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This was such a bad idea, but that had never stopped Sirius before, and it wasn't going to stop him now. James had asked for his help, and Sirius was helpless to do anything but promise that he would do his best.
Granted, he would've been a lot happier to help if it hadn't been acting as James's boyfriend as they went to Lily and Remus's wedding.
Sirius was a nice guy and all, but after he agreed to help, he had to ask, "Why do you need a date at all? We were both invited. It's not like you have to sneak me in."
"The last time I saw either of them, I was being a massive prick because Lily had broken up with me."
"I remember," Sirius said. Mostly he remembered because he'd thought it was funny, at the time. Then, when it had become clear that Remus wasn't planning on talking to them anymore because of it, he'd felt a little bad. Not that they'd stayed best mates after leaving Hogwarts, but they used to meet up every few months.
"I just want to let both of them know that I'm not going to make a scene."
"I don't think they would've invited you if they thought that was going to happen," Sirius said.
"If you don't want to pretend that we're dating-"
"I'm fine with it," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "I was just pointing out that I don't think it's necessary."
"I think it's very necessary."
"Whatever you say, love." Disaster. This was going to be a complete and utter disaster.
Sirius should be smart and tell Remus ahead of time that it was fake so that he wouldn't say anything incriminating, but if James wanted him to pretend that they were dating, then that's what he would do.
Dumb. Idiotic. Stupendously moronic. These were all words to describe Sirius in this moment, and his only comfort was that it was James's stupid idea for this in the first place.
"I'm glad you two finally got together," Professor McGonagall said.
James's arm around Sirius tightened. "Right."
"How long have you been dating?" she asked, and it should've been a perfectly innocent question. They were at a wedding, presenting themselves as being in a serious relationship. These were the sort of questions people asked couples attending a wedding together. Sirius knew this, but given the way James's arm tightened even more, he figured that James hadn't known.
"The lines are a bit blurry," Sirius said with a smile. "You might as well ask if the phoenix came before or after the flame."
Professor McGonagall laughed, which covered the sharp inhale from James. They kept talking, exchanging idle conversation about her new students and their jobs for a couple minutes before they parted ways.
"You need to calm down," Sirius muttered to him.
"I'm perfectly calm," he said, but his jaw was tight and he looked like a pat on the back would shatter him.
Sirius only snorted. "Let's get you something to drink. That'll loosen you up."
An hour and too many drinks later, Sirius wondered if he should cut James off. It's not like he was an alcoholic, but he was pounding back drinks like it was going out of style.
Lily walked up to them as Sirius was debating whether or not he could get away with switching his glass (champagne) with James's (whiskey). They'd said hello to her when they walked in, but she was too busy making the rounds before this to really talk. Not that Sirius knew what they'd talk about. He'd never really gotten on with her, in spite of her dating James for over a year; he'd had plenty of time to get used to her, but he hadn't. "Hi, Sirius," she said with a smile. It was a cliche, but she was definitely glowing with happiness. "James."
James turned to look at her, then his eyes went wide and he swallowed thickly as he saw who he was face to face with. "Erm. Hey Lils. Lily. You look- erm, I mean-"
Sirius switched their glasses.
"It's good to see you- not that- er. Congratulations," James finished weakly.
"Thanks," Lily said, ignoring his stuttering. "I'm glad you two finally worked things out."
"Finally?" James asked.
"Yeah, I know that- actually, it's not my business," she said.
Sirius was very grateful that she wasn't going to get into it, and he was about to thank her aloud when James ruined it.
"No, what do you mean?"
Lily glanced at Sirius, who tried to give her a look to convey how much he would appreciate her not saying a word.
He wasn't sure it came across.
"I might be reading too much into it. It's not like I was ever very close with Sirius, and god knows I never knew what was going on in your head."
"Lily," James said slowly, "what are you talking about?"
"Just that you two have always been close. When we were dating, sometimes I felt like the odd one out."
"Sorry about that," Sirius said, because it had been a touch purposeful on his part.
She gave a small shrug, smiling again. "It all worked out in the end."
Sirius tried to focus on the conversation, asking how Remus had proposed and what they had planned for their honeymoon, but he couldn't help but keep an eye on James, who was staying horrifically silent. He noticed too late that James had stolen his drink back.
