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At the first edges of sunlight, Diluc’s eyes flutter open. Usually, the first thought he had on his mind isn’t that of the past. Today is different apparently, and the first thought he has is wanting to see his brother and shove him awake. Diluc sighs, pushing the thought to the back of his mind, he rises from his bed to begin his day. He knows why he is probably feeling this way, the past few days and adventures that include the Traveler, and by extension his brother, have made him soft and reminiscing about the past. He didn’t realise how the other man still held high regards to their childhood, and he doesn’t want to face the fact that maybe he was wrong about him and that nothing had changed that night other than the fact that Kaeya told him the deepest part of himself and was punished for it. Diluc doesn’t think about it, if he did, he’d get stuck and then there won’t be anyone to protect Mondstadt.
He doesn’t remind himself that Kaeya is also in Mondstadt, and maybe he wants to protect him from the same distance he protects the city.
On the other side of Mondstadt, Kaeya’s eye flutters open, the sunlight kissing him good morning. His heart is heavy; heavier than usual today and it drags him down from immediately rising to begin his day as he would always do. A busy morning kept Kaeya, like a shark, from drowning. So when he awakes and he doesn’t want to move forward, he’s afraid he’ll be stuck like this forever. He curses his past days, knowing that proximity to his ex-brother has him remembering the days gone by. He’s felt warmth from his fellow knights, the soft breeze from Jean, Amber’s frustrated, caring anger whenever he doesn’t take his breaks on time, Klee’s bombs and her bubbly laugh, the electricity from Lisa’s touch as she lays a knowing hand on his shoulder, but Diluc’s reminds him of childhood and of stability and safety, though sometimes there are times it reminds him of clashing metal and blinding rain. Kaeya shakes his head of the thought before finally pulling himself up. It reminds him, again, of when he was in these stumps, how their Father would hold him, stability in times when Kaeya felt like he was in rocky waters in a boat. When it wasn’t him, it was Diluc, a steady hand on his shoulder.
And then he remembers the time when he had to bury the man who raised him, when he needed that stability the most. One in the ground, never to come back from the box holding him, and the other gone someplace else, visionless, alone, with nobody to fight in his blindspots.
They sigh, box and bury their unspoken thoughts, and carry on. Their Father would’ve been disappointed in them.
Lumine is pissed. Very mad, and very fuming at the seat of Diluc’s bar. He makes another apple cider for her, which he slides over the way she’s always fascinated by. She catches it, gives it to Paimon who drinks it with vigor before lifting it up as if asking Diluc for another round. He sighs and Lumine grunts, rubbing her temples.
She isn’t pissed over something small. Diluc knows this, and has seen it before from when Paimon had eaten her rations by accident. Lumine doesn’t let things that are out of her control get to her like this. Diluc also realises how little she’s been eating the past few days since-
Maybe he should ask her about what had happened when she left with that other weird traveller.
Diluc clears his throat, trying to think about how to gently say this, but before he can Lumine’s already saying her piece.
“Why,” She starts, finally leaning her weight on her elbows on the bartop. “Why is he doing this? He’s not making any sense, why didn’t he want to come back with me?”
Diluc tenses, realising who she is talking about. He doesn’t want to believe it, not wanting to believe that a sibling, ever more a twin , would reject their sibling when given the chance to return to them. Hell he’d-
He doesn’t want to think about that.
Lumine bites her lip and her brows furrow, making Paimon flutter close to her shoulder to rub at it comfortingly. She takes a deep breath and sighs, tired and confused. It makes Diluc feel so out of place, he hasn’t comforted someone when they’re suffering like this before. Hasn’t since-
He doesn’t want to think about that.
He reaches a hand out, lets it hang in the air for a bit as if to let Lumine know his hand is coming near, before placing it over her’s. She looks up then, and Paimon continues to pat her back. Diluc gives her a sympathetic look, knowing the feeling of confusion at being told something that one cannot comprehend, the feeling of frustration and anger at not understanding why now and why me . Though, he’s glad she didn’t follow through and lashed out on that feeling, and then followed it through with running after the people who were the true culprit of his pain as if that would undo the pain he had inflicted onto an innocent boy. She was a kinder sibling than him, he realises, kinder and stronger. He deserves someone like that.
He doesn’t want to think about that, but he does anyway. And it burns, and he wonders if Kaeya felt like that when he-
Lumine gives him a small smile, breaking him out of his own reverie. As if reading his mind, she starts to speak.
