Chapter Text
Ed couldn't tell anymore whether the tears on his face were from joy or grief.
What a strange experience it was, to be having both one of the worst and happiest days of his life at the same time. He had prepared for months that it would be a happy day, and while there had always been some fear in the back of his mind, he had brushed it off. After all, he always was a little afraid in the back of his mind. He had always figured that was just the price for everything he had gone through. He hadn't thought he actually needed to prepare himself for the possibility of something horrible. He never thought he would have to prepare for something like losing his wife the same day he gained a daughter.
But the world had always had a habit of not giving him the life he had prepared for.
Honestly, he had always assumed that between him and Winry, he would be the first to go. After all, he was the one who had always been running around and getting into danger, he had been the one who had traded years of his life away. So why was he suddenly the one who had managed to beat the odds and stay alive? Why was someone like Winry able to be taken down by something as ordinary as childbirth?
"Brother?"
There was suddenly a soft hand on his shoulder. Ed jerked his head out from his hands, pulling away from his knees to look up at Al. His brother gave him one of those sad smiles that had suddenly gotten plastered to everyone's faces for the past few hours, their eyebrows all crinkling in that identical fashion. "The nurse says you can come back and hold your daughter. If you want."
"Yeah, of course," Ed said, standing up and wiping the back of his palms at the corner of his eyes. No matter what he was feeling, there was still that little baby that they had spent so long preparing for. He had been old enough to know what it felt like when he had lost a parent not just once, but three times, but that little baby didn't even understand what grief was yet. She didn't understand yet that she had lost a mother, only that the world was suddenly cold and she wasn't being held.
Ed could at least hold her.
He was led in a haze through a maze of corridors, instructed on washing his hands at one point. And then suddenly, before he had even had much time to mentally prepare for it, there was the tiniest little life being gently placed in his arms.
Her eyes were still squeezed shut, her tiny fingers clutched tightly into little fists, like she was angry at the world before she had even had much chance to experience it. Ed let out a wet chuckle and touched a finger to the tip of her nose. She looked so much like his baby pictures that it was almost uncanny that he could hold this little, real baby that reminded him so much of himself.
Ed stood there and held her in silence, rocking and staring at her with hushed awe as the sun slowly crept over the horizon and slipped through the window. After the longest night of his life, morning had finally, finally broken. Winry hadn't been able to get through the labor quickly like she wanted when she noticed her labor pains starting. She had been in so much pain, and yet she had spent extra breath promising Ed, trying to reassure him. And she still hadn't made it. The baby had been born after a long labor, early in the morning. And Winry had slipped away not long after, like the fight had taken more than she had to give.
How ironic was it that Ed had lost the person who had always felt like home on October third, of all days?
He could feel Al at his side, and he silently took a minute to be grateful for Al's faithfulness. He wasn't sure how he would be standing after the night he'd had if Al hadn't been at his side through the entire night.
"Did you have any ideas for names?" the nurse said in a soft tone that was almost a whisper.
Ed suddenly found himself regretting that he and Winry hadn't been able to agree on any names, arguing about the decision up until the day Winry had gone into labor. Winry had insisted through her entire pregnancy that Ed had absolutely no sense when it came to naming a baby, or even just style in general, and he had insisted that all of her name suggestions didn't sound very cool. He suddenly wished he had agreed to one of her suggestions, just so he could at least have a small reminder of her. He sniffed and looked up at the window with the early morning sunrise streaming in, and he was struck with a memory of a name Winry had said she thought was beautiful.
"Aurora," he whispered, looking back down at the tiny blond bundle in his arms. "Because she's the dawn of a new light of my life."
Silence fell over the room for a minute as his words slowly settled, and then there was Al's hand on his shoulder again. "That's a beautiful name, Brother. Winry would love it."
"Of course she would," Ed whispered, smiling at the sleeping baby in his arms. "She's the one who thought of it."
The nurse nodded, marking down the name on her clipboard. "Do you have a middle name for her?"
"Borealis."
"Uhh..." Al coughed. "Maybe let's workshop the middle name before we decide anything for sure."
"What's wrong with Borealis?" Ed said, turning to look over his shoulder. Al gave him a sheepish grin, and Ed found himself grateful for a second. That was the sort of smile he was used to, not the pitying smiles everyone had been giving him. It almost felt like things were normal again for a second.
"What's... Wrong with Borealis?" Al repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Do you hear yourself?"
"What? The Aurora Borealis is one of the most beautiful things to ever exist, and she deserves to get named after something that beautiful."
"Well, sure," Al said with a small laugh. "But I think naming her Aurora is enough to get the point across, Brother."
Ed hummed, turning back to look at his daughter. Well, if Borealis was out of the question, there was really only one other name he could think of giving her. Only one other name that could fully convey just how smart and wonderful he knew she would be.
"Aurora Winifred Elric," Ed whispered, holding her up slightly so he could press his forehead against hers. As if she could recognize her name, she opened her eyes and stared at him with a bright golden gaze that matched his.