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In the past whenever Natasha had a bad or rough mission she would isolate herself for days, weeks if it was really bad. But she promised Steve she wouldn't do that anymore. Ever since the two started dating, Steve has made it a point for Nat to know that he is there for her. Anytime. Any place. For Nat, that is a hard concept to grasp. She had never had someone care about her this much.
It was 2 am in the morning and Natasha was currently pacing outside of Steve’s apartment building. She just got back from a mission in Russia. Whenever she had to go there it brought up unwanted memories and unwanted feelings. She let her emotions get in the way and almost got herself killed. She didn’t even stop at medical before running over to Steve’s.
She finally worked up the courage to enter the building after 30 minutes of pacing, but still refused to ring his doorbell. She had a key to his apartment but didn’t feel comfortable just walking in at 2 am, she didn’t want to scare him. She knew he wouldn’t be upset at her for coming at this hour, he always told her she could come anytime. But she felt bad for having to wake him up just because she is having a rough night. Finally, she pressed the doorbell.
The minute it took for Steve to come and answer the door felt like an eternity for Natasha. She almost left before he got to the door.
Before Steve even opened the door, he knew it was her. He wrapped her in a tight hug the second he opened the door and pulled her inside his apartment. “What happened?” He asked as he combed his fingers through her knotted hair. He was met with silence, which was expected. Nat never did enjoy talking about what was bothering her.
It was always easier if he asked her questions and she replied yes or no. “Did you have a rough mission?” He felt her nod against his neck. “Are you hurt?” He was met with no response.
“Natasha,” he pulled her away from him so he could look her in the eyes, “if you’re injured I need you to tell me.” She slowly lifted her shirt up to show the stab wound and bruising on her stomach. Immediately, Steve had her lay down on the couch while he ran to get a first aid kit. When Steve returned he was met with Natasha rolling up her pant leg to show the gunshot wound in her leg. “Are there any others Nat?” She nodded, turning around. She took her shirt off to show the bruising and stab wound that was on her back. “God Nat, what the hell happened?”
“I got distracted.” Steve knew Nat never got distracted, especially on missions. Unless- It hit him. She had a mission in Russia. Whenever she had a mission in Russia it was like she wasn’t fully present.
Steve spent the next hour attempting to stitch up her wounds and applying ice to the bruising she acquired. Nat remained silent until he picked her up and brought her to his bed.
Steve crawled into bed carefully pulling Nat close to his body. “I’m sorry,” were the first words Natasha had uttered since she got there. “Steve went to press a kiss into her hair, “don’t ever apologize for coming to me, I’m so glad you came.”
“I had a mission in Russia and it was just a little too close to home.”
“Did you see someone you knew?” Steve felt her shake her head against him. “No, just taking down a human trafficking ring.”
Steve understood, Nat had been sent on these sort of missions multiple times and they were always hard. It reminded her too much of her childhood. “I’m sorry Nat I-” She cut him off, “they almost got away because I was too wrapped up in my thoughts, and then I got shot, and then I got stabbed and they almost took me.”
Steve pulled her even closer to him as she continued, “I got away and killed them all, the people they kidnapped are free now, but I was so scared I was never going to see you again. I was terrified that they would kill me.”
Admitting that she was scared was not something she did. Ever. But with Steve, she allowed herself to be vulnerable, allowed herself to feel. “It’s okay you’re safe now.”
Natasha snuggled into Steve as close as she could while Steve suggested they put on a movie. He turned on the TV and put on some cheesy rom-com because Nat secretly loved them. Steve even got up and pulled Nat’s favorite ice cream out of the freezer for them to share.
“Thank you, Steve, for everything. I have never had a home before, I never had a place to go back to at the end of the day, but you’ve always felt like home.”