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Kazutora has this weird thing. Sometimes he was able to have a tingly feeling inside him when something bad was going to happen. A gut instinct probably. In his whole life, he had only felt it twice.
Even though he was a crybaby, he was quite good at hiding it. He always held his ground despite the odds. Maybe he had gotten used to it from childhood. It grew on him at some point over the years. Even so he was scared. He didn’t like fighting, and he didn’t like being alone. But even so he was able to go through them all. He was strong that way.
Then why was it that he was shaking?
I can’t remember people’s faces or names well.
I can’t hear well.
I don’t feel real.
Kazutora remembered stabbing Baji. Hanma was the one who told him to do it. He remembered being angry to the point that everything he saw was in red, the knife sinking into his body, and then darkness. He must’ve lost consciousness after that.
Baji… he betrayed me. He sided with Toman rather than falling down with me, it’s his fault. It’s all his fault.
That was how it was supposed to go wasn't it?
Yet Baji came after Kazutora. He was the first to ever offer a hand for him when Junpeke ran away; when Kazutora was at his lowest.
He created Toman when he heard that Kazutora got into a fight with the Black Dragon and fought alone.
He was the only one who stayed when everyone abandoned and turned against Kazutora.
That’s right.
Even back then—
“Why…? Why…?” Kazutora muttered.
He stared at the moving body before him, blood spilling out under his head, staining the floor. “I just wanted to do something nice for Mikey… This is all Mikey’s fault…”
Tears fell down uncontrollably.
“I’ve got to kill Mikey,” he said, gripping the wrench tighter.
Kazutora froze when Baji wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Baji had all the reasons to run away and leave him. But here he was, gently pressing Kazutora forward to cry in his shoulder. “Don’t say something… so depressing,” he cried. “No matter what hell awaits us, I’m with you ‘till the very end!”
At that moment, Kazutora felt like he was put behind a glass wall.
He became “unfeeling”.
Now tears sprang into his eyes.
...It’s always like this.
Baji, no matter what you said, you always stuck with me.
The glass that was blocking Kazutora from the world lifted and for once, he could see (feel) the blood on his hands and the pain blooming on his face. He could see Baji’s figure fighting on top of the heap of cars. Even after years he was still that brute beast.
Kazutora started to get up. I… I took… the thing most precious to me and destroyed it.
He closed his eyes.
I’m sorry Baji.
He opened them, yellow irises determined.
I’ll make it up to you somehow.
The fear in his veins were replaced with adreneline, coursing through strong. Almost, he felt unstoppable. Then Kazutora charged through the battlefield.
Being in the middle of fights was something he was very familiar with. He dodged and ducked, snaking in between people. A fist whistled by his face. He easily whacked the person aside.
At this speed he could barely make out a few feet ahead of him. Kazutora felt his whole body working; his leg muscles running warm, fresh air entered his lungs and blood flowed into all his limbs.
His calves burned, his breath forming clouds in the air. Even so as he fought, punching people in their faces, he never felt more alive before. Over the last few months, Kazutora had fought many battles, but he'd forgotten what it was like to feel good in fight. He was still afraid but it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
For the first time in years Kazutora felt whole.
Across the lot, Baji fought like a demon even with the stab wound. He was going up the cars almost too fast for a human, smacking anyone in his way with a pipe. He yelled as he threw someone off. "Come at me if you dare!" he roared.
That must have been what some guys have wanted to hear, because his opponents kept taking a step back, only to freeze as they realize, then charge back to the fight.
Kazutora fell back as someone slugged across his chest. He cursed once. Saliva collected in his mouth.
Come to think of it, Kazutora was always following Baji. Baji always had this charm that makes people want to follow him. He didn't think, he would always do it first. There was something about that was couraging.
Right now Kazutora’s face hurted. His body was heavy. His legs hurted, but for Baji, he could do it.
"Eat," he gritted his teeth, "shit!"
The Toman member screamed as they fell off when Kazutora kick him.
He did whatever he could. He socked people who tried to come after Baji.
"Fuck off!” he yelled. He jumped onto another car, grabbing someone's leg and pulling them down.
“What the hell are you trying to do!?” Chifuyu demanded when Kazutora reached the middle, kicking a Valhalla member off with a grunt. Before Kazutora could tell him to move, Chifuyu wrestled with him as Takemichi also grabbed Kazutora’s torso.
