Work Text:
Claire never wanted to start a school wide poll about her favorite teachers. But with Krissy and Alex not agreeing with her… what’s a girl to do?
A common occurrence- Mr. Milton has walked into their class, yet again, to ask Mr. Winchester something. His excuse this time was, “do you think I could borrow some ExpoMarkers?”
Claire grins at the two talking; the rest of the class knows the drill by now. When Mr. Milton comes in, they will have at least 5 minutes of free time to pull out their phones and talk to their friends. Claire’s just happy that both of her best friends are in her class, so she doesn’t have to worry about busying herself on her phone each time. Instead she sends a knowing smirk to both girls and crosses her arms.
“Stop, oh my god! They aren’t in love!” Alex says, smiling at Claire, despite her quiet outburst coming across as angry.
“Are you kidding? Watch his eyes, Alex. They’re totally focusing on his lips every other two seconds.” Claire points discreetly and turns back to facing her friends.
“Yeah because they’re boning. They aren’t in love with each other. They are hardly sending heart eyes, it’s just ‘fuck me’ eyes. Totally different,” Alex argues back.
“That's not different, that can be included in their relationship,” Claire huffs.
“Jeez. Both of you. You're both way off. They’re just friends.”
Alex and Claire both look at one another and roll their eyes, “yeah, how would you know, Krissy?” Krissy laughs and watches as Mr. Winchester pulls out a package of expo markers, handing Mr. Milton another one.
“They’re both straight. I heard them both talking about wanting to get together with Ms. Bradbury.”
Claire scoffs, “she’s gay, too. Obviously.”
Alex ponders her statement, “I mean... I don’t know. But she could be.”
Krissy shakes her head. “Nah- don’t think so. I think Mr. Lafitte is gay, though.”
Claire gasps, “seriously you two? Ms. Bradbury is the head of GSA! And she got both of those love birds to sign as supporters for the club. It’s so obvious!” Claire exasperates and shakes her hands in an attempt to clear things up for her two friends. “Also, Mr. Lafitte is married to a woman.”
Krissy shrugs, “he could have a homosexual beard.”
Alex snorts, “that’s not what it's called. It’s just a beard.”
The three laugh and Claire wags her pen at them and writes three columns on a piece of paper. At the top reads “Cast Your Vote: what’s up with Mr. W and Mr. M” with three sections split below. Their titles being: Totz in Love, Fuck Buddies, and Friendzone. This makes Krissy and Alex both snicker and they each leave a mark on their chosen opinion. Dean glances over at the three girls who are whispering in the corner and sends them an ‘i'm watching you’ point with his finger. Alex blushes and quickly takes the paper from Claire. “Ok, we can’t let them see this! We’d be in so much trouble. But we all need an answer so we can stop arguing about this. I say we ask people at lunch. That way no one can take it away for disrupting class. We tally the vote after lunch and the verdict is what we agree on here on out.”
Krissy gives a thumbs up and Claire gives her best sneaky smile. Lunch it is.
Mr. Milton makes a joke that leaves Mr. Winchester cackling and swatting at his arm, “oh you get outta here, man. Shoo now.” Mr. Winchester turns back to the class and claps his hands loudly. “Before being rudely interrupted for expo markers;” he yells loud enough for Mr. Milton to hear on his way out, “we were going to start our presentations. Claire, Alex, Krissy? Get on up here and blow me away with some Audre Lorde research.”
****
During lunch the three girls spend the first eight minutes scarfing down as much food as they can, so they can carry out their mission. They make it to nearly every table before lunch is over. They write down each student's name so they don’t face getting multiples from the same person. Josephine and Aiden are the first to record responses. Krissy spins her hair on her fingers while talking to Aiden, who agrees they are just friends. He argues that Mr. Milton is definitely gay but there is no way Mr. W is anything but straight. Josephine rolls her eyes and fist bumps Claire because, “their chemistry alone can answer this question.”
Alex asks Henry and his group of jock friends and nearly all respond with friendzone. A few marking their replies in the ‘fuck buddies’ column. But judging by their crude remarks, they mostly did it to laugh and show off. Their efforts clearly weren’t impressive and Alex rolls her eyes and moves on quickly to a new group.
Claire goes to the GSA table and Max and Stacy are blushing and holding hands. They both look at each other and say their opinion. They agree that they are totz in love and happily write their responses down. Eliot; after a long battle of asking questions and thinking of scenarios, also chooses the same.
