Work Text:
Ichimatsu didn’t need to write a note. Felt he didn’t need to. They’d know, they’d understand.
He sat on the bathroom floor, 40 antidepressants in his hands and a cup of water on the ground next to him. He didn’t need to think twice in order to do this. This is just how things have come to.
He couldn’t deal with tomorrow, not anymore.
Taking one last deep breath, he tipped some of the pills into his mouth, taking them dry. Then doing it again, until all the pills were gone from his hands. He drank the water after.
It was about 3, maybe 4 in the morning, so all of his brothers should be asleep. They shouldn’t find him until the morning, or even afternoon if they get up that late. That should be enough time for some irreversible damage to be done to him. Then he can die. Finally.
Feeling shaky, Ichimatsu lied down on his back on the floor. What now? Wait? Sleep?
Whatever. It shouldn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore. He’s finally done what he’d been planning to do for ages now, this is the only thing he had planned for his ‘future’ for so long.
Everything started to feel a little fuzzy. This was taking too long.
What Ichimatsu had just done suddenly all weighed down on him, a very unsettling feeling washing over him like a wave. He’s overdosed, he can’t go back, he’s going to (hopefully) die.
A sick and twisted laugh emitted from him, a dark smile appearing on his face. Tears fell down his cheeks. He lifted his arm to cover his face behind his sleeve, realizing any movement he made felt weird and wrong.
A soft knock was heard on the bathroom door, a familiar voice with an unfamiliar tone speaking from behind it, “Ichimatsu? Are you in there?” Jyushimatsu asked.
Ichimatsu moved his arm down slightly to peek at the bathroom door, as if doing so would help him see who it was behind the door. He didn’t respond, couldn’t respond. Maybe if he didn’t speak, Jyushimatsu would go away, would forget his older brother was missing from the futon.
But maybe not responding was not the right answer. The bathroom door slowly opened and Jyushimatsu stepped in cautiously. Spotting the purple brother, he entered the room and closed the door behind him, crouching beside Ichimatsu who remained on the floor.
“What are you doing Ichimatsu-niisan? It’s late.” He spoke, putting his sleeved hand to his open-mouthed smile.
Ichimatsu felt like shit. It was kicking in.
“Go back to bed Jyushimatsu...” He murmured, his words slurring together.
Jyushimatsu wasn’t as stupid as he seemed. He definitely picked up that something was wrong, very wrong. His smile faltered. “Ichimatsu, what’s wrong?”
Ichimatsu groaned in response, turning on his side, facing away from Jyushimatsu.
Knowing he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Ichimatsu, Jyushimatsu stood up, looking around the bathroom.
On the sink was an empty and opened orange pill bottle. He knew those weren’t empty that morning.
Ichimatsu silently wished this whole process would speed up. He hid his face into his hands.
Jyushimatsu snatched the bottle from the sink, his usual wide smile completely dropped. He dashed out the bathroom and into the bedroom, shaking Osomatsu awake.
Osomatsu slowly opened his eyes, sluggishly sitting up. “’mm Jyushimatsu? Whaddaya want?”
Jyushimatsu fumbled and stumbled over his words, motioning with his hands about something. “ Ichimatsu- he’s, Ichimatsu- in the bathroom-” He was crying, trying his hardest to say anything to make the eldest brother understand that this was urgent.
Osomatsu hushed Jyushimatsu, waking up faster when he noticed the state his little brother was in. “Calm down Jyushimatsu. What’s happened? Did you have a nightmare? What are you holding?”
Jyushimatsu shook his head rapidly, snatching his hand away when Osomatsu reached out to grab what he was holding. He tried to explain again, regaining his composure slightly. “Ichimatsu... he-he's overdosed.” He held out the orange bottle in his hand, putting it on display for Osomatsu to see.
Osomatsu stared at the bottle, his face going blank. He roughly got out of the futon, grabbed the bottle from Jyushimatsu’s palm, then rushed out the room to the bathroom, not waiting for Jyushimatsu.
Osomatsu’s abrupt actions caused the others to wake up. Choromatsu sleepily rubbed his eyes, looking up at Jyushimatsu. “What are you two doing? It’s 4 in the morning. Don’t tell me you’re getting snacks-” He stopped when he realized that Jyushimatsu was crying.
Without explaining what’s going on to the ones still in the futon, he followed Osomatsu out the room.
Osomatsu cautiously stepped over to Ichimatsu who was still lying on the bathroom tiles. He kneeled down in front of Ichimatsu, exposing the empty bottle to him. “How many did you take?”
Ichimatsu removed his hands from his face, lazily glancing at the orange container. Without responding, he covered his face back up with his hoodie. Osomatsu’s worry only grew.
“Ichimatsu please tell me. I promise I’m not mad at you, I just want - need you to please tell me Ichimatsu!” Osomatsu’s voice shook as he begged.
Ichimatsu only grunted in response, curling in on himself.
Osomatsu turned to Jyushimatsu, who had been standing at the bathroom door the whole time. “Call 119.” He instructed.
Without hesitance, Jyushimatsu ran down the hall to the phone.