Chapter Text
As soon as Shouto steps into class 1-A, the room goes completely silent as they turn to look at him with pitying eyes. They all look so unsure of what to say but Shouto wouldn’t blame them, the entire school year all he’s done is avoid and ignore. So naturally in this situation, the best course of action would be: zero in on his desk, mind his own business, and hope his classmates mind theirs’.
"Hey Todoroki-kun?” Of course, it’s Kirishima who stops him halfway. “Are you feeling alright?”
He had been asked this question multiple times since the day it happened. Shit, he was even given the previous week off to “grieve with his family” (which just so happened to be the most awkward 7 days he has ever experienced). Yet, he has absolutely no idea how to respond, so he settles for a quick nod.
Apparently, that was the wrong answer because now Kirishima looks even more uncomfortable than before. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for what happened to your dad, it must be hard dealing with the loss of a parent. If you ever need someone to talk to-" Kirishima trailed off on his sentence to search Shouto’s expression for cues that he may be overstepping, but his face remains painfully neutral. “- it doesn’t have to be about your situation! It could be about anything. I just want you to know that I’m here to be your friend if you ever need one!”
Now that, caught him off guard. He would have expected to be offered condolences, maybe even a gift (Ashido bought him an Endeavour keychain- he didn’t have the heart to throw it away) but friendship? "I'll let you know when I need one." Shit, that came out harshly. He opted for an exit as he got to his own desk with a quicker pace. In the few seconds he took to be seated, Kirishima was being scolded by Ashido to "leave him alone, he's grieving!"
That statement shouldn't have felt so offensive, but it's Endeavor they're talking about. He'll take the awkward sibling icebreakers over "grieving" his poor excuse of a father. The bell rang prompting everyone to take their assigned seats to welcome the arrival of their teacher.
"I'm sure you've all heard of the recent news." Aizawa-sensie's eyes linger on Shouto a bit longer as he scans the room. "Because of this, the Hero Public Safety Commission has requested we start Internships again."
"What about those who don't have their provisional licenses yet?" Kaminari chimed in.
"Raise your hand first, also, these are internships, they are mandatory. Unlike your work studies, you are not being paid and you won't be participating in cases of high severity. You've got to the end of this week to choose which agency to intern with so we could get those started by the next. Any other questions?" His question was met with silence. "Good, now Yaoyorozu, Iida, I'd like you to pass out this pop quiz."
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"Todoroki." his teacher was calling him, which is unusual. "A word?" he was already standing by the doorframe and motioned for Shouto to follow him out.
They stood there for a fat minute by the door, his teacher most likely trying to figure him out. "I don't want you to go on these internships."
"How come?" really, he was genuinely curious. However due to his inability to express anything (just another thing to curse Endeavor's grave for), the words came out harsher than they were supposed to.
"Because you are clearly upset." well now he is. Even in his muddy grave Enji still manages to piss him off somehow. His teacher definitely misinterpreted the scowl growing on his face considering that his next words were: "I'm sorry."
"About what?" Shouto carefully evened his voice so as to not express his frustration.
"We'll talk about this more during lunch." he sighed, "I only want you to understand that I'm not forbidding you from joining, I only want to go over some things to make sure you will be thinking this through rationally." and with that he left to his next class to teach.
Rationally? logically, it made sense, especially after Iida's incident. But that just made him even more pissed, even with the old man dead, his image is still being influenced by him.
Sure, he’s fantasized about the old man never coming back from a villain attack (which definitely isn’t healthy, but Shouto couldn’t care less), but now that it’s happened, life seems a lot more frustrating now than when he was alive. Maybe he could still expose him? But what good would that do, he’s already gone. Not to mention, last time he tried reporting him, they shooed him away because apparently “there wasn’t enough evidence”.
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“Glad you made it.” his teacher comments as he takes a seat in one of the secluded offices. Shouto simply nods as a greeting not knowing how to appropriately respond. “I want you to know, that for whatever you’re going through you can always trust me to talk to, it doesn’t have to be now, or about your current situation. You can talk to me about anything.” That sounds very similar to what his classmate said, “You can trust me. Don’t think of me as a superior, but rather a friend.” that sounded so cheesy even Aizawa cringed a bit as his own words (really shows that he cares). Apparently losing parents gives you friends- he’s gonna have to thank Deku for that one.
“I understand.” Shouto deadpanned, he hated how insincere his words sounded.
“I’d like to know if you’re in the right state of mind to go on an internship. I just want to make sure that there won't be a repeat of the Stain incident.”
The mention of Stain felt almost nostalgic in a sick way. His father forced him to intern with him, and once the nomus invaded Hosu, that was his chance to disappear. He found Stain sharing his societal ideals to a bleeding out hero. Shouto was about to mind his business and pretend to not see anything, until he realized it was Iida that was bleeding out. It all turned out well in the end. He sits with Iida during lunch even though he doesn’t talk at all (Uraraka gave up on trying to include him in their conversations a long time ago).
“I’m okay, Endeavour's death didn’t affect my ability to act rationally.” He meant it as a slight joke, but when was he ever perceived as humorous?
“You don’t need to put up a strong front with me, I understand how it feels to lose a loved one. Especially when it happens right in front of you. You are not alone.” If his teacher had been talking to someone who was actually upset, his words would’ve carried a lot of weight. But in Shouto’s current situation, it only made this meeting a lot more uncomfortable. “You are allowed to go to an internship, on the condition that you promise me, for the love of god, that you won’t act irrationally.”
That has got to be the most lenient condition Aizawa has ever given in his entire career (maybe Sero was right, he is getting soft for their class).
“I promise that I won’t act irrationally.”
“Good, because if you do, your license will be revoked and you’d need to take the provisional exam next year” - ah, so there Was a condition after all - “You can go now, you’ll need your friends to support you.”
Shouto wouldn’t exactly call them friends but he excused himself anyway with a bow.
Instead of heading towards the cafeteria, where he knows his ‘friends’ are going to try to console him, he made his way towards the library, to be alone with his thoughts and catch up on homework.
Shouto couldn’t care less about internships. It’s not like he’s excited for hero work, but he’s already on track to be one so might as well. He’d probably retire before his career gets serious and take on a boring civilian job completely unrelated to heroics.
He would eagerly skip out on the internship but he’s at a stalemate here: if he doesn’t go, he’d be thought to be upset and the words of pity will only follow him for much longer; if he does go, he’d be the ‘son of the number one hero honoring his legacy and avenging his death’. No matter what he chooses it’s a lose/lose.
No one (excluding Natsuo and Fuyumi) understands that he’s actually happier than ever in his long 16 years of life. This is his opportunity to detach himself from the old man and truly be free. There’s absolutely no one he could honestly talk to if they were all blind to the fraud he really was. Endeavour has plenty of critics but no one will ever know to what extent his level of asshole-ness was.
Perhaps his mother would understand.