The Banes twins argue over their results, Max thinking fuck buddies and Alicia thinking friends.
They miss three tables at the end of lunch but have over 40 casted votes.
Krissy gasps at her phone flashing as each notification starts rolling in. Someone saved the poll and posted it on their private senior class Facebook page. Claire huffs in annoyance at the other person stealing their survey and posting it online, but Alex changes her mind when she grins saying, “at least no one will think it’s us if this person has it online. And now we can record the data for longer.” Claire gets on board but they agree to continue writing down the names of voters and what they are voting for.
It is their project, after all.
****
Claire isn’t sure what happened but Mr. Miltons daily visits to their fourth period class have been lacking. He always would show up within the first ten minutes of class each day and asks their teacher for some useless teaching item. Like the man doesn’t have enough expo markers, pencils, and rulers in his own art room. Now she has only seen him stop in once in the past week and that was to give their teacher an “appreciation letter” from their principal Roman. She hopes his lack of appearance is not because of the survey. But how could that possibly have reached the teachers eyes? The group is locked to only senior students and no one is dumb enough to accept a teacher into the group. She also has noticed Ms. Bradbury stopping in a lot more. She gives their teacher flashcards and sticky notes and winks at him and makes him laugh. She also swears she saw Ms. B slip a note to him, making his ears turn bright red.
Maybe Claire was wrong. Her gaydar is so so broken. It’s not like she has told anyone about her sexuality. She has been harboring a giant crush on Alex since she first met her. But Alex never shows interest in her so she assumed it was a no go. And not that Alex is homophobic- but what if she gets weirded out that her best friend is into girls? Why ruin a great friendship.
Claire talks to Max a lot. And Max always talks about how she knew Stacy was gay when they first talked. She said she knows if most people are based on observation. Claire was so sure that her observations were spot on. But now Ms. Bradbury might not be a lesbian; like assumed, and her favorite dorky English teacher is not smitten over Mr. Milton the art teacher. She must have been way off.
Alex snaps Claire out of her spiraling panic as she slumps into her chair and groans. “Did you hear? Becky fucking Rosen was blabbing about the poll to Mr. Lafitte. She seriously said, ‘they’re only friends right? I thought it would be you coupled with Mr. Winchester.”
Claire sits up quickly and her face pales. “What happened? Do you know what he said?”
Krissy comes into class late. She plops into the chair and sighs. “Mr. W and Mr. Lafitte are talking in the hall. Did you hear what Becky did!”
Alex eyes the door and continues whispering just in case either of the teachers walk in. “Mr. Lafitte just asked why she was asking about it and she said she wanted to check the answer from the source before voting. She even said her friends all thought it was Mr. W and Ms. Bradbury screwing. Fucking stupid! She’s gonna ruin it all.”
Claire bites her lip, “oh god. What if Mr. W finds out it was us? We were the ones who asked her to vote originally. She said she didn’t want to participate so we moved on but… oh god. She can’t keep a secret.”
Krissy pretends to get up to sharpen her pencil at their teachers desk but instead is stretching her neck to see the hall scene unfold. She scurries back to her desk and gasps, “he’s out there with Lafitte, Bradbury and Milton!” The three of them gulp and stare at each other in alarm.
Their teacher walks in, smiling wide like nothing happened and greets all the students with his typical charming smile. “How’s everyone’s day going?” No one says anything. The entire class is holding their breath. Obviously, the news traveled fast- that Becky can’t keep her mouth shut. “Well my day has been… let’s just say it’s been an awakening.” He smirks, “did you guys know, I’m currently romantically seeing Mr. Lafitte?” He yells out, “hey, Benny! Wanna come explain to the kiddos our love story?” Benny strolls in and pulls him into a side hug, he’s trying his best to bat his eyes but his lip twitches from holding in a laugh. Dean grins. “Let’s talk about teachers. Something about teachers that a lot of us don’t realize is that we actually have our own lives outside of school. Crazy right?” He brushes shoulders with Benny and goes on, “so, as a lot of you are unaware, Benny has been married to my good friend Lisa for seven years. But obviously, what we,” he points out between Benny and himself, “what we have, it was too real. Marriages be damned!”
Everyone is trying to determine if he’s being serious or spewing a bunch of bullshit. He begins to lose people when he yells out again, “hey, Charlie Bear?”
Charlie walks in and curtsies, “hey, handmaiden.”
