state? Not to mention, he's basically clouded out due to drugs. Who knew how much of this was actually serious. Regardless, it hurt to get these words thrown at your feet for the countless time. "Did they not give you enough attention? You're shivering under such simple touch." Your body flinched when he pressed his hips against yours, the feeling chasing the blush down your shoulders. "Ah! D-Don't!"
Saeran smirked against your skin, sucking right above your right ear. Your head hit the wall with a bit too much force, the tingling sensation making you cry some tears again. "Did he ever praised you, for example? Hm?" Lucky his touch helped to block out these hurtful memories for you. Saeran pulled your leg up to keep it on his waist, pressing into you and make you feel everything of him. And despite the fear and pain, it's letting the desire grow for him. That same old pattern scheme. "Calling you a good girl by doing something right for once?" Saeran required eye contact as he pushed your body all up the wall, staring to you with these stone cold eyes that seemed quite far gone from reality.
Your lower lip trembled while biting on it. Did he have to read you so easily? Was it that obvious? The smirk never disappeared from his face when pushing more of your dress up. Of course he knew what exactly's going on, otherwise it wouldn't be fun, now would it. "Good girl." You didn't expect him to actually say them so serious right into your face. The shock must've been visible as your eyes widened. "Doing so great.. Always so good to me." Saeran whispered into your ear, sending a heavy shiver down your spine. He knew he had you now. What a nightmare.
Hearing him praise you, even though it's obviously not truthful, it's just so tempting. After all, it's also Ray's voice. You wanted him to call you great. Of course you did. It's the main reason you fell in love with Ray, at least it's what you theorized. Cause he'd been the first person to compliment and praise you from the heart. And then you realized how much you craved that. How much you seeked attention and affection, it's probably very unhealthy. And now Saeran's using exactly that, you wanted to vanish into thin air and never come back. "Heh.. You seem to like that, I'm not surprised. But sadly, you're no fun at all."
He suddenly withdrew from you, leaving your body cold and empty against the wall. The young hacker with bleached hair eyed you with half lidded eyes, like he's not impressed whatsoever. "Too bad for you, you're so boring and useless! What should I praise you for if you're good-for-nothing?" He shrugged his shoulders, leaving your heart to sink. That really hurt. A new wave of tears threatened to roll over your cheeks, pressing your fist against your chest to numb down the stringing pain in your heart. Not again. Saeran watched you with a wide grin, tilting his head slightly and causing his tie to wrinkle. "What, you need that so bad? Then better start being useful to me. Who knows, maybe I'll be nice to you."
"But.. how..?" The words hard to find while rubbing your hand over your arm to cool down the goosebumps. When he started laughing as if you just told the world's most hideous joke, you couldn't help but go down onto your knees. With your fists pressed to your knees, you just sat there to wait. You've been in that position a lot in young years, whenever someone screamed at you for the mistakes you made. As he calmed down after stroking a tear away, Saeran looked down to you with an almost pitiful expression. "Ha... So willing, it's hilarious. Well, why don't you show me if you can be fun?" The tone of his leaving no room to speculate. You knew what he meant. It's not the first time that trick got played on you, after all.
Not even wanting to know how pathetic you must've looked like by seeking his eyes from beneath your eyelashes. "Will you really... Focus on me? Say nice things?" Couldn't help but make absolutely sure, Saeran rolled his eyes in annoyance before taking one of the big chairs to sit down, resting his pale face on his hand while shooting another glare at you. It made your legs trembling for a moment. "I suppose it depends~ If you do a good job entertaining me, then sure. I am a man who keeps his word." Not able to bear that stare any longer, you glued your eyes to the ground while taking hold of your black spaghetti strap. "Ok.. I'll be good." It's not fun how your heart screamed for his love, the same kind Ray had offered you.
Would he come back after some time? You hoped so. Not sure how he'll react by the shape of your body, you just took off the second spaghetti strap as well. The blush making your head spin slightly, burning you down from the inside. Knowing to have these two turquoise eyes focused on only you didn't make it any less embarrassing. At least he kept his word and only payed attention to you for now. You stood up from the floor for a moment in order to get the dress off, only to be back on your knees afterwards. Saeran never said anything, either. "Do you.. want me to take that off too?" You asked weak with your finger underneath your bra strap.
