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Sure, Saiki had psychic powers and, as such, he should have been fully aware of every student attending PK Academy that day. But (perhaps it was denial) Saiki could not accept the fact that Aiura didn’t show up at school. He continued checking the thoughts of his classmates, listening for her voice among them; he peered through walls with X-ray vision, as if he expected her to be just around any corner.
He might have been hesitant to admit it in the past, but after they started dating, a small part of Saiki looked forward to seeing her each day. And she seemed to have the same feeling since her attendance improved once he agreed that he was, in fact, her boyfriend.
So why didn’t she come to school today? She didn’t seem like she was coming down with anything the day before. Eventually, as the final period of the day began, Saiki came to terms with the fact that she wasn’t just cutting class in the bathroom or running errands for teachers all day. He used his clairvoyance, crossing his eyes, bringing her into focus in his mind’s eye.
Ah, so that’s it, he thought as he observed her sitting in bed with her hands folded over her lower abdomen. Her pajamas looked cozy and comfortable, but the look on her face conveyed anything but coziness and comfort.
With powers even including shapeshifting, Kusuo Saiki had experience being a girl with his alter-ego Kuriko Saiki. But he never stayed a girl long enough to have that problem. He had read plenty of girls’ minds to know how much it sucked, though. About twenty five percent of the post-pubescent female population could be having that problem at any given time. And he had no interest in enduring the pain and discomfort first hand.
Saiki sighed as he tapped the end of his pen against his desk. She must be feeling pretty bad if she ended up skipping school. It’s not like there’s anything he could do to restore her. It’s a cycle; even if he reversed it, it would just circle right back again. So what could he do? How do you make a girl feel better? How do you eliminate this particular problem? He tapped and tapped until he heard the thoughts of his classmates and the teacher becoming irritated at the rhythmic collision of his pen against the desk. He stilled his fingers and measured his expression. He figured that it was sufficiently blank, as usual. No one would ask him why he seemed so perturbed.
“Do you want me to come see you?” he asked her, projecting his thoughts directly to her mind, even across the vast distance between her bedroom and his classroom.
He could see her nodding miserably, could hear her thoughts reverberating in his mind. I look like shit and feel like shit, but maybe Saiki can, like, help me.
So, even having no clue what he could do to help, Saiki decided that he would at least try. He hated that he didn’t know. He was a psychic, it was his job to know everything, right? But this one thing… He felt clueless. He supposed he could just ask Aiura what she needed, what he could do for her. But he hated asking that kind of thing. It was embarrassing. He could literally read minds! Why should he have to ask anyone anything?
Anyway, Saiki discreetly teleported to her bedroom once school let out and as soon as he popped in, she sighed as though in relief. Before any greetings could be exchanged, Aiura tossed a crumpled piece of paper at Saiki’s head. He could have caught it with telekinesis, but let it softly bounce off of his hair and fall into his hand. He unfurled it and read his own handwriting. One psychic favor. So she was cashing in a coupon for a chore? Well, at least Saiki wouldn’t have to guess at how he could make things better.
“You want my help with something?” Saiki asked as she watched his eyes scan over the words.
Aiura shuffled her feet in the bed awkwardly and pulled the blanket up toward her chin. Geez. This is, like, a little embarrassing…
“Good grief. Just say it,” Saiki said, folding the paper and sticking it into his pocket.
“I need pads and tampons!” Aiura shouted before pulling the blanket fully over her head.
Saiki grunted. “Okay. Sure.” What’s the big deal? If anything, Saiki was surprised that she was cashing in a psychic favor on something so normal and trivial. Any guy could walk down to a convenience store and grab a few items. This didn’t really call for Saiki’s abilities. Of course, he would probably still use them, because, well, he’s Saiki. But regardless, the use of the coupon was unnecessary.
Aiura pulled the blanket down to look at Saiki’s deadpan expression. Guys are normally, like, totally horrified of the idea of buying that stuff. But Saiki’s not, like, a normal guy, I guess. “Well, um, just get regular. And for pads, no wings, please.”
Saiki nodded as though he had any clue what she was talking about, but he figured once he got to the store it would become obvious. “Anything else?”
Aiura poked at her cheek, pretending to be bashful as her thoughts conveyed what she really wanted.
“Alright, chocolates too. Got it. Be right back.” With that, Saiki evaporated from her room and rematerialized in between some unoccupied aisles of the convenience store at the corner. He poked his head out to observe the other customers and then began perusing the candy options.
He knew this part of the store very well. After a few minutes, his arms were full of wrapped chocolate bars and boxes of bon bons. Aiura hadn’t really specified how much or what kind, so of course, Saiki would be a good boyfriend and get a nice variety. And if he needed to, he could eat whatever was leftover. Saiki felt his cheeks warm at the thought.