Kazutora raised his hand to get them off but stopped. He remembered hating them. Anyone with Toman — on Mikey’s side — was his enemy. However he didn’t bear any hatred towards them. Not anymore at least.
“I don’t know,” he answered.
He grabbed Chifuyu and Takemichi by their uniforms and threw them aside.
“Ugh-” Takemichi groaned, rolling on the ground.
“Fuck!” Chifuyu yelped.
Kazutora continued pummeling people with the pipe he stole.
He looked up. Baji had reached the summit and was about to attack Kisaki, hair fluttering in the wind.
Kisaki…
Kazutora remembered the first time they met at the arcade. Kisaki had promised him power and revenge. That guy was the one who talked me into doing this. He told me what I wanted wasn't in any way selfish. That I deserved better.
Kazutora clenched his fist. He was wrong after all. If Baji sees him as his enemy, that means he is my enemy too.
Ahead of him, Baji, who was about to deliver the finishing blow, suddenly fell to his knees. His legs must have given out. But Kazutora caught Baji just as he was about to.
“Wah-!?”
Blood dribbled Baji's mouth.
Kazutora slowly lowered him down.
“I’m sorry.”
Kazutora looked back at Baji with a smile. “It hurts, doesn’t it? Just stay put. Let me take care of this,” he said before facing Kisaki.
Kisaki took a wary step back.
“Tch,” he muttered.
Kazutora regarded him. Kisaki wasn’t strong at all despite being a division captain. He had seen the boy's full power. I could take him down, Kazutora thought as he cracked his knuckles and brought up the pipe. It was time to finally fix his mistakes.
Baji’s eyes widened as he spat blood out.
Ah, Kazutora thought.
He realized it.
Baji was always the one who realized what Kazutora would do.
“Tora-!”
Kazutora didn't let Baji finish as he charged straight at Kisaki. Kisaki brought his arms up and Kazutora pushed him back with the pipe, jumping off when they toppled. They went weightless for a second and everything seemed to slow down. Kazutora saw the pipe fall out of his reach.
They landed with a loud thud amidst of the other fights. Kazutora didn't waste a second. He rolled back on top of the other and started beating Kisaki with all his might.
“Die!” he yelled.
Kazutora has this weird thing. Sometimes he was able to have a tingly feeling inside him when something bad was going to happen. A gut instinct maybe. In his whole life, he had only felt it twice. When his father first hit him and his mother, and… when he and Baji were stealing the CB205T.
This time it was ringing inside his head that he should stop right now. He could still turn back, hide from his mistakes and the police. Every fiber and nerve in his body told him to run. But Kazutora was not one to listen. He kept throwing punches as if he wanted to smash Kisaki into the very earth.
His knuckles were starting to ache, but still he pushed through. Pulse beating in his ears, blocking out all other sound, sweat pouring down his forehead.
Anger.
It boiled and churned in his stomach, hot and sticky.
At who? He doesn’t know. Maybe at himself whonever once took the blame. Maybe at his father who only knew how to make his life worse. Maybe at his mother who never tried to protect him. Maybe at everything and everyone else except Baji. It was too easy to hate something, or someone.
Blood flew and the next thing Kazutora knew was that the world had turned upside down.
He grunted as he landed hard on the ground. The kick was strong enough to send him flying; the perpetrator in front of him.
Mikey was there.
The sight before him was almost the same as the time he was saved, told that his pain wasn't for him alone.
“Mikey…” Kazutora started. The words he wanted to say stuck in his throat.
“I wanted to kill you for so long…” Mikey admitted, blood trailing down his face. “As soon as you got out of juvie, I was gonna kill you. But the one who kept telling me not to was Baji.”
Baji… Kazutora’s heart dropped. Baji couldn't die yet.
“Chifuyu! Takemitchy! Apply pressure to Baji’s back with his jacket!” he yelled, scrambling to one knee. “The stab isn’t fatal! Don’t let him move! Knock him out if you must!"
He looked around frantically. "Someone, call an ambulance!”
Chifuyu didn't need to be told twice, Takemichi instantly helping him force Baji to stay down.
Baji struggled even more. “Kazutora-!”
Kazutora could only hope that Baji won't lose his blood anymore. He steadid his breath and tried to calm down.
“Baji said “Kazutora just wanted to make you happy, Mikey. That’s why he couldn’t accept it.” I shouldnt have listened to him,” Mikey mumbled as he stepped down toward Kazutora. He licked a steam of blood near his lips. “ “Even though he killed you brother, to make himself believe he wasn’t the bad guy, Kazutora had no choice but to decide you were his enemy.” That doesn't mean anything. You destroyed my life."
