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IMPORTANT BIRTH DAY COMING UP ?
WANNA THROW THE [[BestPartyEver]]??
FEEL L IKE [[TEARING YOURE JAW OFF WHENEVER YOU LOOK IN A MIRROR]]??/
THAN COMEDOWN TO [[SPAMTON G. SPAMTON’S BIRTHDAY BASH EMPORIUM]]!!!
LOCATED ON SCENIC [[next to this dumpster]] WE’VE GOT ALL THE [[Now In Stock!]] FOR YOUR SPECIL DAY!
STrEAMERS, BANNERS, CAKE KN1VES, ROAD BANANAS
BALOONS SO BRIGHT YOU’LL SEE THEM THROUHG YOUR TEARS!
BUY NOW WITH NO DOWN PAYMENT, NO MONTHLY PAYMENT, AND NO INTEREST UNTIL YOU [[Kill Yourself!!]]
SO MUCH [[Generosity]] I CAN”T [[$!%?]]ING TAKE IT!
DON’T DELAY! [[Join Me]] TODAY AND I’LL GIVE YOU DEALS, DEALS DEALS!
MORE DE4LS THAN I CAN AFFORD
COME NOW AND YOU CAN HAVE [[ALL THIS]] FOR JUST 2000 KROMER, 1 [[HeartShapedObject]], 71 KROMER, OR FOUR EASY PAYMENTS OF !!!
JUST [[Buy Now!]]
ANYTHING YOU WANT
P L E A S E
I’LL EVEN [[Vacuum]] YOUR [[Solid Item]]!!
YOU HEaRD RIGHT! YOUR OLD PAL SPAMTON IS JUST THAT DESPERATE!
EAHAHEAHEAHAHA!
SO HELP ME HELP YOU HELP US THROW AN UNFORGETTABLE [[Birthday Party]]!!
WE’LL MAKE IT EVEN BETTER THAN YOUR LAST PARTY - GUARENTEED! WOAH MAMA!
YOU REMEMBER.
YOU REMEMBER, RIGHT?
YOU PUT SO MUCH [[Generosity]] INTO THAT PARTy!
IT WAS YOUR FIRST BIRTHDAY SINCE BECOMING A [[Big Shot]]!
HAND-WRITTEN INVITATIONS FOR ALL YOUR [[Friends]]
CUSTOM [[Color-Coordinated Place Settings]] AND [[New Exclusive Party Hats]]
FOR A CELEBRATION 2 YOU AND YOUR [[Success]]!
THOSE DAYS YOU SPENT TOGETHER AT THE BAR
ALWAYS WANTING TO BE [[BIGGER]], [[LIGHTER]] LIKE THEM.
AND THEN YOU DID IT!
YOU BECAME A [[BIG SHOT]]!
AND THEY BECAME [[Busy Signal]] [[Busy Signal]] [[Busy Signal]]
…
…Was it my fault? Did I…?
Please just…don’t leave…
Please come back…I’m so…I didn’t…
…
BUT TODAYWOULD BE DIFFERENT!
BECAUSE YOU KNEW [[Good Friends©]] ARE ALWAYS [[In Stock]] EVEN IF THEY’RE [[In the Warehouse]]!
BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU EVEN WHEN YOU [[hate yourself]].
YOU EVEN INVITED [[MIKE]]!!!
YOU WERE REALLY [[Doorbusters]] TO SEE [[MIKE]].
YOU WEREN’T THINKING ABOUT THE STRANGE [[Pain]] HAPPENING TO YOUR [[Inventory]] SINCE YOUR [[Communion]]
WHY YOUR [[Elbows]] WERE TURNING TO [[Ball Joints]]
WHY YOUR [[Mind]] WAS TURNING TO [[Everything Must Go!]]
YOU WEREN’T SCARED,
BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!
YOUR FIRST [[BIG SHOT!!!]] BIRTHDAY
AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS WOULD BE THERE TO SEE YOU.
SO YOU SET EVERYTHING UP
AND YOU [[WAITED]]...
…
AND [[Waited]]…
…
and waited…
…
……
* But nobody came.