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“Alright, alright, come one, come all! Is it your dream to be the most handsome man in the world? How about having crowds flock to you demanding your autograph?? What about being the most sought after entertainer in all of Eos???! If the answer is YES YES YES then come on down to the Crow’s Nest and…get crowned the new Kenny Crow!”
Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!!!!!
That’s right! It’s time to pick the new KENNY CROW!!!!!!!!!
“Uh…what happened to the old Kenny Crow,” someone asked.
“Oh, he caught his untimely demise. Hahahaha! Just kidding. He retired. Flew the coop.”
The crowd of Kenny Crow hopefuls stared back in silence. Did they believe the announcer’s lie? Well, pshhh, they’d never believe the truth anyways, that Kenny Crow got outed as a spy. How embarrassing. Truly had the whole Crow’s Nest franchise pulling out their feathers but there was a solution! Just choose a new Kenny Crow, one that preferably isn’t a spy!!!
NOW LET’S BEGIN THE AUDITIONS!!
“So, here’s how we are picking the new Kenny Crow. It’s a very scientific approach to choose who is the best among the best. All you have to do is give us your best pun.”
The audience stared back again and imagined pun-ting this announcer judge man into pitioss ruins.
Was he for real? Puns?
He chuckled back at them. “Best pun becomes the new Kenny Crow. Let’s go! So who’s up first? Give us your best shot! Don’t wing it though. I’m talon you, it’s got to be good!”
The first cawntestant approached.
He had the look, the attitude. My gods, he was Kenny Crow!
The announcer judge man salivated. A true Kenny Crow in his midst!
He tried to compose himself in the face of such Kenny Crow beauty.
“So, what’s your pun?”
“CAW CAW BITCH!”
The other contestants looked confused and whispered, “Is that even a pun?”
The announcer judge man was mesmerized by the sheer poetry of this contestant’s words.
Kenny Crow cawntinued.
“Caw me if I got the job,” he said as he walked away.
“Wait! Stop!” The announcer judge man ran after him.
He was out of breath. “YOU!!!! YOU ARE KENNY CROW!!!!”
He bowed down to him and stared into his beady little eyes.
Kenny Crow just replied, “Caw…”
“Eeep! The cawnfidence! You’re hired!”
The other contestants groaned and dispersed, muttering, “It’s a cawnspiracy.”
“Cawngratulations!”
Kenny Crow flapped his wings in response.
“My gods, you’re perfect! So cawthentic!”
“Caw.”
The End :D