Kazutora nodded slowly, his gaze turning to the ground. He was paralyzed to the spot, the menacing aura from Mikey holding him in a tightening grip.
“Yes…” he admitted. “I did see you as my enemy.”
After all, who wants to be the one in the wrong?
“Finish him Mikey!” Kisaki exclaimed, squinting from either having his glasses broken or from the swelling kn his eyes. “This is your golden chance!”
“Shaddap dammit!” Baji yelled, startling several gang members. Chifuyu struggled to push him down. “Mikey! Listen to me, not him! Kazutora… he’s sorry!”
Mikey’s eyes were empty, Kazutora noticed. He was super fucking pissed.
“Haha…”
He was doomed.
Kazutora flashed another grin at Baji. “Let’s get peyoung yakisoba after I get out, okay? Like the old days. Tell me about your graduation then.” For some reason he didn't feel fear. All of them that were in his system were replaced with adrenaline.
After he said that, he turned. He started to run forward. Not at Mikey, but at Kisaki. He yelled as he pulled out a knife.
“Kisaki, you fucker!” he shouted.
10 years in juvie. It didn’t sound too bad if he could bring down Baji’s enemy.
Mikey’s eyes widened.
A loud bang.
Kisaki had a gun, nozzle raised at Kazutora.
He shot him in the leg. Everyone screamed — but stopped as soon as they saw Kazutora still standing. Grinning almost derangedly, he staggered once before running again, getting shot in the shoulder. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Mikey ending Hanma in one kick.
Kisaki realized that Kazutora might not stop and scrambled to get away. Kazutora gritted his teeth. 'Don't you dare run from me,' were what he wished to say.
He threw himself at Kisaki with a muffled curse.
In that moment of shock, the knife sunk into Kisaki’s stomach and he pushed the blade deeper.
“Revenge from me, bastard,” Kazutora grinned with difficulty.
“The fight is over!” Draken announced.
Kisaki shifted and Kazutora felt something in his stomach.
Bang!
“Really now?” Kisaki asked with as much difficulty.
It felt like a really cold punch. Then warmth from his blood bloomed, the feeling of being poked a thousand times with needles spreading on his legs.
Kazutora saw the world dim.
.
.
.
“No! Kazutora! Fuck! That bastard Kisaki- Get off of me, Chifuyu!” Baji shouted, elbowing Chifuyu in the face and Takemichi on his stomach. He audibly growled. “You’re in my way! I have to get to him!”
“You can’t, Baji-san!” Chifuyu exclaimed. "You need to stay down!"
“I said. Get. The. Fuck. Off of me!”
Baji shoved them and climbed down the cars. On the way he stumbled, nearly falling. His back was in so much pain. His eyes had trouble focusing and he wiped off the stream of sweat off his face. Everyone made way for him when he reached the ground. He knows he looked like hell, he could see it: the way his skin was pale and his hands were shaky with blood dripping everywhere.
The world seemed to be bigger than before, the sky vaster and everything just looked bigger. But all what Baji could see was Kazutora.
Gut-wrenching, heart pumping — after several steps forward his legs became tired.
Kisaki was being carried away by someone, limping. Mikey walked after them. Baji wanted to get angry at him, demand why was he following Kisaki instead. But he couldn’t speak nor chase them, exhausted from the battle, so he nearly collapsed beside Kazutora.
Kazutora’s face was chalky, yellow eyes blinking in confusion. He looked like he was in pain. Yet, his face relaxed.
"What were you thinking?" Baji cradled Kazutora’s head in his lap.
"I'm- I'm sorry," Kazutora stammered. He tried to swallow, but his lips were dry and cracked.
A cold fist closed around Baji’s heart in horror. He panicked. "No, no- damn it, it wasn't your fault," he tried to reassure, "Just stay in place. Don't move anymore, help is on the way already-"
Kazutora weakly grabbed around as if trying to search for something.
Tears threatened to spill over his eyes as Baji let Kazutora intertwine their fingers. “It’s okay, I’m right here,” he whispered. His lips trembled. "I won't let you die."
Kazutora coughed once and his whole body retched. More blood pooled under him. At first it came thick and strong, flowing through his fingers as they clasped the ripped flesh. Baji then realized Kazutora was losing too much blood.