"Take it all off and we'll see how good you actually are." His voice close to being monotone on you, not sure if he did it on purpose. You swallowed the bitter taste on your tongue before getting rid of your bra as well. The moment it fell off your upper body, you lowered your head enough to avoid seeing any of his face. In silence you continued, lifting your butt from the ground to also get the panties away. As you're completely bare, you pressed both fists back to your knees. Hair playing against you as it fell over your face, but for some reason, you didn't dare to move. It's an hold habit at this point.
With every second he's calm, you became more and more insecure. Are you not good enough? Not pretty enough, maybe? Would he lash out on you for being useless like he did before? The more you thought, the higher the tears behind your eyes raised again. Not sure what to do, or if he expected anything at all, you sat there while trying to be as quiet as possible. "Should–.." Your voice died in your throat the first attempt, clearing it helped to actually form the question. "Should I.. p-put my clothes b-back on..?" The lack of confidence didn't let you see his face or read his body language. You just wanted him to say something.
Preferably something nice to help you, but you figured that's not gonna happen. When you could make out the steps he took across the floor, all muscles inside your body tensed up. Would he beat you? Is he capable of doing such a thing? Presumably. "Won't you take a look at that." He said without any particular emotion. Yet a gasp left you when he took hold of you by the chin again, forcing you to look back up and see he lowered himself as well. Not on his knees, but on his tiptoes. The things his face showed didn't tell you anything at all. "The toy's not as useless as I thought~" That wasn't considered a praise, but it's definitely better than nothing.
You blinked to make sure your eyes didn't dry out, keeping them on everything in the room but his face. "Since your daddy didn't take care of you, I'll do that instead." Saeran placed his hand back onto your tight, comparably cold in contrast to your body temperature. The words twisted deep in your gut, he just scratched a wound open. It's not your first time receiving such words, anyways. "How about you thank me? After all, I'm doing his job." You fumbled with your vocal cords for a short moment before finding the ability to speak. "Thank you, Saeran.." You squeezed it out, to your luck it seemed to be enough to satisfy him.
"There you go. Good girl." The words shouldn't have let your chest swelling up with warmth that quickly, but there's no use in denying. Saeran took hold of both your thighs, scratching over your soft skin with his nails. "You like that? Being called good? What would you do just to hear me say that to you, hm?" His hands wandered up over your waist then, eyes glued to the color contrast it created after leaving slight red lines with his nails. "I-I don't know.. Whatever you want, I g-guess.." Not sure how true that was, considering you didn't know what he's capable of. "Nice answer. Why don't you prove them now, princess?"
Saeran stood back up to his feet, waving his index finger at you. "Get up." And you obeyed immediately, you stood up and thanked God to be able to stretch your legs. "Come here." Again, you did as he said, a bit more hesitant now that you're sitting on his lap. Him being fully clothed with your naked body on his, it let you feel even smaller than you already were. The young hacker hummed before storking through your hair, the contact send brand new butterflies down your stomach. "Pretty when you sit on my lap like that." Your back ached slightly by his hand flat on your lower back. The compliment made you whine.
"Let's not play around too long. I still got work to finish, and that's more important than this." You nodded and lowered your head to pull the zipper of his pants down, you felt a bit more proud to see he's already hard. He didn't help you much, but you managed to get them off to knee level. Same with his boxers, you carefully took them off enough to let his erection come out. Your breath catched in your throat, it's been a while you had sex. It somehow scared you. "Heh.. That's gonna be fun." Before you could say anything, he attacked your skin with new hickeys, causing you to cry out louder than you pleased.
Your body tried to get away by reflex, but Saeran didn't let you come further when he bit into the crook of your neck. One hand holding you against him by digging his nails into your butt with the other cupping your breasts roughly. "Hm-!" All of it at once, you already abandoned better judgement by how overwhelming it was. "Hah– ngh.. S-Saeran!" Your voice's high in your own ears, pressing both hands onto his shoulders when he pinched your nipple. With his teeth sinking into one of your sensitive spots, your head fell down onto his shoulder. This went from zero to hundred real quick, your brain's not able to catch up as it should have.