Dean grins, “I also thought it was in common interest that I tell you I just can’t seem to keep away from Ms. Bradbury. I don’t know what drew me in… her lack of availability for dating or her raging lesbianism. But fuck! We make each other so happy.”
Mouths drop open like fish at his swearing and very open announcement that Ms. B is in fact gay. But just as fast as mouths drop open, they close just as quickly so he doesn’t call anyone out on it. Dean squeezes the two of his coworkers and winks at someone in the hall, “and who could forget about my cutie, Cas. Come here, man!”
Cas strolls into the familiar room and hugs Dean and hangs off his open shoulder.
“Anyways, I didn’t even know about it until today, but I’ve been secretly in love with all of them and we’ve all been in very real and long term relationships with one another. Ain’t that crazy?” No one dares to even blink as the four teachers stare at them all. After what feels like hours; but is truly only seconds, a girl in class, Maggie, raises her hand and stammers.
“S-sir, I would be okay with you dating anyone. But y-you don’t have to tell us.”
Their teacher grins wide and pats his coworkers to get out of the class and they all take the hint and smirk leaving the door. “You sure as hell know it! As you are hopefully aware, your teachers and I have no obligation to speak about our relationships with anyone at school. Especially our students.”
Everyone nods quickly and he claps his hands, “alright, I’m in a cheerful mood today so everyone clear your desk tops and we’re going to play a fun game called pop quiz.”
The typical groan that would usually echo in the room is held in and everyone shifts around to clear their desks off.
****
When the quizzes are done, he actually lets everyone leave five minutes early. Maybe he’s trying to be nice (as he usually is) or he really just doesn’t want to be around his class. Claire can’t stand that thought. Alex and Krissy both pack up quickly and wait for Claire.
“Nah, go on without me.” Everyone has left but Claire. Her teacher is at his desk with his head in his palms. “Mr. Winchester?”
He looks up and Claire wants to disappear and back out of this but she can’t help but stay put.
“It was me, sir.”
He squints at her, “what exactly ‘was you’?”
Claire pinches her arm. Yep not a nightmare. “The survey.” She gasps a breath and then talks fast without a break, “I was arguing with friends about you and Mr. Milton and I took it too far. I just wanted to know what other people thought. I know it wasn’t my place to do that and I didn’t expect so many people to know about it, it was going to be a short one day thing but someone posted it online. So more people saw it.”
Dean nods, “what one were you?”
Claire looks shocked, “what was I?”
Dean huffs, “yeah, what was your vote?”
Claire blushes. She uses air quotes and says “totz in love.”
Her face is tomato paste red, “I don’t know. I just thought if you and Mr. Milton were in love than that meant I had good gaydar and I could be a real gay, y'know? I don’t know... that’s stupid. But gay people can sense that sorta thing- but I guess I’m not a good enough one. I mean I can’t even tell if my own friend likes girls. I think I just wished-“ she stops short. “I just let this idea get out of control and… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for people to spread rumors. I didn’t think anyone besides the kids would hear about it. But even then… I should’ve known better.” She tries to fake a smile but it looks shaky.
Mr. Winchester lets out a loud laugh. “Um wow. I think I got about half of that. But I’m very proud of you for owning up to… all of that. I am disappointed that you felt the need to interview your peers with this, but I think I can forgive you. As long as you don’t go spreading gossip and rumors again.” He chuckles watching her head bounce in agreement. “To make you feel better, not as many kids are blabbing about this as you think. But you should know better.”
Dean grins at Claire’s obvious embarrassment. “Plus that Becky can never keep her mouth shut.”
Claire laughs at his comment and he gives her another stern look. “So we learned to quit it with starting the spread of rumors, then?” Dean asks. Claire nods her head in a heavy head bang and he pulls out his lunch from his desk giving her a thumbs up. “Anything else on your mind? Or are you going to head out for your own lunch? Not that I don’t just adore this fun hour of freedom crashed by my students.”
Claire takes the hint and gets up as Mr. Milton walks in and pulls up a chair to the side of Mr. Winchester’s desk.
Claire waves goodbye and Mr. Winchester, through a mouth full of sandwich, says, “and don’t sweat the gaydar thing. I think you are just fine.”
Claire looks at her teacher and the art teacher and how close they are sitting. Her teacher's wink following is evident enough.
“And remember, I’m forgiving you for this one.” Claire smiles and turns and walks the other way.
No way she is saying anything about this to anyone. The knowledge that she was right is enough.