“I don’t think I reacted that well, either anyway,” She chuckles, and Paimon gasps, appalled. Hands on their hips, Lumine laughs as Paimon starts to fly around her. “I mean, I shouldn’t have prodded! And I probably should’ve followed after him or agreed or-,”
“What do you mean ?! That’s not “Not that well”! You wanted answers! He was acting weird and he didn’t even tell you anything!” She throws her hands up, exasperated as Lumine shakes her head. Diluc watches as Paimon crosses her arms and pouts. “If he told you the truth, at least you’d know! You don’t- What- At least if you’re mad you can try to understand him! Right now, you’re still as lost as ever!”
Paimon goes on a small rant, and Lumine just nods and smiles, as if she’s finally resigning to the fact that she doesn’t know why her twin refuses to return. Diluc watches, feeling his chest tighten.
At least he told him, hadn’t he? Even with the bad timing. Diluc feels as if things are falling into place when he isn’t ready.
But that’s what usually happens to him anyway.
It’s been 5 years since his new normal, since his Father’s death, and since he’s been trying to move on, leaving behind the important pieces of his life along with that. He tries not to think too hard to remember whenever Adelinde will pass by a painting of them and reminisce. She talks about their childhood a lot, about how funny Kaeya was whenever he came home with a small animal in his arms, how Crepus tasted bad wine and would demand the batch be burned before he continues to ruin his taste, how Diluc would- he couldn’t for the love of him remember this- how Diluc would as a child cry to keep his Father home, would cling to him, sometimes with the help of Kaeya to keep him from work. How he would teach Kaeya and Jean about the strategies he came up with when they played Knights together, how he was always so bubbly. She’d cup his chin then, look at him like she did when he was small but growing so fast it was like he was passing her by, her eyes glassy but her smile proud. He wonders if that’s where Father got the look, and he wonders if Adelinde sees him in Diluc. Sometimes it would shock a reminder in him that Adelinde knew Father far longer than he did, and he wonders if that’s where she learnt to care for him.
He wonders how his Father would feel now.
“Kaeya-,” He’s begging again, like he did all those years ago. Kaeya coughs, and blood sprays along his chin and his no longer white shirt. Diluc feels like he’s pulled out of his body, remembering this, remembering how his Father died and he couldn’t do anything and now his brother will die and he couldn’t do anything not even apologise or fix things like he’s always said he would and- Kaeya grabs his wrist, the same wrist somehow connected to his hand pressing into Kaeya’s wound. He shakes his head and Kaeya smiles. “No- No, no, no, no, no, I’m not letting you go, Kaeya, you hang on or else- or else-.”
Lumine has gone to get help, and Diluc doesn’t know how long it has been. 5 minutes? 5 hours? It doesn’t matter because no matter how long it will take Diluc will keep kneeling for as long as possible if it means even a slim chance of Kaeya surviving.
The fucking Ruin Guard, Diluc curses it even though it’s lying a few feet away from them, destroyed and unmoving. Kaeya chuckles, and he coughs and Diluc holds him tighter and presses harder, he presses his face into Kaeya’s head. And for the first time in a long time, Diluc prays. And he whispers prayers into Kaeya, hoping and wishing it will somehow help him live. Maybe he should’ve done this with their Father, maybe he would’ve survived. He tries not to think, knowing this was somehow a second chance. Maybe he will be forgiven, he doesn’t care.
Please, please, don’t take him.
He begs, and he hates to. Would rather go and take what he wants rather than ask. But now he can’t, he can’t when his brother is bleeding out, wounds and broken bones laying limp in his arms and clinging to the living world. Diluc sobs as he feels Kaeya hum, and he shakes his head as he holds harder.
Barbatos please, not him. Not him, too. I’ll fix everything if he lives, just-
Please.
Like a prayer answered, a gust of wind blows over them, healing the small cuts on Diluc’s face and arms and stopping the profuse bleeding from Kaeya. Diluc wonders why he got healed, when half the blood on him isn’t even his. Kaeya groans when he feels his worse wounds close up and Diluc breathes a small sigh of relief, still clinging. He faintly hears their names being called, feels a gentle hand on him. Slowly, exhaustion takes over him, and he feels his locked arms loosening as he feels his brother get gently pried from him. It reminds him of his Father again, only he hears Kaeya whimper. Diluc’s eyes slowly flutter close as he calls out in protest. He hears a familiar voice cooing at him.