Tears welled up with his rough work, it's almost too much to bear. But you're gonna take it regardless, he said he would give you all his focus. Tell you nice things. You wanted that more than anything else. "Sae.. Saeran.." You trembled in his lap after he let his hand wander from your breast down your stomach. Knowing where he's heating made you grab the hair on his neck. When he took his mouth away from one of the many blue bruises, you could feel how wet the spot was due to his tongue constantly licking over it. "You like it, princess? Do you like me touching you this way?" Not sure if he's mocking you again or not, you nodded.
Saeran growled right beside your ear, having your knees give out. "Use your voice, airhead." While he pressed two fingers against your clit to use pressure, the tears inside rolled over your face from the sudden arousal. "Ah! Hah-.. Y-Yeah, I like i-it.." Your shoulders tensed up when he rubbed them in a circling motion and faster pace, making you see pretty colors for a moment. A silent moan falling from your lips. "Of course you do, such a pretty little thing.. Aren't you." These words made you move against his fingers, feeling one run down to push against your entrance.
"Loving it when I fuck her. You wanted that the whole time, didn't you." Saeran chuckled shortly when you nodded again, eyes closed to not lose it all right away. "Such a good girl, wanting me so badly. Like a whore." The grip on his body shook when he positioned himself with the free hand to tease you. His tip pressing against your entrance. The words send a shiver and then a cold shower down your spine. Because in reality you're not a whore, Saeran probably knew that as well. You're just desperate for his affection. "Tell me if you want me."
You tried to push yourself down, but the young hacker kept you in agonizing foreplay. "I... I wa- want you.. Please, Saeran..?" Hearing him curse under his breath's much more attractive than it had to be. "Damn right you do. Let me take care of you then." All of your lower body trembled from him entering you. He pushed himself inside and it went all way too fast, it burned to the point where you thought he's going to actually hurt you. "Saeran!! Slower.. Please, s-slow down–" But he cut you off right away. "So you want me to neglect you instead?" Your head snapped back up from his shoulder, meeting an amused pair of mint eyes that's covered in obvious lust.
You swallowed hard by the imagination. Would he disappear like Ray did, with the difference he'd chosen to leave you lonely? You shook your head powerless. "N-No.." His hand went over your back again, and for a brief moment you're under the illusion he's trying to comfort you. Silly wish to have. "Then calm the fuck down." It's an order and you tried with all willpower to do as he said. It took a moment for the pain to vanish, but when he's all the way inside, you felt full and warm. Your heart started to beat faster by the thought of him sharing this with you, despite his true motivs. You could think about them later, right now you just wanted him to take care of you.
"Jeez, you're tight.." Another spark of pride filled your system by how amazed he sounded. You carefully rolled your hips to test the feeling, both of you ended up gasping. "Sae–" He interrupted you once more, without words this time. Instead he took hold of your hips to pull you up and bring you back down. "Ah shit!!" You moaned when he did it again with more strength, forehead falling back onto his shoulder. "Oh god.." You hissed through your teeth after finding a rhythm that's a bit too fast for you, but still feeling so so good. Saeran groaned beside your ear, chasing goosebumps all the way down your arms. "Damn that feels good.."
He sadly didn't let you see his face, he quickly pushed yours back against his neck. When you let go of him with one hand to bring yourself more pleasure, use your own hand for it, he stopped you. "No." He panted into your air, taking your hand to the arm of the chair instead. A needy whine left you before Saeran hushed you. And somehow that sound's getting you closer to your peek. "P-Please Saeran... Let m-me.." You didn't have the courage to finish the sentence. But he just shook his head, hearing you choke on air when hitting the right spot. A grin clearly audible. "You want to b-be a good girl, right? So do what I say."
Your whole body shivered, knowing he's now hitting your g-spot again and again with his rapid trusts. Tears from the overwhelming pleasure blurring your vision, the way he made you feel's incredible. "I am! I'm a-a good girl.. You- You said that too- ah.." Saeran made you moan by trapping your wrist in his own hand to use pressure on it, normally a warning but at the moment just adding oil to the fire. "I can always change my m-mind, princess. So be good and keep your h-hands to yourself." He didn't miss the whine of frustration, licking over your ear to catch you off guard.