He fumbled to take off his jacket, cursing. Wrapping it into a messy lump, he tried to apply pressure on the wound just as Chifuyu and Takemichi did. But no matter the pressure he applied the blood had still gushed between his fingers and oozed under his hand.
Baji suddenly remembered the night when he and Kazutora stole the bike. They were just kids; so stupidly thinking nothing could go wrong. And when Shinichiro laid still on the floor after Kazutora hit him with the wrench, the feeling of having no heartbeat scared Baji more than anything.
Now Kazutora was about to lose his life too.
Those moments of the fact sinking in Baji spent silently pleading Kazutora to look at him, to stay with him, feeling the very fluid of his life drain away. He prayed, and kept praying to whatever god was out there listening to him.
“Did… you win the fight?” Kazutora suddenly asked with difficulty.
His eyes fluttered.
“Did Toman win?” he added softly.
“Yeah, yeah, I did. They did. It was incredible,” Baji said, nodding.
“You should... go back. You’re not part of Valhalla anymore.”
“You too." Baji squeezed Kazutora’s hand once. "You’re coming back with me. Let’s lead the First Division together, just like we’re supposed to. I'll make it possible.”
As he spoke, Draken, Takemichi, and Chifuyu came over. Baji didn't tell them to go away nor say anything. They watched him in silence.
“Nah, you got that Chifuyu guy right? ...He’s not a bad fighter, tell him that. You picked a good guy, Baji.” Kazutora took a heavy, painful breath, forcing a smile. He didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings anymore. Baji felt like someone just yanked the world from beneath him.
“Toman founding members… are my treasure," Kazutora said fondly. "...Please forgive me. I dragged you into something... problematic.”
“Hey, you’re not dying,” Baji insisted.
“Don’t make such a sad face,” Kazutora laughed hoarsely. “It’s not that bad. It’s all my fault anyhow.”
Baji’s lips wavered. “It’s not… It really isn’t.”
“Tell… Mikey-kun that I’m sorry,” Kazutora gruggled while blinking. His eyes were fixed on the sky. “I wonder what... Shinichiro would... say. I’ve got to… say sorry. You think so too, right, Keisuke?”
“Yeah. You better, Kazutora.”
Kazutora didn’t speak again.
"Kazutora...?" Baji asked, fear seizing him. He softly shook the other.
There was no response. Kazutora’s jaw was slack and his skin was paler than Baji's. Blood continued to seep through the jacket, staining his fingers.
And that was when Baji finally broke down, knowing that he was not strong enough to keep it in. Draken lowered his head. Takemitchy gulped down a sob and Chifuyu put his hand on his shoulders. Baji wanted to scream, he wanted to fight someone, he wanted to pin the blame on whoever let it happen. But he really couldn’t. Too stunned to process it all.
In the distance, the siren of police and ambulances drew closer. Toman and Valhalla members started running away. Baji stayed though, caressing Kazutora’s bruised face still on his lap.
Time itself had become irrelevant; the seconds could have been hours, or hours mere seconds
He gently closed the eyes that seemed glad.
“Baji,” Mikey gently pressed.
“I wasn’t lying, you know? He wanted to say sorry to you,” Baji said, absentmindedly wondering how long Mikey had been there.
Tears continued streaming down his face.
“Please,” he pleaded and looked up. “Just until the cops come. Let me accompany him one last time… okay?”
Mikey had an unreadable expression on his face as he nodded and turned away.
But still Baji couldn’t bear letting go of Kazutora. He had clung on to his lifeless body even when the paramedics came. It took two tries with a taser and ten police officers before they finally pried him off and knocked him out with sedative. When he was put inside the ambulance, he begged them to at least hold the funeral after he was better.
“Kazutora’s mother won’t be able to believe it. I need to face her,” Baji said with no room for argument.
October 31st 2005.
Tokyo Manji gang’s 150 versus Valhalla’s 300.
The victor of this unprecedented conflict was the Tokyo Manji Gang. There was one death, and two heavily wounded.
A tragic end to the battle.
“Hey, Kazutora.”
Baji set down half of his peyoung yakisoba and test papers on the grey stone.
With a flick of a lighter, he lit several incense sticks and placed it on the grave. It was a nice sunny day. Insects chirped in the trees. Almost everyday he came here to change the flowers and wash the gravestone.
“Leaving me alone even though I’m younger than you…” Baji tried his best to hold back his tears. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“From the moment I was born, I never lived in a world without you. What am I supposed to do now?” he sobbed.