Eventually, Lily walked away to rescue Remus from a conversation with her sister, leaving James and Sirius alone again.
"Okay, that's enough," Sirius said, snatching James's glass from him. It was almost empty, but he wasn't going to risk it. "We're calling it a night."
"Fine," James said petulantly. He got to his feet, then wobbled.
Sirius put an arm around his waist to steady him and steered them towards the lift. "One foot in front of the other, love."
"I know how to walk," he muttered.
"How comforting. Do you also know how not to drink yourself into a stupor?"
"I'm not that drunk."
"I respectfully disagree."
"Respectfully?" James repeated with a laugh.
"Would you prefer disrespectful disagreement?"
"Sure. It'll make this feel more normal."
"As you wish, love.” Pause. “You're a sodding idiot. I can't believe I'm having to haul your arse around like we're eighteen again."
"It doesn't count as disrespectful if your voice still sounds like that."
"Like what?" Sirius asked.
"Like you love me."
"Use your imagination for that part."
James snorted, and they kept walking. It was slow going, mostly because James was trying to pretend he wasn't as drunk as he was. They made it into the lift, and James leaned heavily against him. "Maybe I did have a bit much."
"Maybe," Sirius agreed.
By the time the doors opened onto their floor, James had turned morose. It's how he always got when he got pissed instead of staying at buzzed, and Sirius was impressed that it had taken him this long to have his mood turn. Not that he'd been particularly happy before.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
"What for?"
"That you have to take care of me."
"Don't be, I don't mind."
"You should."
"And why's that?" Sirius asked.
"Because it's-" he paused as he stumbled over his toes "-bloody rotten work."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is."
"Not to me," Sirius said.
"It should be. Why would you want to take care of me?"
"Because it's you," Sirius said softly, knowing that James wouldn't remember this well enough come morning to figure out what he meant by it. "Nothing rotten about that, love."
One of these days, James was going to know that when Sirius called him 'love', he meant it exactly as it sounded. It wasn't going to be tonight though, so he kept helping James to their room. They'd done this song and dance too many times for Sirius to feel weird about it. If James needed help getting undressed, he'd help him. He knew how to keep from staring, so he wouldn't feel like he was taking advantage of the situation or summat. He'd get James to drink some water, and in the morning, James would thank him for the help and nothing would change.
It had been years, and nothing had changed between them.
Despite the countless comments they'd gotten today about people saying 'finally' or 'always knew you were together', Sirius knew that the chances of it happening were slim.
The rest of their stay at the hotel for the wedding passed without incident. It was the wedding day, and then the day after everyone was leaving. The day of the wedding, people were busy thinking about Lily and Remus, so people stopped commenting on the relationship between James and Sirius. It was a relief, but the sad fact was that all the people here that weren't family, they all knew from Hogwarts. They all knew Sirius and James, and the next time they saw any of them, they'd probably have to explain that they weren't dating anymore. It would be years before Sirius had to have that conversation with anyone, but he was already dreading it.
They packed their bags, checked out of the hotel, and headed home. Home was a flat they shared and had been sharing for the past five years. Sirius dreamt, sometimes, of them moving into a different flat, one that only had one bedroom because what would they need with a second one?
"Did we talk?" James asked, frowning. "When I was drunk?"
"We talked some, but nothing important. Why?"
"I thought... nevermind."
"Okay," Sirius said easily.
There was a minute or two of silence as they walked up the stairs to their flat and unlocked the door. Once the front door was closed, James asked, "Do you think that'll ever be us?"
"What will?"
"The big white wedding. Or- y'know, any wedding."
"I hope so," Sirius said.
"Really?"
"Well yeah." Sirius wasn't terrified of being alone or summat-- well, maybe a little bit-- but he'd like to have that kind of relationship some day. Something with that much trust and being intertwined in each other's lives the way Lily and Remus now were.
When Sirius turned around, James kissed him. Full on. Hands on either side of his face and leaning close like he wanted nothing more than to seep into his soul.
It took a couple days for Sirius to replay the conversation in his head and figure out that what he'd answered hadn't really been what James was asking. His answer was the same, no matter what, but he really hadn't thought that when James asked 'Do you think that'll be us?' he'd meant specifically the two of them together.
He sure as hell wasn't going to complain.