"Instead.. Let me tell you h-how fucking good you feel. Isn't that what you wanted?" The sweat that ran down your spine cooled down quickly to mess with your body temperature, nodding when the words made you meet his trust a little harder. Saeran's breath hitched by the feeling and digged his fingertips into your waist again. "So tight and wet.. D-Doing so good for me, don't you?" Before either of you could do something, you nodded. "Y-Yeah.. I t-try.." You really wanted to see his facial expression, but he didn't let you, what a shame. His trust became even harder, he must've gotten close himself. It made you feel like you're about to explode from the desire in your body.
He hummed low, making you whimper in response. "Damn.. You're so cute and lovely looking. So pretty, aren't you, princess." Your legs started to shake again from getting close, he really got you there just due to his praise. How hot albeit embarrassing. "Little thing.." Saeran purred into your ear, both of you getting so close, you could tell by how sloppy his trust were, his cock twitching inside of you, adding another wave of heat to crash down your veins. "Cute little doll.. Such a sweet girl. So perfect." You're tearing up for the hundredth time by all that affection, by the words Ray once told you in a similar way. "F-Fuck, Saeran.. Saeran don't stop– ah-!"
"I'm gonna k-keep you forever.. You hear me? You're mine." That's enough to send you over the edge. The orgasm hit you like a outburst of lava, releasing shock after shock of pleasure through your lower abdomen. It never felt this good before. "Hah- Fuck.." As you tightened around Saeran, his own rhythm started to stutter when he came shortly after you. A tired whine fell from your mouth when he came inside you, you definitely had to take care of that afterwards. Both of you gasped for air, trying to come down from this blissful feeling of satisfaction. You've never loved to have sex so much, but Saeran's words had made it perfect.
After finding most of his judgement, the young hacker gave you a push by the upper arm. Finally, after an eternity he let you see his face again. And you swore, you fell in love with him all over again. Mint eyes brighter than ever before after releasing some stress due to your act, hair stuck to his forehead and red colored cheeks as lips giving him some life back. He's so beautiful looking, healthy looking. It made your heart bleed out for him, happy to see he's feeling better. But as you tried to cup his cheeks, he catched your hands first. "Don't even.. think about it." Ignoring the disappointment in your chest, you got up from his lap in order to pick your clothes back up. You needed a shower now.
After putting on underwear and shirt again, you turned your head back to Saeran. Who's also fixing himself up, probably so the Believers wouldn't be able to tell what you two just did. Words lay on your tongue, yet it took lots of courage to set them into the room. "You liked it..? Did.. Did I do it right?" You asked with fear wavering inside that question. Saeran fixed his pants up, not paying much attention to you now. This was to be expected. You knew what he'd said to you wasn't true, it was just to get you over the edge quicker. Although you're aware, you felt happy when recalling them. He said you're good. He called you lovely. He called you perfect, even. But above all, the one thing you cherished the most. He called you his.
"Not bad for a toy, I'd say." Saeran finally answered, tugging his suit right before lifting his hand in a loosen manner, acting like it had not been the world. Which might be the case for him. To you, it was. You didn't meet his eyes, pressing your legs together to prevent the thick liquid from running down your thighs. "Can we do that again? Sometime? Maybe?" Your asked with an hopeful tone. Hoping to have him close like that again. To have him call you his again. The thought alone let you blush a slight shade of pink. "If I ever need to, that's the only thing you're good for anyways." Even though that narrowed your throat, you appreciated him saying he'll do that with you another time.
"Okay... Thank you. Have a.. good day and please don't overwork yourself." You smiled up to him, Saeran saw the gesture, but he didn't return it. Instead he tore his head away, was he blushing as well? You're probably imagining it. "Whatever, don't tell me what to do, toy. Just stay put and don't cause me trouble." He warned you, taking steps to leave the room. Your vision found the pink floor, pressing your pants against your chest. Ray would come back someday. Or if not, Saeran would be able to like you as well. You did everything to believe that. Because by hoping it, things were much less painful.
But at the same time, it's something that's not impossible, either. Your gut feeling told you he'll come back to you. Come back to love you right. Ray's there, deep down buried underneath that layer of elexir. Saeran would have it out of his system enough to recognize you one day. All you had to do was having faith. Even if it never had once played out in your favor, with him, you're sure it will work out. "I won't, don't worry. Thank you for coming over and spending time with me, Saeran."