Chapter Text
Maiev hadn’t felt anything quite like this, not even when Illidan had died for the first time.
She couldn’t breathe. It was as if her lungs were frozen, just like every vein in her body.
After the initial heartbreak, a seed of hatred crept into the elf’s mind. Self-hatred.
I killed him once, she thought in bitter rage. If I had just left him alone... would he still be alive now?
It’s my fault. I caused this. I killed him. I killed him I killed him I killed him I killed him I –
Tyrande smiled at her sympathetically. It just worked as fuel to Maiev’s rising anger.
“You have to let go,” she whispered.
“I can’t,” the huntress growled. “It’s my fault he’s gone.”
“No,” Tyrande sad, petting Maiev’s hair. “You didn’t cause this. The Legion did.”
“If I hadn’t killed him all the way back in Outland...”
“He would have still returned here to fight the Legion. He would have still given his life for Azeroth.”
Maiev couldn’t argue with that. Still...
“If I’d realized what my feelings were sooner, if I hadn’t been so deep in denial...” she had to stop to take a shaky breath. Her lungs were burning.
“Maybe I would have had more time with him.”
Gently, Tyrande wrapped her arms around Maiev.
“Maybe,” she whispered. “Or maybe things wouldn’t have worked out that way. You have to trust Elune,” Tyrande assured. “She watches over us, making sure we’re in a right place at the right time.”
“If this is Elune’s will, then she must hate me.”
“You were happy with him,” Tyrande pointed out.
“Yea, for fucking two months before he was ripped away from me. For good, this time.”
She still couldn’t wrap her mind around that thought completely. Illidan was immortal. He didn’t just die permanently because some demon lord hit him with a weapon that apparently banished his soul from the mortal plane for an eternity. That just wasn’t possible. It didn’t happen. Right?
“Elune will help you through this pain,” Tyrande insisted, interrupting Maiev’s grim thoughts with her disgustingly inappropriate optimism. “I know she will.”
“How?” Maiev hissed. “How could I ever move on? I feel like I’m trussed up: there’s nowhere I can go. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel, no magical way through this agony.”
“You just have to try,” Tyrande sighed. “I know it’ll be hard, I know it’ll take time, but one day, you’ll be able to move on.”
“No!” the huntress raised her voice, panic creeping into her voice. “He’s immortal. He... He’ll find a way to return to me someday. I can’t move on, for his sake.”
“Maiev, that’s not – “
“I’ll just wait here,” Maiev said stubbornly, ignoring Tyrande, “and he’ll be back." Now that she had found something concrete, she wouldn't let go of that sliver of hope, no matter how small it was.
“The curse banished his soul to the Shadowlands,” the priestess frowned. “Maiev, he won’t be able to return this time.”
“Yes he will.” They both could hear the unconvinced tone in Maiev’s voice. She didn’t believe it herself. But she had to.
But, Tyrande supposed that single thread of hope was the only thing keeping Maiev from completely breaking down.
She’d give the huntress some time. And she would try to console her later, after the warden had a chance to process what had happened herself.
Little did she know, Maiev didn’t have much time. Her mind had already been made. If Illidan wouldn’t return to him soon, she would go find him instead.