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Derek opened the door to the house, stopping in his tracks when he saw what greeted him. His husband stood next to a dark brown llama. Derek looked between the two as Stiles turned to him with a big grin on his face and wide eyes. “This is not what it looks like,” he greeted.
Derek raised his eyes to the ceiling with a sigh. Part of him wanted to ask, the other part of him knew better. “Nope. Just nope,” he said, sounding more like his husband than he thought he ever had in his life. He moved around the strange pair and headed for the stairs, stopping when a slightly familiar scent filled his nose.
He sniffed again and looked around him. It had been a long time since the scent had been there; ever since a big fallout just after Stiles and Derek got married. “Is Scott here?” Derek asked.
The llama snorted and swung its head at Stiles who leaped backward with a huff. “It’s not my fault, asshole,” he snapped, his eyes on the llama as it tried to hit him with his head again.
“Is...is that Scott?” Derek asked. “Did you turn Scott into a llama?”
“I didn’t do it!” Stiles said. “I would never use my magic to do something like that!” Derek raised his eyebrows and the llama snorted again. “Fine, so I might play a trick or two but this one is completely not me.” Derek’s eyebrows went higher and Scott managed to stomp on Stiles’ foot, giving a sound like laughter when Stiles cursed at him.
Sighing, Derek sat down on the second from last step, rested his elbows on his knees, and put his head in his hands. “Explain everything to me from the beginning.”
Groaning, Stiles huffed. “This idiot came here to apologize.” He sneered and did sarcastic air quotes around the last word. “His two-second speech was along the lines of ‘I’m sorry you thought I was an asshole at your wedding.’”
Derek remembered the fight that had broken out between Stiles and Scott just before the ceremony. Scott had never gotten around to liking Derek and told Stiles he was an idiot for marrying Derek. He even offered to marry Stiles himself if he was that afraid of dying alone. Stiles had been hurt and thrown Scott out before Derek had even found out what happened. He probably wouldn’t have found out until days later if Jackson hadn’t stood at Stiles’ side during the ceremony instead of Scott.
Scott had tried calling for a few weeks after the wedding, but Stiles wouldn’t take his calls. Derek had tried to encourage him to mend fences, but Stiles’ anger on behalf of Derek wouldn’t let him even entertain the thought. Eventually, Scott and Derek had both given up on changing his mind.
He wasn’t sure what had brought Scott back to try again, but it had to have been something big. He still wasn’t sure how that had ended up with Scott as a long-necked wooly beast. “So, after you refused to listen,” Derek said, knowing Stiles well enough to know that had to have been the next step, “what happened?”
“Well, in the middle of explaining to Scott just why I wouldn’t accept his ridiculous unapologetic apology, he held up a hand and told me to ‘save the drama for your llama!’”
“So, instead of following his advice, you turned him into a llama?” Derek asked, pressing his lips together, unsure if he wanted to laugh or cry.
“I didn’t turn him into a llama!” Stiles shouted, very nearly stomping his foot like an enraged child. “I told him that ‘he was a llama’ and tried to storm away. The next thing I knew, I was knocked to the ground by that!” Scott looked like he was ready to knock Stiles to the ground again.
“It seems to me your words would be directly responsible for Scott’s current condition,” Derek countered, fighting the urge to rub his temples. Werewolves weren’t supposed to get headaches, but he’d discovered that sometimes Stiles and his antics were capable of causing one.
“It’s totally not my fault that a fairy happened to be passing through the woods when I said it,” Stiles muttered.
“Fuck,” Derek said, dropping his head. It was going to be a long, drawn-out, and dare he say it, overly dramatic night as they searched for the fairy to reverse the spell. Hopefully, by the time they were done, Stiles would either forgive Scott or Scott would choose never to speak to Stiles again.