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James paced back and forth across the dormitory, pulling on his hair nervously.
"You've got to calm down, mate," Sirius said. He was the only other person in the dormitory in that moment, since Moony and Wormtail had done the smart thing and run off when James announced that he and Lily were going on a date tonight. Sirius, as the best mate, stuck around to be helpful. Also because he would need to tease him about this later, when they were married or summat, and it would make a funny story. Sirius's stomach turned at the thought, but there was nothing he could do about that.
"I can't be calm."
"Why? Being this nervous about the first date, I understood. The second date you were more like yourself, and now you're all nervous again? What gives?"
"It's the third date!"
"Er, yes, I'm aware. I can count." Sirius was pretty sure he was the third most involved person in their relationship. He knew where they were going, and what they were doing tonight. Hell, he wasn't sure if Lily knew both of those, which would make him the second most knowledgeable in the relationship, which just wasn't right. For this, he blamed James. Bloody James and his fluffy hair and his perfect smile and his brilliant laugh. Sirius never would've been this involved in Wormtail or Moony's love lives. If they had any. "So?"
"The third date is supposed to be a landmark!"
"Of what? You've only been on three dates. You haven't gone anywhere important in the relationship yet."
"That's the point," James said, leveling a look in his direction. He was a little wild around the edges, not that that was surprising with all the other signs of panic he was giving off.
"I'm lost," Sirius admitted. It didn't happen often with James, but when it did, he needed it spelled out for him in the simplest words possible.
"The third date is when you're allowed to start being physical. What if she expects for me to kiss her? I don't know how to snog someone! I've never even kissed someone before. What if I'm bollocks at it? She'll dump me for sure and then I'll be a miserable wretch for the rest of my life."
And people called Sirius dramatic. "If you're so worried, then practice first." He may not be the most dramatic of the Marauders, but he was definitely the dumbest. Honestly. Record breaking levels of stupidity in his brain, showing up at this very moment.
"Practice what?"
"Kissing."
"How the sodding hell am I supposed to do that?"
Sirius raised an eyebrow, then gave a little wave of his hand as if to say 'hi, I'm right here'. It took a second, but he could see the moment that James understood what he meant.
This could go a few different ways. If James said yes, then they would snog a bit, and he'd feel better about going off on his date with Lily. If James said yes, then they would kiss, and he'd say 'Well that didn't help at all because you're not a bird, now are you?'. If James said no, then he'd go back to being nervous, and Sirius would have to think of a different way to get him to calm down because at this rate, he was going to be too tired to actually go on a date in a couple hours. If James said no and wondered what was wrong with him that he'd ever think to suggest that, then he'd leave and Sirius would lose his best mate.
Alright so the last one wasn't very likely, but the other three were pretty realistic choices, and none of them made Sirius very happy. Given the choice between kissing James this one time tonight and never getting to kiss him ever, he would choose the first option. That didn't mean he would be over the moon about it. If James said yes and kissed him, Sirius would enjoy it very very much while it was happening, and then he would take those moments and roll it over and over in his mind until they stopped feeling good and started feeling like something was rotting in him. But hey, that wouldn't happen for a while, and he'd enjoy that ride down to the fullest. When it inevitably crashed and burned, nobody would think twice about Sirius being a mess. He did it every few months, whether he had actually done something to earn it or not.
Him and James were looking at each other still. Sirius, waiting. James, thinking. At least, Sirius hoped that he was thinking, otherwise it meant he was staring blankly, and that wasn't going to go anywhere, so Sirius would have to ask again. He'd like to not have to ask again, if at all possible, thanks.
"Is that a genuine offer?" James blurted. "Because if it is, hell yes. That would be amazing."
"Alright, come here," Sirius said, affecting casualness that he didn't feel.
James practically stumbled over his feet walking over to him, and Sirius would've loved to think that it was because James was that excited for the chance to kiss him, but he knew that he was shaky from nerves and that's all it was: nerves for his date with Lily. Because that's what this was. How to make James better for his relationship with Lily. It wasn't about Sirius. He knew that, no matter how much he wished that James was hopping on this opportunity the same way that Sirius was.
The first press of their mouths together was dry, lips pressed shut, and hesitant. James was nervous because it was his first kiss, and Sirius wasn't sure he could kiss James properly without giving himself away.
He'd probably stop holding himself back in like twenty seconds.
James pushed closer.
"Hey," Sirius said, putting his hands on either side of James's face. "Okay, first, remember that you have to breathe. Quick pecks are your friend in the beginning. Don't try and do too much." He was pretending like this was just a lesson, right? So he might as well go all in.
"Right," James said, giving a determined nod. He leaned in again, and it was better this time. A lot better. Good enough that Sirius wanted to push for more.
"That's probably good for this date," Sirius said, leaning back onto his hands.
"But what about after this date?" James asked. "There's going to be more kisses and- and snogging, and I don't know how to do that. C'mon, we're already here, we might as well keep going."
Goodbye self-control, no one's sad to see you go, especially Sirius.
While James was on his date, Sirius spelled his curtains closed and wanked to the thought of all the kisses they'd shared on his bed. They'd been sat right here where he was laid out now, and it was easy to turn what they'd actually into a fantasy. They'd started kissing, and James had pushed closer and closer until he was in Sirius's lap. In real life, James's alarm that he'd set for his date had gone off, and Sirius had helped him finish getting ready-- and look like he hadn't spent the last however-long-it-had-been snogging someone. In his fantasy, it was easy to pretend that they weren't interrupted, and James kept pushing until he was laying on top of Sirius. He stayed, and they started moving against each other, and James was desperate to get his hands on Sirius.
James stayed, and he forgot all about his date with Lily.
Sirius rode the high of that for a while. Long enough that he was able to fall asleep happy.
"Hey, mate, how was your da-" Sirius stopped short when James pushed him back down on the bed and pulled the curtain closed. "Erm, I'm sure my advice wasn't that bad," he quipped.
"Shut it," James snapped.
Sirius took a look at him. He looked tired, like he hadn't been able to get any sleep last night. Or if he had, it hadn't been very restful. He was still in his sleep clothes.
James ran a hand through his hair, and he didn't have his glasses on, which meant that he was liable to bump into a million things until he put them on. Normally, it was the first thing he did. Sirius didn't know what made today different. Maybe his date had gone really poorly. As much as Sirius would like to feel happy about that, he wasn't; he knew how much James had been looking forward to not just this date, but dating Lily in general.
"You alright?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know what's wrong with me," James said, and he got even more worried.
"What is it?" He leaned forward a little to listen and put a hand on James's knee to show that he was here for him, only James jerked away. Sirius pulled back, blinking. "Er."
"I couldn't stop thinking about you." He continued before Sirius had a chance to reply, or even digest that. "Last night. I was on a date with Lily, and it should've been bleeding amazing, but all I could think about was you. I almost ran out on her just so I could come back here and see if you'd kiss me more."
Sirius's mouth went dry. Merlin, was this a dream? Because it was a brilliant one, if it was.
"I mean, I didn't, but I did break up with her, and then when I got back to talk to you, you were already asleep. I... Merlin, Sirius, I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Sirius yanked him close and kissed him for all he was worth.
James kissed him back just as desperately. It wasn't a dream, but it was perfect like one.