“It will be okay, Diluc, your brother is safe,” A familiar bard’s voice soothes him. He feels himself being held gently, being rocked as he hears Healers come together to, hopefully, patch Kaeya up better than the initial healing. Venti’s voice wavers, and Diluc swears he can feel something wet touch his cheek, making him feel like a breeze is cooling him down.
“I’m so sorry for almost being late again. I swear, it won’t happen again.”
Diluc stands in front of Kaeya’s room, holding the takeout box in his hand. He’s standing there, listening to the volume behind the door. He can hear familiar voices, Rosaria, Lumine, Paimon, and another, almost familiar voice. He can’t recognise it, but it sounds fond, and he can hear his brother laugh along with it and he can hear everyone’s teasing tone. Diluc takes a deep shuddering breath, and he decides to open the door.
A Harbinger.
Kaeya’s head shoots up, eyes wide like he had been caught with a secret. Lumine has a similar look while Rosaria just has her eyes wide at the sudden door movement, but returns to indifference when she sees Diluc. The Harbinger doesn’t look shocked at all, simply narrowing his eyes, leaning forward, scanning Diluc before his eyes widen and he calls out in surprise, a smile on his face.
“It’s you!” Diluc remembers now, who this monstrosity is. One of the Harbingers he had seen while on his travels. Diluc’s grip on the box tightens as he tries to even out his breathing. He feels his anger wash away however, when he sees Kaeya place a hand on the ginger’s forearm, like one would do with a-
Diluc wants to grab Kaeya and shake him around, knowing that if he was like this with that man he had known him far longer than his injuries. So that means he had started their relationship when he was fine and not currently in bed and not thinking straight from medication. He wants to yell and ask why out of everyone, why him.
But Diluc cannot be mad, because he’s here to fix things. As he’s promised Barbatos. So he will suck it up, and let it slide for now. Diluc’s shoulders slump, and it seems to cut the tension in the room to just Kaeya’s confusion. Lumine smiles and Rosaria chuckles when Diluc lifts the box up, an explanation to his visit. Childe makes a surprised noise, happy to have food to eat but Diluc shoots him a glare.
“It’s for Kaeya ,” He hisses, pulling the box close to him. Kaeya laughs when he sees Childe’s pout, the ginger turning to look at him as if to beg for some. Kaeya shakes his head and Diluc can’t be that angry if that Harbinger makes his little brother smile like that.
Lumine seems to get it, and she stands, grabbing Childe and tugging. Childe makes a whining sound and Lumine kicks his leg.
“C’mon! You need to help me gather artifacts for Kaeya when he gets better!”
“But I wanna stay here!” He whines again, and he turns to shoot Kaeya a forlorn look. “What if something happens? I need to-.”
Rosaria waves her hand.
“He’s under surveillance, it’s fine. Even if nobody’s in the room, Diluc’s here.” She says and grabs him and forces him up. Lumine nods and Paimon makes a triumphant sound as Childe finally follows them out.
As he passes Diluc, who moves to take his place on the chair, Childe lifts his hand up to his face. His thumb and pinky in the shape of a phone and mouths, “call me” at Kaeya, making him laugh like someone with a crush. Diluc doesn’t see it, but he turns to see what made Kaeya so giddy only to watch the door creak shut.
Now it’s just Rosaria, him, and Kaeya.
Rosaria looks at her wrist, before nodding to Diluc.
“If anything happens and nobody’s coming in fast enough you know where to find help.” She waves as she moves to the door. Diluc panics, not knowing what to do alone with his brother. Kaeya waves and Rosaria opens the door.
“W-Where are you going?”
“Nun duty, Master Diluc. You know, I have to carry out the work of...” Rosaria’s face scrunches up. “Babadose. See you.”
She then proceeds to just stand outside the door. Barbatos’ work indeed. He wonders if Venti told her about his deal, or if it was just Rosaria’s own intuition.
Kaeya sits on his bed, hands in his lap and Diluc turns to look at him. The box of chicken-mushroom skewers sitting on the table. Kaeya takes it and opens it, and Diluc tries to think about something, anything to fill the gaping space of silence. And then-
“Not judging, but why a Harbinger?”
Kaeya almost chokes on his bite and Diluc holds back a laugh. Kaeya looks up, scandalised.
“You have such shit taste.”
“Says you.”
Maybe he can hold up his end of the deal, as Kaeya laughs and he snorts out a chuckle. Maybe there’s still a way to fix this.
He can deal with this, he can work to get Kaeya’s forgiveness, go out and do whatever it takes. As long as he’s alive, he still has time.
Thank Barbatos for that.