Okay, now the other things. He scanned the store to hear if any women were thinking about buying some of those products, but he couldn’t hear anyone. But… Shit. Just as Saiki’s eyes found a sign that said “feminine hygiene,” his mind heard a chorus of “offus,” signaling the appearance of an inconvenient person.
“Oh! Saiki!” he heard Teruhashi cheer as he came to a stop in front of a wall of pads and tampons. Her footfalls stopped as she joined him by his side. “What are you shopping for today, Saiki?” Oh, she thought as she observed first the ridiculous amount of chocolate in his arms, then second the aisle they happened to be in.
Saiki averted his eyes. This was more embarrassing than he thought it would be. Would she figure out that he had a girlfriend? Would she guess it was Aiura?
“Are you… shopping for your mom?” she guessed. “Or, maybe your little sister?”
Right. She thinks Kuriko is my little sister. Saiki nodded, a tiny silent lie.
“Wow! You’re such a great older brother!” she said, raising her slender fingers to her face in excitement while a pretty blush spread over her pale cheeks. “Most boys would be too embarrassed to buy something like this!” Of course, not my brother. She shuddered internally at the thought of asking her pervy older brother to run such an errand. “Of course, there’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s perfectly normal and natural!” She raised a finger to punctuate her point. Of course, the perfect pretty girl would say that it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but Saiki knew from her thoughts that she would never buy these kinds of things in front of other people. The hypocrisy forming her perfect pretty girl image… Saiki had to admire the mental gymnastics that she performed on a daily basis.
Saiki turned to look at the shelves in front of him, figuring and hoping that the conversation had reached its end. Regular. No wings. What the hell does that even mean?
Teruhashi kept standing there, though, watching with curiosity. Saiki felt himself begin to sweat (not literally, of course) under her gaze. She could tell. He had no clue what he was looking for.
“Is this the first time you’ve been sent on an errand like this?” she asked kindly.
Saiki nodded tersely again.
Teruhashi giggled. “Well, at least you have the chocolates figured out. What kind did she ask you to get?” She was being generous, as usual. If Saiki wasn’t so annoyed, he would be grateful.
“Regular. Tampons and pads. No wings,” he recited stiffly.
Teruhashi pointed to both of the products he needed without a word. Of course, she didn’t want to pull the items from the shelf herself in case someone might be watching. “I’ll leave you to it, then, Saiki. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”
Saiki sighed as she walked away to pick up a tube of lip balm, fulfilling the purpose of her own errand. He tugged the packages that Teruhashi indicated from the shelf and studied them carefully in case he had to do this again sometime. He didn’t want to have to rely on someone’s help with this ever again.
Saiki paid for the items, mentally adding it to Aiura’s girlfriend tab, which was steadily growing with each café date, birthday, and claw game that she forced him to play and win for her. The number that flashed in his head made him smile for some unknowable reason. Saiki carried the two plastic shopping bags into the alley way, and then in a blink, arrived back in Aiura’s room.
He tossed the crinkling bags at her feet on the bed. “Have you moved at all since I left?”
She shook her head miserably, sitting back up. “I still feel like shit,” she said.
You look like it, Saiki thought, but he decided not to kick her while she was down.
A funny thought flashed through her mind. If Saiki got me pregnant, I wouldn’t have this problem for a few months. She chuckled under her breath while she pulled out the correct pads and tampons.
Saiki rolled his eyes. Yeah, right. That’s like solving a hangnail with an amputation.
Aiura’s chuckle grew to a full blown laugh when she dumped all the chocolates onto her bed. “I like, totally appreciate this, babe. But maybe this is kind of overkill?”
Saiki sat on her bed. “If you don’t want all of it…” He pulled a bon bon from the box and popped it into his mouth.
Aiura smiled. He’s so cute when he eats. Then she winced. Ah, shit! Her hands folded over her abdomen as she curled in on herself slightly.
Saiki felt his eyebrows bunch. Why did women have to suffer on a monthly basis like this? Saiki shuffled across the bed and pulled her hands away from her stomach. She looked up at his face with a confused expression, which faded to one of relaxation when Saiki placed his own pyrokinesis-warmed hands over her troubled area.
“Wow, that really helps,” she mumbled.
Saiki quickly rearranged them so she was sitting between his legs and his arms were wrapped around her middle. Before long, she started playing a movie on her tiny phone screen, reaching over her shoulder to pop chocolates into Saiki’s waiting mouth periodically. All in all, not the worst way to spend an evening.
The next day, Saiki wondered if Aiura would be back at school. She had seemed so miserable the day before, so he would be surprised if she managed to recover that quickly.
And yet, when he walked into his classroom, he found that Aiura was already sitting at her desk. She gave him a wink and a wave of her fingers.
“You’re feeling better already?” he asked as he took his seat.
A snort of laughter puffed out of Aiura’s nose. Like, yeah. It was just cramps. They go away.
Saiki shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. He was glad that he wasn’t a girl, but he supposed taking care of one wasn’t so bad.