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Bob put his fumbling hands on his tie to make sure it was properly secured as he kept walking up the path to the top of the falls. He and Helmut had taken some time lately to interact more, mostly as preparation for the whole team trying out Otto’s new invention, and it was...a paradigm shift for sure. Sure yes, it was exciting, and Bob immediately agreed to join Helmut at the top of the falls for one of their evening chats, but Bob was getting anxious again. He had gotten a pep talk from Lucy just before setting out. She was one of the few people who knew about his feelings towards Helmut. All she had to say this time around was to go out there and show Helmut who Bob Zanotto truly is.
Bob had very few people in his life he let close, for good reason. Tragedy, death, disappointment, or disinterest, and plants were one of the few constants that were living and didn’t let him down, it was a true exchange of effort and love and care. However, after joining the psychonauts, and getting closer with Helmut, he was out of his depth. Helmut was kind and jovial and outgoing and charismatic, and Bob was so cooped up, the first few times they had alone time, especially when Bob dove into Helmut’s mind, Bob had to take a breather for the rest of the day.
As Bob reached the top of the cliff, he could hear Helmut signing to himself, which eased some of the anxiety and uncertainty. He was never quite sure if Helmut had ever reached any of Bob’s mental vaults; heaven knows those stereoscopes would rat his feelings out so fast. And sure, yes, everyone shared almost everything with each other, no walls outside of our minds so as to expand the capabilities of everyone, but it was still a tightrope walk every single time, if the feelings would change. After all, every time Bob went into Hemut’s brain, there wasn’t anything telling or anything that gave away any of his feelings towards Bob. There were the usual colorful landscapes, and the few times he was on the viking ship with Helmut, a mental projection of Bob was there, assisting Helmut’s mind.
Helmut’s singing grew louder and made its way through the chorus of the cicadas of the summer’s end, and the brush gave way to a nice calm meadow near the drop of the waterfall. He was sitting on the blanket he kept in the Feel Mobile, a picnic basket nearby and what looked like a bottle of wine.
“Hi,” Bob managed to pipe up, throat a bit dry. The setting sun was cool in the late summer breeze.
“Hey, Bobby, saved you a seat for the show.” Helmut turned around and patted the spot right next to him. Helmut was wearing that same cute multicolored coat, like some biblical dream interpreter. It was so soft to touch and Bob was not a stranger to enjoying the way the coat felt when Helmut gave him his signature tight bearhug.
“A new entry into the Psychodyssey?” Bob inquired, sitting between the basket and Helmut.
Helmut chuckled, “no, not this time, still working out the last few stanzas. It’s just nice to get out here and watch the sun set and the stars light up overhead. Sometimes the way the moon rises over the hills is just breathtaking, wasn’t sure if you’ve seen it yet.” He cleared his throat and handed Bob a glass. “Do you...what do you have planned after this is all over, Bobby?”
The tonal change caused some whiplash. Helmut was serious at moments, but he was always ever present in the moment, taking life fully and truly a second at a time.
“Uh...well,” Bob stammered. He had just assumed after the experiments were over, they’d either all go their separate ways, or start a more formal institution, but all good things come to an end eventually, don’t they? “I guess, just tend to my plants, maybe write a book. Why do you ask, planning on doing another tour?”
Helmut opened the wine bottle, looking reserved, as if trying to compose a poem on the spot over a topic Helmut was unsure about. “I mean, definitely, but…” he took a pause to pour them both a glass. “It just feels weird to do it alone this time if and when I do go on tour, you know?”
“Have you asked the others yet? I’m sure we’d all love to join you. Green Needle Gulch is nice and all, but I think we could all use a break from researching and see what we can do in the real world again.” Bob took a sip, unsure as to why Helmut was asking him first before anyone else, especially Ford, since he was the one who brought them all together.
“Not yet, but I thought I’d ask you first.” Helmut downed half the cup he had poured himself. “A few days ago, when I was in your brain last, I saw something.”
Oh Dear.
“This is, well, embarrassing, but for someone who performs a lot, I’m not always good at taking hints and getting my queues right, especially since I’ve been a one-man-show for a while.” Helmut set down his glass and turned directly to face Bob, face lit up with a smile of hope. “I saw a few of those mental vaults. I’m sorry, I just...I know you’ve still got reservations about all of us, and that’s fine. But, I saw a few of your recent memories locked up, the ones about us.”
“Oh?” Bob replied, finishing his own drink, trying not to look disgusted at the dry aftertaste of the wine. “And what did you think?”
“I think I’m a fool.” Helmut replied. “I saw the way you looked at me when I wasn’t looking in those memories, so much warmth and care. Bobby Zanotto, what I’m trying to say is, do you wanna be my man? Because I’d really love it if you’d be mine.”
Bob felt his face heat up and turn red like the ripened tomatoes he had just recently plucked. “I…totally, yes, that’d be groovy.” He had no idea Helmut felt the same, there were little hints if anything, but it was weird to think that behind all that charisma, that boisterous and sunny disposition was a man who also kept some things hidden.
With the tension gone, Bob and then Helmut started laughing and held hands. “Alright, let’s break out the snacks, it’s curtain call.” Helmut opened the basket just as the sun was starting to set, igniting the sky in an array of oranges and purples.
They both took one sandwich out and started to eat and talk about how the other was doing in their own downtime away from the rest of the psychic seven, Helmut’s new inspiration with new acts in the Psychodessey and took further inspiration from Beowulf, the Norse pantheon, and other assorted history books of Vikings and norsemen that Helmut had gotten before taking Ford’s offer.
The way Helmut talked on about music theory and intertwining it with the legends and stories he’d hope to bring to life, along with what he’d learned so far with the other members of their group, warmed Bob up. Not that he didn’t like to talk, but he could easily listen to Helmut talk for hours, the attention to detail and love he put into his art lit something insite of Bob and he couldn’t ignore it. The two had finished the rations Helmut had brought by the time the first few stars came out.
“So, how are the plants doing, Bobby?” Helmut asked, in the middle of info dumping about the future of his stage act.
Bob sighed, “the plants are doing ok, had to harvest some of their fruit, which is a bit troublesome, but it’s easier when you can talk with them to make sure taking the fruit off goes as painlessly as possible. So I’ve got some fruit, if you ever want some. I already canned the tomatoes, but there’s still some berries I’ve yet to figure out what to do with, if you want some.”
Helmut squeezed Bob’s hand, “I’d like that a lot, Bobby. C’mon, it’s getting late, and I’d like it if we didn’t have to fight the wildlife to get back.” Helmut easily picked Bob back up, and telekinetically wrapped the bottle and blanket back into the basket before Helmut grabbed it from mid air in his free hand.
The walk back was quiet between the two. The cicadas were sleeping and the silence between the two was a nicety Bob could get used to. Usually silence for Bob meant rehashing and agonizing over the past, questioning if there was anything he could have done to help his mother, since he was helping with almost everything else around the house after his dad died, especially as Bob grew older. “You go up there often? It’s a wonderful view.” He had to break the silence, ground himself. Remind himself he was in the moment with Helmut, his boyfriend.
“Only when I need a fresh perspective and get more inspiration for my music. Maybe we can make it a thing between us.” Helmut gave Bob’s hand another brief but tight squeeze, a miniature hug from his new boyfriend.
“That would be nice. I’d like to get a better look at the stars sometime with you, I mean.” Bob gave a squeeze back, bringing himself further into the present moment, the calm summer night, the clear and fresh air mixed in with Helmut’s cologne was a scent he wanted
The forest gave way to the encampment, and the two walked to Bob’s place. The night felt like it was just getting started, but the group agreed on no late nights, as daytime was for practicing, wellness checks, and if Otto was willing and he wasn’t stuck in his lab, research.
The two stopped right outside of the building attached to the large greenhouse Bob had set up. “This was a nice night, you really know how to woo a guy, I mean. Can we do it again soon?”
Helmut placed his basket down and brought Bob into a tight embrace, his soft technicolor sweater acting as a large pillow against his boyfriend’s larger frame. “You know where to find me, and we can definitely hang out more, just say the word. I would like to meet your plants some time, too, if that’s ok.”
“Absolutely. I feel like they’d nag at me if I didn’t introduce you eventually.” Bob nuzzled his face a little bit further, taking a deep breath, trying to keep this moment, these feelings in his mind until tomorrow. Eventually Bob came up, and the two were still locked in an embrace. It took only a few moments before they both leaned in and properly made out.
Bob wasn’t sure how experienced Helmut was, Bob did have his trysts every now and then with a man he knew, but it was usually chaste and never lasted long. However, Helmut really knew how to kiss. It was slow at first, but there was hunger and eagerness that Bob added to it. Soon it was all that Bob could think about, then Helmut added in tongue and realized how fast it was going. “Sorry, that was super sudden of me, I-”
“I like you Helmut. I like you a lot.” Bob replied, chuckling a bit that he wasn’t the only one frazzled by the events of the evening. “Sleep well, Helmut. We’ll talk again tomorrow. I promise. You know where to find me.”
Helmut nodded and picked the basket back up and made his way to The Feel Mobile. Bob didn’t go back inside until Helmut disappeared into the dark of night. He shut the door behind him and sat on the floor for a good five minutes, replaying the events in his mind and loosened his tie. He sighed in content at how wild his life had gotten since he accepted Ford's proposition to join his research group.
Bob wasn’t sure what the future would hold, but he knew one thing, he’d fight like hell to keep